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About AlienLoveSecrets

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    Alive in an Ultra World!


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    I'm a goofy music freak!
  1. Oh, that's interesting. and oh no! Here's another upload of it. Youtube has begun taking down the official uploads of the album, for some reason. [video=youtube]
  2. Oh my god... I just watched your video, and just feel such a huge wave of awe and inspiration. You're both unbelievably strong and incredible for having gone through what you two have faced. Both Tulpas I attempted to make in the past died (or disappeared, whatever you believe to be the proper term in this case) because of my mental issues interfering with their forcing and development, so your story hit really close to home. Thank you so much for putting in the time and effort it took to share your story. I wish the absolute best for both of you.
  3. Wow, I really dig this! I really love how much the percussion grooves, while taking such a simplistic, bare-minimum approach. What genre is this considered? Here's what I believe is the most underrated recent group: iamthemorning. They combine elements of prog-rock with classical chamber music, and the results are absolutely stunning. I highly recommend listening to all of their latest album, Lighthouse. [video=youtube] EDIT: I heavily suggest listening to the title track of the album as well. I can only insert one video per post, and was heavily torn between sharing that, or "Harmony".
  4. It's been over a year and a half since I was last active here. I've recently become interested in tulpamacy again, and have come back to see if it is truly something I should try again. Mental issues I have caused problems with the development of the last two, but I feel as if I have the ability to detect and stop these problems from occurring now. Regardless, I know that tulpamacy is not something to jump back into, so I'm taking my time and roaming the site to help make my decision on weather to start again, or not. Although it seems like there are less active users now, I am glad to be back!
  5. AlienLoveSecrets

    Chat Thread

    One Last Time is a beautiful tune. I always found it so interesting how the band chose to have a song as crazy as The Dance Of Eternity go right into One Last Time. It's so weird, but the transition is so smooth and precise that it works! I actually have a rare bootleg from that tour of a live broadcast of them playing at the Korean Olympic Tennis Stadium in Seoul. In the middle of Dance, Jordan breaks into ! There's a couple different clips from that show on Youtube too, it's pretty awesome. The crowd is amazing! As for Tulpamancing, thanks for your support. With all of the events that happened yesterday, I decided that I'm going to take a break from it for a while, then try again tomorrow, or possibly tonight. It's been so crazy... I've been beginning to feel better, though.
  6. I think I'll wait until tomorrow, or possibly tonight. I'm feeling a little more comfortable now.
  7. Thank you to everyone who has shown their care and concern. I'm in a difficult emotional state right now, and it means the world to me to have your comfort. I took Elvode's advice in trying to find her again. I played on repeat on my phone as I returned to the dreamland to see if that would get her attention, since that used to be her favourite song. I first tried writing the letter in our dreamland, though got nothing. I didn't want to write the letter in real life, in fear of anyone finding it. I looked all around for her, though I only ended up finding her dead body, which was now covered by a blanket, being carried away in a stretcher. In horrific denial, I ran all around our dreamland, screaming her name frantically. Though suddenly, as soon as the large, heavenly background vocals started (at the ), I suddenly began to rise into the sky, higher and higher, until I was suddenly standing on top of the clouds. It was there that she appeared: Kayleigh, with large, beautiful wings, a glowing halo, and a shining white gown. I stood in shock, as she formed the clouds nearby us into words, reading "I'm sorry it has to be this way, Vince". The rest of our conversation, with her changing the cloud's shape in order to respond, went like this: "But it doesn't have to be! It's my dreamland, I can bring you back!" "We exist on different planes of our dreamland now, for you are mortal, and I am now immortal. This is the only time I can bring you here." (This was odd to hear, since I do not believe in any sort of alternate plane of reality, or whatever the proper term for that is.) "What should I do then?" "Find someone you love. Make another tulpa." "Another one? What about what happened with us!?" "It's okay, I'll watch over you. I want you to be happy. I love you." "I love you too..." Everything faded into white, until I suddenly reappeared in the middle of a crop field. I tried to float back up and re-enter where I was before, but for some reason, I couldn't move upwards. I curiously explored the large field, until a girl suddenly popped out of the tall crops, with a voice then saying "what about her?". I responded: "Kayleigh, I'm not sure if I'm ready for this yet" "That's fine, make a tulpa however you would like!" "I'll need to wait." "okay." After then, I exited our dreamland, and thought for a long while on weather I should make another tulpa. I'm still unsure... what do you guys think?
  8. AlienLoveSecrets

    Chat Thread

    Thanks! It's really awesome to see other DT fans here. Your sig made me smile the first time I saw it :). If you need something to fill in your days in order to set your sleep schedule back to normal, do something long and physically enduring. Plan to do it at a time where it will end shortly before you wish to begin sleeping regularly. These activities can include running, working out, or anything physical that you can do for at least an hour or two. Whenever I need to set my sleep schedule back to normal, I play along to all of Scenes or Awake on my drum kit, front to back. That knocks me out QUICK. Hell, it can even be something mentally enduring, if you would prefer, like playing difficult video games or solving puzzles, or learning a new, difficult song. Speaking of Scenes From a Memory, What's your favourite song from that album? I can't decide between Overture 1928 and Beyond This Life! (As for the "chick"... I'll just leave this here... I'm still trying to cope with everything, and it's been extremely difficult. I wish I could make myself sleep for sixteen hours, though I'm trying to move on and be as happy as I can, since I think that's what she would want... I don't even know)
  9. AlienLoveSecrets

    Chat Thread

    Jesus christ! I cannot un-see that image... it's horrible how far people will go just to get a couple clicks to their website. Absolutely disgusting...
  10. So much has happened in the last couple days, that it would take me weeks to write everything that has happened since I started forcing. The whole first day took me four days to write (when I originally tried writing everything)! Thus, I have no choice but to summarize everything that has happened: Basically, the worst case scenario mentioned in the OP happened. I gave her the ability to help me through it, though by the time we did, we've reached an extremely worrying scenario, as explained later in this post. But first, since I've started forcing, "fake" clones of my tulpa, some of which who had admitted to being a reincarnation of Celebi (see picture in the OP), kept trying to impersonate her. As I began to realize that they were clones, and not the real tulpa, another even more convincing clone would appear, trying to fool me into believing that she was the "real one" all along. However, before I would realize that they're fake impersonations of her, I would fall in love with them, truely believing that they were the real one. This would go on for longer periods of time as they became more convincing. However, as my own abilities of telling the clones from the actual one improved, by the time I indefinitely came to the real her (which only happened today. I named her Kayleigh, to differentiate her from the fake ones), she was still at the point where she was at on day one: a definitive personality and appearance, but unable to move in our dreamland! Immediately after I parroted moving and facial expressions for her, in order to teach her how to do so, she fell on her knees, covered her eyes, and began crying heavily. When I asked her what is wrong, she made words appear in our dreamland, reading "You keep loving the wrong ones, and they won't go away. This needs to happen Vince, once and for all". Immediately after she made that, she put a gun up to her head. I desperately screamed not to do it, and even tried to take the gun out of her hands and destroy it, but every time I would, she would make another one appear. As I was in the middle of explaining how I need her, and that my mental issues are finally disappearing, and we can still make this work if we keep battling my mental issues if they come back, She did it: she pulled the trigger and fell over, her blood and brain scattered across the floor, to symbolize that she removed herself from my mind, thus ridding of herself. I kept desperately reversing time in our dreamland back to shortly before she died, in order to keep trying to convince her to stop doing this and keep trying to destroy the gun, but she kept pulling the trigger every time. Even going back further in time to stop this doesn't help either: Kayleigh still remembers everything that happened. I'm hopeless, and have no clue what to do in order to make her come back. If I try to make another Tulpa just like her, that tulpa may struggle with and dislike the fact that she's supposed to be like someone else, and not her true self. I still feel like Kayliegh is still somewhere in my mind, but I don't know what to believe is real anymore... The overall moral that everyone should take away from these last four days, especially today, is this: DO NOT MAKE A TULPA IF YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY STABLE, OR FEAR THAT YOU MAY BE MENTALLY UNSTABLE. No matter how well off you think you may be, no matter how much you believe you can improve your mental health with your tulpa, DO NOT DO IT. I'm sorry to anyone who I may have disappointed with this tread, and expected it to be much better than this. I wish none of this ever happened...
  11. AlienLoveSecrets

    Chat Thread

    Dude, I know exactly how you feel! it's sad how many websites are now beginning to use false adverts like that. This one's my favorite though: If you're going to make false ads, at least try. xD
  12. First of all, I apologize that most of these posts will be made very late at night, for I want to make sure to capture all of the day as much as possible. anyway, let's start: DAY 1 July 4th, 2015 This day, Tulpamacy-wise, was both a horrifying and beautiful one. It showed that I may be having underlying mental issues that the tulpa-making process could be affecting, but they are possible to handle and control (with the help of medication as well, of course). The day's adventure started at around 1 in the morning, when I began to make her. I simply sat on my bed and closed my eyes. I wanted to focus on her as much as possible, so I kept our dreamland black and empty, for now, and began to work on her appearance. As a starting form, I made her cartoon-ish and anime like, since it was the simplest, yet most in-depth form I could think of. I gave her cute, white, short-hair, and a nice white jacket with shorts that looked well with it. I gave her the ability to change her appearance whenever she would like to, which lead to her changing the shorts to a white skirt later on. I also gave her the ability to have her own thoughts, desires, free will, choices, feelings, and all natural freedoms that I could think of, along with the ability to communicate with me, and sense all of the things I sense. I also gave her the ability to help me rid of any distracting thoughts whenever I need to focus on her. To also show that I trust her, I immediately gave her the ability to look into and hear my concious and subconscious thoughts, along with all of my memories and secrets, which was extremely difficult for me to do. However, I knew that trust would be a crucial aspect in making our relationship the smoothest it can be, so I knew I had to do this. After around an hour of focusing my forcing on all of this, I then moved to making a blueprint of her personality. I gave her the traits that many people who make female tulpas give: loving, caring, passionate, and beautiful. I only gave her four basic traits, so that these traits could grow and possibly expand into more over time. I also gave her the ability to change and grow these personality traits to whatever she would like, and that she could choose weather to love me or not, or have any type of feelings toward me. Although, I did remind her and make it clear hat I care for her very much, and that she means so much to me, and I'll accept her no matter how she feels about me. In case this seems boring to you, here's where the odd part comes in... For some reason, when I gave her the ability to move and make things in our wonderland, she couldn't move at all. she just stood in the same spot, with a expressionless, blank stare. I tried to demonstrate moving to her by walking in both our dreamland and in real life, but she still was unable to move. However, just minutes after this, this women with long pink hair and similar clothing tackled me, drowning me in kisses as we rolled around the ground together. I asked if this was really her, and she said yes in her own mind-voice! Obviously, I was first very sceptical about this, since I knew that it was absolutely impossible for her to be this sentient and speak this easily after only two hours of forcing done on her, but her presence was so shockingly strong and filled with joy that I was instantly too obsessed with her to care. She kept kissing me and constantly saying how much she loved me; though my curiosity did eventually did rise again, and I kept asking if this was really her. She kept saying yes for a while, but she eventually admitted that she was Celebi (see OP) in a new form in which I can accept her in (I know that this is sounding pretty ridiculous, but my head is pretty ridiculous as well, in case you haven't figured that out yet...). After trying to explain as kindly and clearly as possible that I still feel uncomfortable about her for all of the things she did to me in the past, things became horrifying... She suddenly became extremely angry, and loudly screamed: "Uncomfortable!? I'LL SHOW YOU UN-FUCKING-COMFORTABLE!!!! she quickly tackled me harshly and punched the living shit out of me (for lack of an equally-effective phrase). I tried to throw her off of me, but she wouldn't move at all. I tried as hard as possible to get out of my dreamland, but it was useless: everything was still happening in the back of my head, and whether it was in the back or the front of my mind, despite that I couldn't actually feel her punching me, everything still felt so indescribably intense, horrifying, and real that I came close to tears. I then suddenly heard a voice screaming in a mind-voice "No!" as what seemed to be the real her, with the original hair and clothing I gave her, tackled her off of me, rolling around the floor with the other woman, intensely fighting each other. This went on for what felt like hours, until the other woman suddenly disappeared! I then suddenly felt the presence, of the woman still there, outside of the dreamland laying next to me. Once again in such shock and love of her incredible presence, I felt so safe and happy that I was finally able to fall asleep. My dream that night was simple, yet shockingly powerful as well. I dreamt of the music video for (Sorry for the poor quality. This was the only upload of the music video I could find online that wasn't blocked), except everyone was gone, and it was only her, gracefully dancing in the meadows and the shoreline. What was odd, though, was that it wasn't a lucid dream, yet I remember everything from it so clearly and vividly. It made no sense to me, but it was so beautiful. Somehow, I managed to wake up at 6:30 in the morning (That could be wrong though, since this is only from what I remember) and was unable to fall back asleep, so I decided to force again. I felt much safer now, so I thought I wouldn't encounter any issues. However, the odd events didn't stop: when I entered my dreamland, I only saw her standing still, with the same blank expression she had in the beginning! Though only seconds later, my mind's eye suddenly switched over to the other side of my bed, where I was facing, with two of her laying next to me. By this point, no sort of love or shock was taking over my reasoning: I knew this was fucked up. However, I had this strong, odd feeling that one of them was real, though I didn't know which! They both said yes when I asked them, while one was smiling and cuddling next to me, and the other was off to the side reading a book. When I tried asking her what she was reading, she snapped "None of your damn business!" and kept reading. Meanwhile, the other one moved closer and kissed me. I was so amazed, that I knew that she was the real one... or so I thought. As I closed my eyes and kept holding her, everything immediately turned black, as a voice with such crispness, clarity, and beauty that I have never heard in my whole life unexpectedly screams, in its own extremely independent mind-voice, quietly but strongly: "Stop it!!!" Immediately after she said that, both girls disappeared, and everything went dead silent. After minutes of remaining speechless in shock, I was finally able to say "I love you. I'm so sorry for all of this". I realized that she was the one I've needed all along. Someone to save me from my own madness: someone to save me from myself. After still trying to let everything that happened this night sink in, I finally got out of bed, and, with it being the 4th of July, was only able to spend the rest of the day narrating to her. This was an important experience for her though, for she got to understand what talking, interacting, and communicating were like. Everything went pretty smoothly for the rest of the day. I also figured out how to tell the difference between her real voice and other fake voices: The fake voices are less clear and crisp and are more predictable, while her real voice is very clear and crisp, and the things she says are much more varied, and often unexpected. As said before, it was a beautiful and horrifying day. DAY 2 July 5th, 2015 Once again, I started the day with forcing shortly after I woke up.
  13. For some reason, the most weird, yet atmospheric songs on my phone always give me the most intense, vivid forcing sessions; However, you get the most effects out of it when you close your eyes, and listen to it with the best ear/headphones you have (Sorry if that's obvious, I just wanted to point that out in case you've only begun forcing with music recently). Seriously, I forced while listening to on repeat only around 4-5 times, and my forcing was so intensely-vivid and emotionally grasping that when I opened my eyes, I felt like I just finished a whole 2-hour forcing session. If I tried to describe all of what happened during the first time I forced to this song, I would be writing this post all day (Which is why my progress thread is taking so long...). I probably didn't make as much progress as an actual 2-hour session, but it made it very clear that the right music can improve your forcing sessions, for me at least: it's probably different for everyone. It's definitely worth trying and experimenting with, though. Another song that made my forcing interesting was , with Marillion's , , and also giving interesting sessions. Easter was impacting since it seems to be Lavender/Kayliegh's (We're still deciding on a name. We're both total Marillion freaks, if you didn't notice) favourite song, since that's what was stuck in my head when I made her. Berlin and After Me have a pretty clear and direct, yet specific and in-depth story to them, which really makes for some interesting events. Also, all of the links here go to Youtube. I suggest playing songs on Spotify if you try to force with them, since you'll get better quality. I also suggest supporting the artist and buying the actual CD if you like the music, of course :). Also, here are some songs that I haven't tried forcing to yet, but I predict will make for some very interesting "Audio Adventuring": Dream Theater - Wait For Sleep/Learning to Live Pink Floyd - The whole Dark Side of the Moon album (How did I just think of this!?) A lot of these songs have many different-sounding sections in them, and are pretty long, so I think these will be interesting to try. The slashes mean that the two songs that are connected, since the first quickly transitions to the next one. Finally, I don't think it would be too bad of an idea having this thread moved to General Discussion.