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About warriortiltheend

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    Definitely Not A Cat

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    Hi, I'm Ash. I'm genderqueer and use they/them pronouns.
    I have three tulpas, and you can read our progress report here:
  1. Yeah, absolutely. I can project pure, raw emotion to my tulpas, and they can do the same to me. It's called tulpish.
  2. Quoting because it relates to what I want to say. I had a pretty similar situation with Gamzee. He appeared as a soulbond that became a tulpa over time. Though he still retains many traits from his base character, he's not him, and we both know that. He's never, in his almost three years of existence, had an identity crisis over being based on a fictional character. However, just because it's not an issue for some tulpas (like mine and Koyvx's) doesn't mean you shouldn't be wary of it.
  3. Q1: Does your Tulpa like our world? Obsidian adores it much like I do. Gamzee thinks there's a lot to appreciate about it. They both enjoy it, though they also like our mindscape. As for Quartz... I don't think he ever liked our world much. The limits of it bothered him. Q2: What are the things that your Tulpa appreciates of it? I think Obsidian really loves everything. She is such a sweet girl. She loves flowers and nature. She loves the sun and the moon. I can't think of anything she doesn't like, she's such an optimist. Gamzee's a huge nerd for video games, movies, and technology in general. He also greatly enjoys food.
  4. Yeah, I've had it happen before. Sometimes it can just seem like your tulpa, but not actually be your tulpa, so you have to be discerning. Generally speaking, it'll be easier to tell when your tulpa is fully developed if they're actually in your dream or not.
  5. Curse Quartz and all the cute things he says. I have a habit, due to my anxiety, of playing out future scenarios in my mind. I was thinking about some paperwork I dropped off at the counselor's office that was basically a checklist of problems. I was imagining my therapist going through each with me and harassing me for checking the 'I'm not sure I want to get married' box. I was explaining why that is to her in my mind. It put me in a major slump, and I started feeling even more anxious, because I started thinking about my abandonment issues and the like. So here I am like, "Quartz is going to get bored of me!" and Gamzee's like "Nah sis, he adores you." And I'm like, "He hasn't known me as long as you have, he's going to get bored," so Gam shuts up and then Quartz starts talking. Quote: "I fell in love by choice and chance. There's not a single damn thing in this world that will make me stop loving you." I really have no idea where he gets this. I'm so bad at romance. I suck at being cheesy-cute, and for him it's like every other word out of his mouth. I still can't really fathom why he adores me so much. It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm still worried I'm unintentionally manipulating him. Sorry for the blogginess of this update, it's just really hard to explain this without also explaining the situation.
  6. Obsidian's first words (besides words of comfort to me- I didn't realize that was her) were "Actually, I'm a girl," since before I had pinned her as genderless.
  7. Wow, you sound a lot like me. Your situations echo mine a lot. Anyway, I have three tulpas and it's never been a problem, even with my emotional instability, so you should be just fine. You sound like you've thought about it a lot.
  8. I have the extension currently turned on and it is still so amusing! I've been screen-shotting the results and sharing them with friends. I worked with Quartz again today on some things. This morning, we got up together, and his presence was more distinct from my own (more than normal, anyway.) It was almost eerie. I'd describe it as that feeling you get when you know you're being watched by something sentient, but you can't see it. Except I knew it was there and I could see it (not visually, but through visualization.) He made a small change to his form, and though it's not always there, he sometimes has eyes. They are bright blue and kind of remind me of Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls, in how they look and in the concept of an object person having eyes. It's very unnerving. We also decided to try co-fronting, as you could call it. Half-possession, maybe? Half-switching? Whatever terminology you'd use, it was interesting. The purpose of this was for practice and to see what it would be like. Quartz expressed a wish to play his source material, and since I have three of the games, but am too much of a pussy to play them, it seemed fair to let him play them. Co-fronting felt really weird to me. We were both 'piloting' the body, and referring to 'us' as 'we'. I wonder if anyone else with tulpas has tried this before? --- This might come off as 'bloggy', but I'm feeling really insecure about how aggressive I am at the moment, especially when it comes to guys... which, considering two dudes are permanent residents inside of my head, isn't a good thing. Since Quartz tries to help the most, he gets the most of it. I feel so guilty. I need to work on my aggression issues, especially for their sakes.
  9. I don't know if there is any universal advice to be found. Anything that could be said could also be contradictory or even detrimental for someone. A great example would be the "trust-every-thought-to-be-your-tulpa" I so often see. I understand the value behind this phrase and its importance in the development of a tulpa, but I've seen it go badly for some people, even myself. Suddenly an intrusive thought is actually communication from your tulpa, and that can be concerning. I think this is where the 'evil tulpas' come from; it's not that the host's tulpa suddenly turned evil, it's that they had an intrusive thought and believed it was their tulpa. I feel like this advice is good enough to give to people without that problem, though I wish there was a disclaimer included with it more often, something like "Hey, if your tulpa says or does something weird, consider this: It is probably an intrusive thought!" (If you're prone to those. I know I am. I've done everything and I still get them.) I think the ideal guide would be tailored to everyone, but I also think that's just not possible, with so many different opinions. If I were to write a guide defining tulpas, though, I would just use this site's definition, since it's so straightforward, and most people agree with it. Vastness isn't good when it comes to guides; there's nothing worse than being vague and uncertain when it comes to them, if you ask me. If the guide itself cannot even decide on what a tulpa is, how is a newly-introduced person supposed to decide?
  10. Awe, Roxas was my favorite KH character! As Luminesce said, the games are amazing, as are the characters. Did you know Roxas from the games also kept a journal? A bunny cat form sounds interesting. I hope to see it at some point. I can't imagine what it looks like.
  11. I downloaded the Chrome extension that changes "friend" to "pet" and I was literally crying with laughter. It's the best thing I've done all day. Anyway, I practiced communication and controlling intrusive thoughts today. I also practiced sharing with Quartz, mostly with hands and legs. We practiced tactile imposition too, and actually got pretty far! (This was mostly due to his effort - I was ready to give up so many times throughout the process!) EDIT: I removed the extension and downloaded another one. Now it goes like this: "Friend" -> "Friend" "Supportive Friend" -> "Supportive friend" "Support" -> "Support" "Supporting" -> "Supporting" "Possession" -> "Sharing" I'll probably add more over time.
  12. Since everyone else has so beautifully summed up their belief about the tulpa phenomenon, and since mine are very much the same (FallFamily's theory matches mine the most) I'll focus on answering the question of different experiences. I think this is also the easiest question to answer, and I can sum my response up in a sentence: We are all different people, who have different skills and abilities, different levels of intelligence, different personalities, etc. We are all different, which is why the experiences differ. Example: For one person, they may have a vocal tulpa within a week, whereas another person may have one within 3 months. Why the disparity? It could come down to a lot of things; perhaps Person A had more time to spend on developing their tulpa, or maybe they have more practice with thoughtforms. They could have used methods to increase vocalization, such as parroting until the tulpa learns to speak for itself. On the other hand, Person B may have had less time or less practice prior to this first tulpa. It's also possible they had mental barriers blocking out their tulpa's voice. Maybe, in both of these scenarios, it's the tulpa who is responsible, not their host! That's a possibility as well. You have to look at all the possible reasons and consider which is the most likely.
  13. This is so cool! I'll definitely use this in the future.
  14. Amazing responses! @ParanoidLlama: I am the same way. Everyone in my life describes me as ambitious, self-motivated, hard working... I don't know where they get that idea from. I spend all of my energy just getting out of bed and functioning.
  15. I kept thinking about this quote last night, and it's starting to change my opinion on a lot of topics. Already, Obsidian's optimism is changing me. On a somewhat-related note, I need to come up with a nickname for her.