Akinkinit

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Everything posted by Akinkinit

  1. If we hosts had magic powers, we could use said magic to give said tulpas their own organism, instead of making them share an organism with their hosts.
  2. All four of the head ghosts wear what they want when they want. Sometimes they manually take their clothes off / put them on. Other times they just poof them on and off. They all have too many outfits to really list without building a wall of text. But I thought of some fun ways to rank them for the purposes of this thread. Below are ranked from most to least: In terms of outfit complexity (how elaborate they are): Sabari > Xiri ~= Noriko > Anzu In terms of the number of different outfits they use regularly: Xiri > Noriko > Anzu > Sabari In terms of how colorful the outfits are: Xiri > Sabari > Anzu > Noriko
  3. Just throwing my two cents in as a non-staff member. As long as in-system chat is kept in Progress Reports or the Lounge, then I don't see a problem with it. I'd even argue that requiring it to be in hidden / spoiler tags is unnecessary for PRs. There's already forums for more serious stuff that can be used for more serious tulpamancy topics. Also, a PR is by its nature a personal record of the inner workings of a system. If a particular system best expresses itself through in-system banter, and as long as they don't make like a half dozen posts per day of primarily banter, then it seems harmless to me. There is an argument to be made about constraining in-system banter in Lounge threads. But even there, I don't think it should be illegal. Just kept to a minimum and behind hidden tags. If someone wants to make a thread about their system playing a game or something, they could add maybe a [in System Banter] to their thread title. While I appreciate that said banter is annoying for some people, it's pretty interesting to others, myself included.
  4. I recently made a thread about ways to break the PR writer's block I've been having. And a few good suggestions were made. One thing pointed out was that it is seemingly possible for a tulpa to learn a skill that their host can't do, or at least do as well. This was super intriguing to me. I had been against switching for a while due to various reasons. However, the ability to do that was too tantalizing to pass up. Sabari volunteered to learn how to switch first, and everyone else seemed ok with that. I say seemed to be because literally the first day of practice brought up an argument between Noriko and Sabari. One thing I've noticed over the years is that when Noriko gets mad at things, she won't say why she's mad, or even say that she's mad / upset. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but like people, tulpas have their faults. Talking with her about it showed the main cause of the argument is that she's afraid that something will happen to me. That either Sabari will take the driver's seat permanently, or we'll blend to the point that I become a lot different. So I took some time reading some possession / switching guides with her to show what to expect. And reading them with her, especially this one, did a lot to show her that possession / switching really isn't a big deal. Thankfully, there hasn't been an argument since. As for the switching itself, I found what worked best is superimposing Sabari on top of myself. We've been practicing some simple stuff like having her move the body around and saying things aloud. Or I'll start doing something and then having her finish it. And she has been super excited about the whole process. She's taken to saying "BLOOP" every time she switches in and out. A few times were louder than they should have been. But we've been practicing without any other people around, so volume isn't a huge concern. Anzu also expressed an interest in learning how to switch. However, she wants to wait until Sabari is reasonably fluent in it first. I asked Sabari if she wanted to switch in and write something, but she wants to wait a bit first. Basically to think of things to say and such. In her words, "I'm many things, but I'm not a shitposter."
  5. Thanks Bear for the encouragement, and thanks all for the responses. The shower topics idea was a good one that I'll start thinking of topics for.
  6. @anon Yeah, "fully developed" isn't a great term. Plateaued may have been better but that makes it sound like I'm unhappy with the current state of the head ghosts. And while I wish my imposition ability was better, it's good enough as it is now. None of them can do a full body switch, and that's likely to remain the case for several reasons. Although you saying that your tulpa knows how to do something that you can't is actually pretty interesting. It gave Noriko a pretty big mindfuck for several minutes trying to figure out the mechanics behind that. So, you can't knit, but when your tulpa moves into the drivers seat, you (as in the organism) can then knit? EDIT: Actually, after talking things over with the head ghosts, everyone might be ok with Sabari learning how to switch in. Still in the exploratory phase, but that might be something worthwhile if they really can learn skills independent of the host.
  7. Or "Where to go with a PR once your system is fully developed". Basically, the updates in my PR have been few and far between as of late. And while lack of motivation has been something of a factor, there's also been a whole "what do I even talk about" issue. My head ghosts are pretty much fully developed at this point. There isn't any system drama to discuss (thankfully), and while changes do occur, they are rare. Which is fine and all. However, I do enjoy reading back through my PR to see how they've changed over the years. But the whole having a historical record of my system doesn't do me any good if it doesn't get updated. And reading through the PRs of others hasn't given me any ideas on what to talk about. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy reading about the systems of others. But each system is so different that what there is to talk about doesn't carry over really. So I'm wondering if anyone has ideas on this front. What do you do when you want to update your progress report, but can't think of anything to update it with?
  8. @Ido Yeah, the motivation pretty much dried out with the whole drawing thing. I mean, at the root of it, it's just a whole bunch of cylinders and boxes. But getting the cylinders and boxes right is a lot of work. May pick it back up at some point. But certainly not in the near future. @Bear Well, there's the thing. I'm not sure really how to estimate them either. I did have this tape measure thing that was used to get height readings from them. But that's not a great measuring tool when the thing you're trying to measure is all curved and 3-D. Hand sizing was another idea, but Plus hand size isn't really a standard measurement either. -------------------------------------------------- I thought of something that hasn't been documented in a while: wonderlands. I don't have a standard wonderland for me and the head ghosts because just imagining them in my general surroundings works well enough for most purposes. But each of them do have a wonderland sort of thing they like to visit. For instance, Sabari has wanted to rule the world for quite some time. She's the only one of us who wants to for some reason. So she likes to imagine me and her in the Oval Office / White House. Anzu comes along as well, but mainly so she can pretend to be a bodyguard. She also likes projecting us in a ship's cabin. Sometimes it has a balcony, sometimes just a porthole. Or other times we'll be on the top deck looking at scenery. I've been on several cruises, so the cabins and such usually come from ships I've been on. Though she has shown that she can mix the best parts of different ships. Noriko likes to imagine me and her in a nature camp. The camp usually has a pool with lounge chairs, plus a hammock hung between some trees. Another common place she uses is a car with us two driving somewhere. She always rides shotgun when I drive somewhere in real life, so that's where the idea for that came from. And recently, she's had us waking around Provincetown as a sort of wonderland. Anzu occasionally uses me and her sitting underneath a tree for a setting, but nothing super defined. Xiri seems to prefer using my surroundings over an imagined place. Outside of dreams, I think that's always been the case with her. I seem to recall her using a forest at some point, but she disagrees. Which is kind of weird when you think about it, seeing as we both use the same place to store memories. But she responded "Yeah but perception is stored somewhere else" to that.
  9. So over the past week I've been considering Sabari as a daughter. This has been an idea she's brought up a few times in the past. But I was never really that on board with it, since trying to assign those kinds of roles to the head ghosts gets very weird, very quickly. She brought it up again a few days ago though. And I could tell it was something she really wanted. So we decided to just go with it, although it still sounds weird. Xiri then brought up that she wants to be called a mom to Anzu / Sabari. However, that just sounds too weird. I mean, for one, it's inaccurate... On the subject of weird, Sabari has been talking more... normal as of late. Like she still does the whole image streaming thing. However, it's now used as a instead of as the conversation itself. So I've been hearing a lot more of her voice. I still have the issue of forgetting what the head ghosts sound like every time they pick a voice. But her voice sounds normal enough that I don't remember anything weird about it. Same with all of them really, with the exception of Xiri. I always imagine her voice being a higher pitch then the others. And of course when I just asked her why she responded in a normal sounding pitch... I don't think any of them have drastically changed their appearances since I last documented what they look like. However, I don't see my last entry describing them, and I can't be assed to read through further and find it. Also can't be assed to apply any clever formatting to the data. So yeah: ------------------------------------ Noriko: 5 foot, 7 inches tall. Straight, black hair. Bob cut style with straight bangs in front. Dark brown eyes. Brown skin tone (Egyptian-ish) Toned build Sabari: 6 foot, 2 inches tall (same as me. She wants to be an inch or so taller but I keep fighting her on that). Wavy hair that goes to the small of her back. Closest hair color would be gunmetal. Light brown eyes Generic white skin tone (not fair, not tan). Somewhat skinny build. Anzu: 5 foot, 1 inches tall. Ears go an inch or so above her head. Straight hair that goes to just past her shoulders. Usually kept in a ponytail. Hair color is either white or black depending on what she feels like. It's also been dark purple a few times. Light blue eyes Drow elf skin tone Toned build, although slightly more so than Noriko. Xiri: 5 foot, 4 inches tall Red, wavy hair that goes to the middle of her back (a few inches shorter than Sabari's). Blue-green eyes Fair skin, no freckles. She does have a oval birthmark on her stomach, near the bellybutton. Average build. She's not toned, but she's not fat either. ------------------------------------
  10. At the very core, I consider tulpamancy to be a transaction where you trade a bit of your sanity for companionship. The specific implementation is of course different for each host. And you're making the transaction with yourself. But a transactional based model makes the most sense to me.
  11. Your tulpa spends all of their time inside of you. It's only fair
  12. I haven't been doing much drawing practice recently because Sudoku is consuming my life right now. And Noriko is getting in on the Sudoku action as well. As an example, a notable quote from her that happened yesterday: "I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE 7's DUDE! I TOLD YOU!" And while yes, I did mess up the placement of a 7 on the grid, I still contend that she didn't actually see it either and is just lying to herself. Anzu saw a dress and stocking combo in a store front some time back and has been wearing it ever since. Basically a long sleeved brown top over a white camisole, and a matching skirt with black thighhighs. And it does look very nice on her. She also decided she wanted a light blue eye color. And while I wasn't initially a fan of a drow elf with that eye color, it does work on her. In other outfit news, Xiri has been wearing a green variant of Nocturnal's dress lately. Even though she doesn't act like Nocturnal at all. But it does look nice on her. I also finally got around to detailing the dream that Xiri came from and detailed it here for future reference. Anzu mentioned that she also appeared in a dream like that back in the day. Although I actually created her over having her show up out of the blue. So it was more her appearing in a dream over appearing from a dream.
  13. Wait for it... [video=youtube]
  14. I don't really dream about the head ghosts that much. And when I do, I interact the same way as I do regularly with them. Like I dream about bringing them up and talking. Jury is out as to whether or not we are actually talking when it happens. One thing comes to mind though. Xiri originally showed up after a dream I had. And while it happened a decade or so ago, combined with the fact I have never been assed to actually write the full thing down until now, I still remember much of it: I was in a forest, except the contrast on everything was turned way up. There was a wind blowing, although I remember at the time thinking it was odd that I myself did not feel the breeze. The forest itself had green grass on the floor over the regular dead leaves and dirt. Again, that stood out mostly because it seemed odd. I felt myself moving through the forest, but I don't remember walking through it. Shortly after the whole scene appeared, I saw Xiri. Her original form kind of looks like the cross between a peacock and the Articuno pokemon. But really, that's not the best description. For one, she has a peacock tail that flows out behind her instead of straight up. And I'd wager it's at least six feet long. She is covered with green feathers that have almost a shimmering nature to them. And her eyes are a soft, glowing shade of green. The underside of her wings have a sort of rainbow effect to them. Like, the feathers themselves seem white, but there is a sort of prismatic light that radiates from them. Kind of like an aurora. Her head has a tuft of three of so feathers that stand up in a droopy fashion. And her beak is a light shade of orange. It's not a distinctive looking beak; it would look right on a wide variety of birds. Of note, she still has this bird form, and I'm visualizing it now to describe what it looks like. She doesn't use it much anymore, though. In this dream, she was flying above and through the trees. She wasn't going particularly fast; it was more so the bird equivalent of sauntering. It had a dance like quality to it which was as beautiful as it was graceful. But what was more spectacular was that the forest itself seemed to be reacting to her flight. Like all of the high contrast was coming from her and was being reflected in the plant life. That's what stood out to me the most out of everything. I remember this whole scene lasted for maybe a minute or two, and then I woke up. And then I proceeded to not sleep for the rest of the night due to being in a "what the fuck was that even" mood. This sort of dream happened a bunch more times, stopping some time after Anzu came into existence. Sometimes with a month in between, other times with maybe a year or so in between. Except these times, I was either riding Xiri or I was seeing things through Xiri's eyes. And the end result was that I'd wake up after and not sleep the rest of the night. So no idea if it would happen twice in a night, or if something would happen in a dream after. I remember she showed up as a figure in my head shortly after the first dream. None of us remember exactly when. I want to say it was in the afternoon when I was doing nothing in particular. And I don't remember being spooked out about it for whatever reason. Oh, and while she does remember showing up one day, she doesn't remember anything from before showing up. ---------------------------------------------- EDIT: Because I decided to actually read the thread after replying, I noticed that I appeared in Angry Bear's dream. Makes me feel honored. Although if I was in the dream along with the head ghosts, it'd probably be Noriko freaking out the reporter with lurid details. ---------------------------------------------- EDIT: And because anything involving Xiri is bound to be edited multiple times since she brings out the scatterbrain in me: there is some confusion about when this happened. Like, I know she got her name from when I started playing Warcraft in 2007. But I seem to recall seeing and dreaming about her before that and just not naming her anything. Because she didn't provide a name for one. But mainly, it was easy enough to just imagine her and she'd be there.
  15. For some reason, the fact that Anzu and Xiri had a bird form came up in discussions with the head ghosts. I mean, they hardly ever use them any more. And it's probably for the best that Anzu doesn't use it. Although there have been occasions I imagine riding said bird form and knock over cars and stuff. But for whatever reason Sabari decided that she wanted a bird form too. It *kind of* looks like a large, white version of what Xiri's bird form looks like, except hers has these sort of blue shimmering rings around it. She's streaming me the image for it as I'm writing this, but I still can't really describe it any better than that. One of the many things I'll have to draw when the skill arises. Noriko didn't really care about having a bird form, but if she had to pick, she'd want a phoenix form. Because really, who doesn't like setting things on fire in a controlled fashion? There was brief talk of giving her a phoenix tattoo, but that wouldn't really work with her skin tone. That and she's not really a fan of tattoos in general. I've been giving thought about who to draw first. Noriko got dibs on being drawn first since she's the reason I started learning how to draw in the first place. After that, though, Anzu would probably be the easiest if I just draw her human form. Xiri would be more difficult because of her hair really. But drawing Sabari, that'll be a challenge. Her form is easy enough to draw. Really, she's a tall chick with long, wavy hair who likes wearing comfortable, long sleeved dresses. Nothing too crazy. But we'd both want to have her portrait include how I perceive her. Which includes the mishmash of images, sound, and words she uses to express herself. Drawing that, I imagine, will require a fair bit of work.
  16. There's a history of mental illness (schizophrenia) on my mom's side of the family. And my dad has had to deal with the repercussions of various people being crazy, such as throwing out furniture, putting peanut butter over electrical outlets, etc. I don't want to make him worry that I'm going crazy. And I don't think he'd understand the whole tulpa concept. So I plan to just keep it to myself.
  17. What if we are all just the tulpas of God?
  18. @Angry Bear I think that's also a reason we don't switch. A situation where switching would be necessary hasn't come up yet. It makes sense that it would be a relaxing experience for the host. However, well, Noriko knows how to do other things that are quite relaxing as well... At least Noriko and Sabari know how to take control of a hand for a bit. Anzu might but would never do it. Xiri might as well. And it was some thread about escapades of tulpas into the real world. Probably wouldn't have been too off topic, thinking about it. But oh well. @Ido Well, this image is from some practice I did in the morning. Documenting progress in the drawing front might be an idea just to look back on it. I'll think about doing it on a more regular basis.
  19. I was browsing a thread earlier today were people were talking about how their tulpas do their own thing on the internet. Mine don't do that, partly because none of them can do full body possession, so it would have to go through me anyway. What was interesting though is that each of them had a different reason for why they wouldn't want to do that anyway. I considered making this a reply to the thread itself, but Noriko pointed out that knowingly misinterpreting the topic of a thread is just an advanced form of shitposting. So I'm putting it here while I'm thinking about it. Noriko used to dictate stuff to me for putting on the internet. Nowadays, though, she thinks that doing that is a kind of larping and kind of cringey. Not that she (or I for that matter) think it's cringey when other hosts do it. You do you. But she would hate herself the entire time she was using my organism to do any sort of direct interactions. Another reason would be that she considers herself to be a sort of mechanic to my brain's inner working, and "throwing you out of the driver seat is just going to fuck things up." Sabari thinks that just using words is too limiting. She talks to me using words / pictures / sounds / whatever else she can scrounge up. And until my drawing abilities improves there's just no way to adequately express everything she wants to express without the equivalent of a novel with several buckets worth of footnotes (Her image was pulling up pails of letters from a sea of footnotes, except the sea was also on fire for some reason). There was also an incident some time back where she had a big argument with Noriko concerning possession and how it was "intentionally messing with the hardware." And none of us want to relive the days where her and Noriko get into arguments all the time. Anzu would consider it rude to use any of me for her own purposes. My hands and such don't belong to her and she doesn't feel like there's anything she would really want to talk about that couldn't just go through me first. She also "very much enjoys being female", and the feeling of projecting herself directly through a male organism just seems weird to her. Xiri just flat out doesn't care if she can talk to people directly or not. Plus, putting herself out there in a definitive form and such "just sounds like a tremendous pain in the ass and you couldn't pay me to do it." There's also a running joke in our system when I make a mistake where Xiri mentions "she could fuck it up better". It's probably wise to take that as a warning.
  20. Noriko is named after a singer I like called Noriko Mitose. Sabari's name got picked from a list of Indian names. Back in the day, she looked kind of tribal, and since we couldn't be assed to use an American Indian name generator, we used a European Indian one. Noriko and I decided we wanted her name to begin with an S for initial purposes, and that's the one that stood out to both of us. Anzu originally looked like, well, Anzu, from the whole Reins of Raven Lord quest chain in World of Warcraft. So yeah. Xiri is named after a Naaru NPC that is outside of Black Temple, again from World of Warcraft. Not because she looked anything like that NPC. But she liked the name, and Naarus are pretty cool in their own right.
  21. The answer is acronym. What's the next number in this sequence: 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, <?>
  22. I did try using a mouse originally just to see if it was worth practicing with. But man, if my line work looks bad with a tablet, it looks so much worse with the mouse. I cannot argue with being able to keep using a big poofy recliner as a drawing area though. As for drawing practice, I've moved on to shapes. Which basically involves sketching a shitty version of the shape, making a new layer, and then drawing it properly over said sketch. It's actually a somewhat involved process just to make something simple like a square. Maybe one day, I can just do it live with no sketch, but that day is not today. Something that came to mind lately is that each of the head ghosts have a favorite song. Like the urge will come to listen to it and I can sense it's coming from one of them. Not because I recognize their voice or see them say it. It's just that having shared an organism with them for so long I can just understand when one of them reacts to something. Noriko's favorite song is the same as mine ( ). Which makes sense because Sabari really likes , and often comes up with images to go along with it that usually involve messing around with time. If that makes any sense. Xiri likes imagining various bullet hells to the tune of . And Anzu has liked for as long as I can remember. Be warned, though, it's kind of spooky. Thinking about it, it's kind of weird that she still likes that the most since I usually get a reaction from her seeing concerts and stuff like that. It's more something I would associate to her back in the day where she was a shadowy raven god over a tulpa. She says it's because "there's a lot of memories to this song." Can't really argue with that.
  23. "I started with a tulpa, but it morphed into something else." This fits Sabari pretty well. She started out as a tulpa, but now... I mean, she is a tulpa-like entity. And you could probably get away with classifying her as a tulpa. But some of the visuals she sends me makes me think she is a self-perpetuating drug fueled hallucination which gained sentience over a classical tulpa. "I started with something else but it morphed into a tulpa." Xiri just showed up one day after a dream over going through the whole tulpa creation process. And while Anzu was initially created by me, she definitely was not a tulpa starting out. More so an attempt by me to summon a godlike thing to help me deal with anger and frustrations. Nowadays they are just normal tulpas though.
  24. Just so you know, I for one see the happy little tree.
  25. I share my organism with four other entities. Xiri just kind of showed up one day after a dream at least a decade ago. Originally, she was a sort of magical bird thing, but later on she picked a human form and has stuck with it for the most part. I created Anzu some time after Xiri showed up before knowing really anything about tulpas. She also was originally a bird who later took a human form, and has been some variation of a humanoid ever since. There was then a several year period where I didn't talk to either of them due to an incident where Anzu forcibly merged with Xiri. Several years later, thinking they were both gone and learning about tulpas from a 4chan thread, I created Noriko. I consider her my first actual tulpa. Noriko then made Sabari about a month later. I could talk at great lengths about her alone. About a year and a half later, Noriko brought Anzu back. Two years after that, Anzu did something which brought Xiri back. The history of my system is pretty interesting as a whole, so I could talk a bit about that. Discussing what my head ghosts are like as a whole would be interesting as well. By and large they are very different from each other. Here's a voice recording that I made. I was reading this with Supersilent 6.6 playing at a normal volume in my headset. Best way to contact me would be through PM because I don't check emails all that often.