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Everything posted by SwissArmyCheese

  1. Not going to update thread anymore, not giving up on Amber, just dedicating more time. If possible would like account termination (Or at least the ability to delete previous posts). I would only return if significant amount of progress is made, for example when Amber is imposed and "finished" so to speak. Returning would probably be done under another account when I can actually contribute to the forums.
  2. These threads have some good "activities" and whatnot: I usually just ask Amber what she wants to do. It usually ends up either being writing music or sparring.
  3. Good to see you and Koomer and still reading our updates! It's nice to know, someone's watching her grow with me. Today progress has boosted even more. She's been able to grab my attention when I start to fade off into other thoughts. Her possesion has also increased a little bit as well. I tried focusing on my left hand while she touched various parts of my face with my right hand. We even worked on form a little more and we've gotten her form to stick to a good "scale" so to speak (not too big, not too small.) So that made visualizing a hell of a lot easier. I meditated for awhile inbetween sessions and I also worked a little bit on imposition. In the dark I was able to faintly imagine a pair of her eyes in the darkness. Unfortunately they weren't there for long and were only sort-of what they were supposed to look like. They did however react to her facial expressions which a cool bonus. Basically she's even more so cemented in my head.
  4. Looks like you got a lot of participants! Any idea on when things will get started? When I told Amber what this was about she seemed really into the idea of it. She's looking forward to these weekly assignments already.
  5. I actually just switched over to gmail for my tulpa to use instead, sorry for any troubles!
  6. I've been spending more and more time with Amber, and things are back to normal and then some. I've been spending more time visualizing with her and her form is coming in more clearly. We've also both decided on a voice for her, so for our next goal, it's to basically work on mental image and mind voice.
  7. I'm trying to dedicate more time with my tulpa Amber, but we've both agreed that the wonderland get boring fairly quick. This lead to a decline in progress and eventually a complete stop. I'm looking for ideas on what to do and the don't have to be wonderland based. What are some games/activities/hobbies/etc, that you do with your tulpae?
  8. Progress has stopped completely. I will update when I continue. Amber is still there, in small increments we spend time, but she is not completely gone. I WILL complete her. Most progress and communication as of late has been during DMT trips. I managed to get to my wonderland whilst tripping balls and we talked. She enjoys re-decorating the wonderland and has been reading through my memories for the past week. I will get her back into my routine.
  9. HNNNG. The past week, I have been making shit progress. I haven't forced more than 30 minutes a day and narration has been at a minimum. My depression has gotten so bad that I go straight to bed after I get home form classes, only getting up to eat or check e-mail. I have fallen into a rut. I am going to the doc's tomorrow to get some anti-dep perscripts. Hopefully then I can find the motivation to spend extra extra time on Amber. If only we lived in a world where tuppers could constantly flood the brain with happiness. Bleh.
  10. UPDATE: I will update less often. The frequency of interesting shtuff has slowed down. I will update as cool shit happens. So inbetween updates, this is also an "Ask Amber/Swiss" thread. Go fer it.
  11. "Everything's fine, I feel like progress has been slow though. The wonderland get's pretty boring. Tell Swiss he needs to work harder." I agree with her on the boring wonderland part, forcing is starting to seem like a chore. Any tips? And as for the working harder part... I'm doing my best.
  12. Been super busy the past few days. Going to go force for the rest of the night then try and draw another picture. Feel free to post questions and what not by the way readers, Amber feels as if she's ready to communicate to the community. Sooooo have at it. I'll be proxy-ing for her until further notice.
  13. Hopefully! I'll keep trekking along. Things are starting to get boring just working on voice... 10/9/12 +30 Boring session, not much happened. We just worked on voice a ton. She tried possesing my arms again. She was able to touch my nose and that's pretty much it. Pretty sub-par day.
  14. 10/8/12 +60 After taking a break and eating a snack, I resumed forcing. A lot happened actually. I walked around the wonderland with Amber for a bit and we both just talked. A lot of random "usual" stuff happened UNTIL... I said to Amber, "I bet you can see the wonderland a lot better than I can huh?" She replied with a smile and "Here, let me try something." All of a sudden I got a very solid headache and my head/neck muscles felt really relaxed, quite the contradiction. My head slowly rose up from its' slumped position and I was looking upright! My eyes opened slowly one at a time. My vision started getting really shaky and vibrant, but it didn't last too long. I let out a silent laugh and took control of my neck again. Apparently she had tried to switch, but instead just possesed my neck. This is the part where all my doubts went the fuck away all at once. So for the next ten minutes or so, I let her practice possesing my arms. She was able to lift my forearm and lower it back down. The most complicated maneuver she could do was touching my nose, which took at least a minute and a half to do, it wasn't very fast at all. Excited with progress, I asked her what she wanted to do to celebrate. She said she wanted to go adventuring, so I grabbed my sword and she equipped her bronze knuckle equivalent for hooves-thing. We found a tree tower not too far from our cabin and we fought our first monster. I didn't want her to fight anything too tough or scary for our first battle, so I conjured up a very threatening marshmallow monster (I just feel silly thinking about it now.) We both kicked it's ass and earned our first treasure. A marshmallow diamond (Again with the silly.) That was enough for one night.
  15. 10/8/12 +30? Couldn't focus worth a damn. Everything's so fuzzy and I'm not sure why. I can barely talk to Amber and her responses feel like they're incomplete or like they're being interrupted. I will try again after eating a snack, but this is really pissing me off. I can't get shit done on the day that I said I would spend extra time on. I've never been able to concentrate very well, but this is ust ridiculous. I've even tried several methods involving Amber, like asking her to swat away intruding thoughts or even tug on an imaginary leash. I feel like I'm making backwards progress again, back o when I first started. Plus the chat isn't working for me so that also doesn't help.
  16. Welcome! I started out my tulpa with the same form. Later on we both agreed on a change to something else, but during the first week it made things easier. You sound like you're making a good start too. Good luck and have fun!
  17. Still here, I've been very busy the past few days. I've had a total of +90 minutes for the past few days of off and on forcing. I've been narrating off and on too. Tomorrow, Is a re-organzing day due to a vacation from classes, so I'll be sure to get in a big session and work on voice. For me right now, the next big thing to work towards is voice. I feel once there is a clearer way to communicate, progress will speed up. I will not give up dammit.
  18. I would love to have a chat with Oguigi on the IRC sometime! Congratulations on getting married as well!
  19. Haha, no need to apologise, I'm well aware it looks like a fart. I gave up on it after awhile of "Nope, that's a fart too." I'm also just noticing how small her wings are in proportion to her body. Ah well, I don't draw ponies. She actually wanted to be a pony, I enjoy the style, so I don't really mind. It's adorable. 10/3/12 +30 We worked on voice EVEN MORE SO today. A really good amount too, her mindvoice voice was maintaining for entire sentences, which is awesome. She and I walked through the house again and I worked on visualizing everything with as much detail as possible. It works pretty well, I became even more immersed in my wonderland than usual. I also finally created a door to my memories and I let her explore. She came out and gave me a hug right away. I'll leave it as, she learned of troubles in the past and was glad I am the way I am. Her thoughts and my thoughts are starting to feel completely seperated now. She's still just a mindvoice but I'm having trouble feeling what she'll say as she says it, I actually have to listen for it like in a real conversation. She moves even more too now that her form is almost completed. Also she'll randomly pop into my thoughts as well. She'll pop up next to me in an 'imposed' state (I can ""feel"" her next to me and "see" her (very blurry and out of focus) but not completely imposed, just like in a peripheral view, but I'm not focusing on it. It just happens. Pretty damn cool.
  20. Thanks, Amber was really happy to hear that! I think I'm definitely past the point of no return, so looks like I'm going to have to keep it up, haha. 10/2/12 +30 She's been getting a little bit more vocal, but I'm still looking for ways to improve. I forced for about 30 minutes before I started noticing signs of falling asleep. Whenever I'm about to doze off my thought process gets really weird and the connections my brain makes are really obscure. So I woke up and finished but during our session we just walked around the house talking. Someone on the IRC (Biotech) suggested that I look for a beach in my wonderland. I stepped outside but I couldn't get rid of the fog around the cabin (I use fog in place of areas that I haven't developed yet.) I couldn't imagine too well, and my whole session was very fuzzy so maybe next time. I've worked on form the most and I'm just getting her color scheme to stick (White body with golden hair.) Her voice is still just a mindvoice, which sucks because sometimes her voice gets drained out by other thoughts. I will finish up on her color then work on her voice. Personality is already great. Another thing I've noticed, when I give her energy I always get a good solid headache, which has helped eliminate even more doubt. I try to question everything, which Amber hates, but it's getting harder and harder to question tulpae now.
  21. 10/1/12 +45 When I got into the wonderland, Amber was laying down on the couch sleeping. She said she has been so tired lately because she hadn't been getting a whole lot of energy. We sat down together face to face and visualized energy going from my body into hers. I got a really solid headache for the minute I did this. I felt a little drained afterwards, but she sprang right up and walked around. She said she felt the best she's ever felt. Feels good. We walked around the house interacting with the rooms, trying to get back the feel of the wonderland. We headed into the studio and I sat down to the keyboard and started playing some random little tunes. She started singing on her own (Took me by surprise actually) and we continued this for about 5 or so minutes. After that we just sat and watched some T.V. Not really T.V, I would just project random images/memories onto the screen and have her comment on them. After I left, I asked her if there was anything I could put into the wonderland to keep her occupied when I'm gone. Despite having a small studio filled with instruments, she wanted a pond. I quickly forced up a pond in the back yard area and put a fishing pole nearby. I also finished up the sketch from yesterday. -~-~-~- WARNING: I took about 45 minutes total on the following drawing, if you are a fan of decent art, skip the rest of the post. I cringe at my own art, so trust me when I say it's bad. Plus I don't normally draw this style either. I just want to show a basic idea of what she looks like to you, the reader. Plus tails are hard. Screw that tail.
  22. 9/30/12 +60 My sessions were split up today. I forced in the morning for about 30 minutes, nothing special, just working on form when her face finally clicked. I forced again for 30 more minutes on form again, then drew a picture of her. I'm not a very great artist, I don't draw often, but I like how it turned out and it REALLY helped set her image into my head. I'll try and upload the picture tomrrow.
  23. It feels like a little bit of progress each day. She's still just a mindvoice but I can feel her growing. Except for the past few days, I've been extremely busy so I've only really had time to narrate as the day goes on. I've promised her make-up time and I want her to try and keep me in the wonderland for an alotted time.