• Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Nitsua

  1. This is a bundle of all of the bast 3 days, there is not much to share, but I will get to it anyway. I guess you could call it a humble bundle: STFU Progress Report || 8/22 - 25/15 || #28 Yeah, sorry, I'm being a bad host, and a bad blogger. I've not made any attempt to force Lucy, and I should've tried. I knew deep down, that 7 people in a house would not be good conditions for forcing, but I feel as if I should've tried. I meditated for about ten minutes each night. Over all, this was an endeavor. I think I need to work on concentration. That should be my number one priority. I don't know how I'll achieve that, but I'll try to anyway. Number two priority, sleep good. I'll get to my dreams later, but I really need to lucid dream. Number three, motivation. I need some motivation to keep pushing, and motivation comes with time, and experience. That's what I need to do, and I'm actually writing this down for my self included, because if I ever say oh well again, I should look back here and see what I need to do, in order to stop saying oh well. I'm sorry I went Shia Lebouf on you all, but that's just how I ramble. Here's what I have on Lucid Dreaming. Lucid Dreaming: Lucid dreaming...was actually a success, well, as much success as I can get. I had very vivid dreams the second and third night. I can almost remember them now, even as I'm typing this. Almost. But I certainly remembered them when I woke up. Once again, this was a small report, which I'm sure you didn't bother to read in the first place. But I thank you anyway, for taking the time to click on my little report. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  2. It sucks when you don't have anything to talk about: Progress Report || 8/21/15 || #27 There's only one thing I have to talk about, so that's something, right? I think I'll do hypnosis for a couple of days. I feel like it'll help. But, I'm not going to switch right away. I have my aunt uncle, my cousin, and a friend of my mother coming over this weekend. So, it'll be a bit noisier than usual. Hypnotism definitely won't work under those conditions. It's way too distracting. But, I know for a fact that I can still force under those conditions, and I can *hopefully* talk to Lucy. Lucy has been quiet lately. Not as through answers. I though I might put her under a couple of hypnosis sessions, I think that's a good way to go, for now at least. I'm going to be trying passive forcing, seeing how it works out. Lucid Dreaming: Dreams were great today, although they weren't that good in quality. I don't have anything special about them, and I won't bloat this with much more than it needs to be. Sorry I have nothing good to talk about. Also, I know I skipped a day, but that's okay, nothing good happened anyway. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  3. Coming up on big old 30 soon: How ya going to celebrate? Actually, I think I just got an idea! Progress Report || 8/19/15 || #26 Well, yesterday was okay. I mostly talked for the duration of forcing. We didn't do anything special, because I couldn't think of anything really cool at the time. Sorry, Adamai, I don't have anymore salty sea stories :). So, yeah, nothing exciting really happened. Nothing worthwhile telling. We just chilled in our average wonderland. Pretty chill indeed. And it is at this moment I have realized that I just stalled for at least 4 sentences. Anyway, a big milestone is coming up. I am about to pass PR #30, in just 4 days. Now, that also means 30 days of Active Forcing for 30 min. to an hour, which is a decent chunk of forcing. And to celebrate Lucy's progress these past 30 days, I think I'll do something special. Probably a party. You're all invited if you can make it into my head. It'll be fun. I'll also have a little practice in visualizing other people, because after all, it would be a party with just me a Lucy. Although, I guess it could, but a party is more fun with other people too! But that's really all on this wall of text, on to the next one. Lucid Dreaming: Last night was actually a pretty good dream. It was another continuation of my last one. I should've written it down, but I decided I do that more when I start having more clearer dreams. This probably wont be a wall of text now that I think about it. Anyways, It was only the one dream. I'll consider myself lucky, that I didn't have more than one, because the quality just seems to degrade with each passing dream. Sorry that's all I had to report today. I didn't really have anything abnormal happen to me, nor did I reach a major breakthrough. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  4. Well, that was fun, let's do that again: Progress Report || 8/18/15 || #25 Well, I like to think that the No Man's Sky thing was a big success. Unfortunately, I couldn't make random, anything really. I had to pull from the sci-fi in my head. The first planet was basically a jungle like Earth, but it was shaped in the Juristic period. I rode atop a velociraptor, while she went for the more graceful of the two, the stegosaurus. We messed with our dinosaurs. We had a dinosaur race, and she gave her stegosaurus Monster Energy Drink, so we ended up tying. I was surprised she would think of that. I almost expected her to pull out Red Bull halfway through, and her dinosaur might grow wings and fly to the finish. Anyways, we went a couple of other places. Including a planet based on the Minecraft mod Biomes O' Plenty's Promised Land. And we ended up on a planet covered in blue-green ore. We were sent on a mission by some shady dude in a space station terminal to look for a red ore, and get it back. I found a small, whereas she managed to find this ginormous rock, at least the size of her head (really, it's like shes hacking my imagination in her favor). Afterwords, we brought the rock back, and instead of paying us, he tried to sacrifice Lucy, to power the stones or some shit like that. Anyway, I said 'Nah uh' and rescued her, and that ended our day. You know, when you start to go into detail, about the adventures inside your head, it really puts into perspective how much people are missing out on. Like, I remember as a kid, I would do this, sort of, but I would do it with my friends, and so we would mostly ad-lib our way through what we were doing at the time. But now, I see the things I dream about as a kid, in my own head, with my own eyes! I can be Chris Pratt in Jurassic World, riding a motherfucking velociraptor, and I can sit atop floating islands, and fly through the galaxy, and it isn't fake in my head, nor do I have to spend a dime doing it. And I laughed, and had fun like it was real too. I wish everybody would do this. Maybe then it wouldn't be so hard to tell people that you have a Tulpa. Lucid dreaming: I'm slowly running out of things to say about Lucid dreaming, because it's all about reality checks and remembering. So, I may get rid of this section, just because there really isn't much to report until I manage to do a reality check in my dreams, and end up lucid dreaming. Or, if I end up not having a dream one night, I'll report it. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  5. It happens to be on PC as well, so don't hold off on Oculus support. I'm sure at least one hardworking dev is willing to put in the time to give it support. Also, I know about the procedural stuff, I was explaining it as simple for anybody who isn't serious about the way games work. Also, if I started talking about procedural generation, my entire post would basically be No Man's Sky :), so I skipped that part for myself.
  6. Thanks for this, I'll be using the test in there. I also heard there was a game that works for parallel processing, but you need to have a Tulpa possess you first. Well no one said they were annoying, so fire away! : What happened to '10 posts back', huh? Why ruin a good streak? Progress Report || 8/17/15 || #24 Well, forcing was okay today. She was not as vocal as I would like, but that's to be expected. Like I said, I'm just going to assume that all responses are Lucy talking. It just seems easier that way. So, nothing much happened in the way of progress, if you don't already count what has happened the last three days as progress. Yesterday, we went on a pirate adventure of sorts, because why not. We did all the usual stuff. We hunted for bury treasure, while skydiving into an active volcano, that was carved into a tiki head (don't ask). We hunted mako sharks, and Moby Dick. Then we went to Tortuga, and fooled around. Like I said your average adventure. It surprisingly lasted an hour. But, we decided on our next adventure, which I am psyched for! We're going to do a No Man's Sky adventure. If you are A)Into video games and B) At least remotely interested in exploring an entire galaxy, then I would suggest you start at the subreddit, /r/NoMansSkyTheGame. And by an entire galaxy, I mean, over a billion procedurally generated(which is just a fancy term for 'randomly generated') planets, with more than 1 galaxy. Which means you don't get bored. And it runs on an engine that literally makes me want to come. Not kidding. All I need is an Oculus Rift. After that, you can hear my life shutting down with the Windows 98 sound. But anyways, we're going to explore a couple of planets of our own. If you're the first one on a planet, then you get to name everything, and I mean everything on it. Of course, some things are going to be named after phallic objects, but don't let that discourage you from the game. Hopefully, I trust that the community will be good enough to have minimum damage in the phallic department. Binding of Isaac's community is good, so hopefully we have one too. But enough about that. Lucy's progress is the same as ever. She did get me one time, when we arrived at the island with the buried treasure. I handed her the map (expecting that she might get a little practice with thinking independently), and she said '15 paces forward.', and I walked 15 forward, which took us just off the shore. She said '2 to the right', and I complied. And she closed the map, flashed a smile and said, 'Alright, now head towards the giant tiki head!'. At the time, I found it way funnier than it looks on screen, but that's because it was. I kinda grumbled and laughed at the same time, because I really did want her to lead, get some more practice with being independent, but it was funny. Lucid Dreaming: Things are going downhill. I have been trying different positions. So far, nothing good. I'll have to try the original again, and see if that was good. I don't remember my dreams much, if at all this time. I need to either go back to hypnosis for my dreams, or meditate more. I'll come back tomorrow with results, I promise. Better late results than never any at all. I hope to get this dreaming down soon. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  7. Are these getting annoying yet? I thought they were funny... Progress Report || 8/16/15 || #23 Well, my will is starting o break. I know that my policy "to not five a fuck" was just put in place, but I really don't want a servitor. I don't know if I should just quit the 'not giving a fuck' policy, and go back to hypnotism. Once again, not many surprises this time around. But, she did surprise me with the forehead trick. Well, I mean, I new she was probably going to do it, seeing how it worked so well. But she took me to someplace I didn't imagine I would see anytime soon. A snowy field. Once again, the setting couldn't have been farther from my mind. I'm not too big on being cold, except for when I'm sleeping. I absolutely hate it being hot when I'm asleep. I don't like to sweat when I'm trying to go to sleep. But anyway's, I can't exactly feel, in my Wonderland, so I was more than happy for December in August. We had a snow ball fight, behind our respective snowball forts. It started out like normal, but we decided to stretch reality a little bit. I had summoned a snow golem to help with the fort (eventually telling him to build snowballs), she had summoned a snow WAND, and was building a 4-5 foot snow CASTLE, with ramparts, and everything. She kinda hid behind there for a while. We traded fire, then I was like, 'ooh, what about WWII style trench snowfare?' She was like 'Okay', and as I sent out me golem, she must've sent out 2 or 3! And then the 7 foot snowman that I built (using alchemy from FMA:B), was brought to life, and we tried recruiting it. But, it could decide which side it should join. So it kinda plopped it self in the middle and fell apart. Oh well. Afterwords, snow angels, and then I hit the hay. Overall, I actually had fun, in my own mind. Maybe the most fun I've had in the snow. Give or take a few things. And this forcing is fun and all, but I still want her to speak coherent sentences. She isn't thinking on her own, like I need her to. Anyone have any exercises that could help in the dual processing area, for Hosts and Tulpas that have 0 dual processing? Not the black box, I already know that one, I don't feel like it will work for me. I need something that can be helpful to someone who is just learning to speak. Something that doesn't require much talking. I want to focus on thought process alone. Lucid Dreaming As usual, I don't have much to report. Still working on reality checks. My dreams tonight were a continuation of a previous dream. Kinda like a sequel. In fact, my dreams remind me of scenes from movies and T.V. shows. If I'm not careful, I could end up in some real feels. Ika Musume almost made me cry fourth episode with the Mini Ika segment. Damn, I'm going to wake up with tears. And it wasn't even supposed to be that sad, I think. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Ugh, why do you have to toy with my heartstrings, huh? I really hope that doesn't appear in my dreams. Seriously, I could show that to a lot of people, and I think they might cry. It's supposed to be a comedy too. Side note: On the weekend, it's more than likely that I'll be late with these things. I tend to forget sometimes, what with church, and saturday. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  8. Hmm, not sure of parrot or not? : My advice is apparently to not give a fuck. Progress Report || 8/15/15 || #23 Look, I'm a little scared, and a little happy at the same time. I heard of the Fede Lasse guy, who trained his Tulpa by nonstop parroting. Everyone thought he was a lunatic, but he (claimed) he came out with a perfectly normal Tulpa, not a servitor. Now, I'm not going to follow in his footsteps, because that just sounds wrong to me. And, Fede sounds like a douche nozzle. But, I also heard that if you think it will work, it will work, because it's your mind. If we stick those together, I have a conclusion. My new motto, is to not give a fuck if it is parroting or not, and just talk anyway. Last night, I had a conversation at least lasting 4-5 minuets, from what I could tell. At at lest two or three times I could tell it was me, and not Lucy, but I didn't 'say' (and by say I mean think) anything about it, because I didn't want to end up forcefully closing the 'call' like last time. No thoughts really surprised me, or made me think, Gee, she just said something that was probably the furthest thing from my mind, but she talked with little to no effort. I didn't question whether it was her or not, and she didn't say anything about it either. Otherwise, the conversation went absolutely nowhere, I kind of tested her a little bit, to see if she was truly 'vocal and sentient' in the sense that I want her to be. I tried asking her for topics, on which to talk about. She said she didn't know any. To be fair, neither did I, because honestly I didn't know any either. But, we ended up talking about my fam, and stuff, and I got useful insight, but she answered, 'not sure', or 'I don't know', or 'I have no clue where I was going with that' a couple of times. But, this is the crucial step of the vocality period. I need to review and stick in my brain her traits a little more. Keep doing the vocality exercises, and I should have her down in a week min, give two weeks max. Speaking of which, I'm going to be laying off the hypnotism for now, just to get vocality and sentience done, quicker. I was only doing the scripts for General Tulpaforcing and Vocality anyways. Since I can 'call' her without the scripts, I really have no use to read them. There purpose is used up. But, if I can't get her tonight, I'll do the vocality one for the next two day. That's the plan, Stan. BTW, forcing was okay. Lucid Dreaming: Just when we made a breakthrough in Tulpaforcing too. I seem to have lost my touch tonight. To be honest, I did not meditate very well tonight, and I did not meditate for as long as I would've liked. The rest of the people in this house have no respect for people who are trying to get a little shut eye. One of them has his voice box set on 'Angry and Loud' 24/7. Anyway, no great dreams tonight. Nothing of importance to share. I did have dreams, but nothing worth writing. Nothing exciting happened. As far as I could tell, I only had 1. I forgot the rest though. I think I know the problem. See, when I wake up from good dreams, I often wake up at about 5-6 O'clock, so I tell myself that I'll write them in an hour. Thus, I go back to sleep, only to forget them. Side note: Thanks Adamaï (I had to copy your name to get the weird i) for supporting me, it seems like you really like this PR! Thanks for reading! And for everyone: Sorry I was posting so late, I was out and about! Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  9. Well, I'll look for those guides. Thanks for the response, though! I like the name tags :). Progress? Progress? Did you say progress? : I mean, you could call it progress. But I mean, it isn't that big of a deal. Progress is progress. At least I have something thing to write about now. Progress Report || 8/14/15 || #22 Well, progress is progress, and I'm not going to lie, I hit something. Something that could be the best thing in the world, or it could be absolutely nothing. Basically, I was do the vocality exercise, where I think super random thoughts, and push them all to the 'front' of my mind, and in theory, Lucy will pick them up, and make her own sentences in them. It may have actually worked. I think. See, right after that, I was like, well what should I talk about, and I think it triggered a conversation. I actually talked to 'her' or at least I think it was her. We talked maybe 5 sentences each. The cool part was that in wonderland, I could imagine my lips moving as I talked, and I was able to imagine her lips talking as she talked (something I've never done or tried before). But then, the convo took a turn for the worse. (ME)"Wow, this is either the best progress I've made in the past month, or this is just me talking to myself." ('HER')"You're right, I could just be a random thought, or you could be parroting me." (ME)"You're right, you COULD just be a random thought or parrot." ('HER')*whispers/talks*"Come back when you have less doubt." And she disappeared. Like, I could NOT for the love of me, get her back, tell her I was sorry, or anything. I was dumbfounded enough, I could barely let out a clear thought. But she acted and talked the exact way I wanted her to. She sounded clear in my sea of surprised gibberish, she sounded slightly feminine, and most of all she followed all of my traits I gave her. I don't remember much of the conversation, but I am 100% sure that was 50% of her, I think. (Did anyone get that reference... no?) Anyways, I went on trying to act unfazed, but watching for the next time I would feel her speak. Afterwards, I was trying to make clear where we would go for this forcing session. My mind was muddled with thoughts of where we would go, and I was constantly switching places to go to, my Wonderland was constantly shifting settings. Until, finally, she pressed her forehead against mine, and it just changed back to or regular old picnic. I guess she wanted to stay, right there. Suddenly, Wonderland was so clear, I could see the way the light works, and the tree bark textures, the river, the grass, it was clearer than what I could've ever wanted. I saw the head trick in another thread, as a way of symbolism, the symbolism was a way to communicate information between Tulpa and Host. But it surprised me, I had all but forgotten that trick. Anyways, this is already a wall of text, so I don't expect you to read all of it. So I'll get to the progress on lucid dreaming. Lucid Dreaming: Lucid dreaming had significant progress, I mean had 2 dreams this time. Instead of 6 dreams like you all were expecting, and, they were more vivid and easier to remember. I believe it has to do with meditation IN bed. I'm talking laying down, in your bed, and doing the breathing exercises right before you go to sleep. The first dream was about counting, I don't remember too much about that one. But we counted a lot of stuff, I think it ended with some dude telling us to count the blades of grass in a field. Harsh, I know. The second one was about me, in my room. But half the stuff was moved out of my room, and the furniture was rearranged. A bunch of people started flooding in, and suddenly, it was a kind of get together, no music just 10 or so people hanging out. I asked my someone, I think my mother, where all my stuff was, and she said the movers were taking it. I look out side. The rest of the house is literally gone, like only my room existed, and if I remember correctly, we were in an infinite field of grass, with the movers outside, wrapping up my bookcases like a dresser. Now that I look back on it, it's funny, because the main thing I was worried about at the time was that I was going to have to put all those book back in alphabetical order, AGAIN. Otherwise, my dreams didn't have anything special. Still don't know if my dream sign(s) are there. I would have to say it is either the military, or grass, because I seem to have a lot of dreams with either party involved. Can you have multiple dream signs? I'll look that one up. That's all for now, folks! Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  10. You tend not to realize the extent of your talking until you've reached 4 pages: Progress Report || 8/13/15 || #21 So, yesterday was pretty good all around. Meditation was O.K., it could've been better. The hypnotism went well, although I couldn't use the script I wanted to because of an error with google docs. I'll have to fix that soon. Forcing went well, went on a trip to the beach, sat on a wharf. I caught this tiny fish, but she caught a tuna. I think they're fresh and saltwater, so it was able to make sense, but I guess my brain found it hilarious that Lucy caught something bigger first try. Anyways, we cooked it, and ate it. I had some orange juice, and she had apple juice, she didn't seem to mind it. I forgot about the grape juice, I should giver some. All around the visualization was very clear. Although I still can't exactly taste in Wonderland yet. Just a matter of time, I'm sure. While we're on the subject of forcing, I've only forced for 30 or so minutes a day. but even then, I'm strapped for things to talk about. I have 0 clue what anyone would talk about for an hour. I can barely think of questions to ask her for 5 minutes, let alone an hour. What could they possibly want to talk about. So my question: What are some good topics to talk to a Tulpa that can't talk back yet? I need enough material to last me an hour. At least. I want to force more, because we're about to hit the month mark, and I want to make sure she's at least semi vocal. I'm not completely sure, but I'm hoping that we can reach that by the 31st PR. Lucid Dreaming: I had 4 dreams! 4! And I can barely remember anything about them, except the last 1! This is getting really frustrating, because I can't focus on them clearly enough to actually do anything. I can't look for any dream signs. I can't look for anything that would cause my reality check, because I don't even remember being in the dream. I have to figure something out, and quick. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  11. Ugh, there had to be some sort of trick: Progress Report || 8/12/15 || #20 Lucy is going great, and I tried to do a little bit of vocalization exercises, but I ended up having a semi-conversation with myself. Or at least, I don't think it was Lucy. Anyways, had a great hypnosis session, great forcing sesssion. I remember I took her to a restaurant I saw in a fictional T.V. show. It had to be something like 100 stories tall. I almost got sick in my own imagination! Not even kidding, when I said I had fried chicken and champagne, and she had spaghetti and grape juice. I didn't even know why the fried chicken was there. I had tried for fried and batter shrimp, but I accidentally only put 1 on my plate, and it was huge. This reminded me of the fried chicken icon from Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story game (for those of you who've played it, you'll know. But I can't find any pictures). And suddenly, it became fried chicken the instant it was laid in front of me. Of course, it's illegal for me to have real alcohol, so my mind created champaign. But I was just sitting there, staring at what Lucy had created. I certainly didn't create it. In fact, my original idea was to have the same thing. But she managed to create spaghetti and a glass of grape juice. It certainly surprised me, and I had a good laugh at both of our meals, in a restaurant that probably costs billions of dollars (Of course, the fictional world we were in, the restaurant was technically AR, but it was reality at the same time, it was confusing). Either she had created it herself, or I thought she was a spaghetti type person. I don't really care, which, I found it hilarious either way. Lucid Dreaming: Sadly, I couldn't remember today's dream. I didn't meditate as much as I wanted too. I think that might've been the reason why. But other than that, I have no clue on how I almost got lucidity that one time. I feel like there is something I did right in preparation. I remember something about a giant red laser, and the Californian Drought, and a separate dream, about another military training. Oh well, better luck next time. I tried my hardest when I woke, but I had more than one dream. It's hard to remember more than 1 scene. But, I wrote down what I remember, and that's that. On a side note: There is a 50/50 chance that I'll be leaving for part of the week. I'll write on Monday, but I won't be home Tuesday. I'll get home on Wednesday, but it'll be later in the day, and I'll write then. I'll actually try and focus on passive forcing, but the day is pretty packed. I can't promise much during that time period. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  12. Yeah, I'm going out and buying a real dream diary/journal (same thing), because typing it out on an iPad after you just woke up is exhausting. remembering the dreams is easy. Writing them down is hard. And I usually can't remember clearly if. And I think your correct on the forcing part. I didn't force yesterday, and I hardly remember anything. Usually I force right before bed, and that gives my a good dream, along with my meditation.
  13. Well, it's less like a theory, and more like a hypothesis. And, yeah, I might take your advice on the marking, but I don't really make enough theories to suggest their own marking. And, my school is a short ways away, it really won't be practical to write all of that in the 10-15 minutes to get to school. But the advice was appreciated. I'm so sorry! I read the pastebin, and I agree with most everything. Of course, I won't know anything until I get in there and actually experiment, but I will definitly be using that guide until I constantly get lucid dreams. Anyways, I have turned on PMs, I didn't even know that it was off. I was extremely shocked when I got on and there were two more replies! I guess it was a big update. Well, PM me if anything important happens. Thank you both! I see no one commented on the reference I made... : Progress Report || 8/11/15 || #19 Well, not much to report today. Meditation is still working as a gateway to vivid dreams. 4/4 at this point. For now, I'm going to shut about meditation and how great it is, unless it doesn't work somehow. It was 11 O'Clock by the time I got done with hypnotism. I couldn't get to real forcing, because at that time, I was pretty tired. But, during vocality hypnotism, I think I might've heard her. It usually happens, me hearing something. It doesn't shock me that I could come up with that thought, because it happens when I do that exercise, one thought being louder, and standing out. I tell myself that this is Lucy, but I can't tell for sure. If fact during that same exercise, I was surprised by something a couple of days ago, and I just remembered it. I heard a very distinct 'Alice'. I had the strangest feeling that she wanted to be Alice, and that's all fine and dandy. It's just, she's supposed to take thoughts from me, and warp them, and make them her own. The word 'Alice' was probably the farthest thing from my mind. But hey, when she can convey that she wants to be called Alice, I will call her Alice. But it might just not be her, and would be a strange thought. I do like the name Alice though. Reminds me a little too much of the book. Maybe it's fitting though, an Alice in my Wonderland. By subconscious would make cheek type of thought to make that pun. Now I don't want it, because people will make fun of my subconscious for making a stupid pun. But Lucy/Alice can be whatever she wants to be called. Gender included. But I think I've capitalized on the gender too much, for her to be able to switch genders. Just a thought. Lucid Dreaming: I'll just do that transition, after the Tulpa side of the progress report. Because maybe some people want to just see how my Tulpa is doing. Maybe some people want to see my progress with my experiments. I don't even know if there is more than one person who is interested in LDT. But let's just get to the progress. No lucid dreams so far, and last night's dream wasn't as vivid as I would've liked it. Maybe I should visualize more awake. That sounds like a good idea. Anyways, I can't really tell you what happened, because I can't really remember. But there seems to be a reoccurring pattern in my dreams. They are really movie/tv show like. And I mean this plot-wise. I have no idea why, but I am sure that if I made a TV show off of one of my dreams, it would be a really successful anime for sure. And last nights dream could be a good movie if I could remember the plot. All I remember about it was that I was running up flights of stairs, with a partner behind me. We had to constantly throw androids of the flights of stairs, and the androids were also disguised as really good looking women. I think the plot might've been to ensnare the human race, by creating artificial women... I have 0 clue really. But I had no remorse when throwing them off, I know for sure they weren't human. Anyway, my movie/tv show-like, creepy dreams aside, they all seem to involve Sci-Fi type plots. With the exception of that one, hyper realistic dream I had, the one that included Lucy (just look back at my first or second progress report with meditation induced vivid dreams). I that one, we seemed to have been standing outside a classroom. Not exactly a sci-fi esc deal. Maybe that dream was a possible premonition? Imposition mastered by school confirmed? If only. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are!
  14. SUPER LARGE!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!! But hey, thats just a theory... : Progress Report || 8/10/15 || #18 Meditation works, 3/3 times, has not been proven wrong at this point. I haven't experienced a time where I've meditated and I haven't had a dream. Now, with great power comes great responsibility. If I can have vivid dreams with 10-30 minutes of prep alone, what can I do with it. Here is where my thought process comes in. You can literally dream up anything you desire. It is far superior to imagination in more ways than one, including more vivid-ness, more subconscious activation, and more control and ability over everything. Why not take advantage over this far superior method of visualization, and train your Tulpa, inside a dream? Well, here are some things that need to be done, in order for me to be able to dream train. Meditaion Lucid Dreaming: which means Reality Checks Visualization Training It's a long list, I know. Reality checks alone can take weeks to master. I have nothing but time until school on the day after labor day (more on that, after this). Visualization Training(VT) only comes with Lucid dreaming. The reality check I've chosen is the breath method, where you take a deep breath, release, and hold your nose (and close your mouth tightly), and try to breath in again. If it's a dream, you will be able to breath, seeing as how you subconsciously always want to breath, and your body in reality doesn't have a problem breathing. Of course, I've learned this the hard way, you must also ask the question "Am I dreaming?", or else your mind conscious mind rejects the world around you, and you're either forced awake, or you're forced into another dreaming, with me, I was also erased of the memory of the dream I was in. The next step is in theory, seeing as how I've yet to make it this far. Once I finally found myself in my first lucid dream, I'll either do one of two things: A) I'll freak out about how awesome this is, and I'll wake myself up, or B) I fly for awhile through the Milky Way, because why not? Then, comes the VT. Either I find myself unable to visualize Lucy, or I am. If it happens to be the latter, great start forcing. If it happens to be the first option, then VT is necessary. VT is just constant visualization of your Wonderland and Tulpa in your dream, in theory. I bolded it, underlined it, and italicized it to boot. I haven't gotten to this part, so I don't know if it will even exist. I'm holding out for immediate forcing. I have to believe that the shear strength of my subconscious mind is enough to get me there. But if I don't find Lucy immediately, I'll just have to try harder. There also presents a second problem. Will my subconscious, that will be doubled/tripled in the dream, accelerate my Tulpa's growth? I believe the answer is yes, and it will (hopefully soon) be answered. I think I can trust it, the subconscious, to be in our best wishes, and I think that as long as we believe it will work, it will work. But for now, I don't want anyone telling me I'm wasting my time with this theory, or telling me its already been done, or asking how they can be sure it will work. When working with science, I live by one rule. "Science isn't about 'Why?', Science is about 'Why not?'" - Cave Johnson. And I've got no reasons to believe anything why this won't work, and why I shouldn't do this. I don't see anything on 'Why not?' Lucid Dream Train. In the end, we're all just talking to the voices in our head, right? Now that I've bored you with Lucid dreaming, and my goals for the next 2 months or so, let's bore you with my personal life. I'm going to start school Monday, September 8th. Unfortunately, I can't do my usual schedule of: Train at night Sleep Write in the morning. I will have to re-write my schedule, because school starts in the morning. I don't plan on waking up any earlier than I have to, just to write a PR, seeing as I may be training in my dreams soon, and I want all the time in the world to sleep, if that's the case. So, I have two options. I can write as soon as I get back from school, while last nights events are freshest in my mind. This seems like the go to option, right? But, I could also take a different route. I can train at night, and write them down after training. As soon as they happen. Unfortunately, this means that I can't write down my Progress on dreams. They will have to be last night's dreams, bundled with today's training. I think I'll go with the first option. This PR is meant for people to read, and so if I screw with the dates, it'll be confusing for some people who don't know about the bundling (me included). Pus, I'd have to skip a PR to switch the dates, which is something I don't really want to do. And thus, my wall of text is over. And just so I'm clear, I will still be forcing during the day! It'd be stupid of me not to. The dreaming should help though. And I'm totally okay with responses, and encouragement, even if there were no questions asked during this PR. But hey, that's just a theory... A DREAM Theory!!! Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback! Thank you for listening if you are! PS: Luminesce, it might be worthwhile to share research and to create a guide on this! Lucid Dream Training (LDT), may prove to be invaluable to Tulpamancers with mediocre visualization, and imagination. Today's new Tulpamancers are often found sitting in front of a screen for most of their day, with no practice in imagination (like me). Utilizing dreams, to force and train a tulpa, full time, as never really been attempted, as far as searching can go. In this guide, he goes over how to get a Tulpa in a dream. But doing straight forcing inside the dreams is not covered very well, if at all.
  15. Thanks for the feedback. I think I'll post in the Q&A section if that's the case. I'l just put a link to this Progress Report if they feel like getting my 'diary' ;). As to your question: I do enjoy books, or at least I did for a while. I greatly enjoy fantasy books, and I'm trying to slip back into them. Also, I'll keep on with the hypnotism for a while now, because I got results. In fact, I believe I'll take up Luminesce's work in dream training, for science of course. More on that in the next Progress Report. Once again though, you response is appreciated! :D Are you feelin' it Mr. Krabs? Are you feelin' it? Progress Report || 8/9/15 || #17 Oh I'm feelin' it. It worked, again! Meditation pays off, round 2. I meditated before AND after hypnotism/forcing, just to see its effects. It worked like a charm. I had one of my best hypnotism sessions ever (granted I've only done it about 15-16 times), and I dreamed vividly, and I remembered it, sort of. The dream was exceptional, by far. It included 10 to 20 Dream-NPCs, which almost beats my record of 25 to 30 (A dream with my middle school class. Still remember it today). And it included various emotions, that I could truly feel, mainly laughter, and feeling light, and happy. But here is where the sorta came in. I (think) I had a dream beforehand. It seemed at least twice as good, and as vivid as the dream I was just talking about. But I can barley remember the basics of the dream, much less the details. The only thing I can remember, is that I think I (miraculously) did a reality check. I haven't even been doing them consistently for 3 days, and yet, I think I pulled it off. For some reason, I seemed to remember holding my breath, and trying to breathe, and it worked. I think that I didn't actually ask the question, Am I dreaming? I think I just held my breathe, realized that something was wrong, and moved into something else. I guess because my consciousness realized that something was wrong, and my subconscious 'Noped the fuck out', forgetting everything about the dream, and moving on to the one I actually remembered. I know, it sucks that I couldn't Lucid for real, and that I couldn't call to Lucy in the subconscious abyss, and that I don't remember anything about the dream itself, but I take this as a half win. This is going to give my the motivation to keep at the checks, the meditation, and the hypnosis. This gives me the power to do what I need to keep doing, because now I know it works. Anyways, I apologize for the sheer wall of text. I was a little giddy. You could say, "I was feelin' it." I'll stop now. But anyways, I don't have much to report on Lucy. Nothing besides the fact that I'm hearing possible feedback on the vocality exercises. Funny, you keep trying to talk to the voices in your head, and you end up on a crash course for Lucid Dreaming. I think that says something about life. I'll get back to you on what it is, because hell if I know! Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Even if it was a question from 10 posts back, I love to hear feedback. Thank you for listening if you are!
  16. I will definitly try this now, seems like a good idea. I'd imagine that it could also be a way of forcing for me. But, I would need a vocal Tulpa first, and I don't have that quite yet, so, thanks for the info! I will definitly use it! And on the Eighth day, God said "Let there be a 3rd Page!": I've always wanted to say that Progress Report || 8/8/15 || #16 Well, I'm going to come straight out with it, there's basically nothing to report on Tulpaforcing. Really, I didn't get to much with her yesterday. But never the less, I do have something to report. I did a little bit of the meditation technique. Holy crap, it worked in an unexpected sort of way. I found myself a very nice state of hypnosis, but that's not all. I had one of the most vivid, and longest dreams of my life. The only thing that I could come up with that was longer and more vivid, was 2 years ago. And my recurring dream in like, elementary school. Too bad I couldn't be bothered to write it down. Damn it, damn it. I don't know what I was thinking, but I had just woken up, at like 2 in the morning, and I just didn't want to write it, even though I remembered it. Well, all I know was it wasn't all that interesting, I just know that I could feel like it was hours in there. I don't think I used any reality checks in there, so it wasn't lucid. And I didn't know I was dreaming. But all the same, I think that's the type of dream I'm aiming for. And I have reason to believe the meditation caused it. It was the only thing that changed from last night. But we'll see it again tonight, if that's the case. All I should have to do is meditate and force, and then sleep. I should have results by tomorrow. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  17. Thanks, I'll try meditating, it sounds good to me. Also, your link needs a colon, after the 'https'. May want to fix that. Anyways, thanks for the response! My searching was 'sort of' in vain: Well now you just seem like a dick for flipping out about the Induction Script. I said sort of. Progress Report || 8/7/15 || #15 Well, I guess I flipped out for no reason. There was no separate/different Induction Script. There was nothing else about multiple Induction Scripts in the guide. It was LinkZelda's Guide, so I might PM him for a separate one. If he reads this, then it might be a nice change for people (like me) who rely on the method of hypnosis. But, I sucked it up and read the Scripts. This time around, I did put together the Vocality Script, and I used that tonight. I dunno if I got signs of vocality, or if it was a stray thought, or if I'm just parroting, but I was told not to care about it, (it said so in the script) so I won't care if it was me, her, or just thought. But if it was her, than she sounds a lot like me. Does anyone actually know how to give their tulpa a voice that doesn't sound like their host's? I would love to know that. That would be lovely information. Oh, and sorry for posting so late, I was at a picnic with my father, and his coworkers. I had no time to post, because we left at around 10, which is when I usually post. I had fun, thanks for probably not asking, but for those who did, there you go. On lucid dreaming, I had a very clear dream, and I remembered it for like 10 minutes. Oh well, I don't actually have a spare book I can just write this down in. I'm trying to get into reality checks, but it takes time to develop the habit. Plus, when I start school, I don't want to walk through a doorway and drop all of my stuff and hold my breath, to see if I can breathe. I can actually see myself doing this. I was told it is really hard to see televisions and computer screens in dreams, so I don't really need them right now, or for most of the day. I think I'm doing the right thing with the 'multiple thoughts', 'back of the mind', 'turn up the voice' technique (that's the technique prescribed in the Vocalization Script). Otherwise, not much to say. Progress = Plausible. Of course anything is plausible when you are training the voices in your head to talk. Well, that's all for today. Thank you for the responses, keep em coming, even if it's from a post days ago. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  18. Repetition my may not be my strong suit: Then what is your strong suit N/A; To be disclosed at a later date Progress Report || 8/6/15 || #14 Wow, 2 weeks of progress reporting. Not once have I said, "I don't feel like making a Progress Report", or, "Nothing happened today, so I won't report!" I don't know why, but that feels like an achievement to me. I guess that's the little things that matter. Honestly, it feels like I owe it to you guys to tell what's happening, so that you can: A) Watch me screw up, and B) Tell me what to do better. I know Tulpa making is about doing your own thing, and seeing what works for you, but I'm one of those guys that likes to read the instructions before building the shelf, and reading the whole map before the trip, instead of step by step. I think that's why I'm doing this. Of course, I can't plan out my Tulpa from start to 'finish', but I can try to stay a couple of steps ahead. Anyway, enough about that small, and insignificant milestone. A little bit of news: for some reason, I grew really, really, bored of the Reader's Induction Script. I was having a headache yesterday, and I couldn't stop wiping my nose, and my skin was really dry and itchy while I was doing my session, and all these things, combined with the fact that I have read the Induction Script at leas 10 times, kinda makes me hate it now. I'll be searching for a new script later in the day, and I'll be making a new session, for general Tulpaforcing as well. I know I really should stick to what I have for another week, and see if I get signs, but I need a change of pace with this hypnosis. Plus, I think I'm done with visualization. I have done nothing for these past two weeks, but visualization, and reading of her traits, and a little forcing here and there. That is, when I can manage it. I just feel like I owe it to her to change up the pace a little. From now on, I wont do much visualization. I will mainly focus on the General Tulpaforcing script, and the Vocality and/or Sentience script. I'll make them today, right after this post. And after lunch, I'll make it a habit to read off the traits. And hopefully, I'll try to start forcing during sun up, instead of when it's dark outside. I just find it really hard to envision Wonderland, when there is a lot of light outside my eyelids. I'm going to try to see if I can turn the light into the ambient light of my Wonderland. It'll be an experiment for you and me. I should have a lot to report tomorrow. Now that I've talked about the milestone, and the new routine, let's talk about last night. Something in my mind just snapped while reading the induction script. I couldn't tell if it was me or Lucy, but I suddenly didn't want to read that for a while. Other than that, I didn't force for very long, and I certainly didn't really do much while forcing. I don't have much to report on last night, because it was extremely uneventful. But, on the subject of last night, I did have a vivid dream. Once again, I've never lucid dreamed before, but last night I remember. I don't exactly remember who was in my dream, but I do remember it was a girl, one that I'm really chill with, and we were messing around. There was only one action that I truly remember, but I felt as though we had done a lot more in the past. I'm revealing all off this, because I came to the conclusion that this may have been Lucy. She had brown hair, and that was about all I could tell her (Lucy has brown hair as well). Except, her clothing was a little different then I had imagined. She seemed to have added a black jacket, or other cover, to her previous design. I couldn't see her face very well, because for some reason, I had my head tilted down the entire dream. I never once met her eyes with my own. The strangest thing about it was, when she had pinched me, I could really feel it. The touch was so vivid, that I'm pretty sure I almost woke up. It wasn't true pain, because I could feel the pleasure and playfulness behind the action. Just something to report I guess. There are two girls in mind that I know. And when this girl spoke, it sounded like one of those tow girls, mixed in with my own voice. It sounded strange, and I can't quite recall it. Anyway, someone can only ramble on for so long, before he realizes no one will read up to that point. I know I certainly wouldn't. Anyways, I'm going to wrap this up, and I can't wait to report tomorrow. By the way, if you want to answer a question in a post four or 5 reports back, feel free to do so. I don't care. If you have an opinion, I would love to hear it. Even if that opinion is unpopular, or the question was before the styling. Be my guest. I promise I wont bite. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  19. *Cue the Jeopardy waiting music* : do-doo do-doo, do-doo do-doo, DO, do do do do do do do, I didn't mean literally. Oh yeah, let me just get my figurative music player. Mhm, that's what I thought... Progress Report || 8/5/15 || #13 Well, how are ya folks? I'm doing great, thank you for asking. If you're wondering why I put so much effort into the intro of this Progress Report, and why I actually typed out Progress Report instead of the abbreviation, PR, it's because I have nothing interesting to say, tulpa-related or not. Thus, I'm stalling, to make it seem like this big wall of text is actually useful, like the rest of all of the other Progress Reports. Absolutely nothing of interest happened yesterday. I don't even know why you're still reading this. But if you must know why I'm even reporting anything, it's to keep up my streak of posting everyday when I possibly can. I feel kinda sorry that I didn't make any noticeable progress, or nothing spooky happened. I didn't even have a dream, or anything that could be related to visualizing or Tulpas. As we speak, I'm not doing anything with my free time. I think I'm going to start forcing during the day. I don't know how it will work out, but I think that it should be done. I can't visualize as well during the day, because of all of the light from the windows, and because of all the noise in the house, but I'll make it work. I don't know if I'm directing my thoughts to her specifically, or just talking to myself in general. I try to image the thought of her being next to me in my Wonderland, and trying to face her while I talk, so that my brain assumes that I am talking 'to' her, but I just don't know if that's enough. My question for the day, if anyone feels like answering that, is: How do you know for sure if you're talking directly to your Tulpa? Seriously, if I have been doing it wrong this entire time, then I have wasted 3 - 6 hours of my life talking to myself. This doesn't count for the times in which I've hypnotised myself into my Wonderland. I guess we'll see who's been talking to himself, and who's been talking to the voices in his head. (You know, there are some sentences in life that you're like, 'Damn, I'd never thought I'd say that!' and then there are sentences like, 'If I wasn't alone right now, then that sentence might get me put in a looney bin!'. That right there was one of the latter type.) I didn't think this post would be such a wall, but it is. In fact, this wall of text is almost as large as yesterday's Progress Report, and I actually had something useful to say in that Report! Just goes to show that if a man rumbles about the voices in his head long enough, he just might be able to surprise himself with his own ramblings. If you made it this far, then thanks, I guess you actually find this interesting. If you just skipped this far down, then you're no fun. Or maybe you are fun, because this looks pretty boring, doesn't it? Stop talking and get to the outro. You've hit you're rambling minutes. That's made up, but whatever. Stupid voices in my head, telling my what I can and can't do... just put in the outro. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  20. Thank you for giving me a rational answer to my irrationalities, this helps a lot. I guess I panicked and didn't know what to think of what happened. But, since I didn't read this until the morning, last night was, interesting, to say the least. Thank you for responding! I dunno, it just feels weird: Oh SHIT, what was that! Just you're imagination, probably Progress Report || 8/4/15 || #12 Ugh, I wish I could have read that article sooner. Basically, I freaked out over nothing, more so yesterday, then the previous day, in which I created a false sense of a dog near me, and a false sense of flashing lights. At least, that's what I'm told, and that's what I'll do. But last night, there was absolutely no doubt that I experienced fear. I guess fear is stronger than I though, because I also created my own reality inside my mind. Basically, I was paranoid after my session. I was about my upstairs, turning on lights, and turning them off. I really couldn't get much forcing in. It was because of fear, that I managed to do nothing but make myself believe in sounds in the night. Last night, there were a lot of coincidences, such as people out side my house in the middle of the night, made me believe that there was someone out my window. Other things, like the creaky house got to me, and eventually, I put my knife close to my bed than my water. It doesn't help that I read a pretty spooky story the day before. I hate not being able to force, and I hate not being able to keep a straight mind. I feel as though I'm falling apart from my usual demeanor. But I feel more relaxed, and hopefully this wont happen again. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  21. I can't tell what's good, from what's bad! : Halp Progress Report || 8/3/15 || #11 Well, yesterday I got back in the loop for hypnosis and whatnot. I thought it might take a couple of tries to get back into really 'feeling' the hypnosis. But to my knowledge, I think it went really well. To the point where, it got kinda creepy. I dunno yet, but I'll tell you everything I saw and heard, and you guys can tell me what I'm doing right or wrong. So like I said, I could really feel the hypnosis going. I was envisioning Lucy very clearly. But then, things started happening. When I was on my wake-up script, a single tear rolled down my left cheek. Nothing from the right. I was kinda tired, considering it was 10:30, but when this happened I also felt a little sad. I suspect it may be these waves of emotions out of nowhere that I keep hearing about. It also could just be my eyes being watery, but when I get watery eyes, it usually happens in both eyes. So afterwards, I got done with hypnotism, I'm awake, eyes open, about to start forcing. I take a little break, get some water, and then start forcing. But then something else strange starts to happen. All 5 senses are still connected to my reality, but I hear a dog panting. And this isn't whisper quiet, it sounds like it's coming from right next to me. I may sound calm through this text, but holy shit, I freaked out. It was loud enough, that I turned on all the lights, I checked my door for any dogs upstairs. I do own 2 dogs, but they should've been locked in a room with my parents... At this point, it gets hard to close my eyes without wanting to open them. It gets even harder to turn my lights off. I find the courage to turn them off, and I crawl into bed, asking if it was Lucy or not. I really wanted her to say yes. That's not all, after I crawled into bed, and found enough courage to close my eyes, after a minute, I see flashing bright, white lights. Bright enough to make me open my eyes. Not bright enough to freak me fully out though. I kinda close them again and the same thing happens. While all this is happening, I'm talking to Lucy, seeing if she's making this happen, and also telling her to stop being creepy. I think she obliged, because nothing else has happened. That's my little freak out story. Nothing happened in my dreams, and I don't remember dreaming anything, vivid or otherwise. It was all too strange to me. Oh, and after the flashing lights, a single tear rolled down the right, so I guess it balanced out? I have 0 clue at this point. Anyone out there who experienced what I just experienced early on? I would appreciate someone to talk to or Pm about this. Am I doing good things, am I doing bad things? Damn, this is confusing. I'll just go on with my routine for now, but what the hell should I do differently? Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  22. Well, I guess I'm strapped for ideas: Progress Report || 8/2/15 || #10 LOTS OF QUESTIONS HERE! RESPONSES ARE GREAT! Well, by ideas, I mean, what should I do if I'm not done by a months time? What I mean by that, is, what if I get done with all the hypnosis, and visualization stuff in a month, and she is still not sentient. I'm not say that I doubt my or her ability to be compatible in this endeavor, but what else could I try that may work for me? That is the question. I know that different methods work for different people, but there are so many people in this community, that I would be surprised if there wasn't anybody who thinks and acts like me. So, I'll give a brief description of who I am, and I was wondering if anybody is similar to me, and may have ideas on where to go. So here goes the brief description. I'm very logical, and I'm not one for imagination or pretend games. Being on the internet in the cold, hard cyberworld has only strengthened this trait of mine. I am only strengthening the visualization part of my mind for Lucy. I'm what you'd call a bit of a pessimist, but I have a good outlook on life. I don't have many local friends since I switched states. I have plenty of online friends, that I could hit up at anytime, but I feel as if there just there to talk to. I don't feel like I could truly 'share' my thoughts with these friends. I've only had 2-3 people that have made me feel that way, that I could actually confide in them. Only one of them was that way, because I was in a romantic relationship with them. That's truly, why I need Lucy. And no, I can't just go outside and find friends, I mostly live around old people. I couldn't be bothered to do so, because I'm always afraid of being too pushy. I don't plan to leave the cyberworld after Lucy, by the way. My future career is a computer programmer by the way. Once again, pretty brief. I'm deciding on whether to add or subtract from that description, considering what's up there now is way more that most people know about me. So that's that. I don't know if symbolism is quite working yet, because I don't 'feel' anything happening when I do symbolism. With all that out of the way, and put on the internet, I would like to know: Is there anyone out there like me, and has anything worked extremely well for you? And by me, I mean using the description above. I'm not saying hypnosis isn't working, I'm just one of those people who like to have 1 or 2 fallback nets. Thank you for listening to my incredibly boring life story, but I really do need help. This entire report ended up being a little bigger than I though, considering that I haven't even gotten in my session last night. I was out like a light, after my military training. But, on the subject of lucid dreaming: I had a very vivid dream last night. The strange thing is, like I said, I didn't do any visualization or anything last night. I just watched Terminator 1 and 2, and hit the hay. It's a little strange for me to have these vivid dreams. But it brings to light another question I had: Can anyone out there visualize there wonderland as vivid as a dream? During my dream, I was in a white tiled room, the kind of tiles you would find in Portal. But when I'm visualizing, I can 'sense' that the tree is brown, leaves and grass are green, the water is blue, the bread is brown, and picnic blanket is checkered white and red. I think this is because I know from previous experience that this is what I should see. But, when I created a house, from absolutely nothing bat a floor plan on paper, I couldn't tell what color I wanted everything to be. All I knew was that the basement was darker, and that my bed sheets were blue with white polka dots. But 'sensing' these colors feels way different from my vivid dreams. If you have input, it would be extremely helpful. Thank you if you have responded in the past, and any response (besides hate) is appreciated. Don't feel shy to answer any of my styled questions! Thank you for listening if you are!
  23. Thanks, for the information, and for answering my question, and for the good luck! This info was really helpful. I thought that maybe they would be NPC-ish sometimes, and sometimes they would be sentient, but you confirmed it for me! I appreciate the help, and I'll definitely call out to her when if I find myself in a lucid dream. Thanks for the praise, I do try my hardest to ask good questions :) I'm impressed with myself. You're right, I don't know much about lucid dreaming, but I figured the part of the brain that lets you simulated stuff in a wonderland, and the part that lets you simulate stuff in a dream are probably the same. I came to this hypothesis, because if I went to bed right after a serious visualization session, I would somewhat remember what I dreamt about. I've never had a "lucid" dream, but I kinda knew that what I was doing in my dreams couldn't be real, but I've had the 'clear' part of it down for the past couple of days. Unfortunately, my 'clearness' has went away during this trip, so I have to get on the hypnosis cycle again. Thank's for the response as well! And now back to your regularly scheduled program: Progress Report || 8/1/15 || #9 Once again, a final thanks to you guys, really helped me out there. I've always wanted to lucid dream, and now I might be able to kill two, mental birds with one hypnotic stone. But enough about I'm sure you all are just DYING to know about how my trip went. We'll, in regards to Tulpamancing, it was uneventful. What I was doing there, and what I was studying was just too damn interesting to me. What we did was build underwater robots out of PVC piping, wires, and solder. I know, pretty cool for a robotics, computer programming nerd like me. So sadly, I didn't get to force really all that much to Lucy, but on the bright side, I built an underwater ROV and fought against other ROVs to get some pool rings, so that was fun! At the time, I was with 16 other dudes and 4 females, so there was some form of noise from 0600 to 2200 (That's 6 AM to 10 PM for non-military folk). And noise of the slightest throws me off my visualization game, especially when you're building robots, and everyone is needed every 10 seconds to do another step in the process. The only time to actually stop and think about what has happened, and by that time, you just want to sleep, because we exercise everyday in the morning for like 2 hours. And, because the cooks are trying to kill us with incredibly low portions of food, you basically drop dead in your bed. Half of the time, it was either freezing, or it was sweltering, so that also dropped my focus. And there's always that one guy that puts his flashlight on strobe and blows whistles. So all in all, not a great Tulpamancing environment. But I tried to the best of my ability. That's really all that matters, right? Yeah, right. I dunno, I feel like I'm not being fair to Lucy. It's not my fault that I can't be a better host in that environment, but I still feel like it's my fault. It's whatever, really, I try not to dwell on the past, because from now on, I'll try and be the very best host (like no one ever was). Anyways, that's my spiel, I hope you enjoyed listening about my complaints, because that's all the complaining you'll get out of me for a while, because I've got to catch up on everything I missed, Tulpa or otherwise. If anyone wants to fill me in on what's happened in the past week, that would be cool. I think there is a site out there that has an overview of the entire week's major events. Well, I have to go browse a week's worth of Reddit! Once again thanks for the response, it helped immensly. Don't be afraid to post, I love talking ;). Thanks for listening if you are!
  24. Farewell, Adieu, Abschied, or whatever. I'm leaving: Forever? I think a small part of you wants me to leave forever... Maybe... Progress Report || 7/26/15 || #8 For those who care, I'm leaving today. I'll come back this upcoming Friday I believe. It wont be a 'fun' necessarily 5 days, but I'll be worth it. Anyways, nothing too much happened during last night's session. It went as expected, NO INTERRUPTIONS, which was the best part of it all. I finally got a good session in. Although, that's the last forcing/hypnotism session I'll have for a while. No, I can't bring the papers with me, and no, I can't speak aloud without being heard. I can however, do whatever the hell I want in my mind. So this entire week, I'll be slowly increasing my Passive Forcing abilities. I trained my Visualization in just 3 days, so I should get Passive Forcing down fairly quickly. I'm going to a military type event. There will be other people there as well as me in the ranks of the mock-Navy. The program I'm doing is like a ROTC program. Right now, I'm doing a summer training so that I may advance one day. This training I think has something to do with robotics or something of that nature. Or swimming. Either way, I should be fine, although, I'm not the most efficient swimmer. Thank you for (theoretically) worrying though! Too bad I have nothing else to talk about, because nothing really developed last night. I hope this short, but important update was still read, because that's all I have to say for this report, and the next week. Thanks for listening if you are!
  25. WTF, How can you do this shit twice in a row? : To be fair, it isn't my fault. Or at least I don't think it was... Progress Report || 7/25/15 || #7 Well, remember, that little incident, with the knock, and the gunshots. Well, I got interrupted, again, for the third time, in a row. And I had to ship on the hypnotism section, for the second time, in a row. Little backstory: I had to go out to get some milk for my daily bowl of cereal. Now, I had been living off of almond milk for a while, and if you got a good brand, almond milk is actually better than regular milk. But, I had apparently decided it would be a good idea, that I should just switch to regular milk suddenly. Anyways, after not processing that much dairy for more than 3 years, (although, I eat cheese, and such) my stomach gave in, and it hurt, a lot. All I could do for the day was to lay down, for most of the day anyway. Sitting or standing would give me pains. So, I couldn't focus too much on what had to be done. But here isn't where this all fell apart. I am going on a trip (In my favorite rocketship), and my family, obviously worried, decided to call my name, in the middle of the Deepening script. I can't just ignore them, so I forcefully broke away from the binds of hypnosis, and quickly turned on the lights. They walked in, noticing nothing but a chair and a cup of water in the middle of the room. But whatever, it was close enough near my desk, that I could justify it being there. But yeah, a whole 30 min of prep now gone to waste, and I just barely got to the good part of hypnosis. Sucks to be me and my tulpa right now. I'm about to go on a week long journey, starting this Sunday, and I will have an hour of forcing, in the past 2 days, and no hypnotism for the past 2 days. God. Damn. It. I bought the mug by the way. Anyway's, for Narration, I babbled on to Lucy about absolutely nothing really important or worth saying. But I have a couple of questions. For anybody that may actually read this, and actually respond. Does lucid dreaming come as a side effect of focusing on visualization? For the past two days, I've been able to clearly remember dreaming, even though for the past 2 years, I haven't been able to remember a single detail about my dreams. (Besides a few thing here and there, but you get the jist.) And also, If I get a sentient and vocal Tulpa, and I have a lucid dream, and I imagine her in my dream, will still be sentient and vocal and stuff, or will she be an NPC like the rest of my dream-people? I guess those questions take a person on lucid dreaming to answer. I'll read a couple of guides on the matter, but otherwise, if you want to comment a couple of guides you feel are good, go ahead. Or if you are a lucid dreamer with a Tulpa, then please, respond in this thread. That's everything on yesterday's events. How do you like my mug, I had it specially ordered. In fact, I might just force it into Wonderland. I find it kinda funny. But hey, that's just me. Thanks for listening if you are!