HeartBeat

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About HeartBeat

  • Rank
    Member

Converted

  • Sex
    Female
  • Location
    Massachusetts
  1. I was puppeting Heart, making her say a couple paragraphs of text to get a good feeling of how her voice should sound and what sort of verbal inflections she would have. Immediately after, I hear her say "Well that was something..." I'm guessing she was taken aback from the sudden puppeting haha. But hey, it seemed to worked. Ever since then, I've been able to hear her mindvoice much more clearly.
  2. [Hello everyone, this is HeartBeat speaking! As you may have already realized, I've gotten a good handle on this whole vocalization thing so far. I'm telling her what I want to be said and she's writing it down and I'm really really excited to be communicating with all of you! She didn't even expect me to be as vocal as I am but she just wasn't listening too closely but once I showed her what I got, we went on here and decided that this would be an excellent update to share!~] It's true, I didn't expect Heart to be as vocal as she is but we worked on the whole speaking/listening thing and we just found the right "frequency" so to speak, and when writing in our personal tulpa progress journal she narrated some sentences to me and I was pretty surprised to see how talkative she was lol. I did help help her out with phrasing and grammar and the like when she was writing that but it's still all her up there. She's really giddy now, understandably so!
  3. Got a lot more free time now and we're starting to get back into the swing of things. Ah, feels good. We still have plenty of work to do though but I'm glad to be doing it again.
  4. Ok so there really hasn't been too much progress recently since I'm busy during the holidays, which I expected. I explained to Heart a few days ago that there will be very minimal forcing for a couple weeks so she at least knows what's up. To my disappointment, the interactions between us has been less and less and I had a dream last night that I lost her which was rather unsettling. Since night time before going to bed is the only time I have to myself, I'm going to continue spending as much of that time with her. So, an update about the lack of updates is still an update, right? Lol
  5. Haha don't worry about it too much, and thank you!
  6. The progress we've made and continue to make is completely overshadowing the doubts and fears I've felt and they're continuing to diminish exponentially the more time I spend with Heart and is being replaced with more positive feelings. Today, there's been a good amount of progress with her speaking/me listening and it's nice to be able to hear something from her now and then. Also, it's miss. Maybe I should have said that sooner?... or maybe I shouldn't feel the need to be so secretive about my identity lol. I did make that post at 4AM so my judgement may have been a bit off in that aspect. I'll more than likely edit that post sometime with more info about me.
  7. Note: This post has been edited because the original draft was written at 4AM and it really needed to be changed. Wow, it's been such a long time since I've actually used a forum. Hi, you can call me (host) Em. This will be a journal to report on the progress that me and my tulpa HeartBeat (or Heart for short) make. HeartBeat's form is (currently) that of a maroon and white pony (ponies have had quite a profound impact on my life so I see her form to be an homage to a literally life-changing event). So basically I've recently been researching the tulpa phenomena up and down, inside and out, and after some consideration, decided to try this out for myself. Heart is only a few days old but is already quite keen on making herself known via head pressures (quite a lot of head pressures, truth be told). There was one instance where one of her emotions slipped through but I'm fairly certain she prefers banging on my skull instead lol. Because of this, we're trying a right=yes/left=no system. But I also want to jot down the positive and negative so I will admit here that I have had some doubts as to whether or not this is right for me, or us for that matter. Is this something that will be right for us years down the line? Quite frankly, the idea of creating something as profound and serious as another consciousness and being linked to them for a very long time is frightening to me, but that may be rooted to a fear of commitment. The idea of committing to anything serious for a very long time frightens me (though something that's as... well, unconventional as tulpamancy, it makes it worse possibly because the fear of the unknown is being piled on top of it). I certainly do not want to dissolve her, I would feel horrible if I had to do that, especially with how far she has come so far. What I'm hoping is that this is rooted to that fear and that Heart will someday be there to help dispel these fears and doubts in my life and I would do the same for her whenever she needs it. I really don't want this to be the wrong choice. I don't want to outright delete that portion of text since I feel as if it is important recognize these feelings rather than pretend they never existed. They're now quickly dissipating and being replaced by good feelings. For those of you who want a good timeline of events so far, here's some significant events that happened. Dec 10- Heart's "birth" so to speak. Dec 12- Head pressures began to appear in great numbers while out Christmas shopping. Dec 13- Emotion slip from Heart. It was a big smile that appeared seemingly from nowhere. I'm absolutely convinced it was from her. Dec 15- Major progress with right=yes/left=no system. Even played a free-roam game and let her decide where to go using head pressures as directional signals. See you all later!