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A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures
KoejiSllycc Offline
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#1
 
A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Hello Hosts and Tulpas!

My name is Koeji, and I have decided that I will create a Tulpa Progress Report so that Ivory and I can progress better.

Plus, as the title says, I’m still a bit confused so I’ll need a little help when I’m stuck in a chivy.

TULPA PROFILE:
Name: Ivory
Personality: Kind, Caring, Fun, Supportive
Gender: Female

13/4/2019 Day 1 — I tried compiling all the good qualities of Ivory into an blue-like Flame. Dunno why I made a flame, instead of an orb, but it felt better that way. Anyways, then, I tried visualizing Ivory’s body.

Pale White, Emerald Hair, Grey Eyes, Thin.

At first, it was just a lifeless doll. She couldn’t do much other than moving and walking, just an ordinary thought-form. I was a bit confused as to why she was lifeless, but I figured, why not put the flame inside of her? And so I did just that.

Nothing special happened really. Just that I felt her becoming a bit more lifelike.

Tried narrating, imaging, parroting, active forcing, and passive forcing. And every time I did it, I felt like I was giving her another layer.

The only thing that made me think she was alive, was that indescribable feeling of love of some kind. Told her I loved her, and somehow, I think she was trying to tell me that she also loved me.

Dunno guys, please help me.
04-13-2019, 12:25 PM
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solarchariot Offline
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#2
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Hello, Koeji.

Welcome! It seems as if you're off to a good start. There is no wrong start. This is a process. Blue flame is perfectly acceptable initiation point. It doesn't have to be a circle or a box... or anything. You may ask if the candle or the color represents something. Blue candles, for example might have spiritual meaning if you are Wiccan. But this was blue flame, not candle. Symbols are not perfectly universal, so there are variances based on your personal filters. Sounds like you visualize well and your acclimate to your own inner preferences without too much angst that you're deviating from protocol. Do your practice, and keep revisiting the guides and following them sometimes verbatim, and then your own. Experimenting is okay; it won't stop it, theoretically could slow it, but doubtful.

It's nice to hear you had an experience. Sometimes when you focus on projecting feelings of love, it overflows and fills everything. So you may be experience feedback, or early response signs. I would recommend trying to just be aware, not interpreting. Practice. When I say practice, I am saying it in a bigger sense, like you're a doctor who has a practice, or you're an experienced meditator and you are engaging your practice... Especially so early on. I hope saying that doesn't diminish your enthusiasm. I like your enthusiasm. Slow, steady, consistent, repetition... you're building an opus, not a pop song. If it happens faster, it happens. If it takes longer to get the expected results, that is okay. This is not race. It's an experience, and a commitment to something bigger.
04-13-2019, 01:05 PM
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Angry Bear Online
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#3
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Tulpa creation process, page one, paragraph one.

"Just add love."

The rest of this guide is left intentionally blank. (Because it's perfect.)

Welcome to the forums.

[The Bear System] - [Chat] - [Visualization Practice] - [Draw] - [Art]
04-13-2019, 07:00 PM
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KoejiSllycc Offline
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#4
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Ypee, people actually responded!

14/4/2019 Day 2 — So I went to the Chinese Markets with my Dad. On the way there, I asked Ivory if she wanted to listen to some tunes. Me, not knowing whether or not I’m parroting her, heard that she said

“What are tunes?”
“Oh, you’ll love them.”

She likes to ask me about lots of things. And the answer to all of them, if it’s a hobby, I’ll always tell her “You’ll love them.”

Nyways, I figured out some things when I tuned in some musics. She doesn’t like loud rock music. Prefers soft, like Coldplay or Piano Music. But back number seems to be an exception.

How I know this, oddly, is that she sorta gives me these feelings. Been happening since day one actually. Like every time I give her a hug or when I tell her that I love her, it actually feels like she’s loving me back. Is that weird? I find it pretty cool.

When we sung songs (Especially back in the Day 1) with my guitar, I got this wheezy feeling. Cheesy, I know, but it just happened.

Ok, maybe it was because I was singing Love Songs, but I don’t know. You tell me.

*Listened to some Tulpatones for 1 hour. Didn’t feel like 1 hour though, what the hell?
04-15-2019, 01:16 AM
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Angry Bear Online
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#5
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Love is one of the stronger emotions for us too. It very well could be what we call emotional bleed. I've been getting the full spectrum from each of them. Anger is the strongest, then sadness, then joy or love, then pride, fear and contentment. You might feel all these from a tulpa, though sometimes they're very subtle.

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04-15-2019, 02:12 AM
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Someone Offline
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#6
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

We feel that love too from each other. It's a great feeling.

Someone System: Torea, Azure, Jade, Damien, Spark, N

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04-15-2019, 10:49 AM
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KoejiSllycc Offline
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#7
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Thanx @Angry Bear, @Solarchariot, and @Someone for replying!

16/4/2019 Day 3 — Ok, we didn’t get to do much today. However, ever since I played the Tulpatone, I can feel Ivory’s presence much easier.

It helps. Not much, but definitely a progress

After listening to some songs, I also figured out that she loves Coldplay. Like one of the phrases from a song, “For you, I’d bleed myself dry.”

It’s stuck in my head for some reason. And I couldn’t have remembered that phrase from the song, cause I was focused on doing something else. So it must be her.

It might sound creepy to all of you, but to me, it’s really sweet. Sorta. Naw, it’s 100% sweet.

Ivory’s Favorite Bands: Coldplay & back number

*Some other things that might mean something, I saw her drinking tea this morning when I woke up. I usually have to carry her all the way to our beach, but wow, I did not expect that.
04-16-2019, 01:02 AM
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Angry Bear Online
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#8
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Nice progress!

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04-16-2019, 01:28 PM
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KoejiSllycc Offline
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#9
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

Day 4 — It was just a normal day at school. I talked to my friends, did a lot of passive forcing as well, but all of a sudden, Ivory wanted to spend some time with me.

Like active forcing, she was asking for an active force.

We can communicate better now, and I can speak tulpish with her better than before. So while my friends were doing their own things, I carried Ivory over to the beach, and did a lot of activities with her.

We danced to coldplay, We walked around the beach, We sat down together and watched the stars. Lots of things. We even did an adventure to this Aztec Ruins, but it ended badly because of me.

—My intrusive thoughts, ugh.

She got pulled by one of my intrusive thoughts, and she fell down to a chasm. Didn’t realize she was missing till she couldn’t respond to me. I went down the chasm, and grabbed her up.

Fortunately, she was ok. I made her invincible to my intrusive thoughts a couple of days ago.

Thank God I did just that.

*Also, we got into a fight because I told her she wasn’t the only girl that I loved (the only person that I love). We resolved it, but I want to tell her that I also love someone else.

Tips?
04-17-2019, 05:47 AM
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Dashie Bear Offline
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#10
 
RE: A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures

If it was me, I'd want Bear to just say it, no frills or flowery explanation, I'd just want it straight. Then I'd want to know how that affected us. We're not in an exclusive romantic relationship or anything, but we do have expectations, and we have agreements, so for us st least, we'd just have to find a way to deal with it, come to an agreement and move on. She should understand that love is pretty powerful and not necessarily something that will alone can stop.

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04-17-2019, 06:53 PM
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