Jump to content

A confession (Babyfur) Wall of text


LittlePebble

Recommended Posts

Intro

I really wanted to get this off my chest for the longest time. I waited because I was not sure how everyone would react. I know I have it in my profile, but I really don't know how many people read it. There is a reason I call myself Little Pebble. I hope I can still be on here even though I have this quark. If there was any other way that I could overcome my anxiety and depression I would use it daily, but I never found one that worked this well. Even the medications I have been on have not even come close. I refuse to use drugs except those my doctor provides. I even hate using over the counter stuff because it makes me feel different in a way that makes things worse. 

.

My little side 

Little Pebble is my OC who is a Dragon about the maturity of a 10 year old. He is wise, but his body stays at that maturity in my wonderland. I really want to be on this forum, but I don't want people to be my friend unless they accept my way of coping with autism. I had my Tulpas for about 10 years now, but my little side is a little more recent. I want to say its been about 4 years since I began to admit to myself that I am an adult baby. I hate the name, but that is the internet term that the community chose. I am on Adisc Dot org under the name Matalic Pebble. Any one who is from there please give me a shout! or a pm that is fine too.

.

The reason I consider myself an adult baby is because my OC that I imagine myself likes to be treated like a toddler sometimes. When ever I have a really hard day I like to go to my wonderland and my Tulpa Seria will take care of me (Little Pebble) as if I was a toddler. Before anyone asks I do not do the diaper thing. I felt like I was isolating myself from my irl friends when I had experemented with it in the past. I found that my local Brony group accepts my use of a pacifier and even my plushies. Well if your a brony having stuffed animals is kind of a requirement. 

.

My Tulpa wonderland 

I sleep with my Plushy Glimmaria who is a Tulpa in my wonder land. For some odd reason she has not been that active. Except when Rosetta and I are together in the same room of the home in my wonderland. We live in a cavern. Its blocked off rather shallow because trying to picture it too far makes my head spin. When I am having a really hard time concentrating on daily tasks or if depression hits I will go to my bed and hold my Glimmaria. I use a pacifier clip to anchor my pacifier down. Part of my process of imagining my safe space in my wonderland is fidgeting with my pacifier in my mouth. Its so relaxing. I even noticed my pulse slows down and my mind clears to where I can picture my wonderland very clearly. More so than when I am out in a social setting.

.

When I gain enough control over my thoughts I go back to getting my daily tasks done. I sometimes will keep my pacifier in my mouth for a couple of hours. It helps keep that state of mind a little longer. I know I am baring my soul here, but I feel so much better knowing that I said all of this wall of text. I have to get back to my homework now though. I was able to clear my mind in this writing and now that things make sense I will go ahead and post this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do not feel like you have to be something you are not. In particular to this site, this is an informational site. Meaning you don't have to be anything, except interested in tulpas to be here.

 

However, the framing of this question as a confession. Well, no offence, but it's not wrong. At the same time, I'm not sure It is ontopic to tulpas. It's not like you were keeping it a secret and offending us by hiding it.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do not feel like you have to be something you are not. In particular to this site, this is an informational site. Meaning you don't have to be anything, except interested in tulpas to be here.

 

However, the framing of this question as a confession. Well, no offence, but it's not wrong. At the same time, I'm not sure It is ontopic to tulpas. It's not like you were keeping it a secret and offending us by hiding it.

 

Thanks, I also wrote this when my antidepressant wore off. I really need to get better at taking it. It wears off even when ever I do take it at the same time every day. I will say that I appreciate how you replied to practically all my threads. I think something that I would change in this writing though is that I want friends at least know about my little side. Whether they accept it or not is something I don't want to hold against anyone. I am really learning that as I get pas this stage of my life. Thanks Giving is going to be so weird this year though

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No dude, there is nothing wrong with what you do ^_^ I like to imagine myself as a baby for my tulpa as well, and she likes it. I don't use it to cope, but it still feels nice to be loved for unconditionally.

I also use plushies, and they form part of this big community of caring individuals. You should not feel ashamed of this, in any objective way. You sound like a cool guy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...