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About dandbear

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    Charlotte, NC, USA
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    Hey you guys. My name is Taylor, and I'm proud hosts to Ivan, Mabel, Landon, and Pierre. We're currently in a semi-polyamorous relationship. Not really sure how that happened, lol. But it is what it is and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

    I also am the host for several other worlds, which I just refer to as paracosms. They're like wonderlands, but sentient beings that I watch over. I kind of play God and help them through life. I steer them in the right direction and help them achieve their dreams. I call them my "characters" and I take their stories to pen and paper and use them to help other people through tough times. Pretty weird, right? I love it though. I want to be a writer-- it's my dream, and I'm currently attending school for it now.

    I'm always open to chat or answer any questions. I have lots of tips and tricks under my sleeve that I'd love to share with you.

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  1. Okay, rant time. I was on reddit yesterday just browsing around, when I came across the subreddit called r/MaladaptiveDreaming. A forum dedicated to "Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder," and those who are afflicted by it. Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MDD) is defined on wikipedia as "a psychological concept first introduced by Eli Somer to describe an extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning." (I realize wikipedia is not a credible source, but work with me here.) Basically, the people who associate themselves with MDD and these forums have wonderlands, tulpas, and other detailed imaginary worlds/characters/etc. These "extensive fantasy activities" are like forcing with a tulpa or wonderland, whether active or passive (although I've found that most people report active forcing). The term that MDDers use is daydreaming. Now why am I mad? Let's get one thing straight: I get it. I get that some people force/daydream/etc. so much that it interferes with their everyday life. I get that it's a real issue for them. Their struggles are valid. If they can't stop "daydreaming" and it's taking over their lives, then they should get help! If it's really bothering them, then I believe them. The thing that I'm pissed about is that I, a tulpamancer, a paracosmer, a world builder, have had absolutely no issues with my imaginative activities yet it is automatically assumed that because I do these things, I need help. That I have a disorder. That I'm letting this wonderful thing ruin my life, and that I don't even know it. On reddit I equated this to alcohol. Millions of people drink alcohol everyday and experience no issues. Some people abuse alcohol. We call those people alcoholics. But just because some people abuse alcohol doesn't mean that I can't drink alcohol. I know my limits, and I have no issues with it. Another user said that this was more like being the child of an alcoholic. The child has a disposition to becoming an alcoholic. But even if the child does have a disposition, they can still drink and experience no problems whatsoever. In any case, you wouldn't outright label that child an alcoholic simply because of that disposition. So yes, I visualize, I daydream, I tulpamance, but no, I do not have "Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder." I feel as though I should mention again that I have no issues with people who actually do have MDD. My anger is not directed towards the disorder itself. It's to the people who claim they have it, and label anyone with a tulpa/paracosm/wonderland with that disorder, regardless of their experiences. I have never had an issue with my imagination. I have an active life, friends, family, good grades, a job, you name it. So why tell me I have a problem? Another argument I've heard some say is that people who have MDD use these things to "cope," and that is not okay. And I know that a lot of people create tulpas for many different reasons, one of them being out of loneliness/needing someone to help with depression. But is that so bad? I have felt lonely before, and none of my tulpas have ever hindered me from going out and meeting new people. Whenever I'm feeling down, if anything, my tulpas help me through that. And our wonderland is a place to escape, to adventure. But I don't spend all of my waking reality in that wonderland. I know when to "turn off" and "turn on." I have control. I have a normal life. I know the boundaries, and I know the lines. I'm going to say it a third time. I get that people don't know these boundaries and have difficulty "turning off and on." I hope they find the help they need. But just because I have a tulpa, doesn't mean that that's how it is for me. You can have a tulpa/wonderland and not have a disorder. You can have a tulpa and be completely adjusted in life. Heck, you can be depressed and lonely and have a tulpa, and still not have a disorder. Why? Because everyone has a different way of coping in life, and if you can still focus on work, talk to people, etc. with a tulpa, then you are fine. Sure, some of us might have difficulty in talking to others/meeting new people, but isn't that an entirely different issue in itself? If you're tulpa doesn't say "Hey, DON'T talk to that person," or you don't have an issue in "turning off" your imag. worlds/etc. when you need to, then you don't have a problem. How's that for a rant? Anybody else have any experiences with these communities? And if you stuck around this long, give yourself a cookie. I appreciate it.
  2. As far as the mountain/ocean thing goes, me and Mabe had the same problem. I wanted the beach, and she wanted the mountain we fell in love on. So we compromised, and now there's a big ass mountain next to the beach we live on LOL. Compromise, compromise, compromise
  3. Alright, I'm a shit artist, so don't judge. But I tried drawing Mabel on sumo paint and this is what came out. It is fairly accurate, so there's something at least!
  4. I definitely would be up for this. Maybe someday there'll be an IRL conference. Like, the "Tulpacon". lol
  5. Hello everyone!! My name is Mabel and it's my first time posting here so please be nice (: Holy cow, I can't believe that other hosts are doing the "I'm a terrible tulpamancer" thing. Taylor does that ALL. THE. TIME. Like, she thinks she's doing a terrible job and isn't spending enough time with us. But in my opinion she is (: but maybe she could spend a lil more time lol. But I think it's totally cool that y'all are encouraging tulpas to get out there more. I know I need to so that's why I'm posting here (: Cause I feel like even though hosts know all about us, they don't get us, you know? Like I love Taylor and she will listen to me cry and bitch and moan all day, but it takes a tulpa to know a tulpa. Does that make sense? I don't know, I just think we should have a little support community (: Tay: Haha idk if it's too late to post here or not but Mabel really wanted to put her two cents in. I wasn't about to discourage her because I know it can be hard for a tulpa to open up like that. Really enjoyed reading your guys' responses, hope this stays afloat.
  6. Hey, I'm not the only one who does this. Neat. Music sometimes is the only thing that'll get me to concentrate to be able to go into my wonderland. I have certain songs associated with certain places, so when I hear them, my brain just kind of clicks and I go there. I also use songs in my paracosms. And by paracosm, I mean a wonderland-type world with people in it-- just not my tulpas and me. I watch over the paracosm-- it's sort of like a movie in my head. I kind of play God and help steer my characters in the right direction, then I take their stories and write them down. For the most part the events unfold on their own. They're sentient tulpas I've never met. Kinda weird. ANYWAY-- I digress. I use songs in those paracosm worlds and associate them with events. For instance, I might have associated song X when characters Y and Z first met. By listening to that song, I can pull up that exact scene in time and experience it all over again-- perhaps recall some dialogue I forgot or details I might have glanced over. And most often, add to the event itself. I realize all that may be a little strange, but it's one of the main methods I use in forcing. It's worked really well for me, so I thought some others might want to give a whirl. (Oh, and interesting note. The genre/mood of the song does affect the wonderland. Which kind of sucks for me because I mostly listen to jazz, and most of the songs I like have kind of chill vibes to them. So somehow my wonderland has caused me to expand my repertoire and go beyond what I'd normally listen to, if the song sparks something in me. Which is why I have Nickelback on my playlist. Don't judge.) TL;DR totally do this all the time. it helps me recall places/events.
  7. So I've been searching around the site trying to find more out about this topic but nothing's really come up. Perhaps I'm just missing something-- if I am, just point me in the right direction, if you don't mind. My question is, how many of you are in love with your tulpa, or experience some sort of "higher connection" with them? In addition, what are your thoughts about being in a relationship with a tulpa-- whether strictly romantic/sexual/both?
  8. I wasn't asking anyone to. I was just asking for input, actually. And I'm capable of producing one-- like I said, just wondering if it's a good idea or not. No set in stone intentions of making one at the moment.
  9. So, this idea just popped in my head recently: why not make an app to assist tulpamancers in their various creations? I'm talking about an app to help initially develop the tulpa, allowing the user to upload photos, record characteristics, and change them as need be. The same could be done for wonderlands/paracosms, and could help those with multiple creations keep track of them all. Tips, guides, etc. etc. could be an outstanding feature as well. This may be of more benefit to newcomers rather than those more experienced, but still a good idea nonetheless. (((Also, a thought: one could look at all of the things he/she has recorded on the app and force/meditate/visualize on them. For instance, say a location in a certain paracosm is a forest-- >Paracosm >>Forest >>>Picture >>>Picture >>>Details >>>Notes While browsing this screen, one could focus on all the information logged and go there mentally, making tulpamancing in public 10000000x easier and efficient. I do this similarly with a notepad myself and can assure you it is extremely helpful.))) What do you think?
  10. Hey everybody! My name is Taylor. It was by far one of the most profoundly shocking experiences of my life when I came across the site. For all of my life (and I mean all of it), I've entertained several paracosms and tulpas, never knowing what they were called or that other people had them too. And that some want to! My paracosms (which I believe most people on here call wonderlands) and tulpas have completely changed my life. They got me through some of the toughest times and made me wise beyond my years. And I want other people to have that experience, too. If there were anyway that I could devote my life to this incredible field and helping others have their own experiences with it, I wouldn't hesitate. The desire for that is so profound in me it feels like a calling. And in fact, I think it is. For now, I plan on being a writer and sharing all of my experiences and things learned with the world. But if there were only a way I could get people to "write" their own "books". . .like I said, I wouldn't hesitate. Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Sorry if this is long. I tend to get carried away when I write, and foretell at that (that's another term for visualization)! Thanks for reading! Taylor