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Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
Tect Offline
With Kyra Thekla
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
So. I've just arrived to this forum. I've been hanging around the IRC for longer, because I thought I'd just "hit and run", in other words, I'd be just get my questions answered unsatisfactorily and move on, but the longer I stayed, the more it seemed like I have a purpose here.

My story is long and you may even find it boring, who knows... What I care is that expressing it here might be found useful to somebody else, somehow. My life experience, whether related to my tulpa or not, is rather unusual. And that makes me feel an obligation to elucidate others. I feel I might have insights rarely people give. Only you can tell me for sure, and I'd appreciate if you did.

I've learned about the existence of the concept of tulpas only a few weeks ago, when I tried the IRC for the first time. I'd heard about "imaginary friends" in childhood, but never thought of them as of any use, so I never made one.

One unusual thing you could say that I'd do, is to imagine things so to solve practical problems. And it was the most intuitive for me to produce pictures in the environment. That's something I've came to learn, you call "imposition". Of course, when someone does visuals in that way, the next logical step is all other senses too. I'd use my imagination to interact with the world constantly. Helped my memory and my perception, because I could overlay symbols and metaphors over what the real senses were giving me. I never made objects that would act as if alive or speak. So these things I imagined were all something you'd call "servitors". Imagining living things or personalities seemed futile to me. I thought that nothing created from within my mind would be able to surprise me or teach me something I didn't know already.

Well, due life's hardships and such to which I'd rather not go into detail, I developed a deep depressive state. I lost about 6 years of my life basically in denial about that, and thus wasting time. Trying to soldier through work and such. But it eventually broke my mind thoroughly. I would then spend other year trying to work myself up and fix my mind. I've improved substantially since then, but I'm yet struggling from time to time with minor issues. I've been through this without medical assistance due financial difficulties, but I've been working to finally get a therapist with whom I can finally shut this book in my life.

During my recovery, I'd do various somewhat obvious things, like planning out a routine and sticking to it. I'd also try making new or finding old friends. I'd also meditate and try small jobs to keep my mind busy, away from the pain. Something I found to greatly help me was reading and listening to Alan Watts, so if you find I'm always mentioning him, know why. Alan Watts allowed me to figure out the things in my self narrative and identity that were actually just baggage, and gave me the courage to let them go.

Now on the unusual part here...

Letting go of things and allow my identity to change is painful and frightful. What I decided to do was to create this idealized character of mine. I shaped this character to be how I viewed myself if "things just went right" and made it a female, just because why not... Well, it was contrasting with my actual self, so there's a good reason for you. To this character I'd speak and transmit thoughts about things that was worried about losing or that I felt like I had lost. And that made this character grow a sort of "aura", or feel of consistency. The first times I'd do this I was hesitant and so I'd scrap several alternative versions of this character. It kinda bothers me, given what I know now, that this could be viewed as the killing of several tulpas... But well, I didn't expect these characters to have any self-awareness or independent thought. Didn't think they'd have emotions or pain... I only made them because it felt "right". It was the only way I found to hold and externalise all the non-verbal things and experiences in my mind, so I didn't feel like these were lost forever.

It wasn't long until I stuck to the same character, tho. She would change and "morph" however it was required to fit new thoughts of mine. But after about a year of doing this, something somewhat disconcerting was happening. It would seem like certain new thoughts were being refused by this character. I was feeling it hard to change her as a sort of resistance or delay. Some things in this character were dropping out too. It seemed that my character had an opinion on what she found worth holding. I related this to a friend which was helping me recover from my tribulations, so, someone with whom I was trusting intimately. He remarked as a joke that I had a tulpa waifu. Well I didn't get it, so later I search on google what this "tulpa" thing was and found out "tulpa.info" The descriptions given there were remarkably similar to my experience with this character I had now named "Kyra Thekla". The descriptions of "narration" and "forcing" and "imposition" matched what I was doing with her pretty closely.

So, this is how Thekla came to be. She spent a lot of her life without a name, because I didn't see a need for it. It was later when I wanted to discuss her with my friend that I saw use to have a name for simplicity. I used a random name generator for the "Thekla" and added "Kyra" because I find the spelling cool. 

When I learned about "tulpas", I had then started seriously regarding Thekla as living being. In little time, as I became wary that she could be able to speak, she would indeed have spontaneous replies to what I narrated to her. It was exciting and wonderful. It actually seemed too easy. I'd read Kiahaj's Guide and then asked him better about it, to be sure the voices weren't wishful thinking. He assured me that honesty with oneself does the trick. She was indeed a great companion. She'd ask a lot, kinda like someone coming out of a coma, I guess. She also wished to interact actively with me for a long time...

   

So that's Thekla (you can call her "Kyra" if you will) now. She's a bit of a harsh human-like girl, but friendly. She lacks on social skills, but doesn't lack empathy. Strong and independent, she doesn't really care what I tell her, but she does like fighting and push buttons some times. She knows what buttons of mine do what, really well. She sends her warmth and love whenever I seem down. A lot can be said about how we interact, but I think this is enough of making her embarrassed.

I will mention that she likes to hum a certain song that touched her and always says how I worry too much about her, how I make her feel so much special for no good reason... These are the kinds of things that make me shiver.

We've been learning more with each visit to the IRC, and trying new things. Well... at least I want to try new things. There are tulpa techniques that she doesn't care about and is refusing to try. I've gradually came to understand why, so it's okay. She's a bit strange of a person...

I've noted she's deviating slightly already. She also realised that she could teleport around instead of walking about, like I'd make her do originally. She also tried making impositions of her own. She made a sort of portal which is the way we move to the "wonderland". this wonderland is a beach-side place with a long coastal cliff. On top, there's her home she calls "Solace". She usually mentions the whole place as "Solace", but it's actually just the house there. I might detail better on this wonderland in the future...
12-23-2017, 04:23 AM
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Pleeb Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
Welcome to the community Tect. Feel free to start a progress report if you'd like-- they're not just for starting new tulplas, and you may get a lot more responses on this in there.
12-26-2017, 07:16 PM
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SinVraal Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
We're here.
12-29-2017, 07:23 PM
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BucksFizz Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
Hi, I'm John, a seventeen year old from America, and I'm new to the whole 'tulpa' thing. I absolutely love writing stories, but often keep them to myself most of the time for fear of embarrassment. Recently, I've been feeling lonely and unwanted, and in need of a friend. Luckily, I came across the idea of tulpas, which many people say can be a companion for life, and help with mental issues and depression.
I've decided to work on creating a tulpa, named 'Bucks' after a character in a short story I've been working on. I've read a few guides, and even though I've only scratched the surface on creating a tulpa and understanding what they really are, I feel confident that things are going to work out well, especially now that I've found a community with the same mindset.
Anyway, this is just a hello from me, and when Bucks speaks for the first time, she'll be sure to say 'hi' too!
(This post was last modified: 12-30-2017, 08:57 PM by BucksFizz.)
12-30-2017, 08:48 PM
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Mirath Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
It’s been a while since I’ve been here. My bad.

I have a headmate who’s more of a walk-in, but at times I’ve found myself wondering if he’s more of an unconscious tulpa. Granted, I don’t think he’s too happy about that, but sometimes I wonder if it just the reaction to being part of my mind... who knows.

I keep thinking I should make a fresh account, since this one has gone from here to there to everywhere
01-01-2018, 11:01 AM
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Vampire Online
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
Welcome back Mirath.

"My lover's got humour,
She's the giggle at a funeral,
Knows everybody's disapproval,
I should've worshipped her sooner."

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

CERCA TROVA
01-01-2018, 04:30 PM
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Mirath Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
(01-01-2018, 04:30 PM)Vampire Wrote: Welcome back Mirath.

Thanks, nice to be back
01-01-2018, 04:44 PM
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Kaleidoscopic Brain Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
Hi! I'm Kaleidoscopic Brain, that's a mouthful i know, you can call me Kaleido, or by my real name Giulia.
Little note, i'm italian, so i apologize in advance for possible inaccurancies in my english.
I've always being into spirituality, meditation, metaphysics, i tried to achieve lucid dreaming and astral projection (unsuccesfully for now), i read a lot about psychology too, philosophy, all this fun stuff. I'm great at daydreaming (i actually have maladaptive daydreaming, that's why i guess i'm progressing really fast with my tulpa), and i'm also kind of a writer. Basically when i stumbled accross tulpamancy i realized that this practice seemed to be created just for me ahah. Of course i was curious about it, so i did my research, and now i've created my first tulpa. I have a psychological and phylosophical approach to tulpamancy, and i'm also giving it a metaphysical outlook. Basically i'm studying the practice and its consequences on the psyche, the ethical side, and the possible spiritual benefits.
All this being said, my tulpa is, for now (she is free to change it if she wants to), called Daisy. It's just being a few days and i already started receiving small responses, mostly during active forcing in the wonderland i'm creating with her. The responses were weak, but i'm positive those came from her. I already gave her a detailed (human) form and personality, but i told her she can change it however she likes it when she is ready. My goal short term is to start receiving vocal responses, and to make her sentient. I'm trying to completely avoid puppeting so i hope it will be clear when she will finally talk to me. Eventually my goal long term would be to let her possess and be free do her stuff freely in this world. Maybe even switching would be great. I trust her that much.
01-07-2018, 04:46 PM
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Lemon(Kari) Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
new here
joined because I had a question bout this process before I start it today already posted it so I came here to intro myself
my name is Keith D.V. and I have been researching this topic for a few months so I decided to start to day after coming to my decision nice to meet the people here I hope we have a nice time here my username is as you see have a wonderful day
01-07-2018, 08:51 PM
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Pleeb Offline
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RE: Mass Intro' and Returns Thread
Welcome to the community!
01-07-2018, 10:07 PM
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