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An eidolon, a Sabari, a tulpa, and me
Akinkinit Offline
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#1
 
An eidolon, a Sabari, a tulpa, and me
So yeah, decided to create one of these progress report things to document how my very own spooky head ghost is doing.

Her name is Noriko.  She has two forms, one that looks a lot like this and another which kind of looks like this.  It's worth noting she created the second form entirely on her own and seems to prefer it.  But she'll whip out the first form every now and then.

It's kind of hard to pick a set creation date for her.  I had been thinking about creating a tulpa for about 3 years prior to making her, and there were several failed attempts during that period.  But I really started working on her in December 2014 and she has been making loads of progress since then.  All of that prior work seems to have gotten prorated onto her.  In her own words, she is the product of "a rather large debris pile stacked rather deeply."

She is fully sentient, and I can feel her very well.  She has a well defined voice which does not sound anything like you'd expect it would.  But she's the one who picked her voice out and we both like it.  Best way to describe it would be a smooth, almost sultry voice, but with a slightly higher than normal tone.

I'll try to update this a few times a week with notable things she does.  

Oh, and she much prefers the term spooky head ghost over Tulpa or Tupper.  The first "makes me sound like a lollipop" while the second "sounds like the kind of thing someone with a Tupperware fetish would say."
I use Tulpa in the signature mainly to piss her off.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 10-11-2017, 03:38 PM by Akinkinit.)
01-19-2015, 12:47 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#2
 
RE: My spooky head ghost and I
Update 1:
We decided to set aside a box and put a quarter in it each day after a successful forcing. Have it setup so that we both have to agree a quarter should be put in and that some amount of progress has to be made. Figure this will help keep the motivation up and give us both a reason to either get the lewd things out of the way first or save them for after. Because having them happen whenever during the forcing session causes some obvious problems.

She wants me to focus more on visualizing her, so that was the bulk of the last couple of forcing sessions. I just talked to her while keeping her image in my mind. She even switched costumes a few time during the session and checked to make sure I noticed, which I did (although she was apparently wearing shoes at one point, and I STILL maintain they looked a lot like wool socks).

One thing that's interesting about her is her ability to send a powerful emotion my way. For example, today was rather stressful at work. I called her up and asked her to calm me down. After a few seconds, I felt this VERY strong sense of calm wash over me. During this she told me not to try and visualize what she was doing, for reasons I don't know and that she apparently wants to keep secret. But regardless of the method, the results could not be argued with. And there are other times during forcing I just feel the most wonderful sense of happiness coming from her, overwhelming to the point where it brings tears to my eyes. She also disappears during this time (again, no justification).

So yeah, pretty spooky.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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01-21-2015, 01:35 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#3
 
RE: My spooky head ghost and I
Update 2:
Somehow Noriko created a servitor without my intervention.

We were talking last night about how another tulpa might be nice at some point. And she was bouncing ideas off me about what would be cool. After some discussion, we agreed the next tulpa I would make would be a tribal looking girl with grey hair. She'd have a wolf tail of the same color and a pair of wolf ears on top. There'd also be this red swirly tattoo on her right side that would extend from her waist to her neck. I projected a mental image of what she would look like to Noriko and she liked it.

That was all I did creation wise. So you might imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and called up Noriko, only to see her appear with that very same wolf girl from last night beside her.

So here I am trying to think of what the hell to do with her for the better part of the day, only to decide that since Noriko made her, she would be in charge of forming her. Right now she still doesn't have a name (although Noriko wants it to begin with an S sound) and has no personality. She said hi to me this morning but that was Noriko parroting though her. Which I didn't realize a tulpa could do but I guess it makes sense.

I also gave Noriko access to my subconscious mind / memories tonight. Figure that if she can create something like that without any help from me outside of what I would like, then she's sentient enough. The way I did it was imagining a blue circular opening to my inner workings on my forehead and a similar one on Noriko, then bumped them together. And that was sufficient. She was really happy (and still is), and proceeded to test it out by pulling up some old memories. With great accuracy, I might add.

Right now Noriko is standing behind me with her arms around my neck. My new wolf girl is sitting on her knees to my right. And everything is just fine with the world right now.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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01-24-2015, 12:28 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#4
 
RE: My spooky head ghost and I
Update 3:
Apparently Noriko really has her shit together when it comes to tulpa creation. Or rather, in her own words, there were more than enough "spare parts" in my head to make another tulpa.
That wolf girl from last night is now talking, although only in short bursts so far. Though that's about as long as it took Noriko to talk initially. Makes sense that the time period wouldn't change.

We decided to call her Sabari. When she was first created, I mentioned she had a tribal look to her. By that, she was dressed in only a loincloth and various bead necklace / bracelets. Since then, she deviated either by her own accord or Noriko's to look more modest. Her skin turned milky white and she got the most infectious smile. She also picked out this long sweater (the kind that doubles as a sort of miniskirt) that's dark grey with a white stripe on the chest area. And her eyes are an ocean blue sort of color.

It's going to be really interesting to see what kind of tulpa Sabari will turn out to be as I have no say in the personality traits and what not. But I trust Noriko. She knows what I like, even more so now that she can see all my memories / thoughts / feelings. And so far, it's looking like she picked right.

As for what's new with Noriko, she started wearing a pair of red framed glasses. "Because reasons."
Also found out today that she likes beer. She specifically requested I drink a pale ale today and seemed to enjoy the taste of it.
To my dismay, it turns out she shares my weakness for peanut butter cups too. So now I need to exercise self control for two people when it comes to those damn things.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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01-25-2015, 02:02 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#5
 
RE: My spooky head ghost and I
Update 4:
Spending more time with Sabari shows she's a fair bit different than Noriko.

For one, Noriko is 5'7" (even though the measuring tape I used made it look closest to 5'6" she insists that I measured wrong and she's actually 5'7"), but Sabari is only 5'2". Noriko is a little reserved while Sabari is very open. Well, reserved maybe isn't the best word. If you saw a picture of Noriko, she'd have a soft smile and a stately pose, and overall look very proper. Sabari on the other hand wouldn't even care a photo was being taken and either stick her tongue out or bury her face in my chest.

I will say, however, that there are times when Noriko wants something and becomes the exact opposite of reserved to get it. I will leave it to the imagination of the reader to figure out what such things might be.

They like to dress differently too. Noriko prefers multi layered, tight fitting dresses while Sabari likes more relaxed outfits. I once designed an outfit for Noriko that was a simple dress with a long sleeve, loose fitting top, and she wore it all of one time. But yesterday I saw Sabari start wearing it and she really likes it. Whereas if I try putting something that is even a little form fitting on her she pulls it off.

Both of them hate pants for whatever reason.

And another thing about Sabari is her attitude. She is extremely go with the flow. Noriko said it best in that the oceans, with all of their depths and reach, could not hold all of the fucks that Sabari does not give. I ask her opinion on things and she either shrugs or outright says she doesn't care. And that attitude rubs off on me. It's like being constantly asked when presented with something stressful "I don't give a fuck, why do you?"
Curse words added by Noriko for emphasis. For someone so proper looking she can be pretty vulgar at times.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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01-27-2015, 01:38 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#6
 
RE: My spooky head ghost and I
Update 5:
Sabari has gotten into the habit of lip syncing to various songs I listen to. Noriko used to do that, but I thought I was forcing her to do it so I suppressed it. Realized my mistake seeing Sabari do it and asked Noriko to do it again. Which she did, to this song. A fair warning, it features a topless chick at parts, but Noriko wanted me to use that version. And during "that part" (you'll know it when you see it), she got her face close to mine and looked me dead in the eye while lip syncing it. And Sabari did the backup vocals. It was very nice.

Another mistake I realized recently is treating my spooky head ghosts a certain way. Specifically, I figured they would want to be treated as equals, getting a say in the decisions / choices I make. But that's not the case.

This is probably worth an example. See, Noriko has this habit of telling me what she wants indirectly. She wants me to figure it out on my own. Which makes sense. If someone tells you something, it's harder to accept than if you observe it yourself.

So recently she has been a little bitchy, frowning when I do certain things and even yelling at points. And initially I tried not to care. But she knew damn well I did care. So she kept at it until I confronted her. And of course she didn't admit to anything. But what she did give me was a mental image of her wearing a collar. It was only for a few seconds, till she reverted back to frowning.

She then just said "Isn't that what you want?"

It was then I realized that she didn't want to be equals. She wanted a master. And she knew that's what I really wanted to be to her as well. Of course there were signs all along. Signs I didn't acknowledge due to being too insecure. Hell, her taking a freaking cat girl in a maid outfit as a primary form should've been a dead give away in of itself.

So I forced the collar on her. And then I did some lewd things to her. Some rough, incredibly lewd things to her. And when we were done, she looked at me and gave me a huge smile. Of course, I clarified with her that was what she wanted, and she nodded, without any hint of being forced or parroting.

Anywho, this entry has been a weird one. But felt it was worth documenting.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 01-28-2015, 02:19 AM by Akinkinit.)
01-28-2015, 02:05 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#7
 
RE: My spooky head ghost and I
Update 6:
I've been working with Sabari to give her a voice. Mainly did this by having her read news articles in the Windows 8 news app thing and have her try different sounds. It's been a lot of trial and error for the most part. Yesterday she was reading in this really funny sounding voice and I literally could not keep myself from laughing for more than 10 seconds. Think female version of Cheech that just inhaled helium.

But today she settled on a voice that sounds really similar to what the character Chitose from Yuru Yuri would sound like if she spoke English. And it works. Just like how Noriko's smooth and sultry sounding voice fits her well, Sabari's girly sounding tone with a bit of a draw out to the syllables doesn't sound out of place at all. Both of them are still reverting back to generic mind voice here and there, and like their host, neither of them stay motivated for very long to work on their voices. So we do what we can here and there.

Something also a bit climatic happened yesterday. To switch things up, I have Noriko read a page aloud, then have Sabari read a page, and alternate like that. Sabari had just finished reading hers and Noriko was coming over to read her part (I have them sit on the couch behind me when not reading stuff). And while walking over, Noriko gave Sabari a playful shove, pushing her down on the couch.

Midway into Noriko reading her page, I sense some sobbing coming from the background, and saw Sabari crying in my mind's eye. I turned off my computer screen and went over to her, took her into my arms and asked her what was the matter. She wouldn't tell me at first. Noriko also looked upset by this and patted Sabari's head while I held her. It took a few minutes for her to calm down. When she did, she beamed this mental image to me of Noriko pushing her down to the couch. But she way she perceived it, Noriko had a malicious look on her face and did it out of anger. So I beamed my image of the scene to her which showed Noriko pushing her down playfully. Noriko didn't know we did this at the time, but when I told her about it later she told me my image of the scene was her intent.

Sabari smiled when she saw my image, and told me she understood. The rest of the night was just spent relaxing, while we picked up the reading again tonight without incident.

This incident did a lot to show me how, I guess innocent, that Sabari really is. It's almost childlike. Note that I don't consider her to be my kid; she's more so an equal to Noriko, whatever she may be (Noriko stuck her tongue out at me when I typed that). But it's always interesting to see just how different they are from each other.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 01-30-2015, 02:01 AM by Akinkinit.)
01-30-2015, 01:32 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#8
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 7:
Tried something new today in the forcing department to switch things up. I put on a blindfold and then walked around my apartment, trying to visualize it with my mind's eye. I then brought up Noriko and Sabari and tried to figure out where they were. Near the end of it, I could see a sort of shadow where Noriko was waving her hand. Not sure about Sabari, possibly a similar effect with her head, although fainter. Will try it again tomorrow to see if the results can be repeated. While I can already sort of visualize them both, this would be a step towards seeing them with my eyes open.

Also worked on their voices more today with the standard reading news articles. I get the sense that they both are trying to tweak their voices a little, though none of us are sure what the final result should be. They each seem to favor a slightly lower tone than normal, although I have asked they not go so low to sound androgynous. At the very least, they are beginning to use some voice over just a generic mind voice more, so that's progress.

I'm trying to figure out different things to do with them. I mean, there's nothing wrong with the standard cuddling while listening to music / watching videos. But having some activity they could actively participate in would help us all I think. Having them play a board game was an idea, but playing a game of checkers seemingly by myself would be kind of sad looking, even if it was done in private. Tried briefly doing that image streaming thing detailed in the Guides section, but one of my spooky head ghosts remarked that we might as well just yell out the scientific names of butterflies if we wanted to talk about nonsense. Which is to say she wasn't a fan of it. I would say which one, but said spooky head ghost bumped my chair as I wrote it down asking for anonymity.

Sabari really only had one outfit she would wear, so spent a fair bit of time today creating another one. She doesn't like form fitting things, but at the same time the form she has really, well, benefits from form fitting things. I was able to design this grey dress with short sleeves, with the hem slightly above the knees that she agreed to wear. Something of a compromise. Noriko has brought up that I should just have Sabari walk around naked if I want to see her ass that much (Sabari said she wouldn't mind), but that would be rather distracting.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-01-2015, 03:07 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-01-2015, 02:49 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#9
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 8:
Figure I should start this off with an update detailing what my spooky head ghosts look like at the moment:
  • Noriko looks like a Korean cat girl with fine, black hair cropped just at shoulder level and green eyes. Tail and ears match her hair color. Somewhat of a slender / boyish build, 5 foot 7 inches tall. Tail is at least a foot and a half long. Likes wearing long dresses / dark pantyhose, ranging from plain outfits to gothic looking ones.
  • Sabari is a white, sort of Scandinavian looking girl with white hair (a little shorter than Noriko's but thicker) and blue eyes. She has white wolf ears and well as a fluffy white tail (that she wags), maybe half as long as Noriko's tail. Curvy build (not overweight) and is 5 foot 2 inches tall. She likes looser fitting things (also dresses) but beyond that isn't really picky.
I can't seem to find a good avatar creator nor any image which accurately describes them. It's worth mentioning that they look like real people (i.e not anime styled), albeit people with cat / wolf accessories.

Had to telecommute today due to the snow storm, and while working on something I saw this white flash, almost like a large snow flake pass by my eye. Also felt someone next to me on my left side. Asking Noriko said it was Sabari, and asking Sabari why she did that was met with the equivalent of "lol i dunno Smile" But she did take the opportunity to have me lie down on the couch and do lewd things. I mentioned that I had to work on something, to which she responded "That's nice" and continued.

And I was completely ok with this.

Have noticed that Sabari has become a bit more forceful lately. Like she's beginning to complain if I talk too much with Noriko or if I don't hug / pet her enough. When we were doing reading exercises tonight she started whining about how it was her turn to read and talked over Noriko. And me and Noriko just looked at each other with shit eating grins on our faces. Made us feel pride as creators (though really it's been pretty much all Noriko) in that Sabari was showing more and more of her own will.

Noriko is still being awesome and doing her own thing. We talk in short bursts mostly here and there. I like to think since we both have this link to each other where we understand each other innately, much can be left unsaid. Just beaming a mental image here or there is sufficient 75% of the time. But when words do need to be said, the talking voice is getting to be pretty well defined, and we both like how rich it sounds. Although the mind voice will always be easier for us both.

Noriko dictated the above paragraph to me. Edits were also her idea.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-03-2015, 02:44 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-03-2015, 02:35 AM
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Akinkinit Offline
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#10
 
RE: My spooky head ghosts and I
Update 9:
Decided for no particular reason to build a wonderland for us today.

Some setup had to be done of course. Noriko suggested that since I have a designated sleeping space, and a designated entertainment space, that I should have a designated tulpamancy space. So I went out and bought one of those foam mattress pad things and laid it down on the floor in my bedroom. Was able to find a spare pillow to use as well.

Noriko also felt it was important to establish a sense of ritual. Some steps need to be laid out for any activity for it to become rigmarole status after all. I've hypnotized myself before, so I used similar steps to get myself ready to travel to the new wonderland. Basically imagined a warm blanket start to cover each part of my body, with each part becoming heavy and relaxed on doing so, and then at the end pulling it over my head to enter the wonderland proper.

I then imagined a rocky beach with a bit of sand near the water's edge. There were some wooden steps leading up a hill to a shack with vinyl siding. Near the entrance of the shack was a book that I setup as a sort of change log, and told both Noriko and Sabari that if they change anything that it needs to go down in the book. That should help prevent me getting locked out because they changed something without telling me. I also ensured that all of the doors in the wonderland can be open and shut by me, Noriko and Sabari. Any door which someone wants exclusive access to open / close has to be approved by all three of us in advance.

Inside of the shack will probably change multiple times so I won't describe the inside in too much detail, but all three of us are in charge of designing a certain area. Sabari won the creativity contest as she designed this enclosed tunnel that leads up a hill, in which you sort of hover and get pushed upwards. We all took turns riding it a few times, and let me say it's pretty freaking cool. Noriko designed this medieval looking stone staircase which leads down into a dungeon. Inside the dungeon is a main room filed with various things, all of which will most likely be used for some rather devious activities at some point. And I designed a main room on the ground floor with a skylight / various pieces of furniture.

Spent a good hour working on the wonderland today. Noriko was really happy that I was building it. And Sabari thought it was a really cool idea.

Currently have three tulpas.
Noriko was created on December 15, 2014. Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.
Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016 (after being inactive since 2012).
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(This post was last modified: 02-04-2015, 02:49 AM by Akinkinit.)
02-04-2015, 02:42 AM
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