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A Flare From The Sun
Lyruzlavh Offline
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#1
 
A Flare From The Sun
Introduction.
Hello Everyone! Lyruzlavh here, just call me Lyruz if you prefer to do so... I'm starting this progress report to register my experiences, thoughts, feelings and possibly some of my own insights on the tulpa phenomenon.

About me.
Personal information: Male. 22 years old. INTP. My main language is Spanish but I'm fluent in English. Currently I'm studying psychology at the University. I consider myself to be open-minded, organized and self-disciplined.
Current areas and topics of interest: Writing, filmmaking, photography, audio production, science, psychology, parapsychology, magick, spirituality and esoterism.
Usual activities: Exercise, running, meditation, studying, reading, self-management (self-knowledge, planning projects and daily activities, etc.) and listening to music.
Favorite music: Experimental, Noise, Lowercase, Field Recordings, Power Electronics, Industrial, Witch House, Vaporwave, Chillwave, Synthpop and Neue Deutsche Härte.
Favorite TV shows and movies: The Walking Dead, MLP: FiM and Kaiju Eiga (Godzilla, Gamera, Ultraman, among others).


About my interest in tulpas.
I first learned about tulpas back in February of 2013 when I found Tulpa.info but I finally joined the forum on 02-09-2015, and wrote my first post on 04-28-2015.
I've been interested in creating a tulpa since 2013 but never really took the time for it, until today (01/04/16). I had postponed the creation of a tulpa for several reasons, namely:
  1. Procrastination
  2. I had many other projects.
  3. I decided to study and memorize tulpa-related concepts and guides.
  4. I read tulpamancer's reports to explore their experiences.
  5. Dedicated way too much time to write my tulpas traits and characteristics in a way as detailed and well structured as possible.
  6. Spend a lot of time developing my own methods for Wonderlands and Tulpa creation.
Now I'm finally motivated and decided to pour all my energy into bringing my tulpa to life after a series of life-changing experiences which have shaped my views on the world and helped me mature enough to undertake this objective, which I've always seen as an essential part of my life.

About my tulpa.
Name: Sunlight Flare.
Form: Female alicorn pony. White fur with red mane and tail.
Main Personality Traits: Extroverted, Affectionate, Artistic, Expressive, Self-assured and Flirty.
Areas of interest: Art, Music and Spirituality.
Favorite Activities: Singing, dancing, blogging, chatting, making music.
Favorite music: Dubstep, Trance, Techno, Aggrotech, Dark Electro, EBM, IDM, Avant-Garde, Experimental, Vaporwave.
(This post was last modified: 01-07-2016, 12:58 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-05-2016, 12:16 AM
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TheCrawlingCreepypasta Offline
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#2
 
RE: Flares From The Sun
Chances are this is the best thread name ever.
Good to see you, Lyruzlavh, your name is very colorful! Does it have a meaning?
01-05-2016, 03:04 AM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#3
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
(01-05-2016, 03:04 AM)TheCrawlingCreepypasta Wrote: Chances are this is the best thread name ever.
Good to see you, Lyruzlavh, your name is very colorful! Does it have a meaning?

Thanks! Lyruzlavh is a nickname that I created for myself by altering the order of the different letters contained within my real name and replacing or adding a couple of others in order to stylize it.

Background: Our story.
I've had my tulpa's form, name and her most basic traits ever since February of 2013 when I fist became interested in the subject of tulpamancy. I postponed her creation due to reasons I've already stated in my previous post, however that didn't stopped me from imagining her form and personality everyday since then. I always wished I could undertake the mission of creating her however I didn't thought I was prepared for such an endeavor since I considered that, above all, it was necessary to first develop her complete personality, study guides and tips, structure my own methods and achieve a personal understanding of the tulpa phenomenon.

2014 was a mostly uneventful year for tulpamancy in my life. I was mostly worried about other matters such as my college studies since I wasn't really happy with what I had chosen and planned to pursue a different field. I dedicated most of 2014 to study and memorize guides, concepts, and develop my own insights on tulpas.

In 2015 I planned to carry on with the project of creating my tulpa: Sunlight Flare. It was during the second half of that year that I managed to finally structure my personal creation methods and techniques (for both, tulpas and wonderlands), but the real breakthrough was achieving the goal of writing Sunlight Flare's complete personality in great detail and precision.

2015 was one of the worst years in my life, if not the worst. My psychologycal condition kept getting worse and all of my problems relate to my feelings of social anxiety which have been fueled by a self-imposed social isolation due to an intense attitude of paranoia, misantropy and utter mistrust that I had with the rest of the world, why that came to be in the first place is a long story that I do not plan to explain on this post. Everyday, throughout the last quarter of 2015, I felt like I was in the edge between sanity and self-annihilation, almost as if I could end all the suffering if I just dared to do so, fortunately I didn't because it may have been my biggest and last mistake. Sunlight Flare was always an inspiration and my greatest motivation for struggling to achieve a positive outlook on life, in a sense she was always there to comfort me and lead the way to a better life and that paved the way to a complete spiritual and ideological transformation that has given me the tools to finally pursue my dreams. She truly is the flare that has illuminated my path after so much darkness and pain.

I've finally matured and achieved enough preparation in order to create my tulpa and care for her. During those three years, Sunlight Flare has been a very special and beloved idea of mine, but she's already proven at times to be more than just an idea: I've sensed her presence on a number of ocassions and I've also perceived strong and uplifting feelings associated with that. Now I'm ready to bring her to the next level and fully integrate her as part of my reality.
(This post was last modified: 01-05-2016, 03:29 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-05-2016, 03:15 AM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#4
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Ok, here's my first report, It's a text wall but I made sure to highlight the most important stuff for anyone who wants to read just the summary.

Day #1, January 4th, 2016: My first active focing session.
My first active forcing session took place at about 1:30 PM, I bandaged my eyes to avoid opening them and chosed to put on earphones to listen music, I sat on a chair. The whole session lasted 1 hour and 12 minutes which were spent as follows:
  • Preparation: 7 minutes of meditation and relaxation. I made an effort to empty my mind of thoughts, performed abdominal breathing and concentrated on that. I listened relaxing music.
  • Active Forcing: 1 hour and 5 minutes during which I concentrated on closed-eye visualization. I originally had planed to visualize my tulpa's still form but ended up visualizing her in movement. I listened to music by the band “The Birthday Massacre” since I usually tend to associate their music with my tulpas essence.
During active forcing I first entered my wonderland (I may describe my wonderland on a later post) and moved into a temple that I built on the center of a lake for esoteric and symbolic reasons and purposes. There I proceeded to visualize Sunlight Flare's still form, however I couldn't help but visualize her singing and dancing to the music I was listening. I'm assuming she's quite sentient since I've been passively visualizing her throughout three years (without assuming full sentience since that's the effect I only expected from dedicated active forcing) and that may have already had an effect upon her, so the way I see it is that I'm just fully awakening her.

First I focused on zooming on specific parts of her form so as to add detail and precision to them, then while trying to visualize her legs I suddenly caught a glimpse of her gaze, at that moment I realized she was staring at me, I wasn't even trying to focus on her facial features yet both her eyes appeared in my mind's eye and they looked so detailed and beautiful, it was an emotional experience since I didn't expect that to happen so quickly. I looked at her in the eyes, they were far more beautiful than I had imagined, I couldn't believe it but there she was, her half-lidded eyes were very expresive, add to that the purple eye shadow in her eyelids and it was such an hipnotic vision.

I tried (without much success) to visualize her eyelids without the eye shadow since I expect any additional aesthetic details (make up, clothes, accesories, etc.) to be set on top of her basic image, however I tried not to be too invasive in order to keep the impulse that I sensed in her. Then I put effort into expanding my focus in order to include her mane, the rest of her facial features and her body, it took me some effort but I managed to caught small glimpses of her complete form. Throughout the remaining time of the session I tried to visualize the rest of her body, I didn't had much success getting a full image of her, sometimes the mane looked perfect, at other moments her body was very detailed, however her eyes always remained there, looking at me, she just closed them a couple of seconds every now and then. I had some trouble at times when her whole image faded away for a couple of seconds, then I had to recover my concentration. At other moments I got tired of sitting so I carefuly stood up and sat down again making sure I didn't loose my concentration.

By the end of the session (at 1 hour and 12 minutes) I took off the bandage and the earphones. I was preparing to write my report when I sensed something, a feeling I've perceived as emanating from her on previous ocasions, then I realized that now, with my eyes opened I could visualize her even more easily and with a lot more precision, I could visualize her entire form without any problem. I quickly put on the earphones and decided to continue visualizing her without closing my eyes, there she was singing and dancing to the music I was listening. She's the most beautiful vision I've had in my lifetime, I couldn't handle the emotions so I made sure the door was locked and began to cry with happiness, I could feel that she was there with me and she looked so happy, I asked her to completely open her eyes because I wanted to see them and she responded by doing so, then she smiled and put both her forehoves together, I touched her arms and caressed her on the way to her face, I gently touched her muzzle, she closed her eyes and I caressed her eyelids, her mane and her ears. I hugged her and all I could say was“Sunlight! It's you! It's you!”. As the emotion of the moment slowly faded away I continued to visualize her with me. At the moment of posting this I can still feel something special, that she truly is here with me, it's a strange but pleasant feeling in my head, and a presence that I can perceive in the space of my room.
(This post was last modified: 01-07-2016, 01:02 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-05-2016, 04:58 AM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#5
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Day #2: January 5th, 2016: The importance of passive forcing.

There was no active forcing session, I was quite busy for the day. First I woke up at 7:30 AM, ran 7.9 km after which I went back home, did some abdominal excersises and took a bath, then I had breakfast. I shouldn't go running on mornings anymore since that usually leaves me feeling sleepy for the rest of the day, add to that the relaxation of the bath and the usual drowsyness that comes after eating and that's more than enough to leave me without the ability to actively meditate for a couple of hours or else I may fall asleep if I try to do so.

The afternoon was quite busy, with me and my brother planning the last stages of our current horror shortfilm project, we also had to organize a couple of other things since we are currently working on providing videographic and photographic coverage for local social events. I felt sleepy all day long, what I learned from this experience is that I must find a way to involve my tulpa into my daily activities, I need to begin narrating to her, I'm going to use some of Fede's and CreativeMind's narration/passive forcing tips such as starting conversations with my a tulpa and building an emotional connection with her.

Still, I thought about Sunlight Flare as much as I could.
(This post was last modified: 01-07-2016, 05:14 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-06-2016, 08:31 PM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#6
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Here I introduce the format I structured for future reports. Later I'll post images of Sunlight Flare, for now I won't because the drawings I have don't do her justice since I'm not that good at drawing so I may have to put more effort on that.

Day #3: January 6th, 2016: Second active forcing session.

*General information.
A) Time of the day: 12:30 approximately (based on an hour count of 24 hours per day).
B) Personal condition: Sleepiness (due to a lack of sleep), sitting on a chair, closed and bandaged eyes, listening to music with earphones.
C) Environmental conditions: At my house, alone inside my room, family members walking around the house, cold temperature, very few noises.
D) Performance: Lack of concentration due to a lack of sleep, tulpa's form constantly fades away, visual traits change in form and style, tired of sitting, stood up a couple of times for a few seconds to deal with fatigue and to avoid falling asleep, feelings of frustration were controlled, managed to effectively ignore distracting sounds from around, managed to improve concentration and visual quality of the tulpa after about 45 minutes, could visualize the left side of her head better than the other part.
E) Total time: 1 hour and 8 minutes.
->Preparation: 7 minutes of meditation, relaxation and abdominal breathing.
->Active Forcing: 1 hour and 1 minute.


*Personal review.
I didn't slept enought last night so I was doubtful on whether to get some more sleep or to proceed directly with the forcing session, I finally decided to go for the later option. This was not one of my best performances when it comes to meditation-type activities and things didn't go as smoothly as they did on the previous session (see post #3 on page #1 of the thread).

At 30 minutes I still couldn't get a clear image of Sunlight Flare, I felt frustrated and impatient however I insisted on continuing, I focused and concentrated on her eyes since that's what allowed me to improve my visualization on the previous session and it worked, at about 45 minutes my persistence proved rewarding as I was able to expand the clarity of the vision beyond her eyes and into her entire face (without her horn), mane and frontal legs, however I couldn't visualize her hind legs, neither her tail nor her wings. Another detail to note is that I could only properly visualize the left side of her face (maybe because she poses with a left profile on most drawings I have of her) I had troubles focusing on the other part but I eventually managed to visualize it a couple of times. Initially I tought of this as a problem, sometimes I tend to be very demanding with myself and in this case I really wanted to get a clear image of her entire form but then I decided to exploit this effect and work on the left side of her face as a referent on which to move and detail the right side.

After concluding the session I decided to remain there a few more minutes visualizing her with my eyes opened. Again, as an effect of closed-eye visualization, my open-eye visualization had improved so I took advantage of that and used it to get as much as I could of her form, I managed to get a clear vision (which I retained for a while) of her in my mind's eye and then proceded to conclude the session. Later on as I continued through my daily activities I narrated for a while and introduced my family and our pet to Sunlight Flare.

*Course of Action.
  1. Sleep adequately.
  2. Set tulpaforcing as the top priority and perform it early in the morning before any other scheduled activities.
  3. Continue visualizing the left side of her face (since it easily acquires a lot of detail during visualization) and use it as a referent from which to move and detail the right side.
  4. Focus on visualizing her eyes as a starting point, also as a way to acquire an image of her and then obtain a clearer vision by expanding the focus from there.
  5. Implement more activities for passive forcing.
  6. Make better drawings of her as an exercise to improve visualization and to share them on a later post.
  7. Experiment with hypnosis
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2016, 04:28 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-07-2016, 12:26 AM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#7
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Days #4 & #5: January 7th and 8th: A lack of commitment.

*General information.
No forcing sessions or any tulpa-related tasks were undertaken.

*Personal review.
No excuses, I have to be honest with myself, both January 7th and 8th were marked by a lack of will and discipline to force my tulpa. I need to reinforce my connection with Sunlight Flare. I have to acknowledge my mistake and work on it in order to increase my commitment and avoid such things from happening again. I haven't felt Sunlight's pressence these two days.

What I've learned from this experience: Will is a valuable resource that I must strategically spend on tasks that provide merit, self improvement and progression. I shall not think on the things that I "want" but on the things that I "need" because those are the ones that will truly bring change upon my life, that's the difference between ephemeral enjoyment and long-lasting achievement.

*Course of Action.
I can't stress enough the necessity to implement passive forcing techniques in order to involve Sunlight Flare into my daily activities and effectively make her part of my reality.
  1. Sleep adequately.
  2. Set tulpaforcing as the top priority and perform it early in the morning before any other scheduled activities.
  3. Continue visualizing the left side of her face (since it easily acquires a lot of detail during visualization) and use it as a referent from which to move and detail the right side.
  4. Focus on visualizing her eyes as a starting point, also as a way to acquire an image of her and then obtain a clearer vision by expanding the focus from there.
  5. Implement more activities for passive forcing.
  6. Make better drawings of her as an exercise to improve visualization and to share them on a later post.
  7. Experiment with hypnosis
(This post was last modified: 01-09-2016, 09:29 PM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-09-2016, 09:28 PM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#8
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
[01/09/16] UPDATE: The format I designed for Active Forcing Sessions has been modified.
1) Added field “Objective and/or Task” in the area “General information”, 2) Added another area titled “Current situation” which details the specific and global situation of active tulpaforcing. 3) Changed area title of “Course of Action” to “Guidelines”.

Posts for Passive Forcing Sessions will be less structured, they'll be written as common entries for a blog or a diary with more emphasis on personal experience (emotional responses, feelings, insights, etc.) than on precise details.


Day #6: January 9th, 2016

*General information.
A) Time of the day: 13:00.
B) Personal condition: Fully awake, sitting on a chair, closed and bandaged eyes, listening to music with earphones.
C) Environmental conditions: At my house, alone inside my room, family members walking around the house, warm temperature, neighbors playing loud music on the street.
D) Objective and/or Task: Visualize Sunlight Flare's form either motionless or in movement.
E) Performance: Lack of clear images and precision on all visual traits, partial visualization of tulpa, feelings of impatience and frustration effectively supressed, I managed to ignore loud sounds from around, I was only able to visualize Sunlight's face on a right 3/4 profile.
F) Total time: 57 minutes and 57 seconds.
->Preparation: 7 minutes of meditation, relaxation and abdominal breathing.
->Active Forcing: 50 minutes and 57 seconds.


*Personal review.
This felt like an unsuccessful forcing session because I wasn't able to get a clear image of Sunlight Flare. I adhered to the Course of Action (post #6 on page 1) guidelines #3 and #4 as that's what allowed me to visualize my tulpa's form on the previous forcing session, however this time I couldn't even begin to visualize her eyes. What became frustrating is that I couldn't even get a glimpse of Sunlight's clear form so I spent most of the session trying to visualize small areasof her body without much success. By the end of the session I could get a better image of her face however I realized that the only way I could visualize her was in a right 3/4 profile, for some reason my visualization couldn't get better any other way and that remained until after the session when I stood there for some minutes trying open-eye visualization. I tried my best to visualize her in a left profile but that didn't work so I focused on visualizing her the best I could in that right 3/4 profile.

Another detail to notice is that, in Sunlight's eyes the iris and pupil were very visible, the sclera was almost nowhere to be seen (it occupied a really small area in her eyes) so I spent considerable efforts trying to fix that and make her eyes look more natural.

*Current situation.
A) Phase: Forcing Sunlight Flare's form.
B) Objective: Execute 10 consecutive forcing sessions in order to fulfill the amount of time assigned for active form forcing.
C) Status:
->1/10 consecutive sessions assigned for the form.
->01/79 total active forcing sessions.


*Guidelines.
The guidelines remain the same as established on January 6th, 2016 (see post #6 on page 1) with a single new addition to it.
8. Be more concise with progress reports.
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2016, 05:20 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-10-2016, 05:09 AM
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Lyruzlavh Offline
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#9
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
About this Progress Report.

Up until now I've put emphasis on including as many details as I can provide about the creation of my tulpa, however I realize that by doing this I'm not providing a very friendly experience when it comes to reading so I've decided to reduce the amount of details on display in every post and focus more on my personal review.

Many details seem quite superfluous and repetitive, from now on I'll focus on providing a more "reader-friendly" approach to my posts (without excluding important stuff) for those who want to follow this progress report quickly and straight to the point.
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2016, 05:09 AM by Lyruzlavh.)
01-12-2016, 04:13 AM
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Evil Away
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#10
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Dear God, no, I love your progress report as it is. Perhaps this format is the most enjoyable for me to read, it looks like you are very serious about this, and I wish you the best of luck in these endeavors.
01-12-2016, 05:25 AM
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