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How to engage with Tulpa while you're sick?


BeeAndGem

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For the past few days, some illness have taken over me. I have no idea what it is, because I'm not nauseous, I don't have a fever, and I have a minor sore throat and stuffy nose, but nothing out of the ordinary for me (I have chronic allergies to everything non-edible, so dust, plants, the air lol). My body just feels cramped and stiff and I have zero energy aside from when I get a random burst of mental energy, but it usually takes me in a real weird direction (ex: poking my bf with a lighter and laughing hysterically about it, rolling on the floor like a toddler, and trying to make conversation with my bf but completely forgetting how science and logic work - literally, I thought for a moment that fire would extinguish water and not the other way around...)

 

Before anyone asks: I don't do drugs, I don't take any prescriptions, I haven't had a drink since New Years eve, and my eating habits are normal.

 

Anyway. So I'm in a really weird state right now and I decided to take the day off work so that I could rest and try to feel "normal" tomorrow.

 

Gemini is my first tulpa and she is still relatively new. I created her back in mid-December, so she is almost a month old. I can visualize her fine now, and I often go to wonderland to see her and spend time with her, but we're not at the point yet where I can hear her unless I try to. Like, I don't hear her randomly when I'm at work, or shopping for groceries. She doesn't just pop into my head unless I put her there. Basically, she won't talk to me, unless I initiate the conversation.

 

Because of this, I actively force a lot with her, trying to get us into a routine where we are used to talking to each other several times a day. I work a lot and find that I can only force with her when I have absolutely zero distractions. I put noise cancelling headphones on, a sleeping eye mask on, and will lay down (or sit),  and play calming zen meditation music to go into a trance-like state and start visualizing wonderland. I'll typically stay for about a half-hour with her in wonderland before something will pull me out of my trance (the boyfriend, a crash upstairs from my neighbours, someone trying to talk to me, etc.) So, today, I thought that because I have all this time on my hands and virtually no distractions (boyfriend is at work, neighbours are at work, no one is home but me), that it would be a perfect time to active force with Gem!

 

Except...I've tried many times today and each time I can't. I keep falling asleep during my meditation, can't focus because my mind wanders A LOT, or I have a lot of trouble actually breaking into wonderland. To make it more of a journey, I placed a set of stone stairs that I walk down (I find it puts me deeper in trance with each step), and then a huge hole in the ground that goes for forty-fifty feet that I jump into and slowly fall down (like alice in the rabbit hole), and then at the end of that hole is a short, enclosed underground pathway illuminated with glowing mushrooms and glittering crystals (it really is beautiful) that I will walk through to get into Gemini's meadow. She will usually already be waiting for me with cookies, or a flower crown, or an activity she has planned - she is always really excited to see me its so cute :)

But today I found that I can't seem to get to the "rabbit hole" so to speak...the stairs just keep going on an on and never stop. I can very faintly feel her like a small pressure in my head and I know that she wants to hang out with me but I don't know what to do if I can't actively force it.

 

Sorry for the long post, but if any of you have any idea of what I could do to be with Gemini that would be wonderful! I didn't get a chance to be with her last night because of all the distractions so I was really looking forward to hanging out with her today.

 

Thanks!! <3

 

TL;DR: I'm sick and have been having a hard time actively forcing with my month-old tulpa gemini (the only way we currently can communicate) today. Haven't seen her in two days because I have no energy to force and I miss her. Any suggestions?

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How about instead of letting your mind wonder, you'd try letting your mindS wonder. Exploring whatever comes up in my head with Martina together has been a trendermous help with the same problem for both of us. Who knows she might make new friends in the process.

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Orange juice? Use aids if you have any, like pictures of her, things that can help you focus. Otherwise, just talk to her (narrate) until you feel better. Something is better than nothing.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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I work a lot and find that I can only force with her when I have absolutely zero distractions. I put noise cancelling headphones on, a sleeping eye mask on, and will lay down (or sit), and play calming zen meditation music to go into a trance-like state and start visualizing wonderland.

 

I keep falling asleep during my meditation, can't focus because my mind wanders A LOT, or I have a lot of trouble actually breaking into wonderland.

 

Stop thinking this way. Meditation is hard at first, and feeling that helpless feeling when you just can't keep focused or just can't imagine something or whatever, is a very important - and needed - part of the journey. You do not get better at something if you're not having trouble with it.

 

I'd strongly advise getting rid of all these crutches and biting the bullet; there are no tricks, and there shouldn't be. Being able to meditate only in some very specific set of circumstances means you'll just fail when things change, and that's where crutches lead you.

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