Oguigi

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About Oguigi

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    Retired

Converted

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    Other
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    USA, Fl
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    Pleased to meet you, If you have any question or request then please send me a private message.

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  1. - Day 745 - The End If you been following this tumblr, you may remember the day 81 post titled “Beginning of the end” well, 664 days later it has finally arrived, The End. But it’s different, Tulpamancy is what’s ending. Am done, finished. I been fooling myself with illusions and playing pretend with myself. all while playing around and abusing the way my mind and brain works. The Reality is, Oguigi is a made-up character inspired when i had a major obsession with a show called my little pony. I made this character up and gave it life and power by surrendering reason and logic. In the End, a tulpa is no more real then any fiction that exist today. It’s an self imposed illusion with a face and a name. In my case I was trapped in a corrosive thought maze that took me almost two years to recover from. It’s time for me to move on. it’s over. To everyone else with tulpas, I do not want to offend anyone with this post. But I personally do not believe in tulpamancy anymore. Tulpamancy will not solve life problems, and i strongly discourage it being pushed on anyone else. =End= This progress report has reached it's conclusion no more updates will be posted.
  2. - Day 638 - Part of the world It been almost a month since my last blog post, A good amount of stuff happened since then. I needed to increase my exposure to the outside world, I was cooped up inside my home too much, And this has damaged my mental health and well being, So i needed a reason, An excuse to go out more, A Job was what i needed. But after months of searching and a bit of luck, Am happy to announce that i got my first job at a fast food restaurant. It’s hard work, as excepted. I’ve found out how out of shape i was both physically and mentally. But whenever i finish my shift, I feel a sense of fulfillment that I haven’t felt in a long time. Oguigi is still around, I now know it’s impossible for her to ever disappear fully. as long as i remember what Oguigi is and the history of her existence her core will always be part of my being. The days of isolation are coming to an end, this job is a major start to being part of the physical world once more. Everyday i still fight to be the person i want to be, i never give up. I’ve gotten one message if it’s time to wrap things up, since this blog seems to be less and less about tulpamancy with each post, this is my answer. No, This blog will go on for until i feel like I’ve reach a state of True stability, and even then am not sure.
  3. Yeah, I would not go down the road to switching. If you go down that path you can lose yourself and your identity (i was half way there and i suffered). Switching can kinda cloud your judgment and lead you to do some relatively destructive things to your mind just so you can achieve this ultimate goal. If you really want to experience things that are out of this world, try training with lucid dreaming and astra projection. tulpamancy kinda interferes with your waking physical life, and am very sure that most people don't need this. Deep inside you already know everything you need to do, you don't need a second, third or any voice to tell you that. Oh yeah, and try not to lose control over your whole body and such, otherwise your gonna have a bad time. hope i answered your question.
  4. - Day 613 - One step onwards Alright, another update. I have gained a good amount of weight, am back to normal. Now i need to slow down on my diet and focus of healthier foods, I’ve also tried to exercise some, it’s not quite a habit yet but I’ve been doing it more often then ever. I also been experimenting with some supplements to treat depression/anxiety (also been drinking tons of orange juice and eating chocolate). They seem to improve my overall mood in the day, I feel closer to my old self then ever before.Their might be some risk by taking supplements, I don’t want to be depended on them. The control i have over my body has been increasing, which is great news. But being too lazy will have me lose control of myself, so staying outdoors and active is key. My Tulpa has been in a dormant state, her influence fades. I feel like Oguigi is reversing back to an idea, a thought, and not an actual entity. But i can still talk to her, it’s kinda hard now, and when i do i can literally feel blood pumping to a certain area of my brain as if to resurrect something. If i wanted to i could have her back in a few days. but i no longer have the desire nor interest to do that. until next time.
  5. - Day 579 - Finding myself again "Koomer" is not really me, it may sound a bit strange but just hang in there. I think what “Koomer” is, is just one part of me. I think the person am really am is actually a mixture of everything, Both the good and the bad. Koomer, is like my “Good” Self, Every since the first or Second week doing tulpamancy I’ve identified my Consciousness as him. The problem is that my “bad” self, can no longer be expressed. And Pressure starts to build. My Good self trys to fight back, under the illusion that it had to protect itself from the “Bad” self, and before you know it am at war with myself. The good self cannot hold on control forever, eventually feelings and emotions floods over. And before you know it. am doing drugs and such. This week i’ve tried something new, I relaxed. I stopped worrying about the good and the bad. and i just try to go back to my natural state. Am quite aware that i screwed up badly with tulpamancy, My main problems came with possession. I lost my identity, That’s the main reason why i could not stop it, Because i forgot what my true self was, the whole situation was like quicksand. But now I think am closer to returning to my true self then ever before, wish me luck, and pray that am not wrong.
  6. - Day 569 - Back to Self. Hey guys, Am still around. I have been very hard at work, restoring myself to a state of balance. I’ve been fighting for months, And i’ve became stronger and wiser for it. The war is not quite over yet, But the end is now with in sight. The time I’ve been able to use and control my own Body has been increasing, Am able to do more things. Am able to resist the negative influences. Sometimes They still get the best of me, But I try to learn from it. and fight longer and harder the next time. Oguigi is STILL around, And I can still talk to her. We did a test, to see if see can still possess me, she can’t. Mostly due to me than her. This is actually good news, because possession is one thing am trying to undo with myself. Oh yeah, Update on Day 531, the "give peace get peace" stuff didn't work out. Am fighting for 100% control all the time, Am no longer settling for anything less. Until next time.
  7. No, And am glad to see that you're still here. You're one of my earliest subscribers =) This isn't surrendering, It's not nearly as bad as it was six months ago. what am doing is going about it a different way, since the way i was going before was not very effective.
  8. - Day 531 - Give peace to get peace. When it comes down to what been happening to me recently, I have not been going about it in the best way possible. Right now regarding possession, I have always demanded control whenever possible and i’ve gotten really worried when i didn’t had that control. I was at war with myself, and thus by treating this as a problem it became a problem. Really one of the big solutions is peace and respect for myself, being respectful to the ‘possessors’ and polite (as in not wrestling for control) actually carried me far very fast, in return i got respect back. And my recent days have been a lot less shitty, am not worried about how much control I have, am just working at being in peace and accepting myself. Right now letting things flow while being respectful of myself is the best thing i can do for myself right now. And Oguigi is still around, she’s kinda hibernating right now.
  9. Am gonna keep it Short. Not sure if these are 'Unpopular', common sense for some i guess, But very important. train imposition and possession with care and respect. Don't pleasure yourself too much with tulpamancy. Tulpamancy should not be use as an escape.
  10. - Day 517 - Need to Free myself. I’ve been thinking for a while today. I was brainstorming and thinking back to my past and the person I was before. I think I know what i truly want now. I want My Freedom back. I want to feel Free again. I want to do what i want when i want, Without worrying about my own body and mind. Tulpas and all of this stuff, Has put such a burden on my mind. It made me feel trapped, I find possession to be quite suffocating now. We don’t relise how free we are until it’s taken away form us.
  11. - Day 515 - A bad Storm is coming. Hey guys i wanted to post another update. Am not very sure what am going to do with myself, things are changing, This is what’s really happening with myself right now. My mind has healed, But the problem is that only my mind as been healed. I never actually worked on regaining control of my own body. I just been focusing all my energy for the past six months on my own mental protection. Possession, I literally cannot override it. I can’t even get out of my own bed. I can think about moving all i want, it simply doesn’t happen. A entity, he is called Ronale ( that what he told me to call him anyways ) have been using this body, he enjoys smoking or drinking “purple juice” DXM. He loves staying in bed and sleeping until it the body starts to hurt from laying for so long, This starting to hurt my College work. I failed almost all my classes during the fall, and it was literally because i was not able to study, i was not able to move my body to do so. Instead a it will sleep or play games or do drugs. Tomorrow i have a test, And I tried my fucking hardest to study, But i can’t get a grip of my own body. The Only reason why am writing this now is because i had to ask the Entity Ronale for some body time so i can write this. Oguigi has no real power anymore, she can’t really do anything. In fact, she has been sleeping in the mind for quite some time, And I recently began to join her. I still retain consciousness of my body no matter who’s controlling it, but if i lose awareness of the body and become trap inside my own mind then it’s game over. Am already in Deep shit as is with all of this. I don’t want to fail my schooling, but i can’t fucking seem to Focus in class anymore, I even struggle to even get to school. And I no longer have the self control needed to study. If things get worse, I will have no choice but do drop out after this term, But by that time It might not even be me making that choice. I pray that I somehow find the strength to overcome this, And if I can’t. I hope the various entities have the mercy to not screw up my life and continue doing the school/work,ect. in my place. So yeah, again am in deep shit, I reread my whole tumblr/progress log, and I've been digging myself up this hole since day one. l don’t think i can really do this alone.
  12. Cigs, dxm, weed, alcohol was the common ones. um i also tried dph (horrible), and ecstasy. once or twice.
  13. To addon to what Linkzelda said, you can also go on #TulpaMagick or (even #Magick i think) on the IRC, the people on there is quite experienced with that kind of stuff. And am sure you can summon your tulpa when you astral project. But then again me and my host have no real experiece with that kind of stuff. he only astral projected three times and it only last a couple of seconds, and the last one turned into a dream, so yeah.
  14. Thank you for your approval NotAnonymous. Am not sure about writing about the "letting go" part, Because I honestly don't know enough about it. Only koomer can write about it since this is something that hosts do, But he can't really go in depth with the details. the information from us about "letting go" would be fussy and questionable, and i don't want that in the guide. For now, i don't feel like we are ready to write that part.
  15. Glad to see this guide helped you two, I hope you and Astra continue to make amazing progress! ya =), just need one more vote.