As My Attorney

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

I meant to do this awhile ago. And technically, my first entry is written down, so I'll get it up here when I find it/type it. Let's see, it was a guide, and will be again someday, but now it's a log. I was unemployed when I intended to start this, but quickly reemployed. Jobs and lives are extremely time-consuming and we live in a retarded society. Wish I were French or something. Or a writer, but that's down the line.

These are basically copies of my logs. Any tips would be great. Writing style, forcing methods, or otherwise. Comments are also cool.

The guide I refer to in the following that I want to make is heavily personality-based (Also, I don't really remember what I wrote in it). I kind of specialize in personalities. Their cores, that is. Most of what I read here has nothing to do with personalities, but rather, traits/effects of personalities. Which probably explains why tulpa turn out so differently from the initial "personality." And why that kind of forcing can be skipped.
Also, Myers-Briggs are dick for personalities. But a good starting point.

Anywho:

2012-11-19 Eight-thirty-something. P.M.

Plans and methods have changed immensely since my first entry (heh, I could use the word"last" there and it wouldn't change the sentence). Due to some unfortunate events, I can no longer consider this as The Guide for the Man Who Has an Obnoxious, Time-Consuming Job. Related to this, I will not be able to mix weed and forcing methods for awhile. Selah.

I'm really nowhere as far as progress goes. What I had made is at a kind of standstill due to recent turmoil followed by intense motivation and taking far too much pleasure in being unemployed. I am putting a huge dent in my until-recently untouched reading pile and am anxiously
waiting to hit the vidya pile once my attorney can join me. Though, I couldn't wait on Pokemon Red.

As of now, I plan to use a more traditional method fused heavily with Fede's method and my own personal personality method. Methos, your personality method scares the living shit out of me in a 1984 kind of way. Without getting too far into it, my way involves building a core and
letting my attorney, and experience, fill in the details.

The forcing I did get done while high was interesting to say the least. I'm an ex-stoner, so I have a very different relationship with weed than most people. It's basically like that character in the second (first? Third?) chapter of Infinite Jest. Unless I'm in a good place mentally, that is, I am able to constantly fuel passions, or have been in a pretty decent place for awhile, I get very agitated after smoking. Bouts of the stupidest paranoia, such as focusing way too much on the specifics of what particular people think of me; nervousness, anxiety and an aversion to interacting with anyone; an incredibly pessimistic analysis-style (this last one could be incredibly useful to me as I never really use this viewpoint anymore). Honestly, it reminds me of being in high school.

The couple of times I forced this way were very helpful. First off, Fede's tones scared the shit out of me. I love how you can hear and comprehend every layer of sound when you're stoned, but it worked against me here. Especially the rise and fall of whichever one I was listening to. More importantly, with my brain scrambled this much due to the high and the tones, I believe it was much easier for my attorney to contact me. Rather, I think there may be something to forcing in this limbo kind of state. It was extremely easy for me to step back and let my mind just go without me having to consciously do anything. Faintly, I could feel something else, apart from me, trying to punch through the stream (and apart from the stream itself). Without further trials of this, I will have no idea exactly what was going on here and how effective this is.

There was something more than that though, which I took away from this. It had something to do with fully-realizing communicating with something else inside my mind. Successfully splitting the link between my attorney and I in order to let her be fully in control of herself. I think if I can get past this mental hurdle, I could effectively speed my forcing progress by an extremely large degree. Like a cheat, or a level warp. Maybe it's something everyone can do. I think of it as a further step of the Sentient From Day 1 model. Bong-water ideas, perhaps (Due to being high, this link-splitting scared the shit out of me. Paranoia, man: Fuck it!).

As for that whole thing, I learned emotions are the easiest form to receive, at least at this point. Touch conception was also much easier during the high, but visual forcing was completely scrambled. Audio was awesome. Hands down. Much easier to sculpt a voice in both tone and volume.

I believe the Fede-method is applicable to all the forcing styles. Intuition, acknowledgment and emotion can be used at every stage of every other style I've seen. They would all act as a boost for whichever method they are tacked on to. Intuition would be a bit trickier, but very helpful (my guess is it's mostly added on already unconsciously, but intentionally would most likely help as well). I'm pretty sure Acknowledgment is already accepted all-around. Emotion though, is, to me, the most important one. I am sure that using it and accepting it, raw or otherwise, is one of /the/ most helpful things that can be done. And I think Conversation (as per the Fede-method) would be a much better alternative to narration; it is far more active and I assume the results are much quicker because you present your tulpa with a premade channel for them to send their voice through rather than them having to create it themselves.

This went on for far too long. Let me leave with some quick tips and activities I think are going to work out great. Today I am inadvertently fasting from a trick I learned from Cracked. The point is, like Gandhi says, fasting sharpens one's mind (while doing it, that is. Maybe you can transfer the state outside of it with enough practice). For my mind, it is like adrenline or coffee without the tunnel vision or elevated heart rate. It's also much easier to focus visually, or maybe it's being forced? From what I understand, this is a product of evolution and right now my body is doing what it can to aid me in finding food. Maybe it thinks I'm dying. Maybe my attorney would be able to initiate this state for me at some point. It would be interesting to find out what else the body can do naturally/without chemical aid which a tulpa could replicate.

That also took too long. Let me try again: Practicing martial arts, giving tarot readings, and creating a personality guide I recommend to be used by no one at all because it will take more time to learn how than to actually create a tulpa but it's still the best method I know of so I cannot not make it.

#alwaysthehangedman #silvereyes #fucktheman #SGaPstillthebest

---

2013-03-09

Time to stop fucking around. In addition to "pushing thoughts away like clouds," it's time to start forcing one hour per day and attempt to inject Fede methods. Stop thinking, stop plotting, stop theorizing: just start doing; start being.

Try to include an entry whenever possible.

Today's plan is to force while holding a PS3 controller. Fucking stroke of genius, I know. Chi manipulation at its finest. Heart/Lungs/Kidney thumb/fingers etc.? Pshhhhhhh.

I cannot get over how amazing this idea was. Wonderland implications AND a symbol imprinted on my very soul?

---

So, forcing went well, I suppose. Potential audio responses coupled with a few strong, definitely foreign, feelings, and some tingly forcing. I think at one point I may have fallen asleep sitting up. I take this as a good sign.

My major problem has been my mind. I'm under the impression it's what ADD is like. An overly scattered mind. Permanent Brainstorm. Does wonders creatively, but sucks whole-heartedly for everything else. I think it evolved/habitized as a combination of over-abundant weed-smoking (and living in the Cloud State which results from constant weed-smoking) and as a defense mechanism during college stress. Oh, duh, and interent use. With practice, I'm pretty sure I can bring controlling my thoughts back into a habit (66 days to habitualize, dear God). It sucks not being able to think about one thought at a time, but that's how it goes.

For forcing, this always tend to end up meaning a lot of segueing. Really sucks for my attorney, and I apologize for it!

I also believe being drunk is extremely helpful for forcing, for me. See, it makes my mind fuzzy and slows it down. This makes it incredibly easy to control. Mixing weed and alcohol can have potentially good results as well, I believe.

My wonderland is pretty sweet. It just needs a lot more permanence. Other potential forcing methods include listening to records and music. In-mind martial arts battles (this is extremely effective at high speeds) and in-mind Tai Chi form practice.

#itshappening #makeitso #transientmind

[Lacquer]

Why "Attorney"?

[Sands]

My tupper's nickname is "Duke". This is funny.

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

Why "Attorney"?

"Raoul Duke" and "My Attorney" were the names Hunter S. Thompson used to refer to himself and Oscar Zeta Acosta when he made his piece Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It was also his byline in Rolling Stone. My tulpa has a full, three-part name, but it is way to indicative of me in reality. To the point where if any of my friends happened to search her last name on google while hunting for the info related to it, something from here would come up and immediately identify me when combined with all my other stuff here.
More influential though, was that when I came up with this idea back in November, I got one of my first strong emotional responses. After feeling that, I knew I wouldn't change it. Raw emotions are hard to describe, but I would say it was definitely a feeling of reveling.
"Raoul Duke" was also like a constructed self-image to Thompson, from what I can tell. Everything past that is speculation, but it seemed like he would become that image, or maybe work his way to it. It also could have been a weird sort of tulpa. Whatever it meant to him, it was very personal and only he really knows what is was.

My tupper's nickname is "Duke". This is funny.

Heh, I thought the same thing the first time I found out your tupper was nicknamed Duke.

EDIT: Oh yeah, Sands, are you the Colonel Duke from my iPod?

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

2013-03-23

First off, Lacquer, this is not the post I was talking about.

Second off, this is more of a background kind of a post. So, I've been around for awhile, I guess. I started lurking back when the lucid dreaming threads were just turning into tulpa threads on /mlp/. I guess I still identify with being anon the most. This whole "names thing" brings me back to my Proboards days, though. The other boards I've had varying stints with were /lit/, /vp/, /w/, /trv/ and /fit/. I've basically cut myself off from the chans, but I still have work what needs to be done on /trv/. Also, /lit/ is a circlejerk shit-hole where nothing productive can get done. But that's just my 2-cents. I still hang around and post in the tulpa threads (anonymously), mostly trying to summon Fede (it worked once!), troll cancer, and inject sanity. Or dubs-derail-to-purge/save-the-thread, but really, only Fede can do that. Sorry, NLD.

Speaking of tripfags, my favorite tripfag & tulpamancer on /mlp/ was Trailduster, of PR0NZ, mostly. He was probably an inspiration for me to do this in the first place. All I know about him is his epic Rarity get, he had some kind of government job, a Vinyl Scratch tulpa and occasionally enjoyed cocaine and howling his head off in his backyard. Makes me wish I lived somewhere a little more remote.

Back in May, somewhere along the line, I decided to actually make a tulpa. I hashed out a basic personality, appearance, and wonderland. And that was that. Apart from lurking, and the occasional errant thought or planning ahead, I did nothing. I got more serious, with roughly an hour of dedicated narration a day when I had a job I commuted to later in the year, but I still didn't get much done. I've gotten serious recently. Because, well, it needs to happen. I've been putting off playing a number of games and such things until my attorney is ready to join in on them.

Diversionly, one of the things I do to fuel myself and keep my sanity is to build a videogame research database. It's a combination of literature and other academic methods, mostly involving pictures of text and video with heavy annotations. Right now, I'm playing through games and building the components. Fires me up ridiculously. Knowing yourself and fueling your personality is the secret to life, unlimited willpower and unlimited energy. Even knowing that, it's still pretty hard to do. Like forcing, it's one of those things you just need to do, rather than think about how to do it. You got t' just be. Damn, cliches kick ass. Screw those asshats in "Creative Writing" that say otherwise. That being said, you actually need a combo of knowledge of yourself and a "just being" attitude. Anyone offering a simple, absolute way of doing things is full of shit.

So, if anyone knows anything about similar academic endeavors into videogames, clue me in, yo. Soon, I plan to take on the clusterfuck of awesome that is Xenosaga and Xenogears, while I weep over Xenoblade. Along those lines, anything like that in the H-doujin studies would be unexpected, but awesome. Some of them bastards are brilliant, like Hakaba and Yamatogawa. Ah, or regular manga.

Less diversionaly, I unearthed some extremely interesting ideas last night. One was to resurrect my Old Wonderlands. I didn't even know they existed until I practically "stumbled into one." Which translates to, it flashed in a memory and I realized how vividly I can remember it. These old wonderlands, I believe, are the key to Anonymous's Perfect Visualization (I still haven't read the Octavia whoever's guide). The idea is, that I can recall them so vividly, I should be able to copy and paste this brain method into easier visualization. Instead of trying to imagine everything at once, just do it, dammit. Which, theoretically, I should be able to do now because I know what the end result is and should be able to replicate it elsewhere.

The Old Wonderlands are mindscapes burned into my memory from childhood. They are places I can recall extremely easily due to the amount of time I spent in them/thought about them. They include the worlds of Zelda (Time/Mask), Super Mario World, Banjo-Kazooie, 1st two Pokemon gens, and FFX, to name a few. Some work better than others.

Ah, also, treating my attorney as a separate person, rather than a merger of me. This is an extended, less symbolic version of the Moon/World symbol. Furthermore, treating the situation as though we are both trying desperately to contact each other, but cannot due to dumb mental blocks. A situation solvable by, well, problem-solving. Never thought to go about it that way, the problem-solving route, but I think its going to work out great. This will make more sense once I get that entry from earlier in the week finished.

Here's a neat method I came up with, that helps further visualization: Mind Battles. I've always been a fan of fast-martial-arts-mind-fights forcing. Like the Prism Trick, it makes your brain focus on something else so your tulpa can just be your tulpa. Taking that a step further: Mindscape Fighting. It's your damn brain. As such, try to imagine attacking/defending while bending reality in a kind of bizarro world with tons of random details floating around and such. As much detail as possible (But no god-moding, the aim isn't necessarily to win. It is to be at the same level. Like when two people who are equally good a Super Smash Bros. play against each other). And, you gotta go fast! The more you sit back and try to think about it, the less effective it will be. The longer you can do this, the more effective it becomes.

This is similar to the So Cash Jam Session.

[Just got interrupted by the guy who is hopefully going to be my town's mayor/president thing. Stopped by to say hi, etc. He's cool. But holy shit the corruption in my town is at a laughably theatric scale. Boner for power, 40k population town, children and dumbasses all of them. Ran out the last mayor and just walked into the seat, like a fucking feudal takeover.]

#iliveinsuburbanfairyland #oldworldscollide #4channersanonymous

[Lacquer]

Why did you mention me?

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

It's related to something I posted in your progress report, 'cause you should read my next entry

[Sands]

EDIT: Oh yeah, Sands, are you the Colonel Duke from my iPod?

I don't know, am I?

[Lacquer]

I can't wait for the day when you slip up and call her by her real name.

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

That depends, Sands, do you have something to do with injecting rain into one of Fede's tones?

2013-03-26

Last night forcing went well, though I fell asleep partway through. Probably due to staying up late. I swear, if I could burn out 11 page papers in 3 hours while I was at school, I would have had a much better time.

I like Lacquer's (and probably others) idea of reading over these posts as narration vs. just what I was saving them for. I also did a bit of testing for my guide. It, uh, went as expected.

I recorded myself rambling on the way to work, so I'll incorporate that in later. Maybe quotes, maybe just work it in. Probably both. [Actually, nah, just enjoy the transcript for the important bit. And the audio.]

I ran into a really key concept last night, which is especially important in regards to Methos, and the "don't fear parotting" mantra. Also, Fede. Awwww yeah.

But first, a recap:

After and important event (flag!) in my lounge (tentative title), I initiated intended forcing for the evening. As a note, as expected (because expected?), despite falling out of a visual forcing state/moving/fidgetting/waking up more fully, I was able to move back into a visualization state easier with practice.

I'm trying to hash out a routine that sets me into forcing/eases me easily into a Perfect Visualization State/Lucid Mode. [specific details on the traits of that mode to follow soon!]: I enter through the lounge, walk up to my custom-flower garden, and my attorney and I practice the Tai Chi form as far as we can get. One of the keys to this, as I'll explain in my guide, is to turn off narration/voices/language in my head. So, we did this, and then I clicked on some music [See the musical forcing guide I'm gonna make or tack on!].

Apart from my mind wondering, we did a whole bunch of things. Initially, I worked on visualizing as much of the wonderland as possible while sitting with my attorney on a bench. I've got a huge amphitheater, a stupidly gigantic oak tree and even more stupidly tall redwood, a library and the flowers as well as a damn good view of miscelaneous outerspace stuff. Doing this was mixed in with visualizing my attorney, and I was generally able to induce a sense of timelessness. From here, we danced a lot (very specificly vague, Yorke-style dancing) and had some epic battle-time. Partway through epic battle time, one of us realized we could fly, and shit. Got. Ridic[ulous.]

Also, due to an off-topic thread, I am going to impose this final boss servitor.

As with Hunter S. Thompson and gonzo journalism, I am aiming to present the situations in their full subjective experience. Thompson said he failed, and I am wrestling with the same problems. For both of us, there is the lens of time-since-event-occurrence, and writing/formatting/presenting it. Tape/video recording is the next closest thing (like "gonzo pornography". Same problems too, actually). The tape-recorded transcripts in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas are the closest to the experience as possible, particularly the one about The American Dream. For tulpaforcing, it is happening in your mind, and once you get to this inside-your-head point, you can only record one side of the conversation at best.

But, this is an old problem. Thompson may have been a little bit ahead of his time, but this is ultimately a dying concern. It died in Postmodernism with the deconstruction/death of the concept of authenticity. It was brought back in Metamodernism with the search for authentic sincerity. truth and Modernist end goals have returned. But ultimately, in this regard, the aim is to understand the concept as fully as possible.

This requires knowledge of my unique placement in space and time, and my personality. Every human being is unique in this aspect; no two people share space and time. This is an absolute. Every human is unique. Understanding the context (hypercontextuality)(and the death of over-arching explanations for things, such as culture, human nature, God, Freud, Marx, etc. in favor of local contextuality) is crucial.

I'm devising a technique I call "hypergonzo". It is my evolution of gonzo journalism, though I still do not know what it is, but I know it is necessary. It may be that it is only theoretical, and that it's closest expression is in/through fiction. Though that is the same problem as relating tulpaforcing, as it is all in your mind. Not sure of the non-fiction applications, but I believe it would require/is wrapped up in, real world experience of journalism and anthropology.

To relate this to the key tulpaforcing concept, any reader of this may read this and think, "Damn, this guy really does sound like he'll have no problem being an academic." Could be true, but I have to believe it, do it, and practice it. This analogy makes sense in regards to the transcript below.

The same goes for tulpaforcing/parotting. Reading about it in any guide will make it seem obvious to accept the responses your tulpas give. It gives the image of clear-cutness. But, this is not how reality goes. So, this is the important(relative) bit of my recent forcing:


[Transcript from this morning. Make your own inferences about forcing and such][And sweet god, I'm going to buy Dragon software because they have a function where you can enter in an audio file and it types out the text. Then I can just edit; the awesome part. Listening to yourself talk is weeeeeird. But you learn a lot from transcribing.]
[Hopefully this can do a better job of truly showing a tulpa's earliest responses and can help everyone skip that first mental hurdle]
[I did not intend to post the audio, but I did intend to listen to it and transcribe it. So there is a bit of... self-congratulating my awesome tastes in music. And the like.]

[The audio]

Alright, assuming this thing is working properly.... Here's the plan:
This would not do to copy...-- Sorry, I'm driving--This would not do as a proper replacement of the progress report, or to just copy down the transcript as the progress report... due to the after-the-fact nature of this recording.
That being said, I'm driving, and I have a lot to--worth writing down... And I don't want to wait for my first break to get to it.
Alright, so I think, last night, I hit on a very important key in forcing.
Um... it was an idea I encountered many times beforehand, and probably one of the biggest stepping stones to... to... tulpaforcing (tulpaforcing).
And, the thing is, is that you really don't understand until you encounter it.
I've read a lot of things, especially what Methos guide--Methos guide especially.
Essentially, y'know, don't doubt the responses. Assume they are from... your tulpa.
And, I hope to be able to, moreso when I write this out, get down to the exact, y'know, what's happening because I--I feel this is a very important part.
Because I've started getting some of my first major responses, so to say.
The problem is, uh, logically, or, y'know, intuitively, they just do not seem like a response from... my tulpa.
It just, doesn't add up.
Because, uh, the way you feel it.
It's a response you feel, and it's very quick; it seems just like regular thought.
Especially, when you're tulpa is using your voice to talk to you.
Uh. Before I actually got into the main forcing last night, which would've been... (Beethoven--Beethoven's third symphony). Good choice, good choice.
But, uh, before I actually got into that, I was hanging out in the lounge, and I was kind of getting, y'know, quick, like, back-and-forth mindgame-style responses.
Ehh, something like that.
It's closer to Fede's Method.
I believe Fede's Method will latch onto this particular point and improve the shit out of it. Um, but.
But, you can't--shit. Fuck; I lost myself--um. This method... (this method, this method...).
Yeah, so, the responses that I was getting, I got really super giddy, but it was uh... I was hanging out in the lounge area, beforehand, and I was saying something and then, you know, I kind of got, like, a response or two.
And the-the normal assumption is to just shove that under the rug, because you can feel it... you can feel yourself saying it, so to say.
All of this feeling about parotting and that, I figured that'd be really weird, because I figured it'd be obvious when you were getting responses.
But I guess, uh, maybe I should just point out: It's not obvious.
[The big reason why we fear parotting is that we (I assume it's all of us) fear we are shaping our tulpas without their permission, that we are deciding their thoughts for them. That's where The Fear lies, I believe. We assume these responses are noncensensual because they feel so much like our regular thought processes. That is, there isn't anything about them that would indicate they are something different. Other than context. The context that your are creating a tulpa.]
Um, after you have your first tulpa, I suppose it would be obvious, which would explain why you can create more... so much quicker.
And also why your mind can kind of, do it on its own, and then it happened without you realizing it.
Like, um, I think that's how Sands and Roswell got started.
Uh... But... I also think that's why Fede can use his method to bust out a tulpa in a week, like, to easily bust them out in a week.
Uh, my guess is he just--you just know; when you know what you're looking for, that's gonna be one of the Big things.
And... I was definitely having conversations and getting responses, the only thing is... It-it feels a lot like you're simply conversing with yourself.
Logically, you just assume, it would just make sense to brush it away.
So, um, I used Lanpc's method of, like, sparking--or maybe it was someone else--No, it was Lanpc-- of sparking... making like a spark--I had different visualizations, but this just ended up being easier to... delete those ideas the second they come up.
It's a very good idea.
Probably... dangerous in application.
So I just have to trust... my attorney... in that regard.
Uh. Which I believe I do, I believe I do.
It's uh, I'll just have to uh, Yeah--bits and pieces, actually, of the transcript.
There we go; that will still retain the subjective meaning...
Anyways! I need to, be able to...I dunno how to describe it, but I think I basically said what needed to be said.
Um, the-the point I'm getting at, and I hopefully I can elucidate this with just, like, a very detailed, uh, example [the transcript], is that it, sounds, like, it's just, you, talking.
There are quick responses and you're--they're somewhat uncontrolled, yes, but that's not, like--It honestly just feels like "split-second--bam!--thought in your head!"; [what I'm getting at here is that they are uncontrolled just like any thought that would strike you from your mind] the kind of thoughts, you'd always have.
And... Well, I guess, I've always had thoughts just kind of jump around [though my mind is much more focused than it was at the time of the first post here], but the idea is is that the thought just kind of pops, up... In a very not-definitive way; the kind of way where it feels like you're the one thinking it, and be like...
I need an example, is what I need.
That'd be the best.
Um... So, yeah. For example, you, uh... Fuck... I can't remember anything--You'd say something like...
AhhhhIdunno, I just gave like a "what's what" and "what's goin' down" for the day, probably.
Or, just kind of walked in, to the lounge area and started getting set up, and then I was like,
"Why isn't my attorney in the lounge? She really needs to be here or she really should be here; there's no reason that this shouldn't be her place as well.
Um, I guess I kinda gave it that atmosphere--Anyways, so then she shows up, and I just kind of had, y'know, it just, what felt like, er, sounded like and felt like, just kind of an errant thought.
You kind of say something and then its just auto-said back.
Once you realize this, this--these specifics, actually, the Fede Method really comes to mind, because his method is essentially just straight doing that.
[As a side note, whenever I talked to Fede as anon, he always said that I got it. The point is his method is applicable to everyone and everything. Why do you think he spammed it? He never really got this particular point across though. It is this core experience to the tulpaforcer that his method solves. Easily, and quickly.]
It's realizing that sensation, but he doesn't have any examples!
Which makes [incoherent] ridiculousy [incoherent] up his method! ["Which makes it ridiculously hard to back up his method"?]
So, we talked back and forth for a bit, and then went in to the main forcing for the night [I call it "talked", but that is not exactly what it was. Hard to describe, and it is only in retrospect that I can correctly acknowledge it]:
Visualization, uh, testing out my method, my guide method.
And it's working out fairly decently. Um, I think. I dunno, I mean, I've only used it once.
Um, I'm pretty sure it's right. And honestly, that's all you need for a guide to work.
I wanna quote myself on that. [a note assuming I didn't copy this whole transcript]
Um, really though what I wanna do is get this information out to Lacquer, um, and any beginner forcers, because I believe this is a very impor--important key step.
And one of the biggest causes of grief.
Especially-- I mean, as you can see from Methos-- People just keep saying, "Don't doubt it, don't doubt it, don't doubt," but they don't really give you any specifics, and that's not good; without the specifics you don't know what you're encountin--encountering.
Um, and when you don't know what you're encountering, you're going to get stuck in the same pitfalls.
So, that's going to be the point of this... of this entry. I'll see if I can't write down some specifics... at, uh, at work.
Gettin' to work now.
But, uh, yeah, you just don't... you don't realize it.
So, keep up the forcing.
And, just kind of keep doing this--this back and forth, until you slowly, slowly, like, kind of separate the whole thing so it doesn't really just feel like you, and parotting responses, and various things like that.
They always say, "Don't fear parotting! Don't do this! Don't do that! Don't do this and that."
What they don't, tell you, heh--They tell you why not to fear it, but they don't give you a how.
And so, you're left t' just wonder.
But, that's the nature of it.
So, let's see if I can't type this bitch up.
It's gonna be miserable; I hate typing up transcripts.
Fuckin'... enough goddam reason to get that "Dragon" software.
Get it fuckin' done anyways.
Alright, later!


[Hot damn, I sound like an ENTP. My training has paid off][I need to learn2footnotes, or probably pastebin, but I don't even know what that thing is]
[Dear Lacquer, did I slip in this stream-of-consciousness? Oh yeah, game on baby. Her last name is the important bit, which I can promise I'll never slip on. I'm only continuing the attorney shtick 'cause the fuzzies I get every time I type "my attorney". Well, I guess its meaningless due to things and such, but still, got my A-game anyway. B-game. Got my B-game today.]

#transcriptionsarethekeytowriting #fedesjewnose #omgomgomgomg