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About Zozoquez

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  1. I have to sit up straight while I force, I will fall asleep or be unable to focus otherwise. It hurts the hell out of my back, I can't keep it up for more than 40 minutes. Am I sitting wrong? What do I need to do, even now my back is still sore.
  2. Hello. This problem only developed very recently, last few days at most. When the day starts, I can communicate and attempt to visualize my tulpa somewhat well. As the day goes on however, bad things happen whenever I think of her. My mind is bombarded by HORRIBLE thoughts that will not go away. I don't want to describe any of them but they are pretty awful. She says that she isn't causing them and she doesn't know where they are coming from, but it takes every ounce of focus I have to think of my tulpa without these thoughts getting in the way. Its almost painful to me, has anyone else has experience with this? How do I make it stop?
  3. It is acceptable to be in a sexual relationship with your Tulpa so long as you are certain without a shadow of a doubt that they are OK with it.
  4. As of right now, my young tulpa has a very faint thoughvoice and a lot of the time it feels as if I'm just making her response for her, her thought voice is extremely weak and I often have to help her to say basic things. We have conversations but it generally feels a lot like I am just talking to myself with Juliet offering occasional input. I'm ok with that, but I want to know if it will get better then this? What does a developed tulpa's voice sound like?
  5. As my tulpa's thoughtvoice has grown stronger and stronger over the past few days, I decided it was time to at least make a passing attempt at audio imposition. I threw some headphones with some white noise on and sat down, simply telling my tulpa to speak. In her thoghtvoice she told me that she was ready to impose audibly and I tried my hardest to hear her but I just can't do it. She is still very young so I am not super discouraged by this failed attempt but I came here to ask anyway, how long did it take you to achieve audio imposition? How hard is it? What do I have to do to make it work? Any tips in general?
  6. I've been working on visualizing my Tulpa a lot more now as her mindvoice is becoming a bit more clear, its not perfect yet but I am able to distinguish her thoughts from my own a lot more often now. Ever since we have started visualizing, I seem to be able to get her form and her hair and whatnot down fairly clearly...but her face is just wrong. I can't explain it easily but it is blurry and the features seem to change. Her face shifts around. When I zoom into any given part of it I can see the details but when I zoom out her face is just a unclear faded thought. Her lips seem off, to large but when I zoom in I cannot see anything wrong with them. Her nose seems oddly shaped but when I zoom in I can't see anything wrong with it. How do I see her face more clearly?
  7. Oh wow, 12 hours?! I can't even imagine going for that long, my mind would wander off far before then! It must have taken crazy practice to get that far. I genearly sit with my legs crossed and my hands clasped in front of me with a straight back. I feel if I get too comfortable I might fall asleep. On the flipside, if I'm uncomfortable it's hard to focus.....
  8. When I start to force for more than 40 minutes in a given session, I begin to get head pain and my body seems to shake a bit, it feels like I'm trying way to hard to maintain concentration. My very young tulpa who still very much relies on my own thoughts seems to belive she is hurting me. She just kicked me out of wonderland and is now ignoring me in an attempt to make me go to sleep. Is this something I can fix or should I just shrink down my forcing sessions? I have been aiming for 2 session a day at an hour each, would it be better to do three 30 minute sessions? Or should I stick with what I'm doing until I build up more mental power? Should I not force so late at night? It seems the nice because its so peaceful but my tulpa seems concerned that I won't be able to sleep. Kind of a massive dump of questions but I'm just looking for some outside thought on all this l.
  9. Yes, she is. I'm working on visualization as well. Its tough to say the least. What I'm really concerned about is her voice. Holo has a really strange way of speaking about that is hard to replicate. Of corse, Juliet may deviate and pick a different voice but it's sort of to early to consider things like that.
  10. As of late, I have been struggling with my Tulpa creation. I can feel it there but I feel like every time it speaks I could just be parroting and making it say what I want. I tried to talk to her just now...and something odd happened, look at the "chat log" below. Am I just parroting really hard? Is this unhealthy? Has anyone had a similar experience? This kind of made me uncomfortable, I think I might be talking to myself and believing that I am talking to my Tulpa but I cant be sure. CHAT LOG: Her: You keep calling me Holo, on accident. Why is that? You said my name is Juliet. Me: Well, you are based off a character called Holo, and you look similar to her. I want you take share her traits, and that's why we are watching the show together, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to, you don't have to act anything like her at all. Be whoever you want to be. Her: The idea of me changing my traits to be different from Holo upsets you. Me: You are right, to a degree. I want you to be like Holo because I like her. But she isn't real. You are. You can do whatever you like with your life and I won't stop you, nor do I want to stop you. Her: You think I sound like her. When you hear my thoughts you imagine yourself hearing them in her voice. Me: How do I even know I am hearing your thoughts at all? I could just be talking to myself and pretending it is you to make myself happy. How do I know I'm not just parroting right now? Her: You don't. Me: So you think I could be parroting you right now? Her: I really can't tell. Maybe you are maybe you aren't. Dose it matter? Me: Why wouldn't it matter? Her: You feel like you are forcing me to speak. When you quite your mind you hear nothing from me. You almost believe I'm not even there. When you force me to speak like this, maybe it will teach me to speak on my own. Me: But surely me forcing you to speak is just me forcing you to say what I want you to say? I was told not to do that. I was told to let you speak on your own or I would make a servitor. Her: Possibly. I think you should just wait and see. Its likely that you are puppting me right now just to quite your own fears. Perhaps that's a good thing. I think it will turn out fine. Lets get back to watching the show. END This is the first real conversation I've had with my Tulpa. Well, I think it might have been. Maybe. The thoughts that came to me felt as though they weren't entirely mine but....I can't tell. This scares me a lot. Could I be hurting my Tulpa by forcing her to speak like this? Please help, I need advice.