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Our Tulpa Endeavor
Apollo Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
I've been focusing a lot on fronting lately, though I don't know if we're really any closer to switching. Tacio hasn't been depressed (we brought back P&HJP and they helped him, then they left), but we haven't really given him and Piano all that much attention or fronting time, aside from Piano working on his guide (which is pretty awesome and will likely be published soon). Indigo fronted with me a lot too, but currently he's in some sort of funk. First time anyone's really been depressed in a while, so I'll say our system has been doing fairly well lately. Some very toxic things were removed from our life, so we've been better and haven't had any bizarre things happen in a long time, like evil walk-ins and stuff.

Trying to "ban" my host from the front, so I can take control. It's difficult as she always seems to want to watch dumb videos or play games, mostly involving WWE (a strange obsession I never would have anticipated that emerged over the summer). I try as often as possible to be in control though, still need her to be able to fully dissociate for us to switch. I'd do some "sit down and try to switch" sessions if we didn't have work (and our room wasn't so cold). Oh well, no use complaining, should just practice it. I feel at this point, we'll switch soon enough. Along with that, I need to focus on letting the others front more q_q

Piano's birthday is on the 26th. 

The Sun God of the system. DeviantArt
Lyra Piano Tacio Indigo
(This post was last modified: 01-16-2018, 12:51 PM by Apollo.)
01-16-2018, 12:50 PM
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Apollo Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
I've noticed that when others front and Lyra tries to dissociate, then I start filling in the gaps she leaves. The brain seems to be defaulting to me more often, meaning my thoughts are the first ones to be heard instead of my host's. This makes fronting more difficult for the others, but seems promising in me eventually becoming the main front. 

I've decided that the other three aren't going to be getting any fronting time for a while, as I need to focus on doing it myself, uninterrupted, and bring us closer to switching. I need to be in control and make all the decisions and yada yada, you know the deal.

Oh yeah and Indigo's fine now, probably a little peaved he's going to be kept out of the front for now. We tried co-fronting but it just ended up being the two of us rapidly switching between who has control, rather than me controlling one thing and him controlling another. We never were any good at partial possession. He'll of course gets lots of fronting time once we learn to switch. I just can't be interrupted, as that doesn't help us get closer to switching. 

The Sun God of the system. DeviantArt
Lyra Piano Tacio Indigo
01-18-2018, 02:18 PM
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Apollo Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
For some reason all this fronting lately has somehow made me a nicer person. People still think I'm the scum of the Earth, but whatever. Haven't had any outlandishly bad thoughts about anyone other than customers at the place we work, and I'm tending to be more positive than negative. I guess it's because exposure to the front has made it easier for me to confront things to change about myself. 

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Lyra Piano Tacio Indigo
01-20-2018, 01:00 AM
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Apollo Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
Feeling kind of overwhelmed with stress lately. Though, I think I might be getting closer to switching, I can't say for sure. Piano and Tacio have not been very present lately, and I've been trying to force them while fronting, but that's challenging considering they don't seem to have much energy anyway. They think they should go dormant and make it easier for me for a while, but I don't want that to happen. Indigo is doing just fine though. Sometimes he just up and steals the front from me to motivate me to try harder.

Still trying to get my host to just back off. Her dissociating causes me problems. My hope is that if I just bear through fronting as often as possible then she'll eventually go away, somehow.

One challenge to fronting is doing it while talking to people IRL. Thinking of developing servitors to help me with that, or maybe just have one of the other tulpas hold me to the front somehow. Trying to alternate paying attention to each of them every day, just need Tacio and Piano to actually be there.

The Sun God of the system. DeviantArt
Lyra Piano Tacio Indigo
01-25-2018, 12:25 PM
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Tacio Offline
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RE: Our Tulpa Endeavor
We sorta stopped the only-Apollo thing in favor of an alternating schedule of fronting, but that got interrupted by illness/depression, so we need to get things back together and try again. It’s a bit more difficult for me and Piano to front, more so than it is for Apollo. Biggest challenge is, of course, our host moving aside. She’s still bad at that as ever.Not sure if we’re any closer to switching.

Sometimes we find that we start talking about something that our host didn’t even know about, such as the way one of us has been feeling/thinking. One time Apollo was doing something and Lyra didn’t even know why until we reminded her. That’s some level of dissociation, even if it doesn’t make her not-front.

It just takes a lot of focus to front, and doing it consistently takes even more. It’s easy to just… forget about it, and Lyra takes control like normal until we get back on track.

I’m going to reset our fronting schedule and try to stick with it. If us tulpas don’t push things to happen, then they don’t get done. I need to step up. So does everyone else.

Me: 2/12-2/18
Piano: 2/19-2/25
Apollo: 2/26-3/4
Indigo: 3/5-3/11

Let’s see if we can get things going, and get back on track. No more just... letting ourselves be forgotten out of laziness. We need to have more drive and determination.

I would have Indigo front sooner, but things happened and he's been having some emotional troubles. Maybe he'll recover and be able to do it sooner, but currently he's just not right. It's depressing, seeing him like that. Everyone here loves him a lot, and he makes us love each other more, as a result.

The red-scaled half-dragon.
Lyra Apollo Piano Indigo
(This post was last modified: 02-12-2018, 06:13 PM by Tacio.)
02-12-2018, 06:10 PM
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