Sandman

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About Sandman

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    New England
  1. Holy Crap He's Not Dead!? Well it has been a year and a bit since I started down this path, it has been interesting. I have managed to get communications up and running along with a sort of parallel virtual world that I can "see" Summer in. Unfortunately communications are a bit spotty and we don't really communicate unless I am already thinking about her, and it is all in thought. She has started developing her own mind voice though, it has made things a little bit easier. The Parallel world is also a bit spotty and only works when I am not looking at where she would be. Its a sort of like the view joy stick in a video game where the player doesn't actually move but they can see behind themselves. This too is a bit spotty, that is the problem when your tulpa never wants to be defined by a single form. For a while I had to think of her as a shimmering cloud of motes (We have been working on trying to make a "base form" to keep things easy for me). There is a bunch I need to work on. getting her to initiate more conversations would be a good start. Auditory hallucination would probably be the next step, then actual imposition, but i am patient and have many years yet. All in all I think the experiment is a success, time to see how far we can go. Ya know... for science.
  2. I thought the longest word was the chemical name of the protein Titin ( ), but we can argue whether or not that is a word. Next person knows the fury of trying to dock in Kerbal Space Program.
  3. No, I finished up with finals last week. Next person has solved some variant of Rubix cube
  4. Yep Southern Baptist to Deist to Atheist. Next person knows sigma notation.
  5. I am very skeptical by nature, I still have doubts, but you might try this: http://preview.tinyurl.com/nnjos5w It is a yet unpublished article of an ongoing study by Dr. Samuel Veissière. The way I see it, if an entire team of cognitive scientists is researching it, it cant all be complete bollocks. As for sitting down... I have had to set a time and stick to it: one hour of active forcing in the evening. Talk about my day and reflect that sort of thing. People should probably do that sort of thing even if they aren't trying to tulpaforce, introspection is a good habit to get into.
  6. Day 41- With finals fast coming and papers due I have had less time to even attempt narration/ passive forcing, and when I do spend time with her it feels like little progress is being made. I keep having doubts about what is me and what is her. I have always had a tendency to argue with myself mentally and it makes it that much harder to tell whether I am just doing what I usually do or if she has decided to say something relevant to a thought I am having. I am sick of second guessing every thought in my mind, and am considering the potential of forcing my self to just accept all thoughts that could remotely be her, as her. Because if these thoughts are her, then I have been ignoring a quite a number of them. Maybe I am too afraid to accept. Afraid of how this will impact my world view or how it might impact my social life. Afraid that I might be batshit insane for even attempting this. It is too interesting an experience to stop now, but I am afraid. Someone please talk some sense into me. Staring at shadows on the wall, Sandman
  7. Nope Next person: Will be going on a trip in the coming months lucky numbers: 7, 32, 28, 12, 34
  8. Day 34- Well I think I finally heard her. I have been using a ring made of some sort of horn to remind me to passive force, it has been working quite well. I had been wondering when Summer might try to "speak" to me, and had been getting a feeling in my head that I could only describe as that feeling you get when someone tells you to shut it halfway through a sentence and you feel pressure build in your lungs, like there was more that needed to be said. I have this little voice that I sometimes use to argue an idea with myself. mull it over, see its merits. Well that voice tends to say the first thing that comes to mind. As the past week has progressed that little voice has been getting more and more, something, I really cant think of a descriptor. Well I got bored I tried the classic "surprise me" thing, and... nothing. Then with slight disappointed I put my hands in my pockets, and got "who turned off the lights" that damned voice again, always saying the first thing that comes to mind, but the lights were on and I was in a well lit room. That's when I realized my "forcing ring" was also in my pocket. So was it her? I am still not sure. Feeling the chains that bind me, Sandman
  9. 27 days: I think I have gotten some sort of thought response from her. I realized it was probably her when I found I was having trouble not personifying the feeling, after about three days of feeling it on and off. They tended towards peace and calm. It was more like being soaked in a concept than getting a clear thought, so I didn't recognize it at first. I can only guess it has to do with my tendency to think up dramatic cinematic action scenes, which tend to either be depressing or violent, when I am bored and listening to music. Makes me feel a bit disappointed in myself that I keep using her form as an actor in some of them as an impulse, which is weird considering its not fully formed yet, haven't really done any active forcing since the last entry. I have been passive forcing with copious amounts of head pressure in return though. I guess I need to be more mindful of my thoughts. At least its progress. Feeling the chains binding me, Sandman
  10. I realize that I neglected to mention her name last entry. I named her Summer. Not sure exactly why, it could have been a portmanteau of the base characters name, but for what ever reason it just feels right. Hopefully she has a warm personality to match her name. Haven't had but two or three of those visions since the last entry, thanks for that advice Cinemaphobe. Twenty days in: For some reason I have been having some trouble actually visualizing certain aspects of her. Generally I am rather good at visualization, if I try hard enough, to the point of being able to simulate water, particle effects, and the movement of cloth in the wind. But for some reason certain aspects of her form don't want to click into place. Or perhaps it that I am not trying hard enough, or am afraid to commit to one form. Still no emotions or thoughts, though it makes me wonder if I'm just not listening. I started work on a wonderland. Right now it looks like a house, with elements of Japanese architecture, with a large tree growing partially around it. Surrounding the tree are some peaceful gardens, a koi pond that is fed from a small spring that runs down a cascade and flows under a nearby bridge, and a rock for thinking on. A beautiful location where I can feel complete peace. But I felt somewhat unsatisfied with the confines of the garden what I am calling "The Verdant Grove" and so constructed a general idea of the topography around it. I assigned a topological feature to general segments of my mind and types of thought: "Plains of Thought", "Jungle of Imagination", "Desert of Despair", "Fields of Hope", "Mountains of Logic", "Sea of Memories". So now I have an entire continent to explore when we start communicating. I also half jokingly took note of a mysterious land far across the sea called the "Land of Nod". Staring at shadows on the wall, Sandman
  11. That was the general idea. Yes unfortunately it is rather arbitrary, but I didn't have any preexisting metric or artifact to base it off of so I imagined the host and what they have control over as being the base unit, with a tulpa gaining host like abilities as it (is that considered rude when talking about proto-tulpa/ tulpa? "it") progresses. This is basically what I had in mind. The tulpa is initiated by the host, hence stage 0 is in the center. Eventually it becomes conscious in its own right, not directly tied to the awareness of the host, hence the more Venn Diagram looking effect at later stages.
  12. tl;dr? look at the picture, skip to the line and read anything that has a number next to it I came up with a symbolic ranking system for Independence, that is the ability of a tulpa to act without host oversight. I am still only two weeks into the development of my tulpa but I wanted to have some sort of metric to track her development without comparing her directly to other tulpae, and so created a system based on the abilities that would require, or at least I think they would, some level of independence from the host. Please tell me what you think feed back would be appreciated. Again keep in mind that were I to rate the progress of my tulpa she would rank somewhere in between a 3 and 4, so please tell me if this is complete bunk. ___________________________________________________________________ 0. Imagine a circle, that circle represents the hosts realm of awareness and influence. Now imagine a dot at the center of the circle. That dot represents stage 0, an unborn idea. 1. Now imagine a another circle with a diameter 1/8 that of the first circle, with its left most side anchored to the dot in the center. This is stage 1 an imagined idea or a concept of one. 2. add another circle connected to the center dot in the same manner but this time with a diameter of the previous circle plus an additional 1/8 the diameter of the original (1/8 +1/8 = 1/4) so a diameter of 1/4 the original circle. this is stage 2 puppet, in which the subject may appear to be completely life like in the mind but acts according to intent. 3. the next circle follows the pattern of adding 1/8 to the previous circle. to a diameter of 3/8 the diameter of the original. this is stage 3 personality. I am guessing that this is when a tulpa is actually born. 4. after that stage 4 when the smaller circle is big enough to have a point of tangency with the host circle, this is what I am calling the inner voice stage. the point at which the tulpa has just enough independence to begin surprising you with emotions or thoughts. 5. the next stage 5/8 diameter, is the first to extend beyond the influence of the host, I call it the sapient stage, this would be when the tulpa becomes able to actually communicate with you as an entity distinct from yourself. 6. ext stage is 3/4 diameter, the "parallel" stage 7. 7/8, "possession" 8. The final stage at which the two circles are of equal diameters is the "individual" stage, switching should be possible at this point. so /tulpa/ any basis in reality, or is my tendency to try and create standards by which to measure things going haywire again.
  13. Hey first post, I don't have any history with using forums so this should be interesting. Its been thirteen days since I committed to a life long endeavor, thinking back just a week later I probably rushed it, but I am a stubborn fool and keep my commitments. That and try as I might, I can find almost no down side to sharing my mind with another. Summer has, since her initial inception, been performing as expected. I have been feeling head pressure, but no clear thoughts or emotions as of yet. Things have been going rather well with her aside from some problems with getting a steady image of her face and hair. I do worry about myself though. I have been having the most horrid visions of her dieing or being injured horribly, either through some accident or attack that I never see. They come randomly, and I only get flashes of her or of myself holding her in my arms. I talked to someone in the chat and found I wast the only one and that I most likely wasn't hurting her, but it rends me. I really wish I knew what the hell was going on. Staring at shadows on the wall, Sandman