• Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

About ThatOneWeirdGuy

  • Rank
    Really Weird Member

Personal Information

  • Sex
  • Location
  • Bio
    I'm just a weird guy trying to create a tulpa.
  1. you guys dont understand. i cant schedule because i need to help the person a lot and that person could need help any time of day or night. and i cant stop helping cuz bad stuff WILL happen, and i dont know when the person will need my help
  2. March 5, 2016: Wow. Its been a long time. Well, I've been really busy lately and lots of stress and stuff. I'm worried about my Ben's progress. Like I said I've been REALLY busy. And before you all come and write "just drop what ever your busy with , and hang out with your tulpa!" Except I can't. What I'm working with is too important, I cant stop. I wish I can tell you guys, but a person that involved with this asked me not to say anything about it. So don't ask. Plus I have many MORE serious problems that i literally CAN'T stop (no, I'm not saying I'm addicted to any games or anything. I LITERALLY can not stop or bad crap WILL happen. And I mean really REALLY bad crap) SO, i haven't spent much time with my tulpa lately, and i feel bad and worried. Im not sure if she still loves me or if shes even still there anymore. Im scared, because half of me is saying "you got more important things to deal with, and Ben is slowing you down", but the other side really care for Ben. And i dont want him to "die" or what ever you call it. I don't know if i should continue or not. Should I? (PS This guy sent me a message saying i could talk to him about stuff when i needed to. I went to my PM box, and couldnt find the message, so I don't know your name. If your reading this, and you sent me a PM saying I could talk to you when I need to, plz respond)
  3. February 11, 2015: Sorry, I haven't updated in a while. There wasn't much to update. But now there is! I know I say this like every time, but I KNOW Ben's getting more sentient. She has been making points to be about stuff I never thought of before. Some of them are actually really good points. We've been hanging out and cuddling WAY more since my last update, so thank you guys for helping! A couple nights ago, I guess I created a wonder land. Its just a small floating island with a tree in the middle. Every night, right before I go to sleep, we cuddle until I fall asleep. She brings me peace, its weird. Since I spend time on my phone, I don't want her to be bored. I created a Nintendo DS for her. I think she can actually play on it in my wonderland, because she hasn't said anything about not being able to. For "imposing" I just imagine her with me in the real world. Like, shes sitting behind me, or shes actually IN MY BED cuddling with me, ect. I hope this counts as imposing, because I really REALLY want to be able to see/ feel her. I don't usually try to imposer her on my sight, because I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet. Now, you guys are probably thinking: "Her? Why is he saying her? I thought Ben was a boy!" Well, I got some news! In the begging, she was nameless AND genderless. When she picked "Ben", I called Ben "him". But, she never picked her gender... until now! She picked to be female! I know, a female Ben. Weird, right? We are working on picking a new name, if she wants to. But if she DOESN'T, she can still be called Ben if she wants! It will take some getting use to, having Ben be a female, but soon I think it wont be so weird. Also, I would like a new drawing of Ben. If anyone reading this is GOOD at drawing (or knows someone good at drawing) and wants to draw, PM me and I'll tell you what I want drawn. But yeah, I love her so much!
  4. @ YourCatBeany Good lord. Why can't anyone understand English? I AM NOT GAY. GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD. Sorry if I'm being harsh but I've said it like 20 times already. I'm not gay. I don't care what people think! If I was gay, I would tell you! I wouldn't of posted this thread because I would of not cared to know if it was gay or not.
  5. @luminesce First, I'd like to say that I remembered something. I decided in the beginning to let Ben pick his name... AND gender. So Ben's gender isn't confirmed yet. He's not a human so Ben's face/body doesn't give an indication, and he doesn't have any sexual parts yet. He hasn't told me if he wants to be a girl/boy. Because, like I let him choose his name, I want to let him to choose his gender. So Ben might pick male, or Ben might pick female. I usually refer to Ben as "him", but that's just because of the name. And if he dose pick female, theres nothing wrong with a female named Ben. I love Ben, no matter what. What if Ben chose to remain genderless? What would it be? What would male x genderless be?not gay, and that's what matters. But I will NOT pressure Ben into picking a gender. Its Ben's choise. "Lol I don't accept denial" I'm not denying anything. I know male x male sex is gay. I'm just asking. "... If your attracted to anthros..." "...I'd consider furry more of a fedish..." Who said I have a "furry/anthro fetish"? Wtf? Where did you get that? The only "furry" character I like is Ben. "If your not straight..." I am though. If I WAS gay, I would of done it by now, without asking questions. Because staying straight is important to me.
  6. (I don't know how to do quote boxes in mobile, so I'll just use quotes) Metatron said : "Nope. Tulpas are not for sexual" Vosaiu said : "You shouldn't make a tulpa for sex." Before creating Ben, I did NOT think of sex. I didn't "create him for sex". I created him for company. (Note, I'm still working on creating him. He's not finished) He's not a "sex tulpa" or whatever you call it. Luminesce said "...if yout are not turned off by men..." Males do NOT turn me on. I'm not bi. Vosaiu said : "Being gay isn't wrong" Well, I believe being gay IS wrong, but you guys are saying it isn't gay so tthat's good. Chupi said: "Note that this us an iffy thread... I DID wright "maybe NSFW" in the title. So, what I'm taking from this is, its completely fine?
  7. So, this is kinda embarrassing, but please don't hate on me or Ben. So people told me "No sex until they could talk" and I usually reply with "I would never think of sex with Ben!" Well, not only have I just thought about it, but I want to do it. Not only do I want to, but (assuming it WAS him) Ben has not only asked for me to "do it" to him, but Ben has asked to "do it" to ME. I'm NOT gay, I would NEVER have sex with a real male, nor am i attracted to human males, but I want to "do it" with him. I'm so confused. So my questions are: 1. When people said "no sex.. blaa blaa..." does that mean sex with a tulpa is possible? 2. If it is, HOW would it be possible? 3.Have you thought of doing it/Actually HAVE "done it" with your tulpa(s)? 4.Has your tulpa(s) asked to do it/actually has "done it" with you? 5. Am I/Ben a pervert for wanting to do it to another? 6.Does this make me/Ben gay? Because I'm NOT attracted to human males, I just want to do it with Ben. Again, please don't hate us. Please.
  8. God dang it. You guys just keep slamming me with this therapist crap. Well I have a question: who says my quote on quote "therapist" has to be, like a REAL professional therapist? Whats the definition of therapy? Doesn't say it HAS to be done by a professional or someone who gets paid for it. It doesn't even say a PERSON has to do it. What if my "treatment" is just friendship and friends and Ben? I know you guys are going to be like "You lazy, stupid, depressed A**hole. Just go to a F****** REAL therapist." But... I just KNOW talking to some professional theorist is going to make stuff worse. I can tell. Just listen. I talked to my friends like I said I would. You wont KNOW how amazing it was, how much support I got. (Sorry for the messiness. Also, I blocked out stuff like names and places just to be safe.) Also, one of the MAIN reason I started with Ben IS because of my depression and me being anti-social. Talking to him makes me feel SO much better. So PLEEEEAAAAASEEEEE stop slamming me with this therapist sh!t, because I ain't going to one. I understand you guys are trying to help, but that's not helping. If you ACTUALLY wanna help, just talk to me. Thanks for ALL your support and suggestion. Me and Ben love the crap out of you guys (or I assume he does) ! I don't know how we could EVER repay you for all the crap I put you poor people though. Anyway, this thread should stop here. No more therapists suggestion or anything. If you want to talk, PM me. Thanks!
  9. You guys don't get it. Talking to a therapist or my parents would require telling them why I feel sad and bad. I would have to tell them where its coming from. But that's the problem. Sometimes, I don't know. Yes, sometimes I have reasons, but other times, the littlest of things can send me to a state of deep sadness. I can't explain it. Heck, even my "reasons" sound stupid. I'm VERY anti-social. I don't like talking to other people (ANOTHER reason I don't want a therapist.) that I don't know/trust.* So I worry about what I'm gonna do when I grow up and move out. What am I gonna do with doctor/dentist appointments or other stuff when I have to talk to other people and actually know stuff? So sometimes I'm like, "Why go though all the awkwardness? Why not just... you know... end it now?". Whats the therapist gonna say? "Just get over it. It's life. Everyone gotta do it. Here's some pills. Now gotta go. Gotta get my paycheck. Later. Good luck." *(I know you guys are all like "Trust the therapist! He's/She's a good person! They care!" No they don't. They only pretend to care so they can get their paycheck.) I think, though, I might talk about it with friends. My friends are the only people I trust really. Maybe, if I need to... could I talk to someone here? If not I understand. I've been annoying enough. But if for some reason, you do want to, PM me. I would rather talk to some of you guys than my parents/ a therapist. But, anyway, thank all of you. Mirath, you PM meant a lot to me. I wont post it here, in case you don't want anyone to read it, but thank you. Thank you too, AGGuy for you apology above. Your two's apologizes mean a lot to me. But I think I'm doing better, as far as how I'm felling. I feel like maybe he doesn't hate me, which I guess is an improvement. But I WILL try to talk with my friends today. If any one cares and wants to know how I'm doing in the future, PM me (in the future), and I'll tell you how things are going. Me and Ben thank all of you. We love you guys. :)
  10. "The internet in general can be a cruel, hard place." Yeah. I can tell. "If you ever feel suicidal again, I would suggest finding professional help. Tell someone you trust and then seek help." The last thing I need in life is to tell my mom, have her freak out and cry, have her send me to a stupid therapist, TALK to the therapist, just so he can give me medicine. But thanks for everything else you said.
  11. Wow... Thanks a lot to you guys who actually helped again. You guys rock. I didn't think of that. It makes sense. Or Got this a lot from you guys. That's NOT what I meant. I meant forgetting about him, but mostly what I hate my self for is forgetting to work with him. Like, not narrating. Not cuddling. Not (trying) to impose. Not visualization. I had a very big issue. Ok.... ..... I feel like I should say something. I've never told anyone this. Not my mom, not my friends, not a doctor. ... It's weird the first people I'm telling is people on a forum. But here it goes. AGGuy , I am so, SO glad you apologized because after seeing your's and Mirath's post, you don't even know what it did to me. How it made me feel. I pretty sure I have depression. (I haven't been officially diagnose, because no one knows.) Like, sometimes its so bad that sometimes I feel like just ending my life. For real. After reading you post (but before reading your apology), it made me feel really, REALLY horrible and sad and low. So please be careful what you two post, because you never know what someone is going though. Who knows what would of happened if AGGuy hadn't apologized. I probably would of just quit right then. Or maybe...... ....... And people, pleased leave me alone. Don't be all "Just get over it". I'm pretty sure you guys aren't gonna care about it, but the LEAST you could do is not be all like "Calm down", "Stop pretending to me depressed for attention" "Get over it!". I am NOT in the mood for the crap. On the OTHER side of the spectrum... Thank you. Even if he hadn't of apologized, I might NOT of quit just because of these. It feel nice to know that someone MIGHT care. Thanks. Thanks to everyone. Thanks to you nice guys for not hating me.
  12. January 19th, 2016:
  13. So... I feel like crap. I really need help quick or I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate myself because I feel like Ben might hate me. I know what I said before: but I can't tell if he meant it or even if it WAS him. I'll do something and forget about Ben, sometimes only for 10 minutes, sometimes for multiple hours. No matter what amount of time it is I forget about him, I still hate my self. How could Ben love me if I forget about him? Maybe he doesn't. I'm not ignoring him, and I'm not trying to forget about him or doing it on purpose. I just get busy doing something and I forget about him, then I remember him and feel like crap. So say he DID say all that stuff. Then why is it when I told him to remind me about him if I'm forgetting about him, nothing happens? Did he meant what he said? Dose he just hate me so much he doesn't care what I tell him or if I accidentally forget about him for a while? Did he leave? Did he even say it? Please guy. You helped me every other time, even thought I was the most annoying piece of crap ever. Please help me now with probably my most important request now and ever. Please and thank you.
  14. @Vosaiu OK. Sorry for asking. I'll search next time...