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is making a tulpa dangerous for me?


pei_skit

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hello all, I'm very new to this (been forcing for a week and a half, learning about tulpas for a month) and I only have one inhibition on creating a tulpa.

When I was roughly twelve I had this one imaginary friend who I created on the whim of wanting someone to talk to. Keep in mind I have been since diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder, and have many depressive periods that usually last for around two months or so. I created this imaginary friend, who I called Morgan, to keep me company while I was in these depressive states.

I've always enjoyed designing characters and giving them personalities, Morgan was no exception. I wanted him to be funny and wisecracking so that he could cheer me up and tell me to look on the bright side. Since he was an imaginary friend I would parrot everything he did, but eventually I grew tired of consciously making him say things and just let Morgan do whatever.

Now, this was a big problem, since at that point my subconscious was practically yelling at me that I was worthless, useless and stupid and that I would be stuck this way forever. I tried my best not to listen to it, but that's where Morgan came in.

Every time I would try to make him come and say something to cheer me up, my subconscious would spout abuse at me through him. Everything he said turned into the depressive part of my brain amplifying its baseless accusations straight at me.

Obviously, I dropped Morgan as soon as I could and never used him as an imaginary friend. In fact, I gave up on imaginary friends altogether in fear that something like that might happen again.

Which brings me to now, where I'm in the midst of creating my soon-to-be tulpa Ollie. I've designed Ollie with encouragement and support in mind, because I really think having a tulpa around during the winter when my depressive states get much, much worse would be infinitely beneficial.

However I'm still scared. What if my subconscious takes control of Ollie and uses him against me again? How do I ensure that doesn't happen? Has it even ever happened? I just want to be safe and make sure that my tulpa creation process is not going to harm me in any way.

I'd really appreciate it if you helped me out, this is my first post on this site and you all seem like wonderful people...

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I really don't think the "subconscious" will "take control of" a tulpa. If they are sentient and have a strong identity of their own, then they won't lose control of their words/actions so easily. It is possible for them to be influenced by your own negative thoughts (that's happened to us before) like that, but the best thing to do would just be for them to work through it. Show your tulpa love and care, force him and develop him, don't worry about something like that happen again. Thinking like that will make it more likely to happen. If it does, just assume it's just intrusive thought and not real, or try to calm your tulpa down somehow.

 

It's up to you to decide if a tulpa would be good for you, but in the end just remember that when things like that happen it isn't the end of the world. There's always a way through it, as long as you and your tulpa are there for each other. 

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There's good news and bad news in this situation. The bad news it is it could happen again. The good news is with proper management they will happen less frequently and fade away to the point where it almost never happens again. I have had the same issue with my Tulpa where he is sometimes influenced by my anxiety and he loses control and says mean things or does things that are disturbing. Right now, those events rarely happen anymore.

 

Realizing that the source is yourself and not your Tulpa is the first step. The other thing to know is "subconscious control" is temporary. It is triggered by stress or depression and will end once you feel better and calm down. Please note that these episodes will not damage your Tulpa's personality either, and after the event they will need the chance to calm down too.

 

If it happens again, it's important to know that anything mean they say to you that isn't normal is not real. What they say may be upsetting, but it's more important to focus on calming yourself down and calming them down. Be gentle, be patient, and eventually the bad feelings will go away and the Tulpa will be returned to normal. Once you have settled down, do something fun with them in the wonderland, give them love and cuddles, or read a happy book together.

 

 

There may be times where it's really scary and you can't get it to end. If this happens, you can still walk away from it and calm down.

 

Depending on what's the bigger problem, you may need to manage the depression, the anxiety or both. If this event is triggered by anxiety, put your thumb in your mouth and blow hard for about 15-20 seconds or dunk your face in ice water. This will lower your heart rate and give you the relief you need to calm down and work from there. If depression is the bigger issue, talk to someone you feel comfortable with is the best thing to do. If you don't have anyone around you feel comfortable talking to, go find someone to talk to online (there is a Tulpa discord and IRC if you want to use those, or you could use a different service such as 7 cups which is better designed to help people with depression). Once you start to feel a little bit better, give yourself a break from your mind for awhile.

If you feel unsafe or you feel like you are going to hurt yourself or someone else, seek medical help or a hotline please.

 

 

The dark thoughts/insults our subconscious will come up with are repetitive and become less scary and offensive over time. The turn around does not take long either, so if you work at things will get better sooner rather than later.

 

 

Making a Tulpa or doing anything mental isn't dangerous for you unless you decide to act on your dark thoughts.

Meow. You may see my headmates call me Gray or sometimes Cat.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

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