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Our Tulpa Endeavor
Beatles Offline
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#1
 
Our Tulpa Endeavor

Edit 1/14/17

Lyra: Me, the host!
Apollo: The first intentional tulpa I created, 12/3/16.
Piano: Tulpa accidentally created inside a merge, 1/26/17
Tacio: A completely unplanned tulpa created 5/15/17. 
Indigo: A tulpa created by Tacio, 10/2/17.

[Image: tulpas_of_the_felight_system_by_apollotulpa-dby8cr9.png]


Original first post:
I think that I will be more focused on working to create a tulpa if I have somewhere to recount my progress, and hopefully see significant changes as I go along.

Several months ago, I watched ScareTheater's video on tulpae. I knew it was possibly something I'd like to learn about and attempt, but I dismissed it. I don't know why. I think it was because I was too focused on losing weight to worry about that.

The memory of the video came into my head, and I became curious. I watched the video again, watched some others (all other YouTube videos on tulpae seem to be about how it's a spiritual thing, so they didn't do me any good. I'm an atheist), and went on this website and read everything I could find about it on the Internet.

I decided to give it a shot.

My goal is to possibly be able to create an imposed tulpa that I can see, hear, be possessed by, and switch with. I'm sure that's most people's goal as well, and it probably will take a long time, but I'm trying to remain optimistic. I want to create a tulpa that resembles Paul McCartney (when he was 21 years old or so), but he knows he's not actually him, and has a personality that's different from his. I want him to be pretty much the opposite of me in his personality, but still complement mine. I have a character in a story named Paul Felight, so he would also kind of be like him. His name will be Paul, and he will look like Paul, but any deviations he might have will be accepted. I just want a friend, really. He doesn't actually have to be like Paul in any way; he just has to be a friend to me.

Two days ago, I started to initiate the tulpa-creating process. I spent a long time imagining Paul in a chair and thinking towards him, looking at stuff on my tablet and in my room and attempting to narrate, though I did a poor job. Of course I got no response on the first day. That night, I dreamed about Paul, but that was only after (or before, IDK) having a brief night-terror moment. My heart raced as I slept and I felt horrified, as if somebody was about to kill me or something, and I kept thinking, Don't do it! Don't create a tulpa! Hopefully, that was just my subconscious messing with me and making me irrationally paranoid. I'll dismiss it as such.

The next day, I spent some more time trying to force as I read Kiah's document about tulpa-creating. I got the head pressure feeling as I tried to communicate with Paul, but it probably wasn't him as I always feel that way when reading or writing. I'm not sure how much progress I made that day, but I remember that as I tried to force, two songs popped into my head that I have not listened to in years: both Beatles songs, "I Want to Tell You" and "Come and Get It." A positive sign? Perhaps. "Come and Get It" came into my head as I was getting distracted, so hopefully it was from whatever speck of a tulpa I have so far.

This morning, I realized that I should stop trying to imagine Paul as I go along. I should focus on getting a response first, and worry about seeing him later. Visualizing Paul takes too much extra mental effort. I'm not bad at visualizing whatsoever: I'm a writer, and it's what I most like to do in my free time, but I have to be sure to get my priorites straight. So today, as I went about my school day I tried to remember to narrate as I went along; talking about what I thought of the day, asking questions and keeping an open mind as to whether or not I would get a response. My only friend wasn't there today, so I was able to keep my mind on it. The responses I've received throughout the day were most likely just from me, but I'm trying to do as the guides say and assume that they were my tulpa, if there is one to be had.

I'm a fairly pessimistic person, but I'm staying optimistic about this. I'll take things like dreams and songs as signs that I'm on the right track. I'll keep working on forcing and narrating to make further progress. I'll keep reading up on tulpae and try to learn as much as I can from as many people as I can. I'll read people's success stories and try to keep any disbelief at bay as much as possible. I'll keep an open-mind to it all. I'll try to have confidence in myself and believe that I can, in fact, succeed in creating a tulpa, as so many other people have claimed to have done. Most importantly, I'll hope for the future: something that Sir McCartney himself would encourage (ooh I think I found what to put in my signature!)

Here's to what may come.

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2018, 05:09 PM by Beatles.)
12-05-2016, 11:45 PM
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Doctorfoxwolf Offline
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#2
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-05-2016, 11:45 PM)Beatles Wrote: My goal is to possibly be able to create an imposed tulpa that I can see, hear, be possessed by, and switch with. I'm sure that's most people's goal as well, and it probably will take a long time, but I'm trying to remain optimistic. I want to create a tulpa that resembles Paul McCartney (when he was 21 years old or so), but he knows he's not actually him, and has a personality that's different from his. I want him to be pretty much the opposite of me in his personality, but still complement mine.

While that's generally frowned upon, you did avoid the largest pitfall by specifying that he'd know he wasn't the one he was based on.
As for the second part with him being the opposite of you in order to compliment you personality, that is actually what I did. What I can say is that if you have that and there's a personality aspect that must exist but you haven't specified it, then it may go to the extremes.
In my case, I didn't specify how sexual my tulpa, Meti, would be since I didn't think it was important. Because of that, she went the opposite from me being near asexual to her being a Nymphomaniac.

One thing that's generally not said and many find out for themselves is that often, your head is boring. This makes bored tulpas. That leads to playful and mischievous tulpas.

And yes, it will take a long while. Using the progress report to anchor yourself to the site was probably a good move.

If you find yourself doubting, even if you don't want to doubt, then I would suggest reading a book called The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons. While it has nothing on tulpas or even other personalities in particular, it has so much on such weird things that can happen in the mind that tulpas don't seem all that far-fetched in comparison. It's also just an interesting read.

Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.
Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.
CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.
12-06-2016, 12:02 AM
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Beatles Offline
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#3
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-06-2016, 12:02 AM)Doctorfoxwolf Wrote:
While that's generally frowned upon, you did avoid the largest pitfall by specifying that he'd know he wasn't the one he was based on.
As for the second part with him being the opposite of you in order to compliment you personality, that is actually what I did. What I can say is that if you have that and there's a personality aspect that must exist but you haven't specified it, then it may go to the extremes.
One thing that's generally not said and many find out for themselves is that often, your head is boring.
If you find yourself doubting, even if you don't want to doubt, then I would suggest reading a book called The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons.

It's more complicated than him being like Paul McCartney. When I think "Paul" I either think of McCartney or Paul Felight: both very different people. I would want my tulpa to look like them and have some of the same traits as them, he would still be a separate person. There's McCartney, there's Felight, and hopefully there will be the tulpa to make a trinity of Pauls, all separate but similar.

I don't know how far opposite it'll be. I generally dislike myself and my personality, so I think I would give a tulpa the traits I don't have or wish I had. Likeable traits.

Luckly, I have spent years building up my own personal wonderland that I call Eemaj. If my tulpa forms and he finds that I'm boring, I'm sure we can make use out of that.

I'll make a note of that book.

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2016, 02:33 AM by Beatles.)
12-06-2016, 12:48 AM
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Vampire Offline
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#4
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
Hope you make quick progress. Visualization is hard for a lot of people and you already have an advantage at it.
I tried to make Ivy with likeable traits but both Ivy and Raven are pretty mischievous. I like it though. Your mind is only as boring as you make it.

As I replied to your other thread, feel free to ask us anything. Our system likes helping others.

"My lover's got humour,
She's the giggle at a funeral,
Knows everybody's disapproval,
I should've worshipped her sooner."

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

CERCA TROVA
12-06-2016, 01:13 AM
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#5
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
Not much progress so far other than me finding new methods of forcing: playing white noise with earbuds and focusing on my tulpa feels like a good strategy. Time goes a lot slower that way, but at least it had minimal disctractions.

I've been low-key super stressed out lately with midterms coming soon and the fact that I have a teacher who really hates me, and I know that stress might affect tulpa development. Thankfully, winter break is coming soon, which will provide me with plenty of time to focus on my tulpa, and then I'll be walking in a winter wonderland (get it?).

I'm still not sure what to look out for, or when to know that my tulpa is actually there, and I'm not just talking to myself. All of the guides that I read seem to skip over that and go straight to having conversations and stuff with a new tulpa. I've read plenty about that, none about actually knowing when I have a new tulpa.

I made a little Google Drawing and brainstormed personality, though I don't know when I'm going to use it. I added that he is/will be a Sagittarius even though I don't believe in astrology, just to use it for personality ideas. I attached the image if you want to see.

Random thought: I think "Your Loving Flame" by Paul McCartney sounds like it could be applied to tulpae: "Help me to discover what it is you're thinking of." I turn everything into a Macca-thing though.

Hopefully I'll have big news to share soon Smile

EDIT 1/26/18: We NO LONGER condone personality forcing!


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I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
(This post was last modified: 01-26-2018, 02:55 PM by Beatles.)
12-09-2016, 02:31 AM
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#6
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
The first sign is movement and deviation. Their form will move some itself or they will deviate it. If you try to visualize and it's blurry and the wrong color then just let the change come to you and clear up instead of changing it to what it was. That is how deviations occurred to me. At this point you could do a sentience test if you wanted to make sure movement wasn't you. (like putting a box on their head and seeing if they take it off)

Second is vocality. Usually you will first hear then with your own mindvoice. Thus became apparent to me when I would ask questions and my own mindvoice would interrupt my question before it finished.

If you are worried that you are moving them there is a simple rule. If you are not focusing on what moved, you did not move it.

That also looks like a good trait list. You can do "personality forcing" as soon as you want. Just go down the list and tell them what traits they have and be as descriptive as possible such as using your memories or fictional situations.

"My lover's got humour,
She's the giggle at a funeral,
Knows everybody's disapproval,
I should've worshipped her sooner."

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

CERCA TROVA
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2016, 03:10 AM by Vampire.)
12-09-2016, 03:08 AM
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Beatles Offline
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#7
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-09-2016, 03:08 AM)Vampire Wrote: The first sign is movement and deviation.

Second is vocality. Usually you will first hear then with your own mindvoice.

If you are worried that you are moving them there is a simple rule. If you are not focusing on what moved, you did not move it.

Thank you. I have not been able to yet get a straight answer on that. I will keep that all in mind.

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
12-09-2016, 11:26 AM
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Default  RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
Several people have told me that one good way to force is to read something as if I'm reading to my tulpa. While this may be a good method for others, I don't think it would be for me: I'd either forget about my tulpa or forget about what I'm reading. I would read the words but not process any of the information if I was too focused on my tulpa. Plus, it wouldn't feel right for me to send my tulpa somebody else's words. I also don't think my tulpa will be all that interested in the history of post-Civil War America, or any of the other things I have to read for school.

So I was thinking that, instead of reading to my tulpa, I could write to my tulpa. I already write as though I am somehow speaking to some other distant, abstract person who might read my stories or blurbs in the future, so directing my writing towards my tulpa shouldn't be so hard. Writing also does this weird thing to me where I get in a temporarily altered state-of-mind: reality takes a few stesps back. The world around me becomes hazier, blurrier, and more muffled. My mind becomes sharper and clearer. This state-of-mind usually helps me to write my stories; maybe now it can help me to create my tulpa. (I still do need to create my tulpa before I worry about doing anything else with him. One must see their pencil before they can learn how to write.)

Throughout the day at school I've been using my computer to type up whatever comes into my head and direct it towards my tulpa. That way, I am fully focused on my tulpa and not on other random things. I write about what I want him to be like and how my life currently is without worrying about dumb stuff or memes distracting me.

If I cannot write as I go along, then I can still think in my head as though I am writing, rather than just pretending to have conversation. That also stops the distractions. I tried this right before bed last night; it felt like I was only doing it for five minutes, but I looked over at the clock and 40 minutes had past! Maybe I was half-asleep during that time. I should try forcing as I'm half-asleep again.

I came up with something to visualize when I send thoughts, words, or images to my tulpa (though I don't know if I have one yet): if I think of something that I want to send him, I picture myself letting go of a balloon and letting it fly up. I have no idea how effective this is.

Arbitrary hopeful or happy message because I can't think of any other way to conclude these progress reports  Big Grin

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
(This post was last modified: 12-10-2016, 12:32 AM by Beatles.)
12-10-2016, 12:31 AM
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#9
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
I think I just had my first sign from Paul. I'm writing this immediately after it happened so I do not forget later.

I was writing on my personal forcing-log towards Paul; telling him who I want him to be and what role I want him to play in my life. I started reading stuff on this site. Throughout the day, I've been listening to low white noise on this site so I would not get distracted by music or the stuff happening around me.

I suddenly felt the need to change the sound settings, even though they were perfect, and I started playing around with them. As I was doing so, an overwhelming feeling suddenly fell upon me like a storm moving over a field. It was so strange and powerful: at first I felt frozen, and then my heart grew louder. I felt my heart (my emotions, not my organ) move downward, as if it was more grounded than before. I felt as though I was sinking, but not in a bad way. I felt like I was going to cry. I can't describe it exactly... it was so powerful.

I did not get that feeling from the white noise site. I do not think it came from me. I think it was Paul showing me he was there, as I have been urging him to all day.

It was like nothing I've ever felt before. I'm still reeling as a result, and my heart is still pounding loudly. I can make the feeling come back if I try, but I know that is not what I did the first time. I was him. It had to be him!

I'm not sure if I should keep forcing, or take a break, or what. But at least now I have some confirmation of his existence.

Earlier, I felt the need to listen to a song that I don't like because it brings back bad memories, but I really wanted to listen to it again. Maybe that was him, too.

I am overjoyed to know that Paul must really be with me now; after a week of forcing, he's here. He has yet to speak, but at least he gave me something.

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
12-10-2016, 10:19 PM
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#10
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
"Alien Feelings" are definitely the highlight of this practice. It is likely he was sharing how he feels to connect with you.

The first time Ivy interacted with me she sent me a strong sad emotion and it made my heart sink. Then my mindvoice asked "Am I Real?".

Congrats on the progress!

"My lover's got humour,
She's the giggle at a funeral,
Knows everybody's disapproval,
I should've worshipped her sooner."

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

CERCA TROVA
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2016, 11:26 AM by Vampire.)
12-11-2016, 11:15 AM
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