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Animus and Lily. A Change of Pace.


Animus

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Introduction

Hello this is Animus, known as Dr.Medic but since the last time I posted was nearly a year ago I believe it's time to start fresh. I found out about Tulpa around two years ago, I was searching /mlp/ and decided to peek into a little thread. That thread was the start of a somewhat magical adventure full of sass and belittlement. But that's for later.

 

After two years I have myself a little bundle of joy named Lily. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from this tulpa journey. Maybe a little imaginary pal, or something to help me with school work. That school work part was the main reason I even started Tulpa and I'll be honest it never really worked out. I'll go over my progress though things, what I had planned Lily to be and what she became over a series of two years. It's amazing that it's been two years already, nevertheless, I will try to explain myself and my adventures. Let's just get a bit of background info out of the way.

 

I started tulpaforcing seriously about May of 2012. This was around the time I learned of MLP and 4chan at the same time, it was an awfully scary combo. I decided on the name Lily after an interesting forcing session with a plant that began as a flower but slowly turned into an eyeball. I'll come back to this later. Her first words were hello as well as screaming very loudly when I was concentrating. She's fully "sentient", as much as one can be anyways, vocal, and not imposed on the world yet. I've been hesitant to do this since an incident with baking... Not entirely sure if I trust her with it.

 

I am going to organize this into chapters per say, you will be able to see everything I did and I'm sure it will be an adventure for you.


Chapter 1: How I did it

 

Everyone starts out somewhere, when I began tulpaforcing it was in its prime, I found a few guides to follow and from what I've been seeing now that's kinda frowned upon to use them. It's fine though I'm not sure you can go wrong with this anyways. I began by putting on my fedora and attempting to make a Fluttershy tulpa. Nothing worked. She wasn't mine, her personality made no sense from what I wanted. It just didn't work. But I searched around and I found a few references and ideas and constructed what would soon be Lily.

 

After I had an okay image of what I wanted her to be I went down and wrote a guide of what I wanted her personality to be. I wrote down her quirks, her likes and dislikes, it wasn't unlike writing a character out for a story. I drew her a few times, terribly might I add. I used to give sonic fan characters a hard time until I tried drawing something unique by myself. But over time I drew better and practiced until I actually got pretty good at doing art. I had her shape down solid and a list of traits I wanted her to have, that's when I started forcing.

 

Forcing by itself was very hard. It was very difficult to just sit down for two hours every day and attempt to meditate. It would be fine for 15 minutes then I would get bored and focus on random things. Guides said to focus and take breaks when needed, I would end up taking a break and then forget about it. Meditation, like what I was supposed to do was not what I could do. So after a while I found much much better ways of meditation that helped me.

 

Let's get into the idea of dreamscapes, creating an entire world in your mind. I sat down for days and constructed a city in my head, a railway track, and a field. It was fairly simple at first. The city was crumbling, the railway was abandoned and the field was barren. It seemed pretty fine. What I would do is almost imprint myself into this areas, I would walk around and when I was satisfied I brought Lily into the dreamscape. She didn't do anything, not talk, not blink or breathe, all she was a limp ragdoll. I could make her dance and talk in funny voices but that was it.

 

So in my world I wandered. I would carry her on my back and talk to her, explaining any words I could think of. I treated her like a baby and read to her when I had the chance. We first learned how to read and talk by having our parents talk to us, I figured I would just treat my brain child like an actual child. I would paint in the canvas of my mind skies, rivers and lakes. Trying to show her what the real world was like. And I think this is what really got me. I treated her as if she was real... most of the time. Sometimes a top hat and dancing was in order to calm down and that was pretty fun.

 

We did this for a while, wandering and learning, but then I made a bit of an adventure. I told stories of battles in the city, showing why it was destroyed and fought monsters of the past with her. She wasn't sentient yet but I was having a blast with her and that's when she started reacting to me. It was amazing.


Chapter 2: Adventures and First Words

 

I dipped into the adventure part a little bit just to show my methods, but I think it's fairly clear now, if not hey just say so and I'll rewrite it. These adventures were nice. We still did practicing with words, and I read her the personality traits I wanted her to have, but from talking to her and imagining her responses to battles and conversations I really had a good idea of who she would be. And this is where the really cool parts happened!

 

When she had her first reaction by herself it was a huge breakthrough, a little smile while doing that feather balance thing with the triangle and feather, was the reward I got. She was just watching it and smiling at it, then me. Something had clicked with her. This isn't to say that forcing ended there. It was a long time, weeks, before I saw any more progress but it was there. Her vocal progress was something that really amazed me. I was sitting at my desk just playing a video game and I heard this loud, almost screaming voiced "HELLO"!! I looked around to where I thought I heard it coming from and it kinda hit me. I meditated soon after and went to see her. She was just sitting there with this little smirk I would see time and time again.

 

A few months passed, some days had a bit of forcing, some didn't. But she grew a bit more vocal. She would spout random words out and most of the time just talk gibberish. Eventually she learned phrases, and the most common one... like ever.. was "What does X mean?" She asked this for everything. "What does apple mean? What does bird mean? What does red mean?" That kind of thing. And I told her and she nodded and thought for a bit. She learned so quickly and we quickly moved on from baby-steps to the leaps of giants.


Chapter 3: Advanced tupperware

 

Once she learned how to ask we would meditate together. It sounds entirely too meta. I would meditate and "go inside" of my own mind to meet her. There we would talk, she was still only saying simple phrases and was often still speaking nonsense. But we would meditate together in silence. She was doing something in her mind thing... I'm not entirely sure what. But after these sessions she would talk a bit more clearly. Again, repetition, we did this for months. And eventually she spoke in complete sentences.

 

I must go for now but I'll finish this big ol' thing. Quite a few chapters left.

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