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Everything posted by SvenniTheCat

  1. Days 31-33 12/09-11/14 haven't been able to active force since I've been working on a term paper for my history class so I've only been able to passive force. Kalium has actually talked to me while I've been passive forcing, which is a first. Before, I've only been able to hear him while active forcing or immediately after active forcing. Hopefully I'll be able to active force again after next monday since I'm gonna be busy studying for finals this weekend.
  2. Day 30 12/08/14 Kalium is one month old! Sadly we didn't do anything special while forcing because I was feeling kinda sick (still am) so I couldn't focus properly. So we just cuddled for a bit. TheSanctuary: Thanks. Will just wait to see if Kalium starts making sense more often.
  3. 12/02/2014 Day 24: Started tulpaforcing again. Had stopped before because of concerns involving current events. Had a brief depressive episode. Started to get back into the groove just yesterday. Kalium was very talkative this session. He kept talking even after I stopped forcing. However when he talked some of the things he said were just random meaningless words. Is this normal?
  4. I just listen to various sorts of music, but at a really low volume so I can hear Kalium if he decides to mindvoice me.
  5. 11/22-23/2014 Days 14 and 15 2 week milestone! Got SSB4 for Wii U! Spent all time playing so I didn't have time for forcing! Maybe I shouldn't celebrate that... Anyways, the new SSB game is amazing. The graphics are wonderful, the soundtrack is wonderful. It's more smooth and fast-paced than Brawl. The characters aren't all floaty. All in all a step up from Brawl. Also really liking the new game modes (master/crazy orders, new classic mode, trophy rush, 8 player smash). Probably one of the best games I've ever bought.
  6. 11/20/2014 Day 12: Was in a shit mood, couldn't concentrate when forcing. 11/21/2014 Day 13: Remembered to narrate some of my daily life stuff to Kalium. He seemed a bit perplexed by my math homework. I don't blame him though. We also listened to some music together. During forcing, we decided to explore our Wonderland together away from Hat Lake. We hiked through the surrounding forest, making up the terrain as we went. We ended up making Hat Lake into a caldera in the middle of a mountain range. Kalium went off to look around and came back to me with a velvet ant (see attached pictu
  7. So I've had some trouble lately knowing if the voice in my head is me or my tulpa, but I think I've come up with a plausible workaround for this. What I'm doing is trying to get in the habit of talking to myself out loud instead of using my mindvoice. That way it's easier to tell whose mindvoice is the one talking. I've had some success with this, but I wanted to know, has anyone else tried this? Is this a viable strategy, or should I try something else? Please share your thoughts.
  8. 11/19/2014 Day 11: Been feeling very sad all day. Didn't know why. Couldn't really focus on forcing because of my sadness. It was not my depression because I didn't feel that sense of hopelessness and emptiness that often accompanies my depressive episodes. Decided to give forcing one more shot late at night. Made a comment to Kalium about my sadness. Told him that lately I've felt a sense of loneliness and an urge to cry. Then I realized it wasn't me but him who was feeling down. He told me that lately I have barely visited him, haven't narrated as much, haven't gone on wonderland adv
  9. 11/18/2014 Day 10: Did multiple active forcing/meditation sessions today. First one was after my calculus class (doing power series, awesome shit). Went back to Hat Lake (that's what I started calling that lake we went swimming at a few days back), now our new wonderland. Kalium decided to add some mountains in the background to improve the scenery. We didn't do much at first, just hung out. Laid down by the shore and looked at the stars. Started thinking about outer space, and all of a sudden we were floating through space, just like that. No transition, nothing. Somehow we didn't suffoca
  10. Thanks man. Just recently I was meditating, and Kalium came back! =D We had a wonderful time. Gotta remember to keep calm when he leaves again.
  11. 11/16/2014 Day 8: When I woke up, Kal wasn't there to greet me as he usually does. Felt rather lonely and sad all day. Was missing his company, his cuddles, and rocking out with him whenever I listened to music. I called out his name from time to time, seeing if he would respond, played some of his favorite songs, but nothing. That is, until tonight. I started meditating at about 10:00 pm to get into the mindset for active forcing. As soon as I entered my wonderland, I started looking for him. I couldn't find him anywhere. Then, while I was forcing, the fingers on my left hand started mov
  12. So Kalium just left for the very first time. Now I know that tulpas generally leave for a while and then come back, so it's not that I think he abandoned me or something. Still, I feel really lonely and honestly a bit depressed with him gone. :( Really missing him. His company, his cuddles, rocking out with him while listening to music. What do I do until he returns? Should I keep forcing even though he's not there? Should I just wait until he gets back?
  13. 11/15/2014 Woke up in the morning, heard Kalium's voice in my head. He requested I put on some music, which I did. We played along with the music in our wonderland. After that, we practiced possession, we cuddled for a bit, but then he left. He hasn't come back as of right now. Feeling kinda lonely and bored. Dunno what to do while Kalium's away.
  14. 11/14/2014 Day 6: Events: Though we didn't do much forcing or spent much time in our wonderland at first, Kalium kept messing around with my left arm, flopping it around randomly. Guess he's really excited about possession still. Had to keep focus on my arm so I could use it to work in class and Kalium wouldn't flail it around and cause a scene. Anyways, later we watched the USA - Colombia friendly match on livestream, but he didn't seem too interested. Didn't get that headache that usually announces his presence. After that, he kinda went away and I did my own stuff. Kinda started fe
  15. Not much so far. Our wonderland is pretty small and it's just the two of us, so rather safe as well. Only two weapons we have are the medigun from TF2 and a portal gun (not like the one from Portal, but the one from the show Rick and Morty). We created the medigun to heal ourselves after our boxing match a few days back. (Long story short, I tried to get him to respond to me, I lost my patience, got mad, we got in a bit of a disagreement. We decided to settle it in the ring. 3 rounds. Kalium knocked me out in the 2nd round. Though to be fair, I'm not good at keeping track of time so the rou
  16. Question about visualization. Does it matter that I tend visualize my wonderland in 3rd person? Because I'm used to visualizing things in 3rd person and that's what I do whenever I visit my wonderland, but I feel that visualizing it in 1st person would allow for a more 'real' and immersive experience. Any thoughts?
  17. Hello, I'm Svenni (not my real name obviously). I learned about tulpas a few weeks back and have done a lot of reading on my own regarding the topic, though I've only been involved in creating a tulpa for the past 5 days. So about my tulpa: His name is Kalium, he's lately taken the form of an anthropomorphic rabbit, though it's not clear if he's gonna settle with that since he's just existed for less than a week and my visualization isn't very good so his 'physical' form hasn't settled quite yet, however in other fronts such as mindvoicing and possession, he's developed surprisingly fast. Hi
  18. Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week.
  19. Me: *doing homework after an active forcing session* Kalium: "JOHN LENNON!" Me:... *starts listening to John Lennon* Both: =D And then we lived happily ever after. The end.
  20. 8chan someone at /mental/ (general mental illness board) told me about tulpas, and he linked me to /tulpa/ (exactly what it says on the tin). Read the FAQ there, saw a link to this site, decided to try my hand at creating a tulpa. Read some of the guides here, decided to make an account.
  21. Git gud scrub But seriously, gotta give you props for being that patient
  22. I'm so tough that after I brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth... ... with orange juice
  23. Got mindvoiced by my tulpa in 3 days. feelsgoodman.jpg
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