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About Mirath

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    I identify as genderfluid, and am unemployed. I enjoy creative writing and listening to music, and playing video games on my PS3.

    I've been a part of the furry fandom for a few years now, I go by Glade, who's an anthro wolf croupier. I currently have a partial fursuit, and am looking to get a fullsuit made.

    If anyone is interested in talking, my Skype username is guardian_raphael
  1. There’s a typo on the questionnaire. You spelt ‘true’ as ‘ture’
  2. That reply helps, I have a tendency to overthink until I’m running in circles. I would imagine that he came from my own memories of that life, since some do point in his direction and just a strong gut feeling, heh... But that’s all I have from my end, memories. Nothing intentional, nothing mentioned in source material. It’s just interesting.
  3. Thanks for the answer, it’s just not easy to figure out and put into words. Or maybe it’s just my mind wanting to put everything into boxes.
  4. I’m probably taking a different view of it here, but even though Gareth and I aren’t more than best friends, because of his connection to me he’ll defend me pretty hard and, uh, “vet” anyone who I want to be in a relationship with, it’s like he’s over my shoulder as I talk to them, heh. Creepy? Controlling? Maybe, but he’s gotten me out of some bad situations involving relationships in the last, so I trust him.
  5. Some roleplay characters can indeed take on a life of their own, and indeed some tulpas started out as imaginary friends. I would think that the main difference between roleplay characters and tulpas is the set of a character backstory. - if you look at the majority of the tulpa creation guides here they often recommend not making a character a tulpa, but basing them on said character is okay. For roleplay character coming to life, I’d say that’s more of a soulbond/“living character” phenomenon, usually done through writing, either intentionally or unintentionally, where given enough focus the character “comes to life” in their creators head. Cousins of tulpas, really.
  6. Okay, so I tried looking and couldn’t find a thread on this in particular. Whether I’m nuts or not. How possible is it for an unintentional tulpa/walk-in/whatever the hell to have memories that have been influenced by outside material? To clarify, I’m fictionkin, and Gareth has so-called memories that line up with events that happened in my source material, despite not being in-game himself. He turned up over a year ago, and between him and me we have some established ‘background’ and he often has insight into characters and the inner workings of one of the factions. So I was wondering if my own identity could have had an influence on any of it. It’d explain why he’s so close to me and it feels odd not having him around, yet he’s his own separate person, and doesn’t feel like an external influence that was the state when I had a soulbond hanging around, I can’t explain it right, I know... But I don’t think I had any conscious input.
  7. I’ve found that the insignia for a video game faction reminds me of Gareth, more of a natural association
  8. Some of my online friends know, but they have tulpas or are a part of other communities as well. As for real life friends... One person knows, and I’m not sure if some others know as well. Sometimes I get the impression Gareth does want to make himself known to certain people since he gets in with them, but I’m not entirely convinced, heh
  9. It was quiet at work, and near the end of the day, and I got wondered about both possession and an alternative form of communication to just mindvoice. We had ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ assigned to my left hand. ‘Yes’ was to the index finger ‘No’ was to the middle-ring fingers. That key was confirmed multiple times, even on the opposite hand, and when I wasn’t looking. Even to creating another separate account here, the answer was Yes multiple times. I’m sure he got sick of me making sure out of paranoia... Although the questions were asked in mindvoice, and answered by this method, I wonder if he’d answer questions by other people, but I imagine that’d require him sharing my hearing at least, heh... I’m also working on feeling his presence around me, which is a bit difficult for keeping focus on.
  10. Man it’s been a while... I’d say I probably found out about it through an Otherkin forum I was on
  11. This is semi-related, more what I found out out myself and Gareth to some extent — Not exactly kin-related... well kind of because it involves my own identity in some sense. — It’s like... it makes sense that he’d be an unintentional tulpa, because I could never get behind the spiritual aspect of a walk-in? The fact that his form hasn’t changed ever since he turned up. And the fact that he’s so ‘close’ to me and those moments when I’ve felt like shit when he’s gone off somewhere... Now, I say he’s my contractor and best friend. And I believe that to be true, from both what I feel from/about him and of course from the brief memories I have that involve him. And how he recalls and has his own opinions on LeFey and said Order. And how I always seem to associate him with said Order... But, someone on a tulpa discord brought up an interesting thought - what if the world he was describing was a form of wonderland/mindscape? By that thought it would explain things, the memories he has, and wherever the hell he goes. But... then would he really have access to something like that could endanger everything due to its content? Going off that thought, alongside that he turned up after the memories I’ve had and years after source finding, I wonder if some little piece of my mind latched on and sort of made the pieces fit together in a natural state? Not in a ‘you made shit up’ state, more of a ‘link here and here’ for my own memories to make sense, almost to give life behind their meaning? So, by that thought... everything could just be experience of a replicated world... (The next two paragraphs are in response to a question about whether said mindscape was formed before/during finding my source material and just ‘adapted’, or after I found the kin community and my source) I remember way back when I was smaller (after source) that I felt like there was something else there (if you recall I ended up just referring to them as Mortimer, but was definitely something different from me). So it’s possible it was him since the personality of being a dick and incredibly protective of me was still there, heh... So it’s entirely possible it was all adapted from there, but of course I didn’t know about tulpas/so on until years later, even after finding the Otherkin community. I think it’s sort of a grey area. I mean, yes something was there during that time, but I really only know him as Gareth this last year or so, including when I had faint memories of him. I’ve been thinking about it the past couple of days, and trying to discuss it with said contractor, heh. I think, because when I first broached the topic he was really defensive and almost aggressive about it and didn’t even want me looking at things like tulpa.info, but now he seems a bit more chilled about the idea. So it makes me think maybe it was some kind of existential crisis you hear about every so often.
  12. ImBadAtNames, have you looked into something called aphahtasia (I think that’s how it’s spelt) which is to do with the lack of being able to visualise. With presence imposition, sometimes I’m aware of an older, authoritarian figure stood over my shoulder. It’s an odd feeling. He likes sitting on a nearby table and watching as I work. I believe there’s a saying here - “if you think your parroting/puppeting, you’re probably not”
  13. Thanks for your reply, it’s quite reassuring, I have Aspergers (Now ASD) so I think I started trying to dissect every little piece haha. It makes for a mess sometimes.
  14. Oh I feel like I messed up... I think I might have confused a walk-in for an unconsciously made tulpa. We were talking for a bit, more I was bouncing ideas off him, more how he has memories that are closely tied to my own identity, and how he just seemed to appear out of nowhere. I think at first he was reluctant/hostile towards the tulpa idea due to both of us being focused more on my identity in that sense. I wish I could just wipe this whole report, or even just start a new account for him...
  15. Gareth: More of a stress relief, although I ain’t having sex with this guy. No way no how lol. Sure I get horny, natural ain’t it? But he don’t like it so I stay away lol, my space is better