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Biskoi

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Day 0

Jul 25th 2012 0130

 

Decided on personality traits - didnt go into the 30 - 35 region due to wanting tulpa to 'find itself'. Also, hello tulpa forums! Will expand on these traits in my head a bit more before i start any actual "creating". Planning on visualizing a blue orb, and then talking/speaking to it about these traits, 25 minutes each.

 

Personality/Traits

 

  • Creative (Done)
  • open-minded ? FUCK THAT SHIT
  • slightly verbose (Done)
  • logical (Done)
  • rational (Done)
  • kind (Done)
  • humorous (Done)
  • lighthearted (Done)
  • somewhat sarcastic (Done)
  • understanding (Done)
  • relaxed (Done)
  • A WILL MADE OF STEEL (Done)
  • persistent (Done)
  • helpful (Done)
  • musical (Done)
  • caring
  • extrovert (Done)
  • brave
  • realist-slightly-optimist
  • prideful (Done)
  • attentive (Done)
  • assertive
  • curious (Done)
  • slightly insensitive
  • "touchy feely"? wat
  • not homosex like fede wolololol

 

Square, white room for a "wonderland". With a door, one which i plan to have lead to an actual wonderland once i get better at visualizing. Just gonna do Horricide's concentration exercise tonight.

Progress log!!

"What kind of tupper would chop off your penis, bite off your tounge, and scare the living shit outta you?" - Sorryman54 on my tulpa

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I almost quoted the OP.

 

A couple things.

 

Don't get all judgemental when you're doing this, you seemed unsure of yourself at the end of those traits.

 

Tulpaforcing a srs bsns. Don't neglect your tulpaforcing like too many of us have.

 

Are you going to give your tulpa a form?

I flatly refuse to believe the relationship between you and your tulpa has developed so far that you are willing to have sex, especially since you have only known this person for two weeks. Give it a month, at the very least; It's important your tulpa develops properly.

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30 minutes of theconcentration exercise... good god!! Much harder than i thought. Kept getting distracted by "playing back" songs inside my head. As for a form... yes, she will be human. Will start visualising her as short, blonde, then see where my mind takes me from there. Trying to be vague - surprise me, subconscious!!


Correction... i was doing the "dots" exercise, not horricide's...

 

BUT, here's something i remembered.

 

Way back when i was a kid, i was religious - same religion as my family. This was Buddhism, as i live in Thailand. When we went to worship, we sometimes were told to meditate, and told to imagine looking at ourselves sitting cross legged' hand in hand' from above. Then, we got lower and lower until we go "into" our heads... at which point we were told to repeat the process. Basically, yourself within yourself, or a box within a box - wallhack into a box and then wallhack into the box inside it and so forth. I did that just now, too, and found i didn't get distracted as much. Anyways yeah, something to think about for me.

Progress log!!

"What kind of tupper would chop off your penis, bite off your tounge, and scare the living shit outta you?" - Sorryman54 on my tulpa

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Day 0.5

Jul 25th 2012 16:25

 

Still doing concentration exercises. Having difficulty keeping my eyes closed without "ramming" them shut - eyes very jittery. Noting something here: found exercise to be much easier right after i wake up - the first time i tried this exercise was around 0130 in the morning. Rest seems to be important - wont be able to force right before bed like i was planning to do anymore.

 

With that said, I'm still experiencing difficulties -songs, random thoughts, images, whycantiholdthisdot.jpg

 

Going to keep going with the conc exercise in 10 minute chunks every hour, as in 10min work 50min whateverthefuckiwant

Not planning on working with personality until tomorrow, the 26th.

 

 

 

Edit @ 19:02

 

I have been doing it wrong.

I have been "visualizing" by trying to see things on the back of my eyelids, as Chupi accurately put in this thread: http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Visualization-Can-t-see-a-dang-thing

 

Now with that, im still able to visualize, but with extremely frequent distractions - one every two seconds or so, to the point that im barely able to concentrate.

 

Thinking about putting off "Day 1" for more concentration time.

 

 

Edit @ 22:08

 

Decided to give myself another day to properly do those exercises. Actual forcing to begin on the 27th if all goes well.

Progress log!!

"What kind of tupper would chop off your penis, bite off your tounge, and scare the living shit outta you?" - Sorryman54 on my tulpa

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I'm going to go ahead and call it

Day 1

Jul 26th 2012 21:16

because I started doing personality

 

Visualizing a card with a dot on it in my head is so god damn hard i decided to jump into visualizing wonderland and then working on personality RIGHT AWAY (visualizing a dot is harder than visualizing a beach what)

In my sessions so far, I sit wherever i'm about to start forcing, close my eyes, and then open my eyes "in my mind" so that im visualizing where i'm sitting. Then i go to the nearest door, which will lead to my wonderland NO MATTER WHAT because this is my territory bitch

 

Anyways it opens up to a beach, generic as hell, but i don't actually have somewhere i really like to be. Maybe I'd like to be inside a vagina but i dont think i'd be able to concentrate very well there.

 

And then i open up a trapdoor beneath the sand, which reveals some steps down into a completely white, tiled room: tiles are like 1m wide/tall. It's where i do my shit: personality traits, visualizing, playing drums while my tulpa lays on the floor nekkid etc.

 

So then whenever I get to work i just make a tile pop out of the floor, like, so that it kinda turns into a square box or something. Then i sit my tulpa on it. I make another tile pop up, and sit on that one myself. Also i have taken to wearing a robe, like the ones jedi wear, while i'm in there.

 

And then i get to doing personality, but:

I'm going to be doing the "visualizing" part of the tulpa creation process at the same time.

So I'm visualizing her and then just speaking (in my mind) to her about the traits, why she has them (You're curious because you want to be able to understand things, because you know things dont work because of magic ;~;, and because you just like filling your head with useless knowledge like your host does.), and other things which i dont even remember anymore. I just tell her about what her trait actually is - as in i define the trait - and how she would act because of it.

 

I was able to do creative, curious, rational, logical, and musical over two sessions at

  • 15:10 - 15:40, on the bed
  • 18:40 - 19:00, in the car while listening to music.

 

During my first session, I built up my wonderland, came up with everything, started personality/visualizing, and ended up forcing up some speakers connected to an ipod where i then proceeded to try and "play" a song in my head. I don't even.

i forced up a drum kit too lol

 

Second session was the same, except this time i ended with playing a jazzy piano piece. This won't be the last time i do this.

 

Might have been some deviation: I originally visualized her with long hair, and somewhat short, and also flat... over the sessions she somehow came to have her hair tied in a bun, much taller... and bustier.

 

That feeling when your loli tulpa doesnt want to be loli...

 

 

 

An issue with visualizing anything at all:

It's like im visualizing in windowed mode. There's all this free space on my screen/mind, but for some reason i can only really hold it in a small space, near the top of my... screen? I do try to stretch it to fill out, but then i keep thinking i'm trying to see something on the back of my eyelids, because then i can see those things you see when you close your eyes and squeeze them. Other than that, it's been pretty alright so far.

 

Total 50 mins.

Planning to get another 40 in before bed.

1341504608477.jpg.144efd21b090ac1017fccd87b924f658.jpg

Progress log!!

"What kind of tupper would chop off your penis, bite off your tounge, and scare the living shit outta you?" - Sorryman54 on my tulpa

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Day 2

Jul 27th 2012 09:47

Had my 40 minute session as planned last night.

 

01:14 to 01:56... that makes 42 minutes, totaling to 1hr 32m

Was able to do traits: Kind, caring, attentive, added brave too, and went over some of the traits which had already been covered. Headaches. Most of the time they were pressures, but there were quite a few spikes of pain in the left hemisphere. Asked a question, right = no, left = yes... and then all pain/aches suddenly stopped... ;~;

 

Also, as soon as i started visualizing, suddenly felt bloody holyshitgoddamn excited, ended up running in and hugging her lol. From there, decided to take her out of the basement and to stay topside... when we went back up it was already night and the stars were up. Did forcing there. I'm really finding it difficult to say much about each trait, and i think out of those 40 minutes, only 20 was of me doing actual work. Besides that, it's me repeating myself, and just messing about/having fun with her in general.

 

Short update. Don't really remember what happened last night anymore.

Planning for another hour (and maybe +30mins) today.

Progress log!!

"What kind of tupper would chop off your penis, bite off your tounge, and scare the living shit outta you?" - Sorryman54 on my tulpa

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So how big is her dick now.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Looks good so far. I got a couple questions.

 

1) What relationship are you looking for in your tulpa (i.e waifu, friend, ect.)?

 

2) Are you planning to spend the rest of your tulpa?

 

3) How do you think your tulpa will feel when you have a real family (discredit this if you don't feel like contributing to the gene pool.)

 

Thanks! And welcome to the forums!

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