emptysketchbook

I've tried writing a thread and I've tried talking to people, but I found it as exhausting as real life communication is. I think that's because in the end I'm the least knowledgeable lurker here. And anyway, newb questions and discussions seem to be very unadvised here.

Sleep.

That's a good enough reason for me. Thank you.

It's great. Where exactly are you going to use your data? If it's not a secret for the sake of building intimidation.

Long walks talking about nothing in particular. For example, I like to just maybe sing a song and describe how it makes me feel, or talking about global warming and how it might affect us and stuff like that. Sometimes I get a response, other times I don't, depends on he topic. But I guess that's how you learn what your tulpa likes or dislikes.

I wouldn't call it happy, but I am very glad and thankful that I have my tulpas. The help they give me is essential for me. Basically, if not for my tulpas, I would've been in an asylum a long time ago. So, even if I view them in such a negative way sometimes, I still need them. I wouldn't have my life as it is right now without them, and I love my life.

Hahaha she's so cute Everyone adore this cuteness And the bonus is the even more cute

Weeee aaare the chaaampions, my friend.. And weeee'll keep on fighting, till the eeeend..

You: losing Me: winning

Wow, too much detail. You celebrate how you want, and what you want. I don't want to know I am the winner and that is all there is to say on the matter.

Okay I know this sounds bad, but I can't really have them go away. I now know why I have them, and I am fine with it. They are my "precious little cute" things that help me be less of a sociopath. Remember I wrote that I believe they were created by my brain when it was struggling to fix itself? I'm afraid there are two ways it could go if I get rid of my tulpas: 1) I will go into a state of complete apathy, I won't be able to function in real life, I will be officially a mentally disturbed person 2) My brain will try to fix itself once again, creating mindentities even more terrifying than those I have now. I really want to put emphasis on the fact that I am okay with my tulpas being there. I don't mind their habits of hurting me. I don't care about them trying to possess me for reasons I don't want to know. They are helpful overall, and other stuff just adds some interest to my boring life. Why am I talking about them here? I know for sure some people find it interesting. Thank you for your concern though. I will definitely come back running & crying to you if things get rough. I should really give my tulpas a word at this. They are very curious & have a lot to say for this thread. Grey wants to establish that he is NOT the emotion of sadness. He is more like a whisper in your head that tells you when to give up and cry a little. And Red just wants for all of you reading this to know that he has all the gore. All of it.

Luminesce, First of all, it's great to see someone who has a similar system. But reading you post, it seems like I should've included description of all of my tulpas. I've mostly referred to one of them, Red, who definitely has more influence, but there are others. The first one to come up was Dark(originally he was "light"). None of them have actuall names, I just refer to their visible color. He appeared when I was very young and just realised that I don't feel any empathy/love/pity towards others. He was the one to make me interested, curious, kind at first. But later on all he made me feel is terror. Nowadays there is not much to him but creepiness. The second mindentity to appear was Red, followed by Blue right away. They are conductors of Evil & Good, respectively. My perception of the two concepts is not very deep: whatever is considered bad for me is evil, and everything else is good. The two tulpas dig much deeper. They helped me make many decisions, basically. The other one that I still have is Grey. I don't know much about him, but he has possessed me before. I believe he does it when I need to be sad for some time??? Like, cry a little? I don't know. There have been others, but since they are not present in my mind right now, I am not including them. All of them but the first one are conductors of the feelings attached to them. I don't strife to be them, I am them at times. Its really confusing for others, so I'll probably never talk about my tulpas in detail outside of this thread. You are saying that your tulpa can block you from feeling love towards others? Or does he just distract you from it?

Each of my tulpas have very different feelings towards myself. They are conductors of certain emotions, but they still have personalities and can have opinions. On my side, I don't feel anything toward them as persons. I just feel disgust with the fact that I depend so very much on them. I think your relationship with your tulpa is interesting, Anderson, and I envy that you can have that. But on the note of getting rid of your tulpa.. If I did, I would be put in a psycho prison right away, to say the least.

I can see why you would be so dependant on someone you love, but in my situation I am dependant on the creatures that can and do torture my mind and physical body. They do it because they know I have little to no control over them. I don't really understand how you could love something that has an ability to hurt you so much.

Consider this: a person with a disability affecting personality and emotions cannot feel certain emotions on his own. Now, a tulpa, a mindentity on it's own, creates itself as a response to the person's brain struggling to fix itself. What do we get? An emotive tulpa, perhaps? I've been introduced to the tulpa community not too long ago, but I've had a tulpa for a majority of my life. I theorized a lot on the reason why I was "blessed" by a mindentity. I've come to a conclusion, however, that my tulpas(there are 4 currently) are the representations of emotions and feeling that I am supposed to have but do not have. In the easiest words, myy mindentities are giving me my emotions, when I need them the most. Let me give you an example: a couple of years ago I was attacked by a very aggressive man who've been threatening me for many month before. Normally, I would take a beating so that he calms down and doesn't bother me again. I don't care much for a bruise and a cut here and there. But that time I felt the need to fight back(I was given an advice to fight him by somebody), and that's when my Tulpa, "red" as I call him, steps in and possesses the body. I blackout, next thing I remember is walking calmly towards my house. I knew from all the gossiping that the man had several of his bones broken. Dramatic much? I would like to know whether somebody else has their tulpa influence their emotional state. Also, would you view your tulpa negatively if it affected your life in such a significant way; to an extent of being dependant on it. Any other questions posed will be answered to the best of my ability.