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About Sata

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  1. A few days after I started tulpa forcing, I was sort of half asleep while in my wonderland and there she was building sandcastles along the beach.(For now we call her tulpa A) Normally this would have proved sentience to me as I did not puppet her in any way to build sandcastles, but I was half asleep and I don't know what I was thinking I then proceeded to kick the sandcastles which was followed by a loud "Hey!" from her which again provided proof of sentience. I immediately realised what I had done and sort of form back the sandcastles through visualising and apologised. She ignored me totally, not a single look or reply. I panicked and was desperately apologising and I got on my knees and cried. I don't know what I was thinking next as I assumed that it was all just my imagination so I visualised her doing some other things and continued forcing and talking to her. No reply this time and her form isn't as vivid as when she was building sandcastles.(For now we call this tulpa B) I can't seems to get the image of tulpa A building sandcastles out of my wonderland, she's just there the whole time even when I'm trying very hard to not focus on that. I then begin to visualise her and the sandcastles turning into sands and falling down becoming part of the beach. It was tough as somehow the image keep coming back but I did it at last after a few tries. When I woke up the next morning I was very depressed and I realized that I might have killed tulpa A. For the next few days I couldn't get a response from her and everything seems to be back to day one. I'm really depressed even right now and I got paranoid of losing my tulpa if I change her name or form. I tried to forget what happened and believe that tulpa A is actually tulpa B but after days I still can't get a vivid image of her or the clear response like when I kicked her sandcastles and the image of her building sandcastles along the beach is haunting me every time I go to my wonderland, she just keep appearing with her sandcastles and not saying or doing anything besides sort of like maintaining her sandcastles. I don't know what I'm feeling right now but I'm very sad and bothered by what happened and I can't focus on forcing her without thinking that she might not be the same Coralia that I had greeted and forced from the start. I never knew a single thought could have such a great impact. I have done many things that I regretted in life but this is the first time I regretted a thought. Our thoughts might never have any impact on our lives, you can imagine punching or killing someone that you hate and not fear the consequences or feeling regrets later on as it did not really happen. But the simple thought of kicking the sandcastles or turning her into sands is so real to me and I believe to her too that I might just regret it for the rest of my life. :( I'm not sure yet but currently I'm forcing her thinking that she's the same Coralia but the thought of her being different keeps haunting me.
  2. I have a few questions that I don't feel the need to start a thread so: When I first started I can't come up with a name for my tulpa then I saw a car on the road with a word on it that say Corella so I decided to use that. Then I found out that it is hard for me to pronounce it so I modified it to Coralia where I can call her Alia for short. I made sure to inform her the change of name too. Then I notice that there's Coral in Coralia and I was like 'hmm that sounded nicer' so I did the whole name change again.(don't judge me yet there's more) So normally when I narrate throughout the day I would call out Alia and sort of hear or feel a 'Yes?' although I thought I was parroting it. But now when I call out Coral I don't get that feeling of her responding. So I went back to calling Alia.(yes I know my indecisiveness) Then now I find it hard to visualise her human form and is thinking of changing it to something simpler.(you can condemn me for my indecisiveness now) But before I do that I'm afraid something similar will happen like the changing of names like what if I ended up forcing another tulpa? So my question is how changing names and forms will affect a young tulpa that is like 4 days old? Any help is appreciated thanks.
  3. Thank you for the answers guys. As for eating people, my English is just bad so please pretend that didn't happen.
  4. I just started forcing my tulpa and I notice it is very similar to what I have always been doing in the past. Ever since young I have been imagining and visualising spending time with people I like. For example eating or playing with people. When I got older I even imagine living in a large house with this girl that I don't know how she look like or what her name was. I spend time with her in the house a lot when I have time or when I'm sad. Isn't the large house my wonderland and this girl my tulpa? I never thought of them to be existing or anything but am I actually forcing tulpas all this time from young? What happen to this friend that I imagined when I stop narrating to him years a go and eventually never think about him ever again? Are they lost in my mind or did they just dissappear? Now I'm learning to force a tulpa with a set of appearance and personality how can I be sure this is a new one and not some residue from my previous imagination?