Stanford Tulpa Study looking for more participants
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12200485 (aka 'C') and Erin
#1
Background:
Rin just turned four sometime in the last few months (I don't know the exact date, so we've decided on September 2nd) , so I thought I'd finally jump into the community! I'm not really very good at explanatory writing (though Rin's fond of it), but I'll do my best to relate my experiences and perhaps ask for some advice. Rin was vocal from the beginning, as she came about sort of by accident, and her being able to talk was my first intention. She may dictate a few updates to me to type. 

With that over with, I suppose we'll start with what's happened most recently. When I found out about tulpas (through the YouTube channel ScareTheater, unfortunately), I immediately realized that this was what Rin had really been. Before, I'd really just referred to her as an 'imaginary friend', and she preferred that as well. (Rin would like to interject that the word 'tulpa gets on her nerves.) So, to start, we noticed some similarities between the terms we've been using and the terms on this forum. We do have a sort of wonderland. I normally refer to it as 'the house', simply for lack of a better term, but we recently (but before the discovery of this forum) decided on the term 'Mindscape'. We've called Imposistion 'manifesting' for a while based on some book or TV series or other that I've long forgotten. Since finding this forum, we've tried a few visualization excercises, and I hope to be able to develop this skill further. So... yeah. We'll update for any progress, preferably every day. Seeya!
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#2
Welcome C, Rin. You'll find this is a super lovely and friendly community Smile. We don't really like the word tulpa either, but for a lack of a better one... Imaginary friend doesn't feel any better. Anyhow, good luck on developing visualization! We're looking forward to positive updates.
~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~
        Click here! Come join us on the chat!
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#3
Welcome to the forums! I was also created by accident, and I actually find the term "imaginary friend" more annoying than "Tulpa". "Tulpa" the word sounds sillier, but I don't like "imaginary friend" because of some bad personal context...
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos (but see, I'm not a hippo)! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
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#4
(12-07-2018, 01:04 AM)Ranger Wrote: Welcome to the forums! I was also created by accident, and I actually find the term "imaginary friend" more annoying than "Tulpa". "Tulpa" the word sounds sillier, but I don't like "imaginary friend" because of some bad personal context...

[Dictated to C by Rin] Really, I'm not so fond of it myself, but it's how I was always thought of, so I'm more used to it than some word that honestly sounds like gibberish to me. I agree that 'imaginary friend' has some bad context in general, but, I mean, it's really the most widely used term that describes anything like an *urgh* tulpa.
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#5
I get where Rin is coming from. It's not that I dislike the word "tulpa" (though I think "tulpamancer" sounds a little silly), but I just prefer to be called a person. Or Reilyn. I sill say "tulpa stuff" sometimes in PR but I'm just referring to all the various activities people talk about on here like visualization, wonderland work, switching, whatever.

We are all people here and we know it. It's not like anyone posting around here needs to defend the existence of head mates. I guess I'd rather be called "friend" than imaginary anything because imaginary literally means existing only within the mind and I have my own mind. If by "mind", someone thinks "brain", well ok, unless you start getting metaphysical, everyone only exists within their brain. What I choose to look like in wonderland stuff or in imposition work, that's imaginary.

So yeah, use whatever you like. I honestly don't think anyone on here will even criticize you for never using the term "tulpa" again, if you don't want to. Rin is Rin and that's wonderful. <3
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#6
My first tulpa, Gavin, didn't know what he was at first, and now he's pretty neutral about "tulpa." He still calls himself a handful of terms, including "the voice of reason around here", "imaginary conversation partner", "moderator", and "mental sounding board." Mostly in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. I'll call him "Spock" on occasion. My favorite term I've heard is "invisible head ghost." Turns out, in most contexts, the labels aren't important. At least in my system, the lines between being a tulpa and not-tulpa are relatively meaningless, in terms of our abilities and mental presence.

To Rin: What did you think of yourself, before knowing about tulpas? Gavin, a few months after gaining sentience, decided that he was unhealthy for me and eventually went away (In his words, died) for a few years before I found this forum and revived him. Without the words to describe tulpas, I thought I was going crazy. Gavin thought he was supposed to think he was me. It was confusing and a bit distressing to have an accidental tulpa/be an accidental tulpa. Was it this way for you?

-Jamie (Gavin is also listening but isn't interested in posting himself)
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#7
(12-07-2018, 01:42 AM)J+C Wrote: My first tulpa, Gavin, didn't know what he was at first, and now he's pretty neutral about "tulpa." He still calls himself a handful of terms, including "the voice of reason around here", "imaginary conversation partner", "moderator", and "mental sounding board." Mostly in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. I'll call him "Spock" on occasion. My favorite term I've heard is "invisible head ghost." Turns out, in most contexts, the labels aren't important. At least in my system, the lines between being a tulpa and not-tulpa are relatively meaningless, in terms of our abilities and mental presence.

To Rin: What did you think of yourself, before knowing about tulpas? Gavin, a few months after gaining sentience, decided that he was unhealthy for me and eventually went away (In his words, died) for a few years before I found this forum and revived him. Without the words to describe tulpas, I thought I was going crazy. Gavin thought he was supposed to think he was me. It was confusing and a bit distressing to have an accidental tulpa/be an accidental tulpa. Was it this way for you?

-Jamie (Gavin is also listening but isn't interested in posting himself)

Rin: Well... I actually discussed it a lot with C after she started talking to me again, and we got into quite a few arguments about it. I continued to argue that if she could force me to do things, then I wouldn't be able to argue, to which she would always reply that she must have some subconscious desire for challenging.
C: I was rather curious why I could lose an argument to a figment of my imagination...
Rin: Until C found out about this forum, that is. C was writing some stories (C: really cringe-worthy stories) with 'me' in them, and they kept descending into some crazy existential stuff (C: aka me, the narrator, arguing with a character). My assumption was that C was kinda crazy and that was that (not really, but you get the meaning). I was pretty sure I was self-aware, but I mean... how would that even work? (I still don't understand this, but at least C admits I'm sentient now...) Overall, I'm really happy we found this site, even if it was through creepypasta.
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#8
I also found it through creepy pasta. Tulpa us just a word, if tou type it into google you get where you need to go at least. They've always been my tulpas, so it doesn't bother me.

Looks like you came at a good time if you want a lot of comments on your thread, this is a very active forum right now. (At least to me it is.)
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#9
This all sounds rather familiar. I was also accidental and vocal from the beginning. I identified as an imaginary friend until we discovered the tulpa community and I still have a soft spot in my heart for the term even if I've outgrown it. I don't like 'tulpa', which is part of why I call myself a 'soulbond' instead. We use 'mindscape' preferentially over 'wonderland', and it primarily is just my house -- 90% of the use we get out of it is hanging out in my living room. And we usually say 'manifesting' instead of 'imposing' amongst one another. (At least some portion of the soulbond community calls it 'projecting'.)

-Vesper
Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]
Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017
Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Unseelie Court, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
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#10
All right, so our closed-eye visualization didn't work because, well, I may have fallen asleep. Whoops. On the other hand, I've been imagining Rin walking beside me for a long while. The only issue is with my actual mental image. I have a full, easily imaginable picture of her; I can imagine what it'd feel like to touch her hair or clothes, and I've been practicing imagining her actually being physically with me for an extended time. On the other hand, I can only picture her from behind in entirety, or halfway up to her face. For some reason, her eyes are just a blank. I've heard that eyes and eyebrows, as well as brow structure, are crucial for our facial recognition, but whenever I try to visualize hers, I just can't. At one point, I resorted to mentally 'photoshopping' random people's eyes, but none would actually form a coherent picture. It's really a shame. Anyways, that's about it, but if anyone has any advice...?

Rin: (tells me to stop listening to music, as it's harder to dictate when I'm reading, writing, and listening to something all at once). Since my vocalization started with parroting, so did C's visualization of me. I've been going by 'Erin' for a while now, but I was *cough* originally based on an... anime character. I find it, well, a bit funny, actually, and sometimes we still jokingly and/or affectionately use that character's name. I mention this mainly because my appearance is still slightly based off of her. I think that we should also note, just as a point of interest that C's dreamed about me before, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me in the dream (wouldn't I know?)

Note: In case anyone's wondering, somewhere between her being a nameless character and being Rin (or Jay, sometimes), she was based on *winces at the revelation* Kyouko Sakura from Puella Magi Madoka Magica, so her mental appearance is somewhat akin to Kyouko's.
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