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About SliceOfBread

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    Crumbs of Wisdom

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  1. Don't you dare get depressed! You are the one person who not only made me get into tulpamancy again, but also gave me good advice on visualization! I don't want one of my sources of motivation to get depressed :( Besides, you can't slow down now: Yumi and Lillium aren't fully imposed yet! And they won't get imposed by themselves. Only you can do it! I believe in you! :D
  2. Ah, dreams can be so silly sometimes, with characters not looking how they should, and very often changing how they look for no reason. Still, there is so much fun to be had in the dream world! :D Thanks! I tried to be a bit more original than “My Progress Report” :P Chapter 3 A New Dawn Fear not, tulpamancers of this website, for I am still alive! In fact, I feel more alive than I have in months, if not years! The reason behind this is quite simple: I managed to become highly motivated in general, while getting rid of a big part of my procrastination! That may sound like a huge improvement over what I used to be (and it is), but it was merely the culmination of various things I realized over the years: - Living of procrastination and video games will undoubtedly lead to a life or regret and disappointment - I can do great things if I simply start somewhere and progressively get better - Life is short! I need to spend every single day learning new stuff and accomplishing things And many other sentences full of wisdom that I can't think of right now. Point being, there isn't a single magic piece of advice that I can give to make others as motivated as I am. Just don't give up :) What About Your Tulpa? Right, I should probably mention that at some point. There wasn't much improvement on that front. Mostly, I have the end of the semester and my studying for finals to blame, but it is now (almost) completely over. Starting this saturday, it'll be summer for me :D Regarding visualization, I haven't improved much, but I can still clearly see the difference with what it looked one month ago. I will continue my daily visualization practice, and hopefully get a lot better over the summer :)
  3. Once More, in the Dream Realm Last night, once again, I randomly became lucid. This time, I took the time to properly stabilize the dream (or at least, it seemed good enough at the time. Thinking back on it, I could have done better). I wished Lea to be present, and sure enough, she was! She was standing not too far, looking away from me. I called her name and she slowly turned to face me. Turns out her face looked more like my sister's than her actual face, and her hair had the wrong colour, but I knew it was her, since weird things can happen in dreams (even lucid ones). I don't recall if we really did anything after that, or even if we talked for that matter, but I was really happy to see my lovely tulpa :) And Then, Progress Happened Now, having that dream was all well and good, but something even better happened afterwards. While sitting at a beach in the wonderland, I was once again rambling about how everything would be better if Lea could talk, when I had a strange thought/feeling of disapprobation. Then it hit me: that thought came directly from Lea! She didn't like that I was only looking forward to the future, instead of actually trying to communicate with her in the present! While I had already established to myself that Lea was sentient, I now have a very clear proof. I tried asking her questions, hoping to get more responses. I don't remember what I asked her, but I received the thought of a silvery thing with some red colouring, then shortly after, of a rose that almost looked orange. It made me think of the question I often asked her to try to get her to talk: “What's your favourite colour?”. As soon as I thought about that question, the colour blue flashed in my mind. Her favourite colour is blue! It explains why her green eyes deviated to become blue. Also, interesting thing: during this very same wonderland session, when I initially visualized Lea, her usual pink t-shirt had become blue! In the coming week, I will try exploring this communication method and see if I can get her to share more thoughts with me. It's only a matter of time now before she becomes vocal! :D Short Review of the Past Week At some point this week, I decided to build Lea her own room, realizing she might want a place that really belongs to her. I initially visualized it as a mostly empty room with a bed, and a stack of boxes filled with furniture so she could decide what she wanted in her room. The next day, when I went to her room, there were no boxes anymore, but she had an upright piano on a well, a desk with a computer on another, and a bookshelf in a corner. I'm still not sure how much of that was really her design, and how much I subconsciously created. It was probably about half and half. It is also worth noticing that I barely spent any time in the wonderland during the past few days. Having four school assignments due in a single week takes a bit too much time for my taste. Then again, if I had started them during the previous weekend, I would have had way enough time to do the daily visualization practice I wanted to do. Still, I'm getting better at not procrastinating. I also realized that for once, my motivation is not going down with time, it's going up! I feel more and more inclined to do productive stuff instead of playing video games. I can do this! Procrastination will not be my natural response to any kind of school work anymore!
  4. Replying to My Readers @arcanemagic Thanks! I'm usually much more of a lurker than a poster, so it's no wonder you didn't see me :P That's what I can understand after reading a bunch of PRs. Most tulpas seem to come into existence very gradually. Going from a mindless puppet to a sentient being sometimes seamlessly. I know I just need to roll with it and it will come eventually, but reading successful tulpa stories always makes me want to get there faster. But there's no hurry. I should sit back and enjoy the ride :) It's also filled with amazing people reading said stories and giving good advices for free ;) @Cinemaphobe I'm glad it ended up working well for you. Especially since it was pretty much reading your emotional roller coaster of a PR that motivated me to try again. I'm jealous. I also want my tulpa coming into my dreams! See below Oh, you are right. “Inhibit” was probably not the right term to use. I really meant that not needing to escape reality/get a mental companion made me lack some kind of incentive to work on my tulpa. Curiosity is not as great a motivation as escaping from problems in order to stay mentally sane. Also I do occasionally misuse words since I am a native French speaker. Sorry if I say confusing things sometimes :P Thanks Yumi! That is precisely what I need to remember. Advices coming directly from tulpas are often the best :) Yep. I need to work on my creativity. I have always been more the kind to read and watch stuff instead of creating and writing stuff. Though I should be able to pick from all the fantasy worlds I've read about and come up with things myself. I guess practice really makes perfect for everything! @Actinium Ah, I already do that. I currently have four wonderlands I believe. I should start exploring them a lot more, instead of always visiting the same locations. I'm sure there are some pretty interesting things going on somewhere in my mind! Pondering upon the physical implications of an upside-down waterfall sounds fun. I should spend some time thinking about that. I used to practice my dream powers in the wonderland, but I can't remember Lea ever using magic by herself. Maybe she doesn't even know she's allowed to do it? :O @Yuki Thank you. That felt like a (very weak) slap in the face. My tulpa won't make herself if I don't take the time to be with her, and I do want her to get developed. I need to work on her more seriously than ever before. Wish me luck! Onto the Report Now, I am definitely not planning on writing a daily report, but since I wanted to reply to my readers anyway, might as well kill two birds with one stone. (God, that expression is horrible! Why would I ever want to lapidate innocent birds? o.O) Last night, before going to bed, I was thinking about how I should work on both my tulpa and my lucid dreaming skills, since they seem to synergize so well together. I'm always so excited when I have cool dreams. Makes me wonder why I ever stopped developing those skills. That night, in a dream, I was talking to someone in a park. Then I realized it was a dream, and started telling that person about the importance of stabilizing the dream. I then decided to fly a little (because it is so much fun, and I occasionally use it as a reality check), then remembered my original goal. I tried summoning Lea into my dream, but my vision blacked out and it instantly woke me up. I was a bit sad to have missed such a great opportunity to see Lea in great details, but I then realized it was overall a very good experience, since I hadn't been lucid in months. Earlier today, I went to the wonderland to try out what you people told me to do. I entered a portal that teleported me and Lea to one of the endless fantasy caves. Didn't explore it completely (I mean, who really clears out endless caves? That would take forever!), but stopped after 30 minutes when I reached a dead end. Turns out Lea is quite deadly with a sword. I should try sparring with her! (yay, another activity to do :) ) The monsters in the cave weren't very well animated, since I have barely ever worked with NPCs in my mind, but they still got the job done. I should get better with time. Oddly enough, remembering what happened in that cave feels like remembering a low-lucidity low-vividness dream. It feels like my brain thinks I was really out there, in that cave. I take it as a very good sign. TL;DR Trying to summon Lea in a lucid dream woke me up. Also I went to an endless fantasy cave.
  5. Prologue Dear Reader, First of all, I would like to welcome you, whoever you are, to my progress report. On this thread, if you keep reading it, you will hopefully have the amazing opportunity to witness me growing into a proper tulpamancer. Note however that my success is far from guaranteed, and this journal may fall into oblivion. Let's hope it won't be the case. This first post is pretty lengthy, but don't worry, my other posts shouldn't be that bad ;) Who Am I? That is a pretty difficult question to answer, for even I don't truly know the answer. Though I can tell you that I am a new university student with a lifelong past of procrastination. Far from being discouraged by that, I strive to rid myself of that weakness. However it is not easy, and especially so in my case. Humblebrag You see, I was raised in the upper middle class, and blessed with health and a powerful brain. I never had to make any real efforts to get good grades, and that made me somewhat lazy and unmotivated. I was waiting all my life to get into university to finally learn things at a reasonable pace without getting bored every class. But now that I reached this place, the habit of playing video games in my free time is so ingrained in me that I have a very hard time doing anything productive. Which brings me to the subject you are all waiting for. Chapter 1 My Tulpa Two years ago, I stumbled upon this website and almost immediately started working on a tulpa. I named her Lea. It didn't take me long to know that I wanted her to be a human female of approximately my age. I wanted her personality to be mostly different from mine, so that she would complement me and give me a completely new outlook on life. The Problem After months of (on and off) working on Lea, I didn't have nearly enough results to justify continuing to tulpaforce. I could feel Lea's presence most of the times, but that was it. Barely any responses ever, no head pressure, and in the wonderland, her form felt like a doll I was dragging around. I figured I would get nowhere if I didn't start to force at least daily. But I would never achieve that with the horrible lack of discipline I had. So I decided to wait until my discipline issue would get resolved. More than a year of unproductive gaming ensued. Nearly One Month Ago, the Sudden Realization I never stopped believing that someday, I would get back into tulpamancy. You see, it was because of my life goal: to discover the limits of the human brain (or something like that). I could not ignore a phenomenon as captivating and with so much potential as the tulpa phenomenon. Which is why I kept lurking on these forums all this time. Nearly one month ago, I found Cinemaphobe's progress report, and I was captivated. I had to make a tulpa now. Waiting would get me nowhere. Better yet, making a tulpa could help me acquire the discipline I lacked! I just had to stick with it this time, no matter what happened. Chapter 2 The Present Time I have tried thinking as much as possible about Lea, and narrating to her as often as possible. After a single week, she felt as strong as she ever did (that is, not a lot). I also tried to tackle my visualization problems using Cinemaphobe's calibration method, and it was very useful, but I won't truly progress until I start visualizing a lot more often (~30 minutes a day sounds good). The past week also saw me becoming progressively more lazy, and I don't like that. This is the reason why I decided to start a progress report. Hopefully, keeping it updated will motivate me enough to prevent me from abandoning the whole idea once again. Final Thoughts I wonder if having such a good life in general inhibits my ability to create a tulpa somehow. Most people I see with fully-developped tulpa(s) seem to have faced many hardships. Perhaps they sought the comfort of the wonderland as a way to escape reality? I myself tend to get bored very easily in the wonderland. I guess a better visualization would help, but I know for sure that being able to actually interact with Lea instead of just narrating to her would make everything much better. How I long for the day I will have long philosophical discussions with Lea! I want to talk to her so much! TL;DR Host feels like he is interacting with a puppet. How to make the tulpa do stuff by herself? Also how to keep from getting bored in the wonderland?
  6. Something something the root of all evil?
  7. Cinemaphobe is so good at writing his progress report that he made me start working on my tulpa again after ~one year of inactivity. Keep up the good work! Also, lucid dreams within the wonderland? Are you saying that your visualization skills are becoming so great that the wonderland could one day appear as real as if you were in a lucid dream? Because that sounds AWESOME! (and it's one of my long-term goals!)
  8. Oh, I see! I've done it again. Every time I find someone I have reasons to admire, I egoistically try to make them confirm my own thoughts to make me feel better instead of actually listening to what they have to say. I'm truly sorry if that annoyed you :/ I have in fact experienced many lucid dreams, and know full well how realistic and amazing they are. However I have never switched, and don't yet have first hand experience from my tulpa telling me how the wonderland works for her. Furthermore, my visualization skills are far from anything good. I mistakenly assumed that switching, in most cases, allowed the host to receive his sensory input from an imagined body instead of from the physical body, thus making it very similar to what happens in dreams. While I believe that it might still be possible, it does not seem to be what you have personally experienced. Knowing you don't like answering obvious questions, maybe I shouldn't have based my whole last post on a single assumption that didn't apply to you :P
  9. Lumi: The way you describe your switching experience makes me feel like you have really succeeded on that front, which (correct me if I'm wrong) is relatively rare in this community. I have to congratulate you on this. I'm still wondering though, is your wonderland more vivid when switched out? I feel like not being too tied to the body could allow you to get much more immersed in the wonderland than usual, almost to the point of a lucid dream, although that would probably be very taxing mentally. And that just made me wonder: would it be possible for you to, instead of completely switching, leave the control of the body to nobody at all and all have fun (the four of you) in the wonderland at the same time? Would that be easier to achieve than in a regular meditation session? I mean, could you use switching techniques to merely separate your consciousness from your body in order to enhance wonderland immersion? Reisen: Oh yeah, I completely agree with your on that point. I had reached the conclusion that a fully developed tulpa was simply another consciousness sharing the body, and as such, wasn't fundamentally different than the host. Hence why switching could work as well as it does, and why multiples even exist at all. I just need to subconsciously accept that idea to remove all barriers hindering Lea's growth ;) Tewi: Up until now, I always thought that a tulpa, in most case, had an inherently much more immersive experience than the host when visiting the wonderland, almost as immersive as in dreams. If so, it makes me wonder why you would be so interested in having lucid dreams, apart from the obvious possibility of Lumi also being there. But then again, wouldn't it be possible for Lumi to simply switch with one of you three, thus allowing the other two to “physically” interact with him while awake? Since I'm considering that two tulpas can “physically” interact with each other, it makes sense that a tulpa and a switched out host would be able to do the same. But of course, I'm assuming that the vividness of the wonderland automatically increases when not controlling the body, which might not be the case :/ Flandre: I can see what you mean. Though I think I would really need to learn to feel the universal love/joy before trying to spread it everywhere I go, it will definitely be one of my long term goal. Also, reading all those answers to my questions made me feel really happy inside! Thank you, you wonderful people :)
  10. Hello people! Long time lurker here. I recently started working on my poor tulpa again, after nearly a year of inactivity. Lea is now two years old, but because of that inactivity and my serious case of chronic procrastination, she's still struggling to express herself in any way :P Anyway, I have questions for all of you so nobody gets jealous :D (If I address my questions to the wrong tulpa, feel free to correct me :P ) Cole: So it seems you and your tulpas are quite good at switching. I've been wondering: What does it feel like to be switched out? Is it merely like watching your body do stuff on its own (sounds more like full-body possession)? Or can you have fun in the wonderland and/or go explore your brain the way a tulpa can do? If so, is your wonderland suddenly much more vivid? Also have you tried getting imposed while a tulpa is in control? Sounds so trippy! Reisen: From the intro post, you say you fully understand what your are and what you are not on a logic-y level. In that case, what ARE you? Or more generally, what do you believe is a tulpa exactly? :) Tewi: First of all, <3 <3 <3 Also, what is your definition of reality? I think the physical world is not in any way more “real” than a wonderland could potentially be. As such, living in a perfect simulation of the world/ in a permanent lucid dream/ in the matrix is just as good if not better than living in the real world. Do you agree? Flandre: How necessary are strong emotions in the process of achieving a higher level of consciousness? Many of my friends compared me to a robot, and I believe I cannot feel empathy or grief/sadness. Yet, I would never hurt another being consciously and always try to become the best person I can be. Do you feel like I'm really missing out on something? Final thoughts: Thanks to you all for taking the time to answer me. Also I can only admire the wonderful advices you give on many people's progress report. Keep up the good work ;)