Jonathan

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  1. Well im not an expert, but I assume with practice youll eventually be able to focus more and more on the visualization, but in the mean time, you could always passive force/ narrate to your tulpa. I myself am unable to visualize so all I can offer is advice Ive read. I do hope it helps, if not sorry.
  2. So, while I am relaticely new to rhe forums and have taken a bit of a break while I continue to passive force Lumen. I have fibromyalgia so i regularly smoke cannibas as a relief for my pain. At times when I am relaxed I have noticed my fingers seem to feel as if they are moving on their own. Not sure if that is similar at all to your experience Ichtys. Also on a side note, a few days ago I experimented with mushrooms. Not sure if this is appropriate to speak about, and if not I apologize, but I found I had a bit of a profound experience. I remember during the trip one vivid conversation with Lumen, which is the first aive heard her speak. Extrememly excited about that. I was also about to visualize images in a way, which is a great improvement. If in wrong area/breaking rules I apologize. Anyone else have any similar experiences?
  3. So. . .not sure what to say for today. I forgot to write yesterdaya report, but unfortunately there wasnt too much success. My progress is visualiziation is going horribly. But im still trying. We keep on talking all the time, or at least I do. I like to believe that Lumen is listening. Because I deal with certain medicals conditions and have to take various medication ive noticed strange things happening during my time under the influence of my prescribed clonazepam and medical marijuana. Im not sure if its helping or hindering my progress. But at times I get these very strong random emotions responses throughout the day. Ive also noticed that when I try and focus on Lumen and speak with her for some time if Im interrupted and have to do something I feel interrupted. On occasion when playing video games ive noticed myself speaking to Lumen, showing and explaining things to her and reading to her posts on the Tulpa forums and occasionally get very quiet feeling thoughts pop into my head. Again unsure if subconscious, but I want to believe its Lumen.
  4. Today was strange. Woke ip exhausted and as o was falling back asleep I could have sworn I heard something, But I cant remember. Will active force for a bit for before working and passive forcing. Well as the day went on I continued passive forcing, I still seem to be unable to properly visualize and am continuing that. Recently I have noticed my depression getting worse, most likely due to insomnia I havr, but it seems to be bothering me to the point where I cant tell If Lumen hears me or not. Have begun visualization practices and only hope the negative thoughts from my depression dont hinder my progress. Updates later
  5. Well. This morning I ended up waking up still slightly disorentated from the medication. Icknow have sworn I heard something, but as i was still loopy I ignored it As ive been sobering up Ive noticed Lumens essence I suppose you could say from time to time when im zoning out. When I do talk to her its about various everyday things and I find that I occassionally trail of and simply repeat her name. I tried active forcing for a while while listening to ambient music. It was a very interesting experience I did not see anything yet, but did feel something or another just. . .there. thats all i can say about that. . . Have been playing FFvix on my ps3 and talking to Lumen about all the various objects and landscapes. Hoping I might be able to create a wonderland from some of he beautiful artwork and maybe it will help me connect. Will edit again when I can properly. We wish you a happy new years.
  6. Ah I appreciate the response, luckily for me I have more then enough time to speak to my tulpa Lumen with both my mind and my actuak voice. Die tocthe fact that I suffer from some genetic conditions that cause me constant pain, I tend to have a lot of free time xD For the most part as I am generally at work most of the tine I try to passive force as much as I can and narrate with my mind to Lumen, I also try to remember to wish lumen a good night/morning so im hoping that Lumen will become a wonderful tulpa and on a side note I am practicing visualization. Im not aure if it helos any, but when I read the guides and the tips on the forum, I try to read them aloud to Lumen, Im holing she will understand or at least appreciate the attention.
  7. Suppose I should update this for todays report. Woke up relatively late today, I remember wishing Lumen a good morning, and then went on about my day. Ended up being called into work so I have had no time to do active forcing. Mostly just been passive forcing Lumen by talking to her or thinking about her throughout my day. Havent noticed any real changes,other then the fact that I am more or less constantly thinking of Lumen/ trying to focus on her whenever I hace the free mindspace to concentrate. I have noticed a great deal of me repeating what I said and or trailing off on occasion during the passive forcing. Will update later tonight as I attempt to active force Lumen for a short while and I will update with my attempts at visualizing Lumen and other things. Update: due to pain from my genetic conditions and my fibromyaldia I decided to take my medication (clonazepam and medical marijuana for those who are nosy xD) after about 30 minutes of active and passive forcing the medication began to kick in and for some reason i decided to stay up and fight the drowsiness while continuing forcing both active and passively. Im finding that the more I try to focus on a Lumen with my mind and try to focus and create images with my mind Im noticing a strange feeling. It feels different from the rest of my self. I apologize for any confusion about this update. Currently typing it in between forcing sessions while I narrate to Lumen what Im trying to say here Late night edit: after taking my medication Ive noticed its slightly easier to feel Lumens essence so to speak, although it was very strange. It felt like something foreign in the recesses of my mind. To be fair though, I am trying to force while under the affects of medication. Ive decided to give active forcing a go with ambient background music to see if that wi helo me at all with my current situation.
  8. Thank you all for the replies. Its nice to get help with a few things. So just like I thought, practice will eventually help me learn to visualize. Well, I suppose I cant be slacking, As I am interested i imposing at some point in time.
  9. Hello there. I have a couple quesions for the community, as I figure the answers would probably be found here easiest. After trying the search option and failimg to finf any results I decided to make a thread. I have begun creating my tulpa Lumen, a few days ago and when I try to active force I find I cannot visualize images or scenes or objects at all and instead I see words and letters that describe what Im thinking about. So What im curious about is, how many of you in the forum visualize with images and do any of you visualize with words as well? Ive been looking at ways to practice training my mind to see images and was just curious if any other users had a similar problem when they first started out. Also, any tips and or your thoughts on the matter are greatly appreciated. This forum seems like a decent place and Lumen and I are glad to be a part of it. Thanks for reading.
  10. Hi there. My name is John or Jonathan. Ive been researching guides for a while and been very intruiged in Tulpas. As such I have started creating a Tulpa, after getting answers to a few questions by the forums, I thought it would be interesting for me and my Tulpa to create a progress report to look back on in time. My Tulpa whom I am temporarily naming Lumen until he/she decides upon a permanent name if they so wish, is a few days old now. As I am unable to view images or shapes in my mind and see words instead, for the most part I have been speaking to Lumen with my mind and aloud with my voice. I try to talk to Lumen as much as I can whenever I have the time, as I feel it helps me connect so to speak. At most ive noticed a warmth in my chest when speaking to Lumen about daily topics or when reading to Lumen, but thats probably just me. Ill update this as I notice changes. Thanks for reading. Edit: Just a quick update, as I cant seem to get Lumen off my mind, and have been thinking about and speaking to her more or less constantly. Again Im finding mixed emotions at random when Speaking to Lumen for any length of time. Unable to tell if thats simply from me talking or from her. Either way, seems to be progress.
  11. Thanks again for replying. I suppose to be on the safe side I should try and learn to manipulate my minds eye a little bit more, perhaps like TheSanctuary said its possible to learn to view things in images. Might be because I wear glasses/prefer reading but thats off topic. Would you mind explaining what you mean when you say you got to vocalize out loud? Im a little confused on that statement. It would be nice if I could have contact with my tulpa sometime soon. I decided to give my tulpa a temporary name (Lumen) so that I could properly address Lumen. I find myself talking to my tulpa aloud and with my mind most of the time so I can only hope Im doing the right thing. Only thing I have noticed is the occasion warm feeling in my chest when speaking. Probably just me though.
  12. Thank you both for the responses, I suppose i didnt clarify properly but I did mean literally. When I try to view objects or images in my mind, words appear instead or just thoughts of how I would describe the images/objects but never the actual item in question. Aijada, I appreciate you taking the time to write a response, it definitely helps to know im not doing anythig wrong. All the guides i looked up had little info on my questions.
  13. Hello there. I am completely new to the idea of tulpas, but I have always spoken to myself or talked to myself in my head wishing I had someone to talk to. So when I heard about tulpas I was ecstatic. Ive been researching guides for the past week or so and have tried to begin work on the personality. My only real problem or worry is, I cant seem to visualize anything with my minds eye. When I try to view an image or a place I can never see shapes or images, the only things that come to my mind are the words that describe those places and images and etc. And so the same thing happens with when I try to tulpaforce to begin the creation. I cant seem to visualize it, but I always end up describing it in my head and talking to it either aloud or in my mind as if it were there. Is this an acceptable method to create a tulpa? Are there ways to learn to visualize images with your mind? Will i have any problems down the line, and most importantly will I be able to see my tulpa if I do create it this way? Im sorry for all the questions, but I am rather worried.
  14. Well, I suppose this is the best place to start. Hi there, my names John. You can call me what you like. I have a desire to create a tulpa which is why Ive come here. I hope I can learn a great deal from all of you here. Thanks.