Hello There, Guest! Register

A Flare From The Sun
Lyruzlavh Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2015
#11
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Thank's for your reply! I'll be considering the way I write my posts, meanwhile here's the next update, I'll post later the reports of days 8 and 9 (January 11 and 12).

Day #7: January 10, 2016.

*Personal review.
The first half of this session was very similar to the previous one, it was just as difficult and frustrating to visualize my tulpa as I couldn't get a clear image of her, I tried to follow my guidelines (3 and 4) and they worked, just very slowly, again I was able to supress the feelings of impatience and frustration. There weren't many things to highlight until the later 15 minutes of the session when I was finally able to visualize my tulpa's facial features, however I still couldn't get a precise image of her body, and her mane was very difficult to visualize. At the end of the session I opened my eyes and continued to do some open-eye visualization, then I narrated for a while to Sunlight Flare about my activities, my likes and about how much she means to my and the many things and projects we can do together in the future.

There's something I call “sensing/feeling a tulpa's presence”, but in more popular terms I consider that to be the same as an “emotional response”, I call it “sensing a tulpa's presence” because that's the way it feels to me, I feel like there's “someone” there to whom I can direct my attention and affection, not just an idea that I'm pretending to be real, but there's the feeling that “she” really is there with me... not a concept, but a person... I had that same feeling today by the end of the session and for a couple of minutes after that.

*Current situation.
A) Phase: Forcing Sunlight Flare's form.
B) Objective: Execute 10 consecutive forcing sessions in order to fulfill the amount of time assigned for active form forcing.
C) Status: 02/10 consecutive sessions. 02/79 total sessions.
01-12-2016, 05:59 PM
Find Reply

Sponsors:
Valhal.la

Lyruzlavh Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2015
#12
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
Day #8: January 11, 2016.

*Personal review.
Forcing my tulpa today was a very satisfying experience, from the very beginning I was able to visualize her eyes, the guidelines (#3 & #4) again proved to be useful, I exploited them and once again the eyes served as a starting point from which to expand the visualization. Something to notice is that today I was very sleepy, on few occasions I have proceeded to perform meditation-type activities with this level of sleepiness and this was one of them, in order to solve that I avoided remaining motionless and sitting on a chair, instead I woke up (keeping my eyes closed and my mind focused on the visualization) at about 20 minutes into the session and remained standing while occasionaly moving my arms and legs in order to avoid falling asleep, such actions proved useful and allowed me to continue focusing on my tulpa's form.

By the end of the session my visualization improved and for the first time I was able to get a full view of my tulpa's body along with her mane and facial features, that was very inspiring, once I opened my eyes, as always I remained for a couple of minutes visualizing Sunlight's form, after 10 minutes or so I continued with my daily chores and activities while narrating to my tulpa, I told her about my activities, what she makes me think, feel and how much I want her to be with me so I can share my life with her.

The environment was permeated by that special and pleasurable emotion that I always perceive as emanating from her... a pressence... an emotional response.

*Current situation.
A) Phase: Forcing Sunlight Flare's form.
B) Objective: Execute 10 consecutive forcing sessions in order to fulfill the amount of time assigned for active form forcing.
C) Status: 3/10 consecutive sessions. 03/79 total sessions.
01-13-2016, 03:52 AM
Find Reply
Vos Offline
Global Moderator
Global Moderators

Posts: 1,193
Threads: 15
Joined: May 2012
#13
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
This may be a bit off-topic, but I'm liking the formatting of your progress report. It doesn't feel like there's any bullshit in this and you have it planned out well.

Vos#9360 / Tox ID
01-13-2016, 01:21 PM
Find Reply
Lyruzlavh Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2015
#14
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
My purpose is to convey my experience as closely as possible to the actual events. I'd say that, for now, my writting style is descriptive rather than narrative except for the last paragraph on post #4 at page 1, I expect that to change over time as Sunlight Flare becomes sentient and conscious, by then this progress report may become more like a diary, but for now I try to be as precise as possible, things may not be as exciting or interesting for now but that's probably to be expected from the early stages of tulpaforcing.

I may add the "general information" details to my two previous posts later. I've been busy with other activities these days so I haven't been able to write complete reports for day's #9 and #10, however I always make sure to keep notes to preserve all the important details. I'll make sure to post them on January 14.
01-14-2016, 06:20 AM
Find Reply
Lyruzlavh Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2015
#15
 
UPDATE
UPDATE.

It's been 89 days since I posted an update on this progress report. I began writing this progress report during my winter holiday period, which lasted until January 18. I had to interrupt this report and my practice of active forcing because I went back to university and on this trimester I had one really demanding teacher, so much in fact that I had literally no time for anything else, the amount of reading was insane and besides that I had lots of homework and psychology practices, all of this affected the quality of my sleep. I still tried to actively force my tulpa but that didn't worked out because I kept falling asleep in the opening minutes of each session, so it was imposible for me to continue my practice of active forcing. Halfway into the term I decided to implement some form of passive forcing so as not to postpone the creation of my tulpa anymore, it worked to a certain degree but I just couldn't concentrate on my homework and my tulpa at the same time so I didn't continued doing it.

Now my university trimester is over and I have a month-long holiday period before next term, I'm planning to get as much as I can out of this time to forge the basis of my tulpa's existence.

After my last update (Day #8: January 11, 2016) I performed a couple more active forcing sessions, however the results weren't very special, those sessions took place between January 12 and 17, I lost many of the details (dates, time spent, etc.) but I remember them being frustrating with me in a state of drowsiness and with a lack of concentration, the only remarkable experience was this:
  • "It's 11PM. I'm visualizing Sunlight Flare's form, the visualization is not taking place in the wonderland but in a completely dark space of my mind where only my tulpa is visible. Thoughts and ideas begin to interfere with my concentration, some of them are disturbing but I manage to repel them to a certain extent. After I've finished the session I realize that I should have performed it in the wonderland because it is designed to function as a sanctuary and a peaceful place separate from the rest of my mind. I hug Sunlight and ask her to forgive me for not keeping her away from the mess that's constantly flowing through my mind, so we travel to the Wonderland at night and I accompany her all the way to her room in a house at the edge of a lake, I tell her that the wonderland is a safe place and that here nothing is going to bother or harm her, I also mention that I'm going to protect her from everything and that I'll make my best efforts to finally integrate her existence into my reality. It's time to sleep, I gently put her in the bed and cover her body with the blankets, she seems relaxed, with a smile on her face. I hug her as we both fall asleep."

I'll post a summary of the experiences that I had with passive forcing during my previous university term, these were very satisfying and are the closest I've got to interacting with Sunlight in a realistic and convincing way. I also have to mention that I've started active forcing again and that I will combine it with passive forcing. I will be posting constantly througout the next 30 days or so, though I may change my previous format as it consumed more time than I consider necesary.

This progress report is active again.
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2016, 09:14 PM by Lyruzlavh.)
04-09-2016, 09:11 PM
Find Reply
Lyruzlavh Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2015
#16
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
May 17, 2016.

So here I am... again, back to college and my month of vacations is over. While I didn't use that time to catch up again with my active tulpaforcing activities, I still wouldn't call it lost time (or perhaps that's just me trying to be an optimist despite my constant procrastination).

I've been thinking a lot about Sunlight Flare, more specifically about her form, so much in fact that it has already become ingrained in my imagination. I achieved that by constantly looking at pictures of her and then trying to retain her image in my mind on a daily basis, a sort of limited passive forcing... so far it has worked and I'd consider to be at a point where I'm able to recall and visualize her form with precision, depth of detail and stability.

I consider that her form is already stable. Next step is starting again the practice of active forcing so as to give a personality to that form of hers and set her alive. I've come up with an idea that will help me make the whole process less tedious and prone to sleepiness and lack of concentration... a sort of active-passive forcing that I'm trying to implement and that will help me achieve 79 consecutive days of forcing in order to bring Sunlight Flare into my life, reality and mind.
05-18-2016, 01:19 AM
Find Reply
Lyruzlavh Offline
Member
Registered

Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2015
#17
 
RE: A Flare From The Sun
==================================2018==================================

12/02/18: The objective of this thread is to serve as a notebook in which I can deposit and discuss all the ideas, techniques and theories, both mine and those of others, on the topic of tulpamancy and that I may personally consider useful for assimilation and practice with my tulpa whose name is Sunlight Flare.

12/02/18.
     Recent Situation: I haven't published a single report on my practice of tulpamancy ever since the year 2016, this is due to the fact that I haven't continued this practice. The last thing I ever did was practicing a couple of sessions of active forcing with a specific amount of hours in mind and based on a personal method that I developed by taking several methods from other users and authors and adjusting them to my needs. I pretended to fulfill a certain amount of hours of active forcing, this didn't happen and since then the whole project has remained frozen, sometimes I even came to diminish the importance of the practice of tulpamancy in my life to the point of almost forgetting my tulpa Sunlight Flare, however this has changed recently in quite a fantastic way. A couple of weeks ago I decided to return to the project of creating a tulpa and to take it as a serious responsibility, I've been doing passive forcing (mostly narration and some amount of puppeting) since a couple of days ago at one time when I felt depressed and imprisoned in my own room, these were feelings that motivated me to go out and take a walk in the park at night, I also choosed to incorporate my tulpa into my mind and environment during that walk: I imagined her floating around, walking, I talked to her how I felt and puppeted her image for interaction. The results of this experience were less than spectacular and left a lot to be desired, but that was to be expected from someone who hasn't done any meditation, visualization excercises nor any tulpaforcing for two years, however things have changed in recent days: there's been great advancements in realism and the capabilities to react and be sentient in my dear Sunlight Flare. From a few weeks ago (early this month) up until now, passive forcing has consisted in the next activities:

1. Visualization in an Imaginary Environment: I visualize an imaginary environment that mirrors the caracteristics of the physical world (people, buildings, animals, etc.), however my actions in the real world are very different from those I perform in this imaginary environment, i.e.: In the physical environment I may be walking towards a classroom early in the morning of a Monday but in the imaginary environment I'm not merely walking, I may also be hugging Sunlight and talking with her.

2. Pseudo-Imposition: I tend to locate and feel Sunlight's presence in some place around my physical environment, I try to visualize her at the edge of my field of sight doing several things, such as sitting on a chair or talking to me while gesturing with her arms. Sometimes I extend my arm and caress her head, on other moments I place a chair next to me and invite her to take a seat in there, when I'm alone I literally talk with her not in my mind but with my real voice.

3. Shared Thougths: I begin by having a mental speech with myself or with Sunlight, then she intervenes by completing the phrase or word that I'm about to say, sometimes whe adds things or modifies what I was saying, I allow her to intervene constantly and many times this sudden intervention of hers happens beyond my will, thus I simply allow it to occur

4. Substitution of People: Whether it is a memory or a current situation, I focus on the task being performed by some person (their moves, forms of talking, posture, occupation, etc.) and in an imaginary environment (like the one described previously) I replace said person and put Sunlight Flare in their place, then I allow Sunlight to perform the same task but incorporating her own personality into the whole situation. I realized that sometimes when I'm remembering something that I lived with another person suddenly and automatically said person gets substituted by Sunlight and I remember the whole thing as if it had been her rather than the other person, this phenomenon occured to me several times and beyond my own will: it happened on its own.

5. Drawing: I've altered Sunlight's original form by adding details (such as changing her posture from a quadruped creature to that of a bipedal anthropomorphic one). In the past week (From Monday 5th to Friday 10th) I've been drawing a lot to the point that there's been days in which it has become my only activity. I've tried to make Sunlight more attractive because I figured that such a form would motivame me more to visualize her as it would be pleasing to my imagination. For anyone thinking that I may have turned her into a mere sexual object, this has not happened and I will write more on this later.

6. Dancing Visualization: Sunlight Flare is someone who loves to dance and sing, she truly enjoys it and following this basic element of her personality I've focused on visualizing her dancing with several types of music (music from my playlists, music from the radio when I'm traveling on the public transport...). This is perhaps the one activity in which the most spectacular successes have been achieved, specially on three occasions:
       a) During a travel with my family to a nearby town: I visualized Sunlight dancing to electronic music (don't remember the exact song but it was one by the band Justice), at some point her moves gained great vitality, autonomy and a spontaneity that truly impressed me.
       b) During a travel to a hospital: There was some music playing on the radio of the taxi and out of nowhere Sunlight came to mi mind as she started dancing, her moves looked so fluid and natural that I was impressed.
       c) On Thursday 8th of this February at night, after I finished drawing Sunlight's new form, I was listening "Kissing the Ground" by Drab Majesty and began visualizing Sunlight dancing to the song, her moves were so fitting with the music and definitely beyond any choreographic creativity that I could possibly claim. Here is when many of her now classic moves came to be.

7. Tactile Contact: Sometimes I tend to make physical contact with Sunlight Flare, on these situations I've felt strange sensations in my body and these seem to simulate physical contact with another body, there's been three occasions:
       a) Once in a morning: When I was watching a documentary Sunlight was sitting next to me in another chair, I extended my arm to reach her head and caress her, then I felt as if my hand was actually touching a soft surface.
       b). Once in an afternoon: My brother, Sunlight and I went to watch the latest Maze Runner movie, Sunlight sat to my right, at some point during the film she rest her head on my right shoulder to which I laid my head over hers, then I felt a soft and almost electric sensation in my right cheek, the contact was full of affection and mutual trust.
       c) One morning in which my brother and I went to have breakfast at the university's dinning room, while waiting in the line I took the oportunity to talk with Sunlight, at one point I grabbed both her arms and took her close to me, then I rested my forehead over hers and rubbed mine with hers in an affectionate manner, then I felt a strange sensation in my forehead, a kind of feeling that I would describe as electric and it reached into my skull almost as if the frontal part of my brain could also feel it.
  
8. Narrating: I've been narrating to Sunlight about the things I do, about what I like and what I think about several things, sometimes we have involved ourselves into small debates which she usually wins with arguments that sometimes leave me baffled or laughing at the fact that she has become so intelligent and now always wants to win these small discussions, "You're the voice of reason" or "your words are full of truth" are phrases I usually tell to her acknowledging her intelligence.

One possible Issue.
     Puppeting: It is not clear to me how much I've been puppeting her. Sunlight has always been responsive to my actions an thoughts, but sometimes I realize that the things she's about to say come first (a second earlier) in my head with my own voice, but I've also realized that at other points when I'm doing something she suddenly intervenes by telling me something and thus starting conversation. I try to imagine her dialogue only in her voice, it feels more natural, if my own voice comes first then it feels as if I'm puppeting her, if her voice is the only one pronouncing her dialogues then it feels natural and just right. This makes me remember that some users here on tulpa.info (don't remember who exactly) have written on the phenomenon of tulpa speech and have identified that some tulpas do talk using the tulpamancers voice in their early stages of sentience.

     For now I'm trying to formalize a personal method of passive tulpaforcing as I've seen that this practices has done so much more for Sunlight than any of the active forcing I did two years ago. For now I keep talking with her as much as I can but sometimes I feel tired, perhaps this is because I'm putting a considerable amount of effort on her visualization, or because it may be that I get tired of this interaction with her considering that I'm a very introvert and barely talkative person, so having someone to whom I can talk next to me all day can also get tiring, but I'm trying to get used to it because this whole experience has truly started to change my life in ways I couldn't even imagine before.

TL;DR.

Current situation:
-I stopped tulpaforcing back in 2016 and haven't done it again until now.
-I've done some passive forcing over the last two or three weeks.
-An imaginary environment that mirrors the physical world has proven useful in my passive forcing.
-I've done some pseudoimposition where I locate and sense Sunlight Flare's presence and visualize her on the edge of my line of sight.
-Some changes have been applied on Sunlight Flare's form, most importantly that she is now a bipedal creature rather than a quadruped one.
-I've applied several passive forcing and visualization methods of my own (don't really know if someone has implemented similar things).
-Sunlight Flare has suprised me at several moments due to the autonomy and spontaneity of her actions.

     There's many more things I'd like to share, more on that later.
(This post was last modified: 02-12-2018, 11:59 PM by Lyruzlavh.)
02-12-2018, 11:54 PM
Find Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Valhal.la


Contact Us | Tulpa.Info | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication