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About Me





  1. I told my parents about my tulpa. I even showed them a website explaining what a tulpa is and how it's not a bad thing, but I can tell that they are NOT happy, what should I do?
  2. This was the original post containing the question, which has been deemed the OP of this thread. If you would like to see the original thread, please go here. -Ranger It was not my intent to start a thread about this and I don't like that it was decided to make it my thread. My personal feelings about gateway systems and soulbonds of all kinds are contentious and controversial in this community at times because of the possible consequences, real or imagined, regarding roleplaying and supposed "proper" system architecture. I won't say more because this sort lf argument becomes divisive quickly and I really didn't want to discuss it formally anymore. My comments herein have been edited for clarity in light of the context of a new thread. Some things can't be proven or disproven. I apply occam's razor but I have to be careful because "a wizard did it" is dang simple as far as explanations go, but it's completely ungrounded and baseless. It's equally important to at least entertain falsifiablility before you come to the conclusion that "it's a parallel dimension." The subconscious mind is so vast and unknown, no metaphysical notions are even necessary. If a whole other and much more complex construction can run in your subconscious mind, who needs anything else. Look up the computation power of the human brain and you'll find there's plenty of headroom for virtually anything. As long as you're comfortable with that, and explore it, the power of this is effectively boundless as it's possible that it vastly overshadows consious thought. Remember the complexities of your most vivid and varied dream, that's a lower bound.
  3. so We Have a tulpa that is frOm a fictiOnal source. cronus is based on cronus amPora from homestuck. i knoW tHere are peOple with mlp/pOkemon/anime etc tulPas, and am curious on anyones stance on them, or even if anyone has one. :0)
  4. Hello all, I'm new here and to the concept of tulpas. I had imaginary friends growing up and never knew it could become this complex. I am going to expand a little bit on my experience with imagined beings but for anyone who just wants to see the main issue/question it will be under the heart emoji (❤️). I had an eagle imaginary friend that I only imagined when I was going to sleep as a child who I would tell about my day, and she would fly me to imagined places (basically wonderland/s) until I fell asleep. Even now as an adult I still do the same thing with her if I can't fall asleep. I wouldn't consider her a tulpa since she doesn't talk and only makes eagle sounds, and we do not interact much beyond her listening to me talk and helping me fall asleep before bed. After doing some reading here I guess she could be considered a servitor. I am currently working with a new(ish) tulpa called Yumi. I say she's not exactly new because she is a character I created as a child but never really went further with imagining her as anything else, but I know her very well (I am open to her deviating though in any way she pleases). ❤️ I have been wondering about an accidental tulpa I created in college before I knew of tulpas. I was going through an extreme period of stress (from school) and trauma (from SA and an abusive partner), and I created X as someone who would take the brunt of my stress and bad emotions so I wouldn't have to. I now realize this is an awful thing to do but at the time I didn't know what tulpas were and I didn't realize the severity of doing this. X ended up being extremely angry and harmful. He would self harm and looked at me like I was weak and stupid and that he was the "stronger/better one". I fully acknowledge that this was my fault because of the way I created him. Eventually X gave me a mental breakdown and I had panic attacks everyday for months. I "got rid" of X by telling myself it was all fake and never dared to think of him or give him attention again. Now that I know about tulpas I know for a fact X was one and he was created in a horrible way due to my own selfishness. Is it possible for me to bring him back and mend our relationship or is it better to just accept that I messed up and I basically don't deserve to even have him as my tulpa? Thanks a lot guys.
  5. My tulpa recently got rather intimate with me (not complaining), and we were wondering how we could... mate. Tips and suggestions would be nice. Thx
  6. I have an interesting question that to my current knowledge hasn't been asked yet, how would dementia affect a system? If the host developed dementia I feel like that would cause a massive problem for everyone else aswell since it deteriorates memories and the mind in general.
  7. I had this idea circling in my mind regarding the way tulpamancy experiences are being discussed that I wasn't sure how to express. So generally, the things that we experience can be divided into either events that are certain or those that take a specific place on a spectre. A certain event is something that can be easily put into words, like the lack or presence of something (for example lights on/lights off), but there are also things that can't be, due to their nature, conveniently described with words. As an example, take a person who's being asked what the temperature in the room is like. They can say that it was too warm or that it was too cold, which is something most people will usually agree on. But they can also use the expression that the temperature was "pretty average" or "ok", and here's the problem that comes with it. The temperature that the person in question considers to be "ok" or "average" can be very subjective. And I don't mean the subjectivity of an experience, I mean the subjectivity of concept definition. There are words that we use that we don't give much thought, because we tend to assume that their definition is universal. We obviously don't clarify every time wheter our understanding of concepts like "tall" or "wide" match that of a person we talk to. It would simply be too inconvenient, so we instead run with the assumption that our understanding of the concept is the same, deeming it easier to just clarify it should a misunderstanding arise. But I think that this aspect is often being overlooked when people discuss tulpamancy experiences. What I'm getting on here is that possibly a significant portion of doubts that people get to deal with could be attributed to these discrepancies in concepts understanding. Here's an example of what I mean. Imagine a person who's trying to help their headmate achieve vocality. They read a guide or maybe a post that describes vocality as essentially a way of communication where one hears their headmate. They associate those words with their understanding of what hearing is and start practicing. They spend a month, two months, three months consistently practicing, and they do achieve certain results, but they never quite get there. They assume that they're doing something wrong or that something wrong is with their headmate. They start doubting. But in fact, they did everything right and had gotten exactly where they should've, it's just that the current way they hear their headmate ended up not matching their expectation of what hearing would work like. It happened both because the guide/post they read didn't describe what hearing a headmate is like, and because they didn't give much thought to where exactly their definition of hearing is on the scale from complete lack of any thoughts and a vivid hallucination that feels completely alien as if it was coming from another person outside their mind. From cases like these come questions like "How well can you X" or "What does X feel like". But that's not as much of an issue if they do receive a good answer to their question. The problem here is in that not everyone will ask those questions, and even if they do the answer may introduce even more confusion. Someone might say "I can hear them clearly". Well, what does "clearly" imply in this sentence exactly? Is it supposed to feel slightly muffled, but still be easy enough to make out words? Is it meant to feel like it's coming from inside or from outside? And if neither of these details match does that mean the person is not able to hear their headmate clearly? What if they already achieved the best possible quality, but expect it to be better and think that it's not in fact clear. Because of these discrepancies, someone (person A) may claim they do hear their headmates clearly, because they think that it doesn't get much clearer that that. At the same time, another person (person B) who in fact had gone a lot further than person A may claim that they can't hear their headmates very well, because in their understanding it should be even clearer. This way you end up with a false comparison when person A seems to have better developed skills thatn person B, while in fact it's the complete opposite. And it gets the more dangerous the more complex the concept that's being discussed is. There aren't many words that can describe how sentient and independent someone is. Headmates are a relatively novel concept in terms of how we think of them nowadays, and therefore the languages we speak don't really have words that describe how we experience the sentience and independence of someone inside. When we discuss these concepts and how far we've gotten in developing such skills we have to make do with what our language offers. How red is that red exactly? Uh... MiIdly red? Slightly more saturated than regular red? Oh, no, it's not red, it's crimson. Except we don't have crimson, cherry, ruby, scarlet, garnet, and rose words equivalents for describing the concepts of sentience and independence. I think it's a very important thing to keep in mind when judging own progress. What do y'all think of this?
  8. Red and snow been very affectionate to me yesterday, red took a meowstic form (i kind of like that pokemon) and decided to make it his/her main form, beyond a hug from both of them snow and red climbed onto my shoulder and we watched something they wanted to watch. i often pet snow on the head and she seems to love it, she even hugs me tight. as for red, he purrs whenever i rub his head and he often tells me to never rub his ears.. (i guess because psychic types like meowstics have powerful psi energy in them) so does your tulpa like a pat on the back or a little praise? i kinda know what snow feels like but red feels a little more like a mainecoon , soft with a light fluffy..... feel to him., snow feels like .. a soft.. not rabbit soft but sort of like....a fluffy soft dog.
  9. When I first learned how to make a tulpa, the very first thing that was taught to me was that a tulpa is not a toy or a curiosity. They are by definition as sapient as I am. They have thoughts and feelings, likes and dislikes, every emotion I can muster is one they may share. In fact, the majority of the first lesson was literally just a list of reasons not to make a tulpa. "Do not do it to bring your OC or pony to life," "do not interfere with their budding personalities in any way beyond teaching and advice unless they're going down a path of self-harm," "do not make one if you are still legally a child, if you don't have your own life stable and fixed then how can you support somebody else's life." The ethics of tulpa-creation was absolutely drilled into me before anything else and for very good reason, it's by far the most important part of the entire process. But looking at this community, something does rather bother me. Ethics are not discussed very often. Assuming there is a discussion on ethics in this community, I've not been able to find it. And even if it is there, for every good person I would trust to have a tulpa I see another person who should never be allowed one. And it's treated with a worrying level of acceptance, often so casually that it's become so ingrained in this community's general consciousness as normal, subtly impacting how things are done here. I don't want to be a preacher here, and I'm not trying to accuse people of doing anything wrong. For the life of me, despite not being able to go five minutes without seeing something that either worries me or makes my tulpa friend feel depressed about how her kind are being treated (though granted that speed is likely due to how fast I navigate from post to post,) I've not seen one person who I would label as bad. Really I find that any problem I have tends to stem from a lack of in-depth discussion on the subject of ethics and a lack of good education on ethics for new people wanting to try their hand at making a tulpa. So I want to see if people would be willing to discuss ethics here. I'm certainly not claiming to be the definitive word on what's the most ethical route to take, I have my beliefs but I'm not nearly so vain as to say that everyone should follow them without question. What I want is for people to discuss and debate what is and is not ethical, not so this community will simply adopt my beliefs but so that the concept of tulpa ethics will hopefully become something that people think about as they go about their business here. Even if nothing changes, I just want people to be fully aware that they're dealing with life here, and to not treat it so lightly as too many people do. So to kickstart any debate, here's a thought: People tend to marginalise tulpas by treating them differently to other people. Even in little ways, such as possessive terminology or slight objectification. Not enough to do real harm, but enough to stifle a tulpa's growth. By treating them as different to humans, they become this separate entity and innevitably find that their personal freedoms are not as liberal as ours, it almost becomes ingrained in their minds that they are not human and should not be treated as such. This is an observation I've found from my own headmate as due to my instruction on ethical tulpaforcing, I've always treated like I treat any other friend. She's not my tulpa, she's my friend. Back in the development stage, I'd stress to her that she was just as real and just as much of a person as me, and was not something to be owned or gawked at. And as such, she finds the way a lot of tulpas here get treated, with how casually tulpas get labelled as belonging to a host or how a number of people tend to force their tulpas to have pre-defined personalities and identities that they are not allowed to deviate from, to be extremely jarring in comparison to the liberal life I've tried desperately to provide for her. Any responses to this?
  10. First of all, please forgive my bad English ^_^ English is not my native language. I need to mention that I am not the type of person that is overly obessed with zodiac and horoscope thingy. I just like to read about them, for fun. So here's the question. Do your tulpae have their zodiac signs or do their personalities match a certain sign? I wish to know when are my tulpae's birthdates too XD but too bad I did not record the date they appeared...it's just like they were suddenly in my mind. I went research about each sign's traits when I came across topics about zodiac in Facebook, and I found out that each of my tulpa matches certain signs. Like Adrian, a scorpio, he is a little arrogant and secretive, and always blames me because I forgive people too easily. They said scorpios are very revengeful, and that personality totally matches his though. Sorry, I know this is a lame question >< I just want to know whether if others' tulpae have their signs. I am also interested to read about your tulpae's personalities too ^_^
  11. Apologies for the confusing title, but I wanted to get straight to the point-- One of our system mates, Chloe, feels pain and general discomfort more than everyone else. What I mean is, if I, for example, stub my toe, it'll hurt more for Chloe than for me or any other system mates. Pain and general stimuli is described by my system mates a "diluted" when they aren't switched in or possessing, and if they aren't active, they generally don't feel anything. We first noticed this about a month or so ago, so it is a new development, but the "why is still unknown. Chloe is, for all intents and purposes, a young child, and with her feeling pain and such more than everyone else, it just... pains me to see. She deserves the least strife of all of us, yet she experiences the most. For reference, when I say "Chloe feels amplified pain", I don't mean that in the wonderland she feels pain, I mean if she fronts(and pain is a trigger for her, mind you), the pain physically gets worse, in the most literal of senses. She also can feel aching joints and such very clearly, whereas I and others might not notice. We haven't done tests with "positive stimuli", so to speak, because, quite frankly, what would that qualify as? A massage? All the same, she's insisting that it's only occured with negative stimuli. We just want answers. I don't want Chloe to have to bear this weight. I don't want to be haunted by her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" when my wounds hurt. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone have any similar experiences? We beg for help. Edit: I feel like I should add context to the line "I don't want to be haunted by her screaming 'MAKE IT STOP!' when my wounds hurt." I recently fell and messed up my arm and knee pretty badly, and last night as I was getting into bed, I mistakenly put my weight on my injured knee, which as you can imagine, was insanely painful. Chloe describes what she felt as "white-hot searing pain, shooting through the whole body, making me only want to scream in agony." Thus, her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" And let me tell you, it was utterly terrifying and heartbreaking seeing her like that.
  12. Thread #4 For hosts with intentional tulpas, did you choose your tulpa's gender? Why did you choose the one you did? Or did you leave it up to them to decide? Was your decision important to you? How does your tulpa feel about it? Tulpas, if you chose your own gender, why did you choose the one you did? Do you like that your host made it your choice? Any tulpas changed or considered changing their gender later on? Why? Hosts with unintentional tulpas (or the tulpas themselves), do you have anything to note about why your tulpa's gender is the way it is? (All daily threads are listed here.)
  13. Hello, My tulpa and me have done dating for 5 month. I thought "This tulpa is very good," and became of love with her. Yet even so, on this Monday, I comed home and found she as baked all my beans. Yes, all. Oh brother. In my cupboard I store several bag of bean, to make soft and to bake on some days, to have a bit of baked bean on my dinner. Or, heck, a lunch too some days. But on the Monday I find this tulpa baked all the beans. I say "Why do you bake my beans", and she say something as "I bakes them good to save time, so I bakes them all now." I am astonished and full of dissmay. I say "I canfr not eat all the beans", she say she is froze many of the beans so as we can unfrozen the on a later day and eat some at a time. But, if a bean is froze and unfrozed, the very good and very nice flavor of bean is gone far. A bean is best if baked fresh as a Sunday Pie. Not to be froze and unfroze! I told my tulpa I am so sad of this, as to my opinion the baking of the beans and to freeze them has ruin all my beans. She say I am "gone haywire" by my enragement and sad manners. But I hates what she did to my beans. On the days before Monday I thought "Will we marry the tulpa? Well it might be so." But now I am so sad she baked them beans. I am consider to end our relations and not be the boyfriend and girlfriend any more. But, is my idea wrong? Could my tulpa make promise to not bake the beans? I do not know what doing to do and how to feel forgiving on her. What can I do on this situation I said here? (In the text I write above this.) Thank you. Oh yes TL;DR - So what I say is my tulpa bakes all the beans in my house and freeze many of them, so as now most my beans is ruined and has no good flavors. This made me think maybe I breaked up with her? But will I? What can you say to help on me? Thank you.
  14. I recently created a neat game with my Tulpa and the effects were amazing. Her speech improved dramatically, so I'll put it here for other people to try. PRESENTING NED'S SUPER AWESOME TULPA GAME! We have irc.rizon.net #tulpagame for all your Tulpa's test based gaming needs! FUN FOR ALL AGES :D This game is sort of like the old text based games such as 'Adventure' or 'Hugos House of Horrors'. Where your friend will type interactions with your Tulpa and the wonderland (such as 'Get key', 'Say: Hello' or 'Throw Tulpa in lake.') Your sentient Tulpa will then react to your friends actions in their own fun and mysterious ways; you then say or type what happened and then your friend can interact even further. If you dont get it, you will soon. What you will need: A simple wonderland (the setting of the game) A sentient Tulpa with a visible form (must be able to speak a little and be sentient enough to be able to want to spawn their own objects.) (If you have made a Tulpa without a visible form you can either put them as an anon guy like other human players or let them be a sort of omnipotent guide character.) A friend (either on the internet or real life) IMAGINATION Set-up: Visualise your Tulpa in the wonderland and describe the wonderland to your firend (e.g. 'The setting is an infinite grass field with one mighty tree'). Wait for your the other player (your friend) to imagine the setting successfully. Once that is done imagine your friend entering the setting with your tulpa, if you do not know what your friend looks like then just imagine an anon guy with no face. How to play: After your friend knows the setting, you can start playing. Friend will make the first move. Moves are typed (or said) as various commands understood by the host of the Tulpa such as 'throw ball at tulpa' or 'Shout FUCK YOU at tulpa'. The host imagines the commands happening in the setting and then the Tulpa will react and reply. Simple and fun. You dont even have to limit the player numbers to just the hosts friend and the hosts Tulpa. It can be possible for multiple people to play this game over one host on IRC or maybe even other Tulpae can join! GAME MODES: *please note Game modes can be changed at any time by the GM. PASSIVE: In passive game mode there are no enemies and players have no limits to what they can spawn or what magic they use. The GM also has no limits (apart from enemies). The setting must be peaceful e.g a flat-grass. AVALANCHE: 'Anyone who is acting GM can use a random word generator to come up with the faintest hint of a scenario whenever an action is fulfilled. Such as upon opening a known door in the world, the random world generator would come up with a noun and that noun would be behind the door. The GM could also have a general idea of where the story will go, either OC in his head or made up using some random words from the generator.' -No god mode magic allowed -No overpowered weapons such as Nukes or bio-weapons. -Object spawning is limited to whatever the GM says (mostly objects smaller than a small sofa) NED's Seal of approval: This game can be very fun and hilarious. It could boost speech and sentience development and make your Tulpa happy. It helps destroy the barrier of people and Tulpae not being able to properly interact. Now interaction is not limited to one host and their Tulpa forever alone. Have fun! This game isn't just for fun. It really can help bond a relationship and stuff, it is seriously a really amazing activity you can do to acheive eternal friendship and full sentience. I am lucky enough to have a brother to play this game with from time to time and I seriously reccomend it. On the IRC: How do I join a game? - Any Person can join a game simply by asking or saying something like /me enters or *i enter. Tulpae join by the host or Tulpa providing the GM (Game Master) either a link showing the Tulpas appearance or a description of their form (e.g human with brown hair and a tail yada yada.) How do I play? - Human commands can be said with either /me or a '*' (eg *Ned plays with the ball). Human speech is with [] brackets (eg [This is fun!]) Tulpa commands are set with '^' (eg ^silver breaks teacup.) Tulpa speech is with a '~' (eg ~hello everyone!) How do I leave? - Same as any other chat; say bye and leave. What are the Rules? - No sex No sexual harassment No violence The 3 rules above are an exception with NPC's Follow the rules or be kicked from the game Be creative Parroting is allowed for Tulpae that are not fully developed. The GM (Game Master) - The game master hosts the game. At the start of the game they must describe the wonderland setting and state the game mode and visualize the entire game. This requires skill (only participate for GM if you have the visualization skill). GMs can be given Half OP status to kick naughty Tulpae. All commands go through the GM and only the GM imagines whats happening. The other players do not have to visualize what is happening. Disclaimer - This game is in beta testing and needs a lot of tweaking. Therefore I am not liable to Brain damage or dead Tulpae. If you want to suggest any improvements to the game then go ahead!
  15. Starting off, on this fourm, I don't see much of anyone knowing much about/having experience with (what those not "the know" call) metaphysical practices. So, as a disclaimer, I'll have to explain a few very foreign concepts to some of you out there, I'll put the pieces together, then leave it amongst your discussion and answer some questions anyone may have! First, I'd need to tell you of my experience in spiritual knowledge through meditation, having knowledge from transmissions, deep past life hypnosis meditations, and my personal energy readings that I offer. There are plenty of resources online, with very beautiful souls here educating you about universal truths! Like always, I encourage to look deeper and ask yourself questions. I'd like to to start off with one question. What is existence? Well simply put, existence is an experience to be perceived. With that we call it consciousness. With every event, occurrence, and happenstance, you know of, you always are. You are experiencing a certain perspective of many in the omniverse. Everything has a perspective, much like how there are angles and places to put a camera. Moving along, we can use this knowledge to move to our next query. What is existence made out of? As school has taught you, it's made out of energy, movement, and vibration. You can easily see this as time passes through, things changing. Take your mother for instance, she once came here on earth as a child, slowly, as time goes in motion, she grows older. There are a variety of ways you may know this, with space being potential energy as well as time (the execution) is kinetic. For the sake of some concepts, I'll be using energy and vibration very interchangeably. Vibration can be described as a certain conceivable thought, point, a concept (space) that is occurring again (time). With the basic physics worked out (that you already have basic knowledge on beforehand) you can see how we also are applicable with this knowledge. What do we know? Now, this is more personal and requires you to look more within to find the answers you came here to find. As you read, take some time with yourself and your inner being. 1. Who are you? Why and what let you to identify this way 2. What is existence to you in a physical sense 3. Recall a memory before you were you? 4. Is there more to this world than what you've seen? 5. Why do you think you're here? Think back to your earliest memory and retrace your steps. 6. Think of all the hardships in your life, and how you changed because of them. How do you feel about your younger self? 7. Look around your surroundings, observe your thoughts and reactions. Identify each when it happens 8. What do you like? What do you love? Imagine something you don't know you would like. Taking all your answers, the information I provided, we can fully plunge ourselves into the deep understanding with what reality is in essence. All in all your reality is created by your energy in which, like magnets, attract similar people, places, occurrences and situations resonating with that same frequency. Think like radio signals and frequencies. And you can see that with certain aspects of your life contain a certain pattern, caused by one another of the same energy, which is also frequent energy in of itself. In order to experience this reality or frame of existence, you exist on the same frequency to have that experience As a side note for those aware: With research, documents, phenomenon, and experiences of shifting, tulpas, and astral projection being experienced all over the planet as of recently, we're waking up to the aspects of life that the collective has shamed and labeled to not be true, despite the evidence, conclusive unclassified federal documents, being present, and clear as day to many. It's a paradigm shift not all of us seem to be ready for. Unknown to many, these "practices" have been known to us for a very long time on earth. But in the recent few centuries, we've been looking in the wrong direction, lies have been spread, and social norms have wormed it's way into our brains. With that said, before moving foreword, I'd like you to clear your mind, release expectations, beliefs, and whatever have you to listen to what I will say. It will get bumpy, and yes, at this point I'm aware some of you think I'm on thin ice brimming to what you say is conspiracy commentary. Open your mind, you'll have to release what you have now to bring in the new, right? (Stick with me, we'll get through this) Existence is commonly separated through dimensions, to explain that concept, I suggest watching on or two of the following videos! With that said, you exist on a variety of planes of existences, your thoughts are ways to process, and transmute energy. Everything in this universe has already happened in the grand scheme of things, and as such, as we "create" we are in reality experiencing a specific energy. We sought out for it, we had the image, the time, the space in our minds, the energy. And it came to us. (To cut this short, because I had accidentally submitted before finishing, I could possibly answer questions, and see your thoughts below before we continue! Especially because this is/was a rough draft of the complete comprehensive explanation.)
  16. ah yeah, i have been wanting to make this thread a while ago, i finally got to it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- some info about us: Sammy: i'm the host 'n stuff, i'm apart of a large system of seven. Dr. Wee: shes a tulpa, i consider her my co-host, she was originally a fictive, she currently helps me with my huge system. Wisp: wisp is a tulpa, and she likes to do origami katie: katie was originally an NPC in our wonderland before becoming sentient, she used to be interested in witchcraft for a while. Sunny: sunny is a walk-in, she can be very hostile at times without reason Izzy: izzy's origin is currently unknown, shes very bubbly and loves to talk. ENA: ena is a fictive/soulbond from the series "ENA" she stutters a lot, unlike the others in my system, her voices is almost identical to her fictional counterpart. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feel free to ask us anything :)
  17. How does one integrate with another willing tulpa? We have multiple wanting to "merge" but- It seems too complicated. Can someone walk us through the steps?
  18. Earlier this week was having a lot of head pressure due to extended periods of visualizing, so as the pressures became annoying and persistent enough, I thought I should address it. I've noticed before that my head pressures are related to the way I was flexing my tongue muscles really hard and pressing it against my palate inadvertently. I have tried many times visualizing without doing this and, it works momentarily but whenever I stop paying attention to my tongue, there it goes again pressing my palate really hard once I start to concentrate into the visualization. I only notice that I'm doing that after I already start to feel the head pressures. By that time it's too late and it's already bothering me. So after two days of attempting to visualize with my tongue relaxed without success I thought that I should probably google that. So there I go googling the terms "tongue" and "meditation" and I came across this: https://www.easyayurveda.com/2020/01/31/khechari-mudra/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khecarī_mudrā Very weird, right? That's what I thought too. Basically, they stick the tongue up into the nasal cavity above the palate and use that to aid the process of meditation. So of course I went down this rabbit hole and found out that some people seem know how to do this naturally. This girl is an example of someone that has this ability naturally: https://youtu.be/ijpBUfOTBT0 Also other people report having head pressures identical to what we see in tulpamancy in this practice, here's an example of someone describing their head pressures in the context of Kriya meditation: https://www.reddit.com/r/kriyayoga/comments/mgpk73/tension_in_the_head_during_dhyana/ Described as "tension in the head that is somewhere between no pain and the pain you experience during a headache." This seems to me like it's the same kind of head pressure we experience in tulpamancy. At least to me. Also I forgot to mention that, they say THIS GIVES YOU IMMORTALITY. Which, of course, is bullshit otherwise there would be 1000 year old yogis walking around. Then I thought it would be a good idea to ask around here because, well to be honest, the people that practice this don't know how to explain it without anecdotes and dogmatic stories. Which is fine for spiritual people but I want to find what part is real and what part isn't. Or a deconstruction to find the line where the anecdotes end and the actual benefits of this practice begin. Or if there are any benefits at all. Here is a small list of claims about this technique: (which I have absolute no idea if it's true or not) -Helps you overcome hunger and makes it so that you go extended periods of time without food. -Gives you access to DMT that is stored in your pineal gland. By licking it directly. (yeah gross, the girl in the video seemed to get very high from doing it, she even says she's high afterwards) -The practitioner doesn't suffer from decay, disease and death. (this part I think it's flat out not true) -Gives you immunity to snake poison. (This one I think it's sorta possible, because some snake poison triggers your immune response and the response of the body is what kills the person not the poison itself, so technically by controlling your immune response you would therefore not die from the poison) So my questions are: 1-Does anybody else experience their tongue forcing up the palate unintentionally while visualizing or concentrating really hard? 2-If so, do you think this is related to Khechari mudra? Or is it just tension and I'm looking way too much into it? 3-Are those just stories and not meant to be interpreted literally? (If so people are doing a bad job at explaining that) 4-Is there something to this at all? Is it a practice worth looking into? Just thought it would be cool to ask here, since if I asked on their forum they would either not tell me because it's a closed practice, or even if they did tell me I wouldn't understand because the vocabulary they use is very far removed from anything I can contextualize. So what do you guys think? Is it all nonsense or not?
  19. I don't really believe in metaphysics stuff but today I did experience something that I think a lot of people would describe as being "astral projection". The reason this isn't in the metaphysics category is because it's not really metaphysics to me after all, or at the very least it doesn't require any sort of meta assumptions in order to experience this phenomena. So let me describe here the process and if there's someone that has done this before please tell me if this is the same thing as what they call "astral projection". Or even if you're skeptic like me you can still experience this phenomena and it may help if you're struggling with wonderland immersion like I was. I started by sitting down and closing my eyes, then started to rub my hands together in front of my face and trying to keep my awareness focused on the shape of my hands and arms in front of me. Slowly keeping track of their position and "sculpting" my own arms to get a real good memory of their shape and how it feels to move them without opening my eyes. Then afterwards I rested my right hand by the side of my body and started to use just the memory of a minute ago to move an imaginary right arm and interact with the real left arm. So it became left arm real, right arm imaginary. Then I proceeded to sculpt the imaginary right arm with the real one, and then the real one using the imaginary right arm. Going vice versa back and forth. Then I rested my left arm also by my side and started using both imaginary arms to sculpt each other. After a couple minutes of that I just put both imaginary hands on the back of my head as if I was going to do a sit up and I just yanked my perspective back by pushing my real head forward with my imaginary arms and immediately started sculpting the back of my head from that new perspective as if my real head was outside of me, then the rest of my real body. I felt completely removed from my body by keeping awareness of it from an outsider perspective, the longer I sculpted my body the more removed I felt from it, and the more intense and overwhelming the sensation of being outside became, it's even a little scary. it's very different from daydreaming and even imposition. Never experienced anything similar and I am now able to recreate this experience this way whenever I want. It doesn't last a lot at first because it's quite overwhelming but that only makes it seem more consistent with other peoples "astral projection" reports that I've seen so far. If this is the same as astral projection then I'm curious as to what to do next. I'm also pretty sure this can be used to force by having your tulpa sculpt you while looking through their perspective as well. Anyway feel free to share any info you may have on the subject or your own experience with this stuff. I'm quite interested to see what else is there to explore even though I don't really believe in the meta stuff I'm still interested in experiencing these kind of phenomena.
  20. The Tulpa Role Playing Game is an experimental project I devised to help tulpamancers kill some time in the wonderland and hopefully help out with the development of their tulpas a little. In short, the game is your run of the mill tabletop RPG. It's as basic as I could make it, and I'd never claim that it's anywhere near as good or detailed as the classics of the RPG genre. My goal here wasn't to revolutionize the genre. It was to help popularize tabletop games as a fun way for tulpamancers to bond with their tulpas and to provide a gateway into more advanced tabletop games whose detailed rules are harder to digest, but potentially a lot more rewarding. A small warning: I didn't design the game with novice tulpamancers in mind. The game requires a decent level of skill at visualization and on-demand wonderland building, and if one tries to play with a tulpa who isn't vocal yet, it could be more of a chore than fun. I'm not trying to imply anything definite though, just a possible risk that I wanted to point out. Disclaimer: Portions of this guide are based on the original thread this game was inspired by. Huge credit goes to NED for writing it. The link to the original thread is available at the bottom of this post. In the beginning, my wonderland got boring very fast. Talking to the tulpas felt easier via imposition, and maintaining a prolonged, detailed image in my head took a toll. I became very interested in finding a more entertaining way to practice active forcing in the wonderland. Looking for engaging activities or games became a regular thing for me. Usually, my searches didn't come up with much. Useful tips were scattered around here and there, sure, but there wasn't much that caught my eye. Then, I stumbled on a very interesting post about a turn based game which you can play with any number of people using nothing but your wonderland, and my horizons expanded. The game was very easy to pick up, and progress on the tulpas really picked up, too. Most importantly, we really enjoyed ourselves playing the game. Unfortunately, the original thread has since become inactive. As a side project, I began trying to refine the game, specifically by incorporating a D&D-esque style of gameplay into it, and this is the guide I decided to write. Suggestions are highly appreciated. The Philosophy of The Game The Tulpa RPG revolves around the concepts of actions in the wonderland and the risk of consequences. For every action, there is always a possibility of failure. For every kind of success and failure, there are numerous degrees of severity. For every degree of severity, there are numerous possible outcomes. For every outcome, you have a dynamically shifting wonderland, constantly impacted by the consequences of your actions and always ready to simulate more. And so long as the game is played, the cycle of actions and consequences will continue to repeat. I named this game 'The Tulpa RPG' for a simple reason. It was designed for the sake of tulpas, by a tulpamancer, with the input of his tulpas. It was crash-tested by said tulpas, edited with the help of said tulpas and it would not have reached its current state without their suggestions. Thanks, guys. Terminology Campaign - a session of the Tulpa RPG. The GM (game master) – The one who manages a campaign with the assistance of what I like to call their 'tools'. They can be the host, a non-system member or a tulpa (preferably well-developed because the GM role demands a great deal of quick thinking). It is recommended that the GM not play the game themselves. Game Master's tools - a die (if desired, multiple dice), roulettes or a coin. Players – Everybody besides the game master. Tulpas, hosts, friends, everybody. Players do not require any tools. In theory, any number of players is acceptable, but any higher than 4 players sounds convoluted to me, so my personal limit is 4 players per campaign. Archive - something like a piece of paper or a computer file to record the campaign. The details of the creation of and any long term changes to their characters- e.g. injuries, new clothing or scars- can be recorded here. Really, anything that's hard to remember, from NPCs' personalities to every plot point that's happened in the story so far can be recorded in the Archive for convenience. If you're really determined, you could even go as far as to record every piece of dialogue and action here. It's up to the players and GM, after all. Gameplay Character And Setting Creation To begin a campaign, the GM describes the initial environment to the players in great detail, describing everything noticeable in the area. In return, the players inform the GM about their character. They decide whether or not they'd like to use their actual body as their in-game appearance. They can choose anything to be a substitute body, anything or anybody from Jessica Alba to slenderman to a talking brick, the GM just needs to confirm if they can comfortably imagine the substitute. Players can choose to make their characters more detailed if they like. There are all sorts of personality typing systems and character roles out there. My go-to's are things like MBTI, Enneagram, D&D moral alignments and basing roles on video game RPG roles (yes, I rip off other RPGs a lot, but I can't make my game excessively basic, now can I?). The Actual Game The players then perform their first actions, thus officially starting the campaign. Interaction with the environment, even looking around, is an action. Interaction between players isn't usually considered an action, but if said interaction will somehow affect the environment, then it will be considered an action (like pretending to argue in order to trick an NPC or one player pushing another player at an enemy). So much as talking to an NPC, however, will be considered an action. The GM is the one who decides whether or not the requested actions are allowed to occur. If the GM feels that the requested action is too powerful or too convenient, then they can reject it and ask for a more acceptable one. Examples of actions: walking, conjuring items, brewing potions, searching crates, swimming, opening doors, shooting a gun, riding a dinosaur and head-butting a camel. The Tools To insert the element of probability into an action, the GM may choose to use one of the following tools. Just to clarify, using a tool is not mandatory every time the GM accepts action. The GM can choose to allow the action without a tool, guaranteeing its success. Coin: If the GM gets heads, then they must allow the players to carry out their actions with minimal alteration. If the GM gets tails, they can either deny the player outright, or do something more interesting. They can bring absolutely ANY challenge to the player in the case of tails, although for the sake of fairness, the challenges should be beatable. Dice: The higher the number that is rolled, the more the GM is allowed to screw with the players. The lower the number, the better the outcome. The guide further below provides more detail. This mode is more complicated in execution than the coin flip mode, but it can be very enjoyable with a GM who knows what they're doing. Roulette: Placing different options on various values on the roulette could be used. E.g., 'denied with no alterations', 'allow action but provide an additional obstacle', 'allow with no repercussions', etc. Rock-Paper-Scissors: Yes. I'm serious. This is for the most desperate of circumstances, where you play a game where you never expected to play a game. No coins on you, no dice, just a couple of people who are willing to play. That's when this comes in handy. A completely "tool-free" experience. The player and GM play a round of rock-paper-scissors. If the player wins, the outcome of the action goes in their favor. If the GM wins, they decide the outcome of their own volition. If the GM's hands hurt after all those rounds of RPS (mine sure did), then the player requesting the action and another player could do it instead, with the other player representing the GM. Invocation of The Gods: This is the most powerful action possible. To Invoke The Gods is to ask the GM directly for help, pushing the acceptable limits of the requested action's power. Remember when I said the GM may choose to use a tool? That's not applicable here. A tool must be used when Invoking The Gods. If the tool decrees that the GM must help, then a solution is provided to the current problem, right out of the GM's mouth. It's recommended that the GM's solution not be too convenient, so as to not spoil the game. It is, however, a gamble. If the tool fails the action, then the GM must provide punishment equal in magnitude to how relieving their help would have been. Since Invoking The Gods is a last-resort action, it means that the punishment is usually massive. Gameplay Styles This section essentially goes into detail about playing the game with multiple players. The two basic game modes I've come up with are: Unlimited Actions Round-Based Gameplay Unlimited Actions There are no limitations on the number or order of actions. A single player can perform a dozen actions in a row, or perform no actions for an hour. It's entirely up to the GM whether to restrain a player's action streak or to encourage a player to act at all. Round-Based Gameplay In this style, the game is structured in the form of rounds. Each round, every player has a limited number of actions, and are allowed to pass their turn if they don't want to act. Round-based gameplay can further be categorized based on the order of players. Ordered Rounds - there is a fixed order for players to carry out their actions. The order is decided before the game starts. If you have players A, B and C, and you decide that the order is A, B and then C, then throughout the game, every round will start with A's action, then B's action and then C's action. This style can help save the time and trouble of deciding an order every single round. Loose Rounds - there is no fixed order of players. In the case of A, B and C, if C wants to go first, then C goes first. If both A and C want to go first, then the order's decided by a mini-game. Rock-paper-scissors, for example. Or maybe the GM decides, either by themselves, or with a tool. This style can ensure that players act based on whether they want to act or not, rather than a preconceived order. Loose rounds are my personal go-to. Unlimited actions can lead to a very unstructured experience, but fixed rounds can force a reluctant player to act before a willing player whose idea might not be usable once the reluctant player changes the wonderland with their action. I find loose rounds to be a nice compromise. The End-Goal (Or Lack Thereof) of The Game The game only ends when the players decide to end it. There are no pre-required tasks I built into the game, there is no inherent win condition and there are no limits beyond the GM and the players' imaginations and the basic framework I outlined above. My personal "end goal" of the game is to find the most creative solutions to any problems the GM throws at the players, and to weave the most entertaining story possible. Skills Required & Potential Benefits From The Game First of all, the GM should have a good degree of skill at visualization. They should have practice rapidly constructing and deconstructing wonderlands. The game will require them to think on their feet, even more than players, and quickly conjure new challenges and outcomes. As for hosts, this game could help build creativity because quick, lateral thinking is encouraged by playing. Bonding with tulpas would be expected since a feeling of companionship develops in teamwork campaigns. This is especially true if the scenarios are very challenging or turbulent, which forces a high level of cooperation between players. The arrangement of host as GM and tulpa as sole player was always very appealing for me because it sounds like it could really help hosts gain a deep understanding of their tulpa. The constant back-and-forth of problems and solutions between host and tulpa really sounds like a fantastic opportunity to build intimacy and learn the nuances of a tulpa's personality. The development of participating tulpas is encouraged by the game because they are exposed to various types of actions and decisions. The game can help flesh out their personalities based on how they approach the game, their style of speech, their interests being incorporated into campaigns, etc. Parroting's an option in the case of an undeveloped tulpa. It should, however, be noted that it is rather difficult to play with an undeveloped tulpa in the first place, and it should also be noted that such parroting effectively becomes a form of narration rather than a full-fledged campaign. The game could also help reduce the social anxiety that some tulpas may develop because they get the opportunity to interact with people who are not part of the local system. Like I mentioned above, the constant back-and-forth of problems and solutions between host and tulpa is a great place to build friendship, so both sides are plenty benefited. Double Dice In short, my principle is as follows: the higher the number is, the worse the outcome. Double dice rolls are my personal recommendation since they provide a good number of outcome severity levels. The following is an outline of the outcomes under a double dice roll. Snake eyes: the GM provides the best possible (reasonable) outcome, even better than what the request action requests. The GM will be forced to shower you with golden rainbows. 3-5: the GM simply accepts the action. 6: Failed action with a positive outcome. 7: Neutral. The GM can choose to re-roll or create an outcome themselves (preferably not a very significant outcome). 8: Successful action with a negative outcome. 9-11: the GM simply fails the action. Box cars: Destruction imminent. Brace yourselves, players. A 12 effectively means that the GM is now allowed to bring hell on earth. Probably best for the GM not to ruin things too much if the action under consideration isn't particularly major In short, 2-6 are positive outcomes, 8-12 are negative outcomes and 7 makes it the GM's decision. The probability distribution is a normal distribution. Snake eyes and box cars are the rarest outcomes, while a 7 is the likeliest outcome. Multiple Coin Flips These are some ideas that can be fun to incorporate, but I should mention that I haven't extensively tested it. A shout out to Sands who largely inspired this. Multiple coin flips could be used in appropriate cases like the following. Asking the GM for help could require multiple heads. Double heads gets help, a head and a tail means that the GM is not required to help or punish you, and a double tails means that the GM is obliged to rain hell on you. The number of flips and number of required heads could be decided by the GM based on the character's skill. As an example, let's picture the process of baking a loaf of bread. A character who cooks casually could take two flips with only a double tails resulting in failure, and a single heads would be enough to cover it. A chef character who has been cooking for their whole life could take three flips with just one head required. A character who's trying to bake for the first time would, by this logic, do a double flip with double heads needed to succeed. When there are varying levels of intensity in consequences. For example, imagine you're trying to shoot a crazed man running at you. Two flips for three levels, i.e. as "miss shot", "shot grazes leg" or "shot hits leg directly". TT gets you 'miss', HT or TH gets you 'graze' and HH gets you 'direct hit'. Tips For The Game Master The GM's role, in my opinion, can be difficult for two main reasons. First, deciding whether to accept an action request is often a complicated judgement. Secondly, it can be difficult to conjure spontaneous challenges to the players in the event of a failed event. This section should hopefully help. Try to account for the characters in the request when deciding whether or not to accept an action. A 6'5" battle-maiden is likely to be able to lift a boulder and throw it off a cliff. A pet seahorse is not. It can be helpful to use a 'buff' system. Players can get 'buffs' at certain points in the universe. E.g., strength buff at a gym, the ability to build bombs at an underground resistance army, etc. They can then perform these actions without needing the GM to use a tool. Note, however, that the GM can still use a tool if they choose to. The GM's goal is to shake up the story and keep it interesting. If, however, the story is going in a good direction, then it's best not to interfere with the players very much. Using a tool for simple actions is tedious, and deciding to use a tool for all actions, even the easiest ones, makes the game unrealistically based on chance. I'd recommend saving tools for actions where the fun would be enhanced by luck. For example, 'defuse bomb', 'snipe target' or 'knock out target by bashing shield against head' are actions that could go either way because they are heavily affected by factors external to the players (unknown bomb model meaning the wire you cut is based on chance, wind speed changing the course of the bullet and whether you can hit a good spot on the dude's head, for example). These are good places to use a tool, in my opinion. Another place to use a tool is on characters whose personalities are undecided. For example, to bribe a bartender, a coin could be flipped to decide the action, and as a side consequence, the bartender's honesty, greediness, wealth, etc. are also decided. If the action fails, some of the bartender's personality traits are decided along with the consequence: the bartender is either honest (bartender rejects bribe) or avaricious (bartender demands more money). If the action succeeds, the bartender's personality is fleshed out in other ways: they accepted the bribe because they're maybe dishonest, greedy (but not so greedy that more money is demanded) or poor (but maybe otherwise moral), so they accept the bribe. These qualities will remain in the bartender for the rest of the game, and the important thing to note here is that the tool played a large role in deciding the bartender's personality, not the GM alone. You might want to pause the game for a little while if you need time to think up a development in the game. No shame in not immediately coming up with something to put behind that giant door that the players spent half an hour trying to open. It's better to make sure their efforts weren't in vain by taking some time to work on a great idea. I know I said that the game has no fixed end goal, but that doesn't mean that it should have no goals. Goals are those little packets of dopamine that keep players interested. Short-term and long-term goals should be set by the GM. They keep players feeling rewarded for their efforts and prevent the game from feeling aimless and stale. Have a sense of humor. Often, one of the best ways for a GM to make the game interesting is to just make a cliche story funny. Even in horror and drama films and books, there are jokes. They keep things fresh. An endless onslaught of seriousness can get stale. Humorous breaks between missions in a zombie overrun apocalypse can really bond the players and the GM. Obviously, drama is powerful and engaging, but jokes can go a long way, too. There are plenty of great articles online for further advice on the topic with authors far more experienced than I am. Going through them would definitely be very helpful. After all, that's how I got started myself. Tips For The Players Though I have a personal bias towards the GM roles since that's what I usually like to play, no RPG would work without the players. Here are some traditional tips that are customarily taught to players to help even the most novice RPG players enjoy themselves more and make the overall experience better for everyone. I'll try to add links to articles I got these tips from, since the authors deserve their due credit for helping my sorry ass when I was starting out. Try to be proactive. This is the classic tip. I can't even count how many articles I've read that said this before me, and begin to fathom how much people swear by it. All I know is that it warms my heart as a GM when a player has a good idea and goes for it, and it usually makes the game a lot more interesting. Help the GM out by making things happen and serving the story. When it comes down to it, the players' decisions drive the game. Try to fail. No joke. Failing over and over again is one of the funniest and funnest parts of the game. Failing in hilarious ways over and over again can make the build up to victory all that much more intense, leaving an immensely satisfying taste in your mouth when victory finally arrives. And it's surprising how powerful, immersing and affecting a genuine, "once and for all" failure can be. Failure can really remind you how much you've ended up caring about your character and the game, and though it can be really bitter, it can also be a very "real" experience. Tying into the point above, don't make perfect characters. Real people aren't perfect, and yes, I know it's called role-playing, but is it really believable role-playing if your characters consistently win with the classic combination of Hollywood-esque flawlessness, snarky wit and endless one-liners? Personally, I think that's boring, much more boring than a character that does dumb things from time to time and makes things interesting. Link to the article that taught me this (it also happens to be my favorite article about RPGs to date). Be a team player. Be accommodating. Place value on others' fun, as well. Have a sense of humor. It heightens the experience for everybody around. Don't forget that your own happiness and enthusiasm is just as contagious as others'. Just to reiterate the point from the GM tips section, there are a vast catalog of articles out there that really help players out. The points I made in this section, in fact, are greatly inspired by things I've read. Check out everything you can. Example Scenarios Here are some examples of starting scenarios to help illustrate how the game can be played. A murder mystery in a European Mansion (some foresight on the GM's part really helps) A snowy forest at night, auroras in the sky A cave in a mountain Deep in a copper mine As a soldier in a medieval army On the moon, looking down at earth A windy desert at night, a full moon in view A blank, white world that the players fill up themselves In a locked room that players have to escape A haunted house As vampires in a coven Buried alive in a coffin Getting revived as a ghost in a previous campaign where the player died so that they get to haunt everybody they met in the previous campaign! Text Based Gameplay I sometimes play this game with a friend online, and we developed a notation system specifically for that purpose. If multiple people from the same system or computer are playing, then use initial: or name: to differentiate. The rest of the notation is as follows: - action : speech [GM announcements] For example, U - offer the shopkeeper three acorns in exchange for the goods we tried to steal. NaVi: Guys, we need to find some shelter for the night. [Tails, you fail to convince the shopkeeper, he shouts, "Get out before I call the guards!"] [Twelve, an asteroid randomly falls on the city, destroying it without leaving a trace. You must look for shelter elsewhere.] I plan to post a sample campaign here, but I most often play exclusively in the wonderland, so it's going to take me a while to get used to recording everything down. Final Notes This is a link to the post that inspired mine. I must express how much grateful I am to the original author for thinking this up. Some of the campaigns the tulpas and I have played were among the best bonding experiences we've had, and it'd be an understatement for me to just describe the game as 'fun'. Here's to hoping you guys feel the same once you've given it a try! Thanks for reading, and happy playing! Changelog & Future Plans
  21. Hi! Sorry for the title, I didn't know exactly how to phrase it. Also, this sounds like a lot of the posts here, but it is actually different. Anyway, I recently started creating my tulpa, but I want to feel her presence more often. Whenever I can remember, I try to narrate to her, but sometimes I forget to actually think about her and am just talking to myself. I also can't remember to constantly think about her, because I get distracted pretty easily and sometimes have to concentrate on something a lot. I know you don't have to constantly talk to tulpas, but I know it can be beneficial and I like talking to her. (I also do active forcing sometimes, but not as often as passive) Thank you for answering!
  22. I apologize if this isn't the correct place for this, but if you are going to move it, please notify me so I know where to go, thanks! So I think we might be a gateway system, or soulbounds, or possibly a combination. My understanding of a gateway system: A system that A) has connections to other realms, and the head-mates are able to enter and exit those realms as they please, and B) A system that is mainly comprised of non-permanent walk-in head-mates. Soulbounds I don't totally understand, but something I saw (on a Wikki,) seemed to depict them as more permanent. why we might be a gateway system: We have had a looooottt of head-mates through the ages. Around 10+ different ones, and some who "changed" completely. Now where did they go? I... don't know. Some of them, we decided they were going to explore the real world because my mind wasn't suited for them, sometimes this was "the real world" other times they would go other places, I'm not certain where, but they weren't in my mind any more. Ethel has lots of memories from another dimension. She keeps remembering more, and some are becoming clearer. We realllllyyy easily get walk-ins who I basically invalidate so much they disappear.* These can simply be characters who I attach to and begin to have conversations with, or just a pretty Pinterest drawing character. Sometimes they are simply made-up characters in my mind, but other times they seem to actually have a mind of their own. And for the second, no matter how hard I try, we can't (typically) keep a head-mate for over a few months, some are exceptions. I have only truly done the technical tulpa creation process for... two. Two tulpas. One who was a merge, and my first tulpa. We are a completely endogenic system, but I think that they can still be gateway systems. I have some questions/concerns about being a gateway system. The following could be interpreted as invalidating gateway systems, I am not trying to do that, I just do that sometimes to myself. Questions -What are other gateway systems experiences? -Are there any things that could also be considered gateway system "things"? -Does it sound like I am a part of a gateway system? -Is it normal that even though I could be a gateway system, we also struggle with possession and switching? -I can't do anything that the others can do (portal-going wise), because I am the host. Is that correct? Concerns: I feel like I might just be faking this... like I know I'm not faking any of my experiences, and I feel so connected to this concept, but there's the little voice in the middle of my mind that shouts "your just faking this!! You can't be a part of a gateway system!!!" I do connect to the term, but it also makes me a little nervous, I feel really attached to my current head-mates, and I don't want them to leave. *I don't know how to stop this behavior. I have no idea how many head-mates I would have if I let them be, but they do leave naturally, especially when there is more than three of us. And being a bigger system feels so natural and comforting. (This is connecting to my other * in which I said "We realllllyyy easily get walk-ins who I basically invalidate so much they disappear.") I haven't always noticed this at the time it's happening, but looking back I can see plenty of examples. I used to just blame this on having a big imagination, and so I would "imagine" they went on a trip to spain, or had lots of memories that even I couldn't come up with. Of course, there's a 40-50% chance that this is just me having a big imagination. do I even understand what a gateway system is? Is it even fair for me to possibly consider myself part of one? Closing/tl;dr: I might be a part of a gateway system, a term I really connect to, but I do have skeptical feelings about myself being one. I'm not even sure I understand what they are. From my understanding, I match it, but from another's understanding, I might not be it at all. I think that since I connect to this in a way I don't normally connect to something, it could be a sign. (Why I think I am a gateway system: We are super prone to walk-ins, and have had a LOT of head-mates who were pretty short-term. They also went just... away. Like into a different realm, as I "imagined") I would really appreciate some feedback and guidance about this. I can give more information on any of these things, just ask. Thanks to anyone who responds : ) (After more reading on soulbounds, I do not believe we are soulbounds, but someone else might believe otherwise.
  23. So I do a lot of mindfulness, as in, daily mindfulness meditation for almost two years, with other mindfulness stuff featured (walking, eating, body scans etc), to the point of having experiences bordering the psychedelic in intensity ("being so present you kinda stop existing and feel everything at once", for lack of a better description), and I notice as I further engage with this practice, my dissociation radically declines. I used to have heavy depersonalisation-derealisation disorder and was very "unintegrated" as a person, like I lived in a very foggy state of mind and my sense of self was fragmented and discontinuous and I maladaptively daydreamed, whereas now things feel more real than they ever have, and I can make sense of myself as a person, although there's still work to be done. I do have a tulpa per se, had her for a few years, but since a major breakdown two years ago, she's been in er, "low-energy mode", and has regressed substantially, and until now I've not had the time or space to really resume practice more than a "5 minute maintenance". Hence my question: is mindfulness practice anathema to tulpamancy, and/or vice versa? Given it drastically reduces dissociation, and tulpamancy may augment it. On the other hand, did not the concept of Tulpas arise from Buddhist practices, of which mindful breath-focus meditations are a staple (Vipassana, Jhana etc)? Has anyone out there got experiences with both of these things? Are they reconcilable? Like, am I just cancelling out the tulpa with mindfulness, or invoking DP/DR with tulpamancy?
  24. I don't have notifications button, messages or link to switch accounts anymore on mobile and I don't know any other way to get those. They work on Desktop.
  25. (Copied from Reddit) (Apologies in Advance; while I’ve been living with Tulpas for years, I’m not well acquainted with communities like these, so please pardon any misconceptions and/or insensitive views that may present themselves with this post.) TLDR: I dated my Tulpa for 2 years, and I broke up with her recently, but I regret doing it for the reason I did. Am I right in feeling so? Full: So I first met Maala in a dream of mine. I was 12 at the time, and she was around the same age. We quickly became friends, but after the dream we didn’t interact much. I mostly relied on going into my dreams to try to find her after that, but when I was 19, I learned about Tulpas, and I felt that it would be a good way for me to find her again. From there, I brought her back as a Tulpa, and I mostly relied on her as a companion through the stress of college and my development of anxiety and depression. We started dating shortly after that as well. Looking back, I realize that it was a terrible decision to use her as what was essentially a substitute for a therapist, as well as a crutch for my lack of self-love; I had hoped that her love for me would be able to compensate for my lack of love for myself. It also must not have been easy for her to have to deal with my breakdowns and self-harm all the time. But we kept dating up until last Tuesday (11/10/20). Things were getting much better for most of this year, but in the days leading up to the breakup, I began to think a lot about my future (a not-yet-started career, and a future family). At the time, I didn’t see Maala as someone that I would be able to have a functioning family with, even though I loved her. This was one of the reasons that I began to consider if I had to let her go (that and my aforementioned mental-health issues, my low self-esteem, and the toxic environment that both of those problems of mine created.) Ultimately, I think it was a panic decision. The problem is that I can’t help but think that her being... immaterial was a shallow and selfish reason to break up with her. While I did have other reasons for the breakup, as explained above, that was the chief reason I chose to go with. After the breakup, I began to imagine if I were to break up with a human who couldn’t have children, and I began to think that it was selfish of me to break up with her for that reason. While I‘m still convinced that breaking up based on mental-health was understandable, I feel guilty about choosing a human to start a potential family with over her. I do plan to try to salvage a friendship out of this relationship, after we both have had some time to deal with the breakup, but I can’t help but think that I squandered the relationship we could’ve continued, along with the friendship itself, and that I’m a poor friend/host for doing so... If I may, could I please have some input/insight from this community on this issue? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. (UPDATE—11/18/20: So Maala contacted me again on Monday, and we agreed to meet again on Friday. I still want to have some kind of relationship with her, but I’m torn whether we should just be friends or if I should try again with our relationship, since I admittedly still have feelings for her.)
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