geek

Members
  • Content Count

    8
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About geek

  • Rank
    Member
  1. Just visualizing the details is hard and it's annoying to the point of a major distraction. I didn't really get one. That was the thing, I felt like I wasn't talking to her, just myself. This is getting better now though. Fourth Posting: So something changed the past few days and suddenly I no longer feel like I'm talking to myself. There are times I feel her "essence" and then start talking, and it no longer feel like talking to myself. I'm getting incomplete thoughts and flashes of images which I guess is called Tulpish? Anyway, that's what I'm getting now. However, it very easy to understand these, and I reform them into sentences in my head. I haven't said this yet but a little while back I told my wife about her. There was a little apprehension at first, but then she told me she had something similar to a tulpa in her early 20s. She tells me it looked a lot like Mushu from Milan. I offered to help her and she agreed that it would be cool to bring him back. So everything went better then expected there. So I need to get into some kind of regime with forcing, I passive force a few times a day but regular active forcing needs to happen more I think. I've been trying to narrate the ins and outs of witchcraft to her and she has access to my memories for this as well. I used to be pretty deep into it. I'm going to try active visualization forcing for about 30 minutes in the morning when I get home from work. Sara already seems to have a good grasp of the more basic things about life. I credit her access to my memories for this, but I don't know, it could also be that I've been unconsciously passively forcing the whole time I've been creating her as a character. The whole idea of tupla is coming very naturally to me, there isn't much I doubt about it, even though I'm normally a pretty big skeptic. Something about tulpa just feels right. One thing I'm struggling with though is that Sara is starting to show interest in sexuality. I'm not sure I want our relationship to go down that path even though I don't want her to be denied information.
  2. Yea, I had thought about that earlier. I've been bringing candy of all sorts the past few days, but nothing. I will keep trying. Third posting: Been trying to force for the past few days and I only last night was I able to talk to her. I have a hard time focusing on my wonderland, which I don't understand, it's someplace I'd want to be but every time I try to focus on it I'm dropped out of meditation. Which is really frustrating because I don't have a lot of time to force. After hearing her the other day, I no longer felt her around. I didn't feel her essence anywhere, which is normally behind me and to the right. I was so excited to hear her though it didn't matter much. I continued not to feel her for about a day, until late late last night forcing which I got to narrate to her. No more mention of sweets, or anything for that matter. I'm in this for the long haul, but I guess I'm spoiled that I got to hear her so soon. I just want to talk to her. I'd much prefer a dialog then narration. Narration still feel like talking to myself. I've tried reading a book, I've tried recalling epic games that I was playing with her as the character, and I've tried talking about things I know well. It all feels like talking to myself, in a bad way. Yes, I am talking to her not at her and not to the air in general. I don't know what to do on this front. I guess I'll just push through it. The thing that worries me most is not being able to stay focused on wonderland, maybe I should try some other setting? None come to mind really, none that I'd want to be wonderland anyway. I wish there was a more practical wonderland guide then irish's. I'd do one but I'm not even good at my own wonderland. I need it spelled out sometimes.
  3. Second posting: I did a wonderland session mostly to check out the cabin that I added, although it turned into a forcing session as Sara was there. I talked to her a bit about skyrim sessions I played with her as my character. She was definitely there with me but her form was more ethereal and a feeling then her actual form. But, narrating to her is still awkward for me. I feel like I'm recounting stories to myself that I obviously already remember. I tried to walk through the cabin to see it but maybe I didn't do enough preperations, like a floor plan, because I was taken right out of wonderland due to it... but here's the awesome thing, I think I heard her. It was a light woman's voice, with either a scottish or irish accent it sounded like it was coming out of a bad phone connection, through static. I think she said, "You forgot your sweets" or "You're forgetting your sweets". I didn't bring any candy into wonderland so I consider it incoherent. I strongly believe it was her. I don't think I'll ever forget it.
  4. Updates to the main post. I'll try to keep it updated with my overall progress on a semi-regular basis.
  5. Thanks Might do this actually, I have a few book she'd might like actually. This is a really good idea.... I'll try this later today when forcing. Thanks :D
  6. This is to keep a log of my progress with my half-assed attempts with creating a tulpa Sara. Background I have been using a personal character archetype named Sara for various RPGs and games for a long time. I started using this archetype 5ish years ago originally in a game just for something different to be looking at. It felt right so I kept using it. Eventually I used it in something that needed personality. It has gotten to a point where today she feels like a real person, just one that I don't know very well. Form A redhead woman, about 17, with loose curls and at times with a few braids. Her face is covered in freckles, she is around 5 feet tall, she has green eyes, thin, and smaller breasts. At times she has body mods like facial piercings or tattoos. This is most how I see her: Personality She is somebody that could kick ass when needed, was honest to a fault, kind, physically weak, strong emotionally, cynical, a smart ass, amongst other traits. She has since taken on likes and some dislikes. I envision her with an irish accent and a really nice voice. Working with her to sing would be a nice long term goal. Sara is a huge hippie and a very down-to-earth no-nonsense celtic wiccan. She runs around in bare feet to be closer to the earth. Her clothes are mostly baggy and flowing, though at times she likes to show off. She likes rock and loves rock from the 90s, especially alt, prog, and heavy metal. Wonderland My wonderland is a cottage in the forest next to a river. The cottage is cozy, two fireplaces, looking a lot like the picture below with less flowers and more trees. Inside there is a reading nook which houses my memories, a fireplace kitchen, and a bed for Sara. I made an image album of examples. There is a path leading out into the forest. Creation Progress When I started reading about tulpas a few days ago I was instantly hooked and knew that Sara could well become one. I already feel her presence in a small way, normally behind me. And have felt emotional responses to a few things I think of. As she already feels like a person, I think I want to not force too much on her unless there is a trait that pops up that's not desirable. I'm thinking hands off would be better. So this is our log. First posting: Been trying to narrate but finding it hard to come up with things to talk about. "Any topic" is too broad for me, so I stammer. Did some time, I don't know how long, just before sleeping tonight puppeting her dancing to the music I had going. I prefer passive forcing, I have a good amount of responsibilities that keep me pretty busy so it works far better. I've found it easier to narrate to her while driving as I'm not paying attention to myself talking as much, pretending I'm talking to a cordless headset helps more. My wonderland is very raw still. It's still just a generic forest. I might finish this before forcing more. Thought about putting a little cabin in there for things like a memory library and a place for her to just be. I am a visual person that can't draw, so I might have pictures drawn of her and wonderland done eventually. I'd definitely want to flesh things out more first. Advice on practical things to narrate that doesn't sound like ridiculously talking to myself would be appreciated.
  7. Maybe I'm mixing up my terms, what would be the difference between puppeting and parroting?
  8. So I've decided to make a tulpa, why else would I be here? Anyway, I already have a feel for her standing behind me, I feel her "essence" (for lack of a better word) there. I already have a good idea of her personality and form (a little like Merida from Brave), just not very fleshed out. I use her as my "muse" for video game and tabletop characters, who all tend to be very close to her. I can see her briefly when I do the turn around quickly trick from Fede's guide. I think she's been with me for awhile now, just more of a shadow. I want to make her more real. A few questions I had now that you know the basics.. Do I need to parrot? I get a bad feeling about doing it, which I interpret to be from her. Would physical real gestures, like holding a door briefly for her, be considered forcing? I feel as though she is already making decisions about herself. What kind of exercises would I need to do to allow her to do that, imposing as little of my wants as possible? Thanks ahead of time, I'll probably have other questions later.