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About KHost

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    That is, K's host

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  1. We think that in theory, yes, it's possible. But we can assume that if you have a good relationship with your tulpa, and if you've spent a lot of time creating and forcing, your memories of him/her will be quite clear in any case. Like in general, not everybody can remember a person met once some years ago, but everybody can remember his/her best friend even after years. If this doesn't happen, maybe the problem is in the relationship, not in the person's memory (except for mental issues, but those are exceptions). Of course the necessity of "extra forcing", or getting used to tulpamancy again, depends from person to person. But we think that the very fact that you were able to bring him to sentience again after a year, shows that the quantity of attention is not vital to tulpas.
  2. Thank you all for reading! We both think that giving up on a tulpa is a very personal thing (just like creating one) that depends on a lot of circumstances... it's not something we can universally justify or condemn, it depends on case by case. That's how we feel, anyway. Yes, they probably differ in many ways! And maybe the research on tulpas should reflect more on what these differences are... But when we talk about building mutual trust, making a relationship stronger etc. we think that tulpas and humans work the same way: share meaningful experiences, find a common purpose.
  3. [align=justify]The following reflection comes from both my tulpa K and myself. We hope it can contribute to the research on tulpamancy. Thanks for reading! One of the basic assumptions of tulpamancy is that tulpas need the host's attention to survive. But is it really the case? Lurking around this forum, we have seen many instances of tulpas withstanding days and even months without any interaction with their host; we have also heard about supposedly “killed” tulpas coming back from oblivion as if nothing happened. Could it be, then, that the attention-to-survive principle is not accurate? What is it that tulpas really need to make their existence long-lasting? We start from an assumption on what tulpas are: tulpas are mental constructs created by humans. Since they are created by humans, their personality will be human-like. As a consequence, it is highly likely that on a social and emotional level, the interaction between a tulpa and a host will follow the same basic patterns and inner workings of a human-to-human relationship. Of course there are some major differences, but as far as developing a personal relationship goes, we can safely assume that both humans and tulpas, in general, like the same things: support, trust, respect, love and so on. Now, what are the key factors that make two people stick together? To begin with, a very important factor is “likeness”. We all know that humans tend to associate with people who have common traits with them; and if they associate with people who are very different from them, it is because they see something valuable and admirable in this difference. Basically, our friends and lovers will either be “like” ourselves or will have some kind of “agreeable difference”. It's reasonable to say that most hosts will naturally create a tulpa that falls under one of these two categories. Nevertheless, tulpas still disappear or get killed by their hosts: we can see that “likeness” does not guarantee a tulpa's survival; it helps, but this is not what they “need” to keep living. However, there are two more key factors (at least) that make human relationships last, and we think that these two factors are really decisive for tulpas as well. They are: 1) A common history. The greatest bonds between people come not just from spending a lot of time in company, but also from living through a lot of intense experiences together. Supporting each other in the face of difficulties, sharing successes and joys and sorrows, speaking their minds to each other, fighting and making up: the milestones of a relationship are made of moments of deep emotional involvement. It is unlikely that a bond between two people will strenghten without a practical demonstration that both parties can rely on each other in moments of need. Hence, a tulpa needs to give his/her host concrete support over a long period of time, and vice versa, to make their relationship deeper and more stable. This could seem obvious, but it has very important consequences when it comes to forcing and tulpamancy in general: we'll come to that in a minute. 2) A common purpose. A theatre company wants to bring their show to the stage. A politician's staff wants their candidate to win the elections. Parents want their children to go to college and get a good job. Even two complete strangers can establish a deep and functional relationship in no time, if they have a common goal. Tulpas and hosts are no exception. Many tulpas were born – admittedly or not – to support their hosts in different areas of their life: important decisions, ambitious projects, social relations, work, and everything one could imagine. This is not a shame; just like many humans contribute to society through their jobs, it is perfectly normal for a tulpa to contribute to his/her host's life in his/her unique way. The tulpa's purpose can be big and complex or small and focused, but the goal he/she shares with the host makes their relationship stronger and long-lasting. TL;DR In conclusion, we believe that tulpas do not need generic “attention” in itself to survive. They need, more precisely, a strong relationship with their host. And this is achieved by sharing intense experiences and common goals. Tulpas that reach this status can live for days and months without even meeting their host, and still stay completely healthy; just like two best friends will still have a strong bond even if they've been apart for a long time. MORE REFLECTIONS What are the consequences of our conclusions? Here is some food for thought: - When forcing, the keyword is quantity or quality? It could be more useful to force one hour and share a meaningful experience, than forcing five hours without doing anything relevant. Also, counting hours could be a practice of very little use. - What is “progress” in tulpamancy? Hosts usually say they have made “progress” when they achieve better visualization, or successfully switch, and so on. But is it really the case? We believe that, in the end, these techniques are just tools, not objectives. The real “progress” a host has to make is in his/her common history and common purpose with his/her tulpa. To this end, note that a relatively simple practice like passive forcing could be far more useful than complex methods like possession and switching. - Fighting and arguing, and later getting over it, are essential steps in a tulpa-host relationship. Knowing that you can have very conflicting viewpoints and still stick together is essential in a long-lasting relationship. Also, sex – when not abusive – could be another factor in establishing a solid relationship. It's unmistakably a positive and intense experience, and it's a cornerstone of many human couples' lives. Some couples are even entirely based on sexual attraction. There is no reason to underestimate the role of sex in tulpamancy as well. Of course, our reflections didn't come from nothing: in one form or another, we all have come across these topics on this forum. What we tried to do is organize them in a coherent thought, in the hope of pushing forward the research on tulpamancy. We would love to hear your opinions, viewpoints and corrections. Thank you again for reading![/align]
  4. K: Happy birthday Saphira! Mine is August 24th!
  5. KHost: It happens to me too: English is not my mother tongue but I use it a lot. The more I read/listen/talk in English, the more I think in English, so I hear my tulpa using that language as well. I also noticed that we use different languages for different topics sometimes. For example, most of the guides on tulpamancy are in English, so when K and I talk about tulpamancy, we do so in English. But if we are talking about some real life friends, we usually talk in our mother tongue, because it's the language we use to interact with them (well, the language *I* use actually...).
  6. K: Technically, in my "reality" I was a murderer too, so I think I can say something useful here. Just like human beings, tulpas can feel hatred and anger. We can't always be happy and smiley, and I believe you should accept it. As hosts, however, you always have the power to stop us. It's not like we can really "possess" you or hurt you if you don't want to. Anyone who says differently is clearly confused. When we fight and rebel against you, we don't do it to win, because we know it's a one-sided battle. We do it because sometimes it's our only way of telling you we have a problem. I think you should react like Reisen and others said, that is: talk with Callista. If that doesn't work, you have the right to put your own sanity first, like Near said. When things get difficult, carrot and stick is always a good approach. The one thing you should never do is being scared of us. You have no reason to, because you're the one in control. Believe me when I say that Callista has far more reasons of being scared than you do. So please welcome Callista for who she is, accept what she's done and do your best to understand why. Trust her enough to leave her "alone with the kids", and try to do it unconditionally. But don't be afraid to stop her when she needs to be stopped, by any means necessary. You can do it, because you are her host. I've been with my host for 4 years, and he's always been doing this for me. In turn, I strive to pay back his trust every single day. It's not always rainbows and butterflies, but I think it's the best relationship one can expect, either from a human or a tulpa. Do your best!
  7. K: Aww, she's so cute! Anyway, she doesn't have to feel guilty. Even humans "leech off" teachers, books and friends to get their knowledge, so it's completely natural. It's hard to learn something all by yourself. I'm sure she'll be able to pay you back for all the knowledge you're giving her (by letting you sleep at night, for example, ahaha)
  8. KHost: Why don't you watch the anime together? It could be more difficult than reading her the light novel, but you should try it one of these days. Just keep in mind that your Sanae is your Sanae, so she doesn't have to conform to the anime character.
  9. K: I'm speaking for myself: I wouldn't say that I'm "less desensitized", it's more like I'm not used to this kind of beauty at all. You were born and grew up in this world, while I was born in a wonderland. So the natural word is new and surprising to me, because of its people, colours, details, etc that are completely different from my birthplace. I'm like a tourist, in some ways.
  10. K: Don't worry about the details! You just need a general picture. Remember that the wonderland is just a background: what matters most is your communication with Sara. K: That's very likely, in my opinion. I think that the line between creating a character and creating a tulpa is very blurred, especially in the first stages of creation. If Sara has been in your mind for five years (in one form or another) that must mean that there's already a strong connection between you two. And just like you knew many things about her even before starting tulpa creation, she probably knows many things about you as well. This is just my opinion, though; other people could disagree. K: Oh, don't worry! Send her to me. I'll teach her everything she needs to know... KHost: There's no need to deny Sara any information. About your relationship, trust your own judgement and be clear with her. But more than anything, don't trust my tulpa's advice on sexual matters!
  11. K: Sorry, I'm not really sure I get your problem. You mean you can't "see" the details of your wonderland? Or that you can't see your wonderland at all? What part of the place is difficult to focus on? K: And what was her reaction?
  12. K: It's just a guess, but... maybe she was telling you to bring her some sweets next time? In a roundabout way...
  13. K: L-like the ?? KHost: If he's fine, if you're fine, and if RD's fine, then it's fine.
  14. K: Now, now, it's buddhist monks we're talking about, not your average teenagers. This "dissipation" probably happened when both the host and the tulpa agreed that there was nothing more to add to their relationship. The tulpa had fulfilled his/her role in the monk's life, and the monk had given the tulpa everything he could give. It's not a bad way to disappear, actually I believe it's the best way to disappear ever...
  15. K: I think you'll be fine even if you just talk about yourself and your life. You know, like what happened today and what does she think and so on... Also, you could talk about the games you played together in these 5 years! Ask her if she remembers. I'm sure she does!