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Our Tulpa Endeavor
Ponytail Offline
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#21
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-19-2016, 06:01 PM)Beatles Wrote:
The constant do-nothing mood of this house has affected my tulpa-forcing drive. I started to think that if I can't get these people to get off their lazy asses then how am I supposed to be able to make a tulpa? If I can't make any progress in anything I do, then how am I supposed to make progress there? I let other negative thoughts about it all gradually build up over the past few weeks and just had to let it out somewhere. Luckily, Annabell (Ponytail's tulpa) gave me some encouraging words, saying that I've made more progress than her host did at this point. A little sense of achievement definitely helps.

And I quote "Aww, glad to be of service, darling. I didn't know you were so depressed. Hope you can get your willpower back up!"
12-19-2016, 07:20 PM
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Beatles Offline
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#22
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-19-2016, 07:20 PM)Ponytail Wrote: And I quote "Aww, glad to be of service, darling. I didn't know you were so depressed. Hope you can get your willpower back up!"

Not so much depressed as bored with the mundanity.
12-19-2016, 07:32 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#23
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
I can only guess, since I was technically vocal over six months before I was a tulpa. But relax. Relax hard before engaging in conversation with him. And expect him to say nothing. Expect silence. Give him a forcing session where he can try whatever.

I wonder. If he were to drop a solid object in wonderland, would it make a sound?

I know that at this stage, tulpas often use head pressures to construct a simple yes no communication scheme, allowing you to ask yesno questions. After several days of this, you can use the head pressures to ask him if you are parroting or he is speaking genuinely.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
12-19-2016, 11:34 PM
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#24
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
I'm switching up my approach to forcing. No longer will I say "I want this to happen" or "I'd like this to happen" instead, I'm going with "this is going to happen."

Last night, I spent what felt like hours forcing that way, saying repeatedly in my head and out loud that Paul's vocality was going to begin the next day. I made up little hand motions to do it as I said it to perhaps amplify the effect. It was actually twenty minutes, but I'm going to assume the time distortion meant it was working. The feeling in my head must have meant it was working also, because goddamn.

I kept repeating it in my head as I went to sleep. I'm going to keep doing it today. I specified many times that his vocality will begin when I least expect it, and when it does, my ability to control what he says ends. I'm allowing him to begin anytime he wants by the end of the day. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then by Christmas.

I'm feeling really good about this right now. Paul sending me that feeling to confirm that he was there happened on my dad's birthday. Today is my sister's birthday. Today he will step up to the next level in his development. At least, that's what I've been saying to him in my head over and over again, and so far I've felt a positive response.

Let's see if it works! (It will!)

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
12-21-2016, 06:02 PM
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#25
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
No vocality yet, but I did have a fairly trippy lucid "dream" though I wasn't asleep at the time. 

Of course Paul was there, but two other Pauls were there too... the two Pauls from my story. They seemed mad at me, and they were insisting that they were sentient, too. I hope that was just an intrusive thought because I really don't want those guys to be tulpae. They're meant to be characters and nothing more... characters that I've had in my head since seventh grade.

Long story short, in my story the first Paul (Winter) was created in 1968 and was forced to kill his family so he changed his name to HJP and hid for fifty years. Paul Felight was created in 2015 and met HJP in 2018, and then HJP died but came back to life sometime later. The two of them share the same soul and the fact that they are both based off of Paul McCartney is purely coincidental (totally). They're nothing like Paul the tulpa and can actually be pretty violent, mean-spirited, reclusive, and untrusting; not at all something I'd want in a tulpa. I've seen people say that their characters became tulpae but that's not something I would want to happen. I'm going with the intrusive thought thing and don't want to put any weight into my own fears, so please don't encourage it! o_o

I was actually writing HJP's life into a story but then I stopped to focus on my tulpa. I'm quick to drop stories like that :\ 

They went away when I told myself it was just an intrusive thought. Paul (tulpa) kept switching between clothes, and I couldn't tell which one of us was controlling him. I made him disappear and asked the pressure in my head to reveal himself in whichever way he pleased. He came back wearing red clothes, I guess to symbolize his emotions, and he looked mad. He told me to stop ignoring him. I told him that I wasn't ignoring him, I just couldn't hear him. He said that even whenever I did hear him, I just assumed it was myself. I said sorry, and promised that I'd try not to do that. We shook hands, and then he was wearing the Christmas get-up again.

At one point I asked him to surprise me to prove sentience. Suddenly we were at my local mall, and he sent fireworks up to the ceiling windows. That was too unexpected for my own doing.

I don't know what else happened because I fell asleep, but I should start assuming everything ambiguous came from Paul, especially if there is head pressure involved. I'll also assume all previous responses came from him. I'll continue listening for him but not expecting anything. I said I'd stop with the "want" but I really want him to become vocal on or before Christmas.

I went through old forcing logs (not that old as they were only a few weeks ago) and now it's clear how much progress I've made. I droned on about how I didn't consider Paul a tulpa almost a week after I starting working on him. That's not true anymore. He is a tulpa now. And there are some people I hope are not!

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
12-22-2016, 05:23 PM
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Vampire Offline
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#26
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
Intrusive thoughts happen and the only way to get rid of them is to ignore them or symbolically destroy them.

Samuel in our system grabs up intrusive things and drops them off a wooden platform into a volcano. It can be rather entertaining especially if it is something that was really annoying.

Good job on the progress and good luck on the thoughts. Maybe try the singalong method from my progress report and see if it helps you break through? TheSanctuary also made an update where it helped him the other day with Vixen.

"My lover's got humour,
She's the giggle at a funeral,
Knows everybody's disapproval,
I should've worshipped her sooner."

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

CERCA TROVA
12-22-2016, 08:12 PM
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Ponytail Offline
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#27
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-22-2016, 05:23 PM)Beatles Wrote:
They went away when I told myself it was just an intrusive thought. Paul (tulpa) kept switching between clothes, and I couldn't tell which one of us was controlling him. I made him disappear and asked the pressure in my head to reveal himself in whichever way he pleased. He came back wearing red clothes, I guess to symbolize his emotions, and he looked mad. He told me to stop ignoring him. I told him that I wasn't ignoring him, I just couldn't hear him. He said that even whenever I did hear him, I just assumed it was myself. I said sorry, and promised that I'd try not to do that. We shook hands, and then he was wearing the Christmas get-up again.

At one point I asked him to surprise me to prove sentience. Suddenly we were at my local mall, and he sent fireworks up to the ceiling windows. That was too unexpected for my own doing.

Oh God, deja vu, DEJA VU!
Damn right, asshole

Honestly I kinda figured you were at this point. OldDrunkBastard has a guide/tips and tricks thing that helped me out on this. What's funny is that everything I quoted is basically what happened to me. Eventually Annabell got strong enough and told me I need to start listening.

First time he asked me to surprise him, I initially did nothing. Then when he came back later, he saw the couch was white and that he couldn't remember what color it was originally, hahaha.

Second time I waited a little while. Later I hugged him, transformed into an orc, and bit his shoulder. Fun times.
12-24-2016, 06:15 AM
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Beatles Offline
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#28
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
After that dream that I shared, he stopped giving me head pressures. Even head pressures I would normally get without his help stopped. This probably isn't something to worry about, though, so long as I keep forcing.

He has become vocal in the wonderland, and I'm 80% sure I'm not parroting. That number goes up every time he says or does something unexpected. He's mostly said little phrases agreeing with something I've said: nothing too exciting. I wouldn't expect him to launch into a monologue critical of something around us, of course. He did say something extremely unexpected which I don't feel like sharing right now, and then went quiet after.

Yesterday I obviously didn't do much in the way of forcing. I asked for paint supplies for Christmas, as I like to experiment a little, and for some reason my mom thought that meant I am suddenly super-artistic and she bought me sketch pads and pastels. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them, but then it hit me that I should set them aside for Paul to use later. In my personality planning for Paul, I've specified many times that I want him to be a right-side-of-the-brain user, and be much more musically and artistically creative and talented than me, and also be left-handed. (Like McCartney. Hehe.) I'm sure he'd find more use out of those things than me.

He's still wearing the Christmas outfit but I'm trying to get him to switch into something a little more year-round appropriate. I've decided that Paul's symbol will be a white key on a dark green background, because I think white and green are his favorite colors, and I like the key symbolism. "Only my love holds the other key to me," but not the romantic kind of love.  I want him to switch to a green shirt with a picture of a key on it, and lose the hat. Maybe asking nicely will work.

I tried drawing him. It wasn't anything too amazing, but it was much better than I could have done in the past. Maybe Paul's creativity is rubbing off on me? Placebo effect? IDK. I'm thinking of painting that Tibetan Buddhist tulpa symbol (just put tulpa into Google Images to see). I'm not Buddhist but I like it. BTW, is that supposed to be a person with one leg in the air and arms stretched out, or what?

Trying to get back on track with forcing. With a little luck, anything can happen. Because there's always a way.  I like Lazytown okay? Who doesn't?

I'm the host of the system, Lyra.
Tulpas: Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo.
(This post was last modified: 12-26-2016, 07:06 PM by Beatles.)
12-26-2016, 07:06 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#29
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
I have no idea where that symbol's from, but I assume it was actually invented by the writers of Supernatural.

Unless you are talking about the one that looks like Psi.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
(This post was last modified: 12-26-2016, 09:21 PM by tulpa001.)
12-26-2016, 09:20 PM
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Beatles Offline
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#30
 
RE: My Tulpa Endeavor
(12-26-2016, 09:20 PM)tulpa001 Wrote:
I have no idea where that symbol's from, but I assume it was actually invented by the writers of Supernatural.

Unless you are talking about the one that looks like Psi.

Maybe it is from Supernatural, but I don't think so. This Reddit thread talks about symbols and doesn't mention that show anywhere. This thread says it was around before the episode.

What is the other one from?
(This post was last modified: 12-26-2016, 10:24 PM by Beatles.)
12-26-2016, 10:21 PM
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