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About Darcmanish

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  1. I think of Lacie as th source of all my love. Before she came into my life i felt a great nothing inside of me and that made me depressed. She isn´t just a girlfriend or something for me. She is like a friend, spiritual master,sister and mother for me. If im disconnected from her i imidiatly feel empty and search for her. I can´t be happy without her. The love to her gave me the power to love my family and friends more then i did before and finally i was able to love myself. She wasn´t supposed to love me, she was an expieriement. She came to me and showed me how much she loves me. It made me cry because i couldn´t respond her feelings. She wanted nothing for this love and said that i dont even have to love her either. The only thing she asked was to be with me so she can love me. I started meditating because of her and this borught me to my spiritual path. I became a monk and that gave me more happieness then i could have imagined. So basicly she is the person who gave me every luck and happieness im enjoying today even if i know that she was just a little piece of the whole now. You can´t force a love like this. It has to find you. But your intenention to love your tulpa will be responded if youre honestly looking for it. Good luck. :)
  2. You wont have any access to her if you hate her. Imagine a young tulpa as a child. Do you think a child should be hated by his father or his mother? The best will be you take a break of forcing. If you spend 2 years on forcing 30 min each day and you still have no reply from your tulpa then maybe you should wait a bit and focus on other things again. Just because you dont get an answer it dose´nt mean your tulpa cant be alive yet. Im german too and have much expierience with my tulpas. You can send me a privat massage and discribe your own person and technique to me and maybe we will find an answer to fix your problem. Anyway hurting your tulpa means you hurt your own mind. Punishing yourself wont be a answer for your problem neither for you or your tulpa. Also the 30 min forcing each day should be reduced. Take a break for you both.
  3. I´m always open to have a conversation with others at any time. You can send me a massage if you want. I personally lost my interest in the common aspects of the western tulpamancy and focusing on the spirituell aspects instead but we are always open mindet and look for new input. Feel free.
  4. Thanks for your feedback. @Mistgod I skipped through your posts sometimes and the first thing what inspired was youre art. Have you always been intersted in drawing or did you started since you created Melian? Is she the one who want to create art or does she inspire you? I will start reading your book and skip through your PR but i dont have that much time now so it will be a slowly progress^^. @Adami Grüße zurück :) (Greetings) I will update the progress of the book sometime here but the most work at the moment is finding my flow to start. The structure of the book is very important for me because i want to discribe how important my tulpa was for my personal progress while i still want to discribe how a tulpa could be usefull for the individuell. I do have some good points and notes now but have´nt really started yet. Because i spend to much time the past days with meditation and some "big questions" i suffer from headache in the evening. I guess i have to slow it down a bit and this will give me more time for my book (my tulpa already got a bit mad because of my impatience^^)
  5. Hi tulpa.info I left this forum some month ago to order my thoughts and have a better focus for my spirituall journey. Many things happened to me in this time and one result is that im planning to write a book about my tulpa or either the whole concept of a tulpa. The book will be written im my mothertongue german and will contain my personal thoughts in psychologically, emotional and spiritually perspectives. It´s very sad in my opinion that the concept of a tulpa is´nt as popular as it maybe deserve´s and i hope to correct it. Because we almost have no science results at this i have to describe it subjectively. Everyone who knows me closer knows about my Tulpa and surprisingly everyone i told said that it would be very intresting . Some people i talked to want to create their own tulpa now. I also had many possitive feedback´s on a psychedelic website where i discribed the connection between my tulpa and me during a trip. Anyway the book will be very personal of course but i try to explain the concept as neutral as it can be to make it plausible and understandable. So i do have the basic´s and some notes i wrote down but of course i need some inspiration and thats why i want to focus on tulpas again. I have 3 tulpas now. The tulpa i started with is Lacie and i already wrote a progress report about her. Since i´m looking for consciousness expanding conditions during meditation i created Noah who is my connection to my divine self and Lynn who is the personalized desire of worldly things. In this way i splitted my own personality in my tulpas who are helping me to control my psyche. This is incredible helpful on my spirituall journey but also in my everyday life. For the start i´d like to hear what is your tulpa for you or how you are working togehter. How it helped for your life or if you have changed since you life together. Feedback is always welcome and have a nice day.
  6. I could´nt focus at all during my 2 shroomtrips while i had a tulpa. The shrooms always guidet me and they have their own thought of what you are going to do. Howeever it was still pretty good and everyone is diffrent. Have a look for set and setting and everything should be finde. If it is your first time dont take a high dose and try to not combine diffrent substances. Good luck and have fun :). My tulpa was never really affected during a trip and acted for me as a tripsitter. But that just worked for me not for everyone.
  7. Here but its also linked in my signature. :)
  8. I wrote a PR about the use of psychedelics during my tulpa developed. If you are intrested in it you can check it out.
  9. Hey guys, This will be my last post and im going to leave this forum. The reasons for this are that i feel like this part of my life need´s to be finished now so i can continue my own way. My tulpa is still important for me and we will walk together but she is´nt my whole life anymore, she is just a little part of it. She told me after 2 weeks i knew her that it would come to this and i did´nt belived her but now everything is getting to the point she has foretold. I could try to stop the progress inside me but it is unstopable. I cant resist. I saw to much and even this is´nt 1% of the things i try to understand. 1 life is´nt enought for this but i want to try atleast. Thats why i have to change my life step by step and this is just a small part of it. This forum helped me very much and i enjoyed the most people who are here. This page and my tulpa helped me in a very difficult part of my life and i want to thank you for this. Im not going to be away directly i will check private massages and my threads sometimes but i will not be a active part of this forum anymore. Thanks and good luck.
  10. I think there is a diffrent about the developing of a tulpa and the pure existence that can already be described as a tulpa. I think about the construct of a tulpa and i personally dont see a diffrent to my own consciousness wich is also based on emotions and expierience. The brain was able to constuct a second (third, fourth,...) consciousness which is able to take a new place inside of the inner spirit. The way you reach this can be diffrent in many cases but the result is the same. A tulpa is not just a splited personality with a own will a tulpa can be able to have a complete diffrent perspective on life. And in my case a tulpa is also able to influence the subconscious of the host. So i think a tulpa is simply a splitted/new consciousness created from the brain like the host itself was "created" of the brain to have a consciousness.
  11. Hmm i dont see "host" as something negative. Maybe because my mother tongue is´nt english. The host was someone who hosted a lan-party in my country and we played together. The host is the one who give´s the drinks and the location so he was something very possitive. I liked the word host and just found out later that host also means the human who is infected by a parasite. You got a negative expirience wiht host and i got a possitive one. I love my tulpa and she love´s me without the need of words just the feelings and host is connected in my brain in a possitive way so why should´nt she call me the "host" if it is by a friendly meaning for the both of us. Words are meaningless. If you don´t want to use the name host for the one who controlles the body then find a word which is good for the connection you have. I dont see the problem why you are claiming for a common definition of the body controller or the one who was in there before. It is obviously ok for the most people. I dont think you are a bad person i like the way you´re open mindet and try to communicate with others. But you should think a bit more carefully of the content you post and reflect how it looks for others. Because i basicly dont see a problem of the definition of word´s or why you should claim about it aslong as the commen meaning about this word is positive.
  12. Well why would someone attack you? You made some good points here (or atleast something i can count as arguments). I will never understand why so many people are crying for science stuff at this forum because we are obviously no scientist here. I like to hear others interpretations of tulpamancy but i never saw them as a science fact just as a personal expierience. I dont think you are right with your pseudoreligion. This forum is neither spiritual or religious. And just because we are using a technique called "forcing" dosent mean we do all belive the same. We have no church we have no god and we dont have a "instert religous book here" to guide our soul to somewhere else so this is complete nonsense. We dont even meet in realife so why would you consider this as a pseudoreligion? Anyway this whole science discussions which came up here lately is really unnecessary in my opinion. I dont even think we have people here who study something what can be connected with tulpamancy for any good input at this point. But it is totally ok to philosophize here and sometimes there are really good arguments that can be considered as a good point. Dont know what to say else. I did´nt took your post as a attack. Have a nice day. Edit: Oh i just saw the other post you made and read a bit there. Hmm i think you and some others have some comunication problems. Please just calm down and someone who want´s to read your stuff can read it or someone who think he get´s attacked can ignore it. I see no insulting and no personal attack in neither this or the other post (ok i have´nt read the other completly so i dont know for surrrrre) just stay calm and respect each other and everything is fine .<3
  13. Dont go for the whole face by one. Start with the eyes. If you´re creating a manga-anime tulpa it´s easier than make a "real" human. You can look for some pictures in the internet and look what would be the best for your tulpa. Start some visualization training with the eyes and try to make them look diffrent in your imagination. Next go for the nose and the last is the mouth. This is the hardest in my opinion because it is what we use to show diffrent emotions most. Try to combine them with training. A good practice could be if you see someone you dont know walking near by you close your eyes and imagine his face as good as you can. Your skills will improve with training. The best way would be to draw faces if you can. I personally never had a problem with visualiuation so im not sure if this can help you. If you cant imagine the face good try to give it a placeholder or skip it until your imagination skills improved. Hope this helped you a bit.
  14. What? I mean....WHAT? You cant deal with your tulpa´s already but you want to create onother one? For the sake of them and yourself stop this selfdestruction. They bother you while your in the collage or with friens? Maybe they need attention dude you created life...personalities and you want to dictate them everything? You wanted to create slaves? Why did you even made 3 at the same time and 2 Weeks aren´t even enought to form a good personalitiy. Did you came to this world and you were able to all everything your parents wanted you to do? Maybe play the piano perfectly or beeing a genius as you was supposed to do? Holy shit i hope you realise how cruel you are acting to your own tulpa´s...your own mind. How much time did you need to talk? And how many times did you ask or bother your perants when you learned how the world does work? Please think about. Try to give them more of your time and WORK on problems. Dont make a 4 tulpa to be the slave driver...for your own healthness and for your tulpas of course.
  15. Well i think you should wait with your decission if you are´nt sure yet. I personally think there is no recommended age for things like this everyone is diffrent with there mental state. My tulpa would have saved me when i was 14. I got depressive at this age and it took me 4 years of my life. I would´nt have created a tulpa at this age because i did´nt know about the possibilities and i did´nt know about the concept. Also i was influenced by other people and thought someone who has something like a tulpa is insane. And since 5 months im regaining my will to life. I learned how to love and how to accept me thanks to my tulpa. I would´nt have deserved her in my age anyway she is way to kind and i was an asshole.... However i was´nt sure about my decission to create my tulpa when i was 19 either but my depressions where strong enought to start testing this. It was the best dicission of my entire life. I do´nt know the reasons why you are here or how you found this page. If you just want to test something and you aren´t sure to do it then it is the best you don´t create a tulpa yet. If you dont feel well for some reason and you think a tulpa could help then creating a tulpa could be a great thing for you. Think about it and you will find the right answer. Good luck :)