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Teens


Lumanatrix

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I have a question for you. What flickered through your mind, and/or your headmate(s) mind(s) before you clicked this thread after reading the title?

 

Did the word "Teens" automatically make you think "drama"?

 

Did you guess that this was going to be a rant about how awful teenagers are?

 

If you know me, did you see that the thread was created by me and guess that this would be me ranting about how awful adults are to teens?


Well, this is none of the above. Not exactly.

 

I am a teenager, and I know that there is a prejudice against teens. I feel like it's a very sensitive and tricky subject, because as soon as an adult realizes that they are talking to a teenager I see them close their minds. More than a few here believe that people my age should not be doing tulpamancy. And why? 

 

One of the reasons stated was that all I would do with my tulpa is have sex with them.

 

As if I am incapable of thinking of anything else besides sex because I am a teenager. False.

 

Another reason stated was that I can't make smart decisions, and that creating a tulpa would ruin my life.

 

To this I will respond like a pretty damn stereotypical teen, and say "I know what's best for me."

 

You want to know why you hear that so often from teens? Because we are shown studies that apparently prove that all teens have a mental illness. You're not going to believe "I'm different" because apparently there's no child on the planet who thinks they're not mature for their age, so there's really nothing else to say.

 

Perhaps a better response to that would be...

 

Someday my tulpa will tell you how great everything worked out.

 

Now on to my main point. I am here to ask your honest opinion on teenagers and why you think the prejudice exists.

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I thought it would be a hangout thread for people age 13-18 and was sad we're older than that

 

lotsa teenagers cause "drama" because they're not totally mature yet and haven't either learned to chill and that things aren't so important, or are still insecure about things (I don't mean in a Linkin Park way, just that some things are a big deal to them when to others they're not), so when people see that sort of stuff often they sometimes make assumptions about all of them but I think most reasonable people know you shouldn't make assumptions about entire groups of people

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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This is always a very... sensitive topic, as it's hard to word things without coming off as a pompous ass. But I'm gonna try my best here.

 

Teens have a tendency to feel they know who they are- and as far as they know, yes, they do- but they tend to not realize that your teens, all the way up to, arguably, your late twenties, are one of the most self-altering parts of your life. Your views will most likely change, as well as your opinions. You will be an entirely different person by the end of it. Whether it be for the better or worse, you will change and eventually solidify some core values. Does change still happen later on? Yes, but typically not to the extent of this age period, without intentionally doing so, or special circumstances.

 

Now, Tulpamancy ideally is supposed to be a permanent change in your life that isn't going to go away. You're making a person to live the rest of your life with. But before I directly relate this to tulpamancy, I'd like to use the example of tattoos.


Say you're 14, you want a tattoo that defines you. You want to show off to your friends, and you get something extravagant- assuming your parents allow it. For the hell of it, we'll say it's a Naruto tattoo because you really really liked Naruto and saw him as an inspiration.

 

Now, while this might seem great at 14, odds are by your 30s, you're going to regret it and get it replaced. Hell, I can't even look at stuff I wrote when I was 16 without cringing, because I was such a different person, so you can only imagine how a tattoo everyone will constantly see feels. Not to mention, with the tattoo, you will have to pay money, and go through a lot of pain to get rid of it. The idea being, don’t get a tattoo, something permanently attached, while you’re still growing exponentially. You will regret it.


Okay, so what if we change it back to Tulpas? Tulpas are very similar in that, they’re supposed to be permanent. There with you always. Like the tattoo, you may really want a Naruto tulpa. Or hell, a really aggressive tulpa to push you, or something.. Interesting. Something to please you.

 

The problem is, Tulpas are not tattoos. You can’t just zap them away with money: They are people. And if you ever dissipate them, you are killing a person. While that might not mean much to the person if they've stopped believing, it doesn't make it any less horrible or painful. It's a huge responsibility not to be taken lightly.

 

You could go many routes as you grow, and none of them are certain. You could grow to not “need” your tulpa anymore. You could grow to not believe in them and see them as sinful. You could also stick with it, but regret the tulpa you made as you made one to fill a certain role, and now you see that kind of person as toxic and abusive. There’s no many routes it could go, and very few are good ones.

 

This, and at a young age, committed relationships aren’t really ones you should be getting into, as you typically aren’t mature enough to handle it. I dare say there’s a sense of self-centered behavior in younger people, having been one myself and experienced them. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing for them- as focusing on the self may help them understand and grow themselves through this phase- It’s not good for a relationship. Especially with your tulpas.

 

A relationship with your tulpa should be 50/50. A tulpa isn’t just there to help you, they will need to be helped as well, sometimes. They will need you sometimes. Your support, your love, your patience, something they should give in return.

 

It’s a form of mutual respect, and that is something that, if you can’t give people in real life you form bonds with, you should not be making a tulpa, no matter your age, really. It’s just that this is more common in younger people, to lack it. And this could lead to the host depending too much on the tulpa, putting too much strain on them without giving anything back to them- which is not a good way to live.

 

So in basic terms, the reason this stigma exists is because one, you could grow out of it, thus abandoning your tulpa, and two, it could lead to some huge relationship issues as time moves forward with your tulpa. Will it even out eventually with enough work? If you push at it, yes. But it’s best to just wait and work when you’re more settled, to have a more stable home for your tulpa to develop and be loved properly- and for them to love you in return.

 

Not every teen is like this, obviously. There’s exceptions. But exceptions shouldn’t dictate one’s opinions on matters, what they observe should.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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I think, as long as you all make it through, tulpas will grow with their hosts. Lumi and the other three all matured together (well, Reisen seems like she never had to change) because they were all in the same brain that was changing itself. And even if some things that happened were silly or dramatic, I think Lumi was probably better for it? and none of them have regrets. If you make tulpas when you're young, it just means you gotta grow up together.

 

Just try not to, you know, get too dramatic and get on bad terms with them... you should support each other through hard times, that's like the best thing about tulpas

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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To be honest, drama was the last thing i thought about when i clicked on this. What came into my mind first was teenager tulpa or something bit ehh, that isn't important lol.

 

I am gonna stick to what lucilyn and saylin said. There will be point that your opinions will change, even seeing yourself when you were a teenager as a dramatic child. I've grown very dramatic in my teen years, and went through some phases as well. I thought i was making the right decisions to myself.

 

Looking back right now i've realized how very childish and immaturely i was back then. I admit that i am very awful to myself when thinking about my actions when i was younger ,But that is all part of growing up.

Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas

Summer

Myrtle

Cherry

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The first thing that flickered through my mind was thoughtforms who take the form and personality of teens.

 

Hey, you know what the weird thing about adults is? They always think they know more than they do. (I'm glad I will never grow up. :p)

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Guest Anonymous

I don't know what defines "teens", "adults", "drama", or "sensitive". I think English is often vague. It's difficult for me to speak without others misinterpreting. I think this thread was founded on blanket statements. I think answering them with more blanket statements is a mistake. Would I promote understanding if I voiced an opinion on "teens"?

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[Hail] I thought this thread was going to be one by a teen asking whether they should even consider making a tulpa due to their age or a thread ranting that teens shouldn't be allowed in the community or should make tulpas. Was really worried that the thread was the latter because that is NOT something I believe. Was probably worried about that because I recently got into an argument with someone else in the trans community who was arguing that trans teens shouldn't be allowed to transition (which I think is BS).

 

For the record of all here, I am in my very late 20's bodily.

 

I've meet teens over the years who were quite mature or at least mature on a few critical axes and meet people my age who were less mature than the average teen. At any given age, there is such a huge variation in the average and then there is such thing as lop-sided maturity. There are many many teens who are mature enough along the right axes to be able to make the decision to make a tulpa or not and stick with it and be a good host in the long term. And well, there are many many people my age who are not. Different fractions of any given age are mature enough, yes, but that is just it, different fractions.

 

And as Lucilyn pointed out, when a person makes another, then they both can grow up together through life. There are many friendships where both friends grew up together and were friends for several decades. Similar thing. It is a lot like growing up with siblings in many ways.

 

I've known many people who were plural from early childhood, whether by choice (made an imaginary friend who then came to life or some other variant of tulpamancy) or not (traumagenic or endogenic systems). I am in this group, though wasn't aware that there was any sort of plurality stuff going on till maybe age 17. Many of them grow up together without problems. Some do have problems and work them out. Some have problems and don't really work them out. So much variation. But the fact that quite a few manage to grow up without problems or eventually work through them makes me think that saying "teens shouldn't make tulpas" is absolutely ridiculous.

 

This all said, I would recommend teens think about it a bit more cautiously and ask themselves to really think about the long term aspect. But that is about it. I think everyone needs to think very hard on the subject, though some need to think more on it. If one is on the younger side, If one has not done much introspection, if one is scared of their mind in certain ways, if one has a hard time sharing, and/or etc.; one needs to think more on the subject. And frankly, the ones after the first one are more worrisome than the first one (the age one).

 

Really, the big determiner is answer to the question "will I respect them as a person and live with them for the rest of my life even if I find that tulpamancy was not for me and/or they do not end up as planned and I will try to work things out with them if it turns out we don't like each other to achieve a peaceful co-existence just like co-workers who don't like each other can often do?" The understanding of personhood of tulpas, having to live with the consequences, the acknowledgement of the possibility of error in judgement (note, this one is something that a lot of people of all ages fail at), knowing that one can sometimes be opening doors that may never be able to be shut again (dissociation problems, etc.), and knowing that it could be a lot of work. Those are the big things. If a teen has and knows that, then they are most definitely qualified to make a tulpa. Same as people of any other age. Same algorithm.

 

So basically, I think that teens should be allowed in this community and should NOT be outright discouraged from making tulpas. Community should encourage thinking very hard on the subject and that younger folks need to especially think about the long term aspects. As it will happen, many tulpamancy systems of all ages will run into problems, and some hosts of all ages will not have thought things through well enough before making a tulpa. The community exists in part to help these systems work out their problems and hosts to become mature enough after the fact if they weren't mature enough before the fact.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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