NovaIce

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About NovaIce

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  1. Can't a Tulpa move on his own sometimes? Or is it almost required? I'm guessing for some it's necessary? ~NovaIce
  2. Hey Luna, Keep in mind it took me three years myself to reach where I am today. Don't give up! ~NovaIce
  3. I know when creating a Tulpa, we are used to hallucinations and what have you, but when you start to adjust to your Tulpa. Is it common they start to feel "real"? Is this the hallucination or is this common? It this another way to make/have their presence known? Like for example, I have been using white noise, like what you would hear from a TV to help concentrate, but when visualizing. It's now gotten to the point that if I stare or see my Tulpa... my brain believes I can actually reach out and touch, feel. As if he's there. He doesn't talk or speak to my head, but I can see him watching me. Anticipating my next move. At least that's what I think he's doing.... Is this a common side effect? ~NovaIce
  4. It's fine if I don't have to talk about it. I just had a strange encounter with my Tulpa, but I can or should treat it like any other relationship I suppose... ~NovaIce
  5. Would it be okay to speak or explain about anything related to "sex" regarding your Tulpa? I didn't want to speak of anything in public seeing it's often "shamed" in this community. So where exactly does everyone stand regarding this? I don't wish to make a fool of myself. ~NovaIce
  6. June 16th into the 17th, 2015 With my first official challenge regarding the visualization of Evan pushes the necessary limits. This doesn't stop me from thinking of him, unknowing that I was doing a passive force all day yesterday. By using an old Metal Gear Solid Bandana I got exclusively with Peacewalker years back, I knew I could use it to project Evan's energy through or assisting with his visualization knowing I wouldn't be able to actively force. Passive forcing isn't unusual by several standards and experiences. Offering and talking to Evan to tag along, he was able to communicate with the usual head pressure to the left side. Heading to a movie with my aunt, finally seeing the second Avengers movie, (which I know he watched and enjoyed because he kept pushing on my head hahaha) or just traveling with me as necessary when walking to get errands done (I prefer it over driving sometimes if the place is close). Evan finally got passed his stage calling me "Mom" seeing that he may use it as a nickname and not as an actual name. I think he has an admiration for Big Boss, but at the same time, he was capable of awakening an emotion with me. Something I hadn't felt since around 2009. So after crying and him giving me the butterflies in my stomach (because I think it was more than my gut feeling), I kicked myself for doubting him. It takes guts to do what Evan did. So I didn't only draw him once, but twice. So I had officially created a decent headshot for him. (Eye color not included seeing that he hasn't decided.) I think that about covers it for this round. It's as if I thought there was no progress when indeed there was... For some reason, I am strangely thankful.... ~NovaIce
  7. Evan's first official headshot is complete! I still use the formula of Big Boss, but in this one he looks like Aragorn with his hair pulled back. Hahaha I like it! ~NovaIce
  8. I know it's a weird conception, but can they give you butterflies in your stomach? I heard of how they can interact with you through head pressure or they can sense you talking of them. But what of that gut feeling in your stomach? I received my gut feeling while drawing out another picture of my Tulpa in my head. Is this possible? Just another sign they know you're thinking of them? It's just out of curiosity. Like I was doing the right thing or something along those lines. ~NovaIce
  9. A little about myself, maybe you can understand where I stand... I was always told "I can't" all my life, by my family and my mom hated my active imagination so much she did anything and everything to stop me as I grew up. As a teen, she took away my video games and writings even sent me to a psychiatrist thinking that having an "imaginary friend" or even "roleplay" was some sort of sin. Ten years later, they believe they still have control over me, which I broke free from a few years ago. Those, like myself. Will still judge. Believing that I need to "grow up", but they don't experience what I have, so I continue to shut out whatever negative thoughts they may have. So you can see why it's hard for me to work past such things... For the record, I have dealt with many fields of metaphysical that my Family has a hard time to believe. They call it active imagination. I know it and experience it as Astral Travel, Studies of Time Travel, if Dimensional Jumping is Possible, Alternate Realities and Recently- Tulpa Forming. I am a woman of science, not of magical thinking. I work on proof. Evidence of what I experience myself or stories of those that I know they are speaking of truth.
  10. I feel as though I have been battling a week to believe in my Tulpa. It's not that I can't sense him, smell him, hear him talk, but now... I am sure someone here has been where I am now. "Hearing voices and out of instinct my mind is screaming: This isn't logical! You're creating an alternate personality! You live alone, you start hearing the voices and here's where it got you. You're snapping!" "You created Evan. He's not an "extension" of you. He's just a part of you that you don't want to face!" Others are starting to catch on to my behavior. Those I know or those that know me now see that I need "help". That I need to take meds... Any conversation I have been having with anyone has been like this: "He's real, but a part of me. He's to become my lifelong companion." "Evan isn't real. You need help. He doesn't exist." Constant back and forth. But I need help. How do I work past this stage? How can I break the barriers and accept Evan (though I know he is a part of me) that he isn't some alternate personality out of some spiteful moment? That I'm not insane? Did you too go through such a stage? How do I say to myself that creating such a being is "okay"? ~NovaIce
  11. You both can follow his progress here: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-venom-of-the-snake If you want. I remember like the first or second day his request was that I keep a journal. In which I am. One I am writing and another I post on here in case I need to keep track or lose the one written. ~NovaIce
  12. June 13th 2015 Yesterday was unexpected after I implied Evan take the day off. He ran off because as many know Snake had threatened him. Which isn't what I normally expect from Astral Beings seeing they are often thoughtforms/tulpas themselves. Snake is no exception! You can read it all about here and the strain I was frightened with to get Evan back (thinking I lost him for good): https://community.tulpa.info/thread-misc-my-tulpa-evan-was-bullied-to-leave After several hours all day and focusing on him (even drawing a picture of him out of my own restlessness (it's nothing special yet, just a basic concept so I know what I am to draw out fully), he came back when I was resting for an hour. My body just wanted the nap after the hardships. First thing I did before I visualize myself in a beautiful place... I thought that directing him to a friend of mine that needed help would help him find his way home. I didn't get any feedback, so I did step two. Focusing any offsetting attention or passive forcing on Evan. Even making this in the progress: Next thing I know, while I rested or seemed to be dreaming... I felt a presence. I didn't know if it was exactly him, but his scent indicated as much. I had immediately perked up. I was so emotional, we stayed there overlooking the sea. Talked about sappy things and progress. I even told him that him coming back after how Snake treated him was grand characteristics. I was happy again and he said he never wanted to hear that I cried or got upset over him again. It was good to connect with him. Seeing he is my first thoughtform or being I ever created unlike those I made in the Astral. I think... from this I was able to make his first place of solitude. Which is great seeing now he has a place to build himself for a place to call "wonderland" or more direct for him "home". Seeing there was a 24 hour place open to grab food just down the street, I threw at Evan that he could tag along. He mentioned things I wanted for quite sometime as we reconnected. Him applying pressure to his favored left side of my body. This was anything to my hair, shoulder or just the back of my head. We laughed and talked and messed around all during that time as no one is often up at this hour. Though as we continue to reconnect, I can't help to feel as though my connection with Evan is stronger than ever seeing it's not so stressful or maybe we're just happy to be together again. Either way, if we were able to overcome this obstacle, I am willing to see this through if he is during his life (and my) life journey. Welcome Home, Evan! I missed you <3 ~NovaIce
  13. It's a common reaction. Some Tuppers connect differently than others. You'll be fine. Just the steps may be varied. ~NovaIce
  14. Ahhh. I remember those days from other Thoughtforms/Tulpas contacting me when I was a teen. It takes time to adjust to, but after awhile it will sound like whispers. Just give it time! Your body is just developing and adapting to change. ~NovaIce