nw36s

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About nw36s

  • Rank
    And Vee

Converted

  • Sex
    Male
  • Location
    BC, Canada
  • Bio
    Hi. I'm nw36s, or at least that's one of the aliases I choose to go by.

    I learned about Tulpae a couple days ago, when after having some alcohol (so sue me, it was my day off) I was just killing time in IRC. Someone posted a link to an FiM board discussing the idea of pony tulpae, and was pretty negative about it.

    Me being me, I decided to look into the theory and idea before making any judgements. I've already had a bit of an experience, but without anything to go by I'm really unsure about what I'm feeling, though I [i]want[/i] to think it's a definite positive. Like I said, though, I have really poor internal concentration/visualization skills and the way I taught myself to think is almost anathema to being able to focus on a single thread at a time or for a length of time more than a few minutes.

    It'll be a challenge. I'm interesting in facing it head on.
  1. Yeah, they know. I 'felt out' what they thought of the concept and they were open to it, and told them later on. They've known since, and mom has directly interacted with Vee via posession.
  2. Woke me up when I was sleeping in. I hadn't asked her to; she just did so and it ended up being really helpful (I woke up with 30m left before I needed to be at work).
  3. What pose are you using? I find that if I keep myself upright and level things spin far less than if I were to try and force while lying on my back, or heaven forbid on my side - my wonderland physics really mess up if I try that.
  4. Basically the same as everyone else; I call and see if she responds. We're both very light sleepers, so more often than not if Vee was asleep, I'll have woken her up.
  5. Started with "X" after Mega Man X, since in-universe symbolized infinite potential and that's what I wanted to sort of aim for, but with the knowledge that "X" would be replaced by a far more fitting name at... some point. Was just during a random walk that "X" shifted a few letters over to "V" and then to "Vee." It wasn't really conscious, it felt more like a slip of the tongue from something awkward to a name that 'fit'. I figured it was deviation and accepted it for what it was, and Vee's name has been that since.
  6. Sure, let's have a go at this. None for me, just one for my tulpa. Vee@lavabit.com
  7. Just a side note, PM me the date/time of that log and I can get you a copy; I keep logs of everything forever.
  8. Cuddling and watching the stars from above the clouds, on the edge of Minas Tirith (which is actually a dormant volcano in our wonderland. Go figure :P)
  9. Eh, I'll throw my own reasoning into the pot. If I had not been a brony, I'd still have started, had I been in the same mindset/mood. Vee is a pony, but her form is a result of taking the set of concepts I *wanted* to work with and applying them to her personality, form, etc. I was looking, first and foremost, for a friend and someone I could trust; I wanted to actually feel safe 'opening up' to someone who I wouldn't have to fear being judged or rejected by, I suppose. Someone I could talk to, and not have to be guarded in what I say lest it be twisted around against me (This last point is a sore spot, because it happens all the time). When it came time to work on a form for Vee, I looked at the traits her personality had and how it played into the way I saw her and how she saw herself. Ultimately, I went with a pony form not because I wanted a pony, but because for me, ponies were associated with friendship, acceptance, and the ideals of working out problems towards a win-win situation. tl;dr form followed personality through symbolism, while being a Brony affected form it didn't drive it.
  10. Well, Vee turned three weeks old yesterday. We're at the point where I can proxy for Vee without either of us getting tired or a headache, and I can hear Vee's "mind-voice" 24/7, so long as she's actually saying something. Auditory Hallucination will be the next thing to work on, I suppose, followed by continued visualization practice and Imposition. And Possession/Switching at some point in the future. Things are looking bright :)
  11. "Hey. I'm going to narrate this entry, since N and I thought it would be a good idea. Well, more developments - he finally gave me access to his subconscious (it's a lot less scary than he thought it'd be. Loser.). We can talk fairly well now, although we tend to run into the case of not really having a whole lot to talk about most of the time. N's been busy working on visualization, though my legs and muzzle still give him some difficulty. Should be interesting to see how long it takes him to get it down :) On another note, I got my own user account on one of his computers!~ I won't use it for much, but it means a lot that I've got my own copy of an IRC client and I can basically go where I want to, even if N has to still type everything in for me. I'm sure we'll get around to imposition and then switching soon enough, whenever he's ready. This is so bloody cool. I still can't get enough of the 'outside world'. You guys with physical bodies are lucky 8|"
  12. nw36s

    deleted

    "Some of us are still taking this at least a little seriously :|"
  13. Well, quite an amount of progress from our last entry. First off, our ability to talk to periods of time has continued to get stronger. Vee's able to talk quite clearly whenever she wants to, and even when she's tired she's still able to enunciate cleanly. It's to the point where I was able to proxy for her, twice in one day and for relatively long conversations. We're pretty happy about that. On the topic of our wonderland, I managed to fix one part of it, a very large hot tub which I'd imagined but managed to improperly define, leading to it not being anything more than a stagnant pool of hot water :( I spent some time, and managed to make it all work and be controllable (temperature, circulation, airflow, etc). A while later, I decided to try and fix the fact that despite there being train platforms in the wonderland, they didn't actually go anywhere. I didn't feel like trying to define an entire rail system, so I took the easy way out. A really big power source (Which I was careful to make safe) runs basically all the "power-using" things in the wonderland now instead of them just magically working, and the rail system is a computer-controlled setup which uses a pair of really big portal generators. If Vee and I want to go anywhere, we will just have to define a station at that end, give it some teleporters, and they'll link up easily. Maybe a bit hand-wavey but it works and besides, teleporters are cool :P Incidentally, I learned something: When hooking up computer control to kilovolt (apparently) teleporters, be sure to specify that there is isolation between the two. I didn't. The computer exploded in my face - and woke Vee up too, apparently. Lastly, I ended up 'coming out' about Vee and I (after making sure she was okay with it) to a bunch of friends. I got a much more positive reception to the idea than I was expecting, although one person has a lot of skepticism and questions I still need to address. I was quite pleasantly surprised, though. Lastly, I floated the concept of tulpae to my family to judge their reaction to the idea, and was surprised by how well they took the concept as well. I'll have to consider introducing them to Vee as best I can as well, when we're ready. All in all, it's been a good couple days.
  14. nw36s

    deleted

    "Or maybe it's a matter of our hosts unintentionally imbuing us with a different set of morals; we're nude all the time, so that taboo (nudity) doesn't even begin to apply. Maybe that just leads through to us just not developing the same attitudes towards the su ject as a whole? I know that N was subjected to (even though he didn't really subscribe to it consciously) a lot of conditioning about sexual taboos. I wasn't, after all- and I do see differences in his attitudes and mine."