Jadedhourglass

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About Jadedhourglass

  • Rank
    Nyeh Heh Heh!

Converted

  • Sex
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  1. Sometimes I get a response that's literally a piece of a song, and the lyrics of the song are a response. Other times, a image comes through that feels like a response to what I'm saying. Is this normal?
  2. I know this is a totally subjective question, but essentially I've seen really conflicting thoughts on this so I thought I'd make a post. Basically, for the personality stuff, I got 25 basic traits that I chose to use. I did this because before I wasn't even gonna do personality, but seeing how a lot of people found it important, I thought I'd do something simple while still implementing the personality aspect of forcing into my schedule. We basically would spend 1-3 minutes on these traits (caring, honest but not harsh, curious, etc), and I just talk to him about what they are and give examples while listening to some light meditational music. Thing is, should this be more detailed? I know this is totally a person to person thing, but it sounds like it wouldn't be enough if I just spent 1-3 minutes describing and talking about each trait to him from what everyone is saying on here.
  3. Holy hell..that actually might be really useful,anything you can think of is in there. Thank you so much!!!
  4. I'm sure this has been posted before, but I couldn't find anything. What's some good stuff for conversation? And it can be anything, get creative if you want, hell make a whole list, anything is appreciated. Cause a lot of the time I don't know what to talk about and all I say is whats going on or hello or I read what I'm reading to them.
  5. Hello everyone. This should have been posted a long time ago, but I never got around to it. This is about me, and my tulpa, Star. You see, we started our journey around early January, and at first I did a hour everyday of personality work, and passive talking whenever I could. It was good at first, I got a really good real response two weeks in, in which they suggested that I talk to a friend of mine over something troubling me. Another time in which I got a response on their favourite color too(It's purple by the way). However, over time, once I felt satisfied working on personality, I thought I should start working on being able to visualize them well. However, I never found the motivation for it. I did it once or twice, but slowly stopped working on it all together. With that, our passive forcing died out as well..i began only saying hello once or twice a day at all, or maybe saying a couple sentences about my day.I felt like shit for it. I care for Star, I really do. I've been thinking about having a tulpa for months before and I know I'm more then ready, but have to push past the motivation barrier. I've apologized many times, promising that we would push through this gunk eventually. But that isn't even the main problem. This is what the main problem is. Essentially, my mind is overactive. By that, I mean it can do entire sentences on it's own, and has done that my whole life. When I get tired and close my eyes, sometimes I can literally hear in my head multiple people holding on a nonsensical conversation, me controlling none if at all of what they are saying, and just observing it as I drift off. Basically, slowly, my mind fell into a big problem. It began filling in for Star. I began expecting responses, which I know is probably toxic but I did. My mind seeing this, would immediately begin responding. Say I say hello to Star. I consciously realize they should probably say hi back in a millisecond and my mind automatically says hello back, me putting barley no effort in. This was a big reason we began talking less. I'd keep getting all these responses, which I can't really explain but I know it's cause my mind knows I expect responses from it, even though I don't want it to happen, and in a snap gives me a generic response. There were even times I can feel Star is getting exasperated by a gut feeling in my stomach because even if they truly wanted too they couldn't get a word in cause my dumbass conscious is screaming a response everytime I open my mouth. Or the times my mind and tulpa would respond, and literally at the same time I get two answers! I seriously can't explain the phenomena and it's really irritating I can't put it in words. In the shortest, most bestest way I can, essentially, even I don't want it too, and I'm trying to get it to stop, my mind is saying stuff for star cause I want star too and yet not want it too(my mind). Does any of this make sense? Also, another problem is that my mind sometimes makes Star seem like they are saying some nasty stuff and I'm worried cause maybe they will start acting like that once they do become sentient. Stuff like "Oh shut up." "Your disgusting." Just generally really mean and sometimes even violent sentences and I know it's only because I have a overactive mind. Any ways to make sure they don't take this on? Finally, any motivation ideas? Cause my motivation is horrible, but I need to do this. For Star, and for us. It's set in my mind, I know I'm ready and that I want this, I just need more drive. (Sorry this was so long by the way) Thank you so much!!!!
  6. Alrighty. So basically, I've begun my tulpa journey about 3 weeks to a month ago. My goal was too active force a hour a day, and passive force as much as possible. However, this quickly changed. My motivation and attention span wasn't up to what I was thinking it was. I'd force some days for a hour and talk quite a bit in the day, and this would go on for maybe 3 days, and then I wouldn't for active force 3-4 days, passive talking every now and then if I remember. Then I'd active force again. Anyways, I've gotten two responses I feel were theirs in this span, in mindvoice too. However, I've gotten TONS, and I mean TONS of responses I don't know if it were theirs. Let me explain. Basically, these responses feel fake, they feel forced. And yet I didn't think them..ish. This is so hard to explain. It basically started out of nowhere..where everything was answered with very basic responses. "yes" "no" "dont know" and it happened..all..the..time...even mid sentence. even before i thought my thought. where Id be like: *about to ask how day was* "good" and its the same generic response everytime. And it legit feels fake-ish. Not only that but it feels like my mind knows I want awnsers and so I myself very quickly say something barley thinking about it. Some I know for a fact I did myself, even though I didn't really think about it. For a full on convo: me: So how was your- mind: good me:mine was great, actually. payed attention in class dont you- mind:yes and so on so on. I'm now expecting them, which I know is probably bad. To the point I can legit see myself forcing it myself at points even though I don't want too. Does that make sense? I feel like none of this does. Anyways, what should I do about this?
  7. Alrighty, I finished personality work and i also introduced myself. Whats else is there that can be done? Form work, and active/passive narration right? Like i just take a hour for looking at them? I don't get form work honestly..like do I just visualize them for a hour standing? And thats it? Or do I visualize them standing while active narrating? Cause I wanna active narrate and also work on their form too. Am I missing anything that normally goes in the process for the majority?
  8. I attempted to do visualization today and study their form in my head but it just isnt working. It keeps spasming and freaking out and I can't get it to stop moving no matter how hard I try. Not only that, but I can barley see it. This sucks, as I already have a detailed sketch out of how they look and everything else, but that's justs it. It's so detailed I can barley see it. So is it possible instead of working on their form, I could simply actively narrate to a cloud instead, and work on visualization on the side? Like I try improving my visualization overall while doing active/passive narration, and then when their sentient, and my visualization is better, we could use that form? It sucks, cause I truly put effort into it, and I feel like their tied to that form. I don't know how, but from always imagining them like that, and forcing while thinking of that form, it feels like its a part of them now and I don't want to get rid of that. I'm stuck in a rut. Isn't visualization a huge part of making them active?
  9. So I had a neat idea, and I'm pretty sure this might have sifted through the forums at one point but here it is. What if we put a beginner group up? Basically, you get a bunch of Hosts who havent made tulpas before and are just starting, and they could become a group! There could be a group limit, like 5 people or so, and they could meet up on a certain time everyday or every other day when planned on a chatroom and discuss progress, talk about their tulpas, put them onto the chat if they can, tons of stuff! :) I feel it honestly would truly help because I know if I was in a grouping with other starting people I would be even more motivated and also looking forward to telling them my achievements! Plus you could make really good friends too possibly :) It doesn't have to just be beginners though, maybe on a form for it, you could group 5 people with fully imposed finished tulpas, halfway there, anything really. Or, and I really like this too, a Host with a finished tulpa could take up 5 other beginners and be their mentor! Going into the chat with them, answering questions, etc etc I don't know, it was just a thought that randomly popped in my head. I feel if it became a thing it'd become really popular.
  10. First off, I wanna apologize if posting a lot of questions here is annoying. I just keep falling into ruts from all the forum posts here. I'm constantly looking at threads to see if I can find anything of value to incorporate into my schedule, and I found a hell ton of threads that were all on sentience.. Quite frankly, now I'm starting to doubt myself a lot. All of them challenged the "sentience from beginning" idea, and with 50 billions ways of people saying how to go through with it, I don't what to do. Some are saying by assuming their sentient and accepting responses even if your quite sure their yours, you'll get a servitor. Or they wont make any progress. Or that you'd have to work months based on that belief cause it just simply doesn't work. I don't know what to do. Everything on here is contradicting and everyones always giving little tidbits on what to do for everything to the point it feels its all over complicated for no reason. I mean, all im doing is personality work for 40 minutes and some passive forcing when I remember outside of that, which normally is about 2 hours or so. But from what everyone is saying, I'm missing out on dozens of techniques that make everything better, or the viewpoint that I was using is wrong and will fuck everything. I know all of this is subjective, but what can you do when what you were thinking and going by is said by multiples its gonna mess the whole process up? In short, how should I handle the "sentience from start" deal? Should I just keep treating them as their aware, or do I need the belief that they are as well with it? What about their responses? I feel from what they said if I keep accepting all these responses that I'm 80% sure was me as theirs, we will never get anywhere... Sorry if this is irritating in any form, I just know I'm going to be doing this for years and I wanna get it done right, not keep fumbling and hitting walls blindly for months with no progress
  11. If I just kept a small list of 20 traits and spent 2-5 minutes each or so one 1 trait describing how they'd act and such, would that be okay? Or maybe if I did one half the list the beginning of the day and the other half later? Or would that not be productive enough since it would be 2 20-30 minute sessions? Personality sessions go by super quick. On top of that, since its only 20 and their basic traits (kind, nurturing,etc) is it possible my tulpa will turn out to be very one dimensional and flat in personality or will it fill in the personality gaps on its own? Cause that's what I was going for. A nice outline but also lots of space for them to fill in what they want as well.
  12. Basically I did my first personality forcing session today. It was ok, but the problem is that I can't see anything well, and their body kept spasming. I was using the orb method for it, in which you make each individual trait into a energy ball. But honestly I feel after this that the listing of traits would be a better route to go. How exactly does that work? Is it as simple as listing each trait and describing it? Because I feel the session would only last 45 minutes at most if I did that. Maybe theres more too it? I just feel like I keep messing up. I meditated for well over 15 minutes before starting, but since it was dark out and I like using a dark room, I had to keep using my phone as a flashlight and checking the traits and going back again and it killed all of the meditation and mood and flow. I'm just horrible at this.
  13. Hello! I've been studying and preparing what I'm going to be doing with my tulpa for the past couple of months or so, questioning whether I'm ready and also making sure I can grasp everything as much as possible. Below is my schedule that I'm going to be using for the whole process. I'd like your opinion, what's missing, in your opinion if anything is patchy or should be changed, etc etc etc. Afterwards, I also got a few questions on tulpas as a whole so I know for sure what I'm doing. Scheduling: First Day: I was going to do a sort of "Introduction" sort of thing, where I visualize both of us in a void of sorts. I'd say who I was, that were going to be companions, and that we would work together to bring them into being. I'd chat about all of this for a while, 30 minutes in the very least, then say I'm going to begin forcing their personality(I'm going to be using the orb method, symbolizing and the like). After doing all the traits and feeling satisfied, I'd say I'm going to leave, that I can't wait to see them again, and end the session. This will all be done in a void like setting. Onward days (each session will be a hour long, one every day): I will continue working on the personality until I feel it's done. I will also look at their form and loosely work on seeing it well in my minds eye. On top of all of this, I shall be passively doing narration outside the session whenever I remember and have the time too. Still done in a void like setting. Onward days(Finished personality): I'm now completely working on seeing their form well, and active/passive narration. I am now doing active forcing/narration in the wonderland. Once they start responding and we start making progress, we'll work on parallel processing and also possibly improving visualization skills overall for the wonderland. That's it. Am I missing anything? Any exercises you would recommend? Etc Etc? QUESTIONS: 1. In a lot of guides when it says to improve on seeing their form good, it says to be able too from every angle. But, doing so means moving their body, rotating them, or switching the perspective like a camera going through pictures. Wouldn't this be considered puppeting? 2. My mind is always saying stuff on its own without me trying to. From random words to whole sentences. Even when I quiet my mind and try to let things go on their own it'll say random things. This makes me feel waiting for a response and knowing it was them seems impossible. Even if I reached a state of meditation and would await for their response, my mind would begin saying things on its own simply because that what I'm hoping for from them. How can I eradicate this? Same with puppeting too. They would begin doing things senselessly or maybe one limb would begin violently moving off hinges and I know its because my mind knows what I'm hoping for again and is making it do things on its own. 3. Similar question from above. Always on these forums it says to give responses the benefit of the doubt and always assume it was their response, but what do you do when a majority of it truly isn't? 4. When not using parroting/puppeting for your tulpa, what do you do when imagining them? Simply them standing straight and still? 4. There's probably gonna be more questions I have simply in the next few days or so. Should I post it in this thread, or make a new one? Sorry if this is so lengthy, and thank you so much for any responses!
  14. When you first began making your tulpa, what what your scheduling for tulpamancing? For example, maybe you first narrated and forced, then worked on personality after that, and stuff like that. Or maybe something even more complex, like at 3 to 4PM on weekdays you did personality work and on other certain days you did something else? Im just curious as to what people did is all.
  15. Heya :) reading yours and everyone elses responses, I was thinking what id simply do is keep the original sketch i have as what their going to look like at first, and when their vocal and sentient I'll present it as a idea to them like you suggested. This way they can grow as an individual and take on his form eventually if they like it. I loved your response by the way! Give Sans my thanks as well!