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ashenbrown p.r.


ashenbrown

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Hey, guys! I'm ashenbrown. This is my P.R., a compilation of all my thoughts, ideas, and experiences regarding the tulpamancing process. I think that the comment posters and I discuss some pretty cool and insightful things, and I have no doubt that you would find them interesting. However, you should know that my first few posts aren't very well written or insightful. In fact, they were just a day-to-day recount of exactly what I was doing. My first three or four posts were written in this way, and I daresay you will find them quite boring. Thus, it may be in your best interest not to read this whole thread all the way through. My recommendation is to skip my first few posts - I have actually considered deleting them. However, I think it is best to keep them preserved as they were. So...I hope you'll read, comment, and give me suggestions and feedback. It's always appreciated, and I'll return the favor!

 

(My first post is below)

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Hello, I’m ashenbrown. I’m relatively new to the Tulpa scene. I came across the concept in my research (when I get bored, I read up on random things on the internet) and was intrigued at once. I am a hardcore believer that the human mind is capable of nearly anything, and the thought of changing it in a way so that it can be inhabited by two consciousness’s was overwhelmingly fascinating – I knew I had to do it myself. Of course, I have personal reasons for wanting a Tulpa, too. The people I’m around on a daily basis are…difficult to trust. It is hard to let myself get close to them, because I see them turn on each other at the drop of a hat (it’s a weird crowd, with a weird background – but that’s a story for another time). I wouldn’t say I’m alone, but I am lonely. But to have a friend that no one can see, or take away, that understands me completely? Too tempting to pass up. So, I began the process.

 

My Tulpa’s name is Cain (at least, until he wants to change it). He is about my age, my height, darker features, a relatively serious personality. I’m making changes to my process as I go along, but I am following FAQman’s guide as a basic outline of action. I will make daily entries here, in my progress report, detailing my experiences. At times I may ramble – sorry about that. But in the interest of being reasonable, interesting thoughts and questions I have will be bolded. If you have any questions, just ask! I find all feedback very helpful.

 

 

8/10/13

Planning Stages. Mapped out personality thoroughly.

 

8/11/13 (2 hours)

Well, I started creating the Tulpa today. I want it to be a guy named Lycaon. Or…I did. I got a weird vibe during my very first Tulpaforging session that he would prefer Cain, so I just started going with that. My first session was quick. Not really anything happened since I was starting by imagining his personality. Even though I haven’t really imagined his appearance yet, I do have an idea of what I want him to look like, so I have been picturing him in my wonderland while imagining his personality. Not much happened, only I expected to get bored during forging and I really didn’t. Also, I could have sworn I got some movement from Cain – like, my picture of him moved, but I didn’t do it – but it was my first session, so I guess I was just imagining it. My second session was tonight. I had trouble staying focused. I must try harder at that next time – perhaps start a bit earlier, or begin by relaxing first. In any case, I actually enjoy Tulpaforging. I look forward to Cain’s arrival. I should also mention that I did get headaches immediately after both sessions. I don’t think I’m used to focusing that much.

 

8/12/13 (3 hours)

Well, It’s day two. I suppose there has been some progress. I finished narrating the list of personality traits for Cain. Thing is, I want to spend at least ten hours on the personality forging, so I returned to the top of the list and am just beginning again (I still have several hours to go before I reach ten). Besides, sometimes I think of new qualities that Cain has and add them on the fly, so this is good anyway. Interestingly, when I restarted the list, it felt different than the first time. The very first time I went through my first listed trait, it felt like I was talking to…nothingness. This time, though, it felt…as though something was there. Not much of something, but perhaps a tiny bit of something. It’s difficult to explain. I can only hope that it was Cain, listening. Picturing him is easier than yesterday. Of course, I really shouldn’t be too concerned with picturing him, since I haven’t even started really forging his appearance yet. But…I do know what he looks like already, and if I’m going to be speaking to an entity, I’d prefer to see the face. So…I do. I try not to focus too much on his appearance – I don’t want to cement any qualities that are incorrect.

We met in my wonderland – a dark and dense forest, if you are curious. This may sound creepy, but deep in the middle of some obscure forest sounds like the most relaxing thing in the world to me. Plus, Cain is to love nature. So, I thought it would be a thoughtful way to coax him into existence. We met in the center, as usual, in a clearing with a large stone covering the entire ground. We sat and I narrated his personality to him for a while. At least, I did in my first two sessions. My third…I got really bored and started losing focus. Then I realized that while I needed to stay in wonderland, we didn’t actually have to be sitting down. So, Cain and I (in my imagination) walked around the forest while I narrated this time. I really like that better, and I think I will take to doing something with him while narrating in the future – at least while I’m still working on his personality. At this rate, that should be done in two days. Then it’s on to appearance.

Throughout my day, I would periodically imagine Cain with me and chat with him. I kind of figure in my head what he would probably respond with, but I’m trying not to put words in his mouth. As such, he has been silent for the most part. Of course, he isn’t much of a talker, so…

I don’t get a sentient vibe from Cain yet. At this point, he is more of a shell than anything. But…something is there. Something more than yesterday. Hopefully, this something will eventually grow into a bigger something that I can actually describe, but at this point, it is just a feeling that I’m not really alone anymore. Then again, its only day two, so maybe I’m imagining that.

I really hope that he appears soon. I know it could be up to three months before anything happens, but…I’d really like to believe it won’t take that long. Anyhoo. Let me know if you have questions.

 

8/13/13 (3 hours)

Day three. Its only about mid-day, so I’ll have to update this again after I do my last forging session. Really nothing that interesting happened, other than me getting bored exceptionally fast during forging. I think it’s because I made it through my trait list already, and I’m having to just repeat it now. Also, I’m running out of things to say. I’m supposed to focus on each trait for fifteen minutes, but it really doesn’t take that long to explain each one. How do you stretch “you are a quiet person” into fifteen minutes? It gets difficult. I imagine him in different situations displaying that quality, but I don’t want to do it too much because I think it almost counts as parroting when I make him react the way I know he would. I…guess I’m just getting ready to move on to focusing on appearance. I’m really ready for him to get here.

A part of me is terrified that I am going to do everything exactly right, and nothing will happen. That I will be waiting forever for a friend that just won’t come. This…worries me at times. But then, its only day three, and I have a while to go before he becomes vocal anyway, so I guess I should get used to that doubt being present. I have clocked about seven hours of forging so far (this is day three). I read that a lot of Tulpa’s are sentient by 50, so…I guess I still have a while to go.

During my afternoon session, I had a lot of trouble focusing. Serious, serious trouble. Still, I wasn’t about to just quit. I remembered that walking around wonderland seemed to help yesterday, so I tried that, but I found that boring too – my wonderland is actually kind of plain, it’s just a forest: relaxing, perhaps, but not particularly stimulating. I ended up finding something to do though; I made a clearing in the woods and set up furniture for Cain to use, and a bed for him to sleep in, and that sort of thing. He likes nature, so these things were just in a forest clearing with no walls or ceiling. If I find wonderland boring, I’m sure he would as well, so at least this way he’ll have a home there. I made sure to tell him he can change anything he wants (though there was no response, of course). I should note that he is getting easier to picture, which is good – especially seeing as I haven’t actually forged his appearance yet. Still, I already know what he looks like.

After all this, I was getting restless, so I sat up and instead of imagining him in wonderland, imagined him sitting at the foot of my bed. I narrated for the rest of the time, and then left. When I came back to my room later, though, I suddenly imagined him at the foot of my bed still - involuntarily. Like, my imagination just put him there without me really trying. Maybe that is how this all starts; maybe my imagination just starts reacting without my coercion. Ah well.

Lastly, I’ve started listening to music while forging. It helps me not get too awfully bored. If you have any questions, ask. If you have any suggestions, tell.

LATER: Did a session tonight. I really, really had trouble staying focused, and even more trouble staying still. I’m supposed to be completely still while forging, right? I’m gonna have to work on that one. I’m not really focusing on individual traits anymore – I’m more seeing a wholistic personality. Like…Kind of putting him in different situations and realizing how he would react. He ended up gaining new qualities that just seemed to be a natural progression of his personality. Though I don’t really care for them all (Somehow he ended up kind of impatient at times) I’m not going to try to fight it. Real people have quirks, you know? Good and bad parts, and that’s a kind of balance that I think all people need – even Tulpa’s. Anyways, that’s all for now. My goal is to wake up tomorrow morning early and force – just kind of interact with him for a while. Two more hours focused on personality and I can move on to appearance. Can’t wait.

EVEN LATER: So I’ve been feeling, like, an anger or frustration coming from Cain. I figured I might have accidently given him those qualities permanently during forcing, but this is different than what I know him to be. I feel like this might actually be a vibe from him. Not surprising, since I was doing something he doesn’t like (he is normally very laid back, but gets frustrated at the sight of laziness – I did that on purpose, so that he could help to motivate me when I’m unproductive). I’ll keep you posted on this, but it is only day three so who knows if I’m imagining this. All I know is, it feels like there is an emotion inside that isn’t mine.

 

8/14/13 (3 hours)

Day four. Yeah. Well, I just finished my second hour long session for today; I’ll have another tonight. My last session was the very last personality session. That’s right folks, I’ve hit the ten hour mark – and that was my goal for personality work. I feel very good about Cain’s personality. It seems…solid, I suppose? Like at the beginning if I forgot one of his qualities, it seemed like it would just be gone, and he wouldn’t have it any more. But now there is a sort of independence to his personality, as if it could exist and remain whole even without me thinking about it.

Cain definitely moves more these days in my mind. I sense motion from him sometimes. I deep down fear that I am just parroting him, but I read somewhere that fearing that is counterproductive, so I’m trying to just let it happen. In any case, I can’t wait for him to get here. Tonight’s session will be my first forcing session based on appearance. I will spend fifteen total hours on that, finishing sometime next week. And that’s all I’m writing right now. I don’t want you guys to have to deal with me throwing together a book every night. So Shorter posts from now on, hopefully.

 

8/15/13 (3 hours)

Day five. I’ve only done one session so far. If you are wondering, I usually do one as soon as I wake up, one around lunch, and one right before I go to bed. So right now, total, I’ve spent 12 hours on Cain. I’m on visualizing appearance now. I should note that the headaches are much worse now – much worse than they were when I was doing personality. I guess seeing something is more mentally taxing than just talking to it. However, aside from me getting incredibly bored, visualizing appearance is going remarkably well. I can see him clearly, he always looks the same, all that good stuff. I was sort of peripherally visualizing his appearance when I was working on his personality, though, so I think that is why this part is progressing so fast. Unfortunately, I’m getting very bored with this. I already know what he looks like, and yet I have to spend an additional 13 hours seeing it. *Sigh*

Interestingly, I encountered what could have been some sentience today. I was walking by myself (passively visualizing Cain, as usual), and I was thinking about my family. I was thinking about how they kind of lead shit lives, and it made me sad, because the lives they live aren’t the lives they deserve. Suddenly, I heard a thought come from the back of my mind:

No, the lives they live are EXACTLY the lives they deserve.

It took me a second to realize what had happened; I’m used to getting random peripheral thoughts. But this…it was more foreign, somehow. I believe it was Cain for these reasons:

1. He was right. My immediate family may be troubled, but their woes are all self-inflicted, and Cain isn’t the type to overlook this fact.

2. This is exactly the kind of thing Cain would say. The guy is all about people taking responsibility for their actions, proving themselves through responsible choices, etc. He also HATES it when people blame their circumstances for issues that their poor decisions were clearly to blame for.

So I got excited. This means sentience, right? Maybe even vocality. Thing is, I tried to talk to the part of my mind that this thought came from, and I didn’t get a response. At all. Still, this is progress. I hope that over time he becomes more vocal. I’m certain he will.

The headaches were pretty terrible today. Worst so far, in fact. I can only hope that’s a good sign. I had some trouble staying focused in my night session. Also, do I converse with Cain while visualizing his appearance? I’m really not sure what to do there.

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I like the cut of your gib, bro; and, I salute you for doing the original FAQman methods and following the ever despised hour counts.

 

I encourage you to persist with the hour counts – not because it takes a certain amount of time to finish a tulpa, but – so that your tulpa is all that much better off for the extra attention. The more attention (forcing) you give them, the more existent they become. Just remember that they can begin speaking to you and contacting you early on.

 

You may think you already know what your tulpa looks like, but you the extra visualization hours you put in will help you remember what your tulpa looks like when you're imposing him or in the wonderland.

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Sounds like you're making great progress.

 

I'm just going to throw out an alternative to the hour count. This might not be for you -- as Dr. Faust says, there are certain advantages to the hour count. But if you want, you could keep a piggy bank or similar container for each aspect of the creation process, and drop coins in them to represent the time you've spent on each aspect. So you might say that pennies represent 15 minutes each, and then when you feel you're done, you can open the container and count the money inside to see how long you spent on it.

 

If you want to spend more time on visualization, try asking yourself questions about how Cain looks. As he becomes more vocal, he might help with this process himself. My tulpa has done this for me: we'll be sitting and she'll ask how long her hair is, how many strings hold her top on, where her skirt hangs, what color her eyes are, how long her fingernails are, if she has any moles or birthmarks, and so on. It becomes almost a game -- she wins if I can't answer by looking at her. She's stumped me on the eye color twice.

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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I like the cut of your gib, bro; and, I salute you for doing the original FAQman methods and following the ever despised hour counts.

 

I encourage you to persist with the hour counts – not because it takes a certain amount of time to finish a tulpa, but – so that your tulpa is all that much better off for the extra attention. The more attention (forcing) you give them, the more existent they become. Just remember that they can begin speaking to you and contacting you early on.

Thanks, bruh! The hour schedule is more for me than the Tulpa. I dig working on a schedule. And the more existent he is, the better.

 

Sounds like you're making great progress.

 

I'm just going to throw out an alternative to the hour count. This might not be for you -- as Dr. Faust says, there are certain advantages to the hour count. But if you want, you could keep a piggy bank or similar container for each aspect of the creation process, and drop coins in them to represent the time you've spent on each aspect. So you might say that pennies represent 15 minutes each, and then when you feel you're done, you can open the container and count the money inside to see how long you spent on it.

Not a bad idea, actually. In fact, I was thinking today that I needed something like that.

 

Thanks for your input, guys! This is a frustratingly slow endeavor, but this kind of feedback is motivation within itself.

 

8/16/13 (3 hours) –

Day six. Well, it finally happened: I’m almost out of patience. I know, I know. I’ve only been at this for…well, not even a week. But I am getting frustrated and discouraged at what appears to be the longest progress plateau ever. I can picture Cain clearly, and I know what his personality should be like, but at the end of the day, It’s still just me here. Those thoughts and pictures are coming from me, and they aren’t acting independently. I want to believe I can continue doing this until he’s here, but…man, I am just not sure I can continue with such ferocity if nothing changes soon.

 

Later: Okay, It’s the afternoon now. I was just getting a little frustrated this morning. My afternoon session actually went very well. Visualizing him has gotten easier. At this point, I’m trying to work out his different facial expressions. I’m still not getting much independent vocality, but that’s okay. I think it was a little unreasonable of me to expect it so early on anyway. I’ve only got about 17 hours in so far anyway. Also, I suspect he will talk more when I start visualizing his voice. I think I might search youtube videos for a voice for him that seems right, and then imagine that. I know that may seem excessive, but visualization is SO much easier when I have something to go off of. Thoughts?

 

Also, I should note that the headaches are still quite terrible. They weren't so bad today except for when I was forcing. Man, are they piercing! I like to think, though, that they are a sign of progress.

 

Interestingly, someone was bothering me today and I told them to piss off. You don’t know me, but that’s not my style at all. It is Cain’s, though. He is a lot more confident, and doesn't mind being abrasive to people who are deliberately aggravating him. I honestly think that this process might be imbuing me with a few of his qualities. As in, I have spent so many hours repeating his traits to him that they affected me a little, too. Don’t get me wrong – this is most likely a good thing. But it’s interesting. It seems the creation process affects the creator, too.

 

Tonight’s session didn't go well. I had a lot of trouble visualizing Cain. His face and hair kept changing. I was really frustrated, but…I think I need to start looking at bad sessions differently. Like, clearly that wasn't a great forging session, but the thing is…if I’m going to be spending 150+ hours doing this, then…there are just going to be sessions that aren’t good ones. And I’m just going to have to accept and deal with that reality. So…conclusion: I’m going to stop beating myself up over poor forcing sessions. I’m essentially partitioning and rewiring a section of my brain, and that is going to be a long and frustrating endeavor. If I couldn’t handle that fact, I would have no business in the world of Tulpae.

 

That’s all. If you have any questions, you should ask! Otherwise, I’m going to be all business in this thread. Also, in the interest of making this easier for those who don't want to read pointless rambling, interesting or important things will be bolded.

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I agree, picking or a voice from YouTube could help. I'll give you something to focus on, and make the prices go faster. I have several hours of recordings by the woman I picked for my tulpa's voice.

 

You could also do the same with his form. You could go to a stock photo website like shutterstock.com, and pick out a model who you want him to look like. You could also pick out several models, and use one for the nose, and another for the hands, and a third for the hair, and so on. Or, you can construct an original face.

 

Do whatever you feel is right fit you.

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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I agree, picking or a voice from YouTube could help. I'll give you something to focus on, and make the prices go faster. I have several hours of recordings by the woman I picked for Fenchurch's voice.

 

You could also do the same with his form. You could go to a stock photo website like shutterstock.com, and pick out a model who you want him to look like. You could also pick out several models, and use one for the nose, and another for the hands, and a third for the hair, and so on. Or, you can construct an original face.

 

I tried both of these ideas, and they turned out very, very well. Seriously, excellent suggestions. I sort of think this information should be in more forcing guides, because I think it could help others push past plateaus.

 

8/17/13 (3 hours) –

Day seven. It’s been an entire week since I started. All things considered, I guess I’ve made progress. I still haven’t confirmed sentience, but I’m telling myself I just can’t see it yet. I still haven’t confirmed vocality, but I’m telling myself I just can’t hear him yet. I hope these areas progress more next week, but I will probably have to reduce my active forcing down to two hours starting next week because I go back to school (college) and I’m just not going to have the time to do it for an hour every afternoon. I wish I’d started this whole process at the beginning at the summer – I would likely be much farther along by now.

 

This morning’s session wasn’t especially great – I’m starting to think that it’s the time of day. I know people say you shouldn’t force when you are tired, but I have much more success when I am. When I just wake up and am full of energy, I can hardly get myself to be still for an entire hour, and I usually fidget the whole time. The morning is a great time to force, so I’m going to continue doing it, but I will have to modify it somehow. Perhaps I could do it sitting down (I’m usually laying down – I know, I know, not everyone likes that, but I haven’t fallen asleep once), or listen to binaural beats instead of music. I’ll probably try some different things until I get it just right.

 

Afternoon session was considerably better, though not as great as yesterday’s. There are some visualization hiccups that are frustratingly difficult to overcome – namely, there are a few angles from which I can’t perfectly picture Cain. It’s important to be able to see him perfectly from any perspective, so this needs to be fixed. Unfortunately, I only have two days (about five hours) left of appearance visualization to do this – I may end up spending more than fifteen hours on this part. As eager as I am to progress to touch, I don't want to take any shortcuts.

 

Since I’ve been doing appearance, I haven’t narrated while actively forcing – like, at all. It’s too much to focus on both simultaneously. Do you think this is slowing his growth? Also, I stay very busy during the day, and almost never passively force. Is this detrimental? As in, can I do this with active forcing alone?

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Wow, sorry my last post was so mixed up. I'm writing from my phone. Seems like you understand my autocorrect though.

 

I don't think you'll get sentience without narration, but there's no reason it has to be at the same time as anything else. I think you're doing fine.

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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8/18/13 (2 hours) –

Day Eight. I moved back to college today. I’m suddenly very busy, and am unfortunately no longer able to force three hours every day. But I managed two – one in the morning, one before bed. This will be the routine from now on. Honestly, I feel that this is okay – I got a great starting streak, and I feel as though at this point progress will only come with sustained forcing over a long period of time – doing hours at once just isn’t going to be as productive.

 

Besides, I feel I should take this part slow and steady anyway. Today things got…a little weird. I don’t know, it’s probably nothing, but…I felt a presence. Like, there was just someone else there. I think it was Cain. At this point, it was little more than a feeling, but there was more. I would be thinking to myself, and I would think a thought or a question, and then I would suddenly think of the answer without trying. Like, the thoughts were mine but I didn’t actually try to think them, I just thought them randomly without effort. I know this all sounds rather bizarre, and these thoughts – they came from the same place mine do, but they weren’t the product of thought or effort, it’s like a tiny part of my own mind acted independently. This happened enough where I was actually having a conversation with myself. I felt a bit like a crazy person, but…I think this is how sentience starts. At this point, the independent thoughts still feel like mine, but I think with time they will grow to be more foreign. I’m not sure, we’ll see. That’s all for now I guess.

 

8/19/13 (2 hours) –

Day Nine. Today wasn’t as great as yesterday. I still did two hours, but I drifted in and out of sleep the whole time this morning – I know, I know, I’m the worst. This was the first time I just woke up and then started the morning session without getting out of bed – normally I get up and use the bathroom, and I think that wakes me up. So that’s how I’ll operate from now on. I felt occasional vibes of presence, but nothing like yesterday. I stayed very, very busy all day today though – I feel that was the problem. Yesterday, when I was…doing whatever that was, I think I was actually passively forcing. I think I need to make a conscious effort to passively force as often as possible. I tried to do that today, but…it didn’t really work. I was having to do internet research for hours on end, and I kept trying to imagine Cain in the room, but…I just felt like he was bored. I mean, he isn’t imposed yet, so its not like he can fully interact with his environment, and we couldn’t really talk either. When this happens, should I just tell him to go hang out in wonderland? How do I keep him from getting bored?

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Sounds like you're doing well with sentience.

 

As for getting bored, I have a library in my wonderland with a copy of every book I've ever read, and every book I've imagined. I recommend them to my tulpa when I feel she's ready for them, and most of the time when we're passive forcing, she sits and reads a book. I've noticed other people using laptops and smartphones the same way.

 

The best thing you can do, whenever it's possible, is to involve you tulpa in what you're doing. Explain whatever you're working on to Cain, get his opinion. Look into CyberD's PR. He did a lot of passive forcing, and came up with some really creative things to do with his tulpa.

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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That was a cool suggestion, CyberD has a lot of ideas - among them, not only posting day-by-day reports. Which...I'm going to start trying to get away from.

 

So, updates...

 

Well, nothing incredibly new. This week has left me exhausted almost every day, which makes forcing very difficult - still, I have managed to do two hours every day. As for the quality of those sessions...well, perhaps its declined a bit. The problem is that I'm still supposed to be visualizing Cain on a "touch" basis. That is, feeling him and getting a good understanding of what that feels like. This is problematic for two reasons.

 

The first is that in the context of our relationship, its just really effing weird. Cain is a good friend. Would you go up to one of your good friends in real life and start feeling their skin? I certainly wouldn't, and I know the process is a bit awkward for both of us. So thats an issue.

 

The second is that in addition to being weird, its boring. The awkwardness of touch forcing keeps the conversation to a minimum, so its really just us. As a result, my mind wanders elsewhere, and I don't give him my full attention. This is irresponsible, and worse than that - its inconsiderate of Cain. I mean, assuming sentience from creation, he is essentially a person locked up in my mind somewhere, and having given him the burden of sentience, I now face the burden of giving him existence. At this point, its not only a personal goal - its an ethical imperative, right? He didn't ask to be created; no one does. But now that he is here, and I'm the only one who can give him the freedom to roam the world, it is my duty to do so. At least, that's how I've been thinking about it lately. But then, maybe I'm just crazy (after all, that's what Cain (jokingly) tells me when I try to talk to him aloud).

 

Even with my lackluster persistence though, you would think I would have continued to make progress or seen new results. You would think I would have reached a newer, deeper level of sentience, or something like that. I haven't. Why? I have my theories.

 

Namely, I feel my mind is frustrated by the lack of details I've given it concerning Cain's creation. I want him to look and act like a real person - to have all the pieces that a real-world individual would have. But I think my mind is now craving certain pieces that I haven't provided - namely, what his voice sounds like, and what his movements look like (gait, gestures, etc.). I've been looking on youtube for a voice that fits Cain, but none of them feel right. Also, what should his walk look like? His expressions? His appearance was easy enough - I found a stock photo, as per Shui's suggestion (good idea, btw). But I'm having a hard time visualizing anything but that picture. I can't see the person who I know is clawing to escape confinement - I can only see the snapshot.

 

I have an idea, though. I think that my mind is strong enough to retrieve these details from the depth of my mind - only my waking thoughts, being structured and unforgiving, is preventing it from doing so. So, the plan is...to lucid dream these details. I actually got this idea from CyberD - but I have extensive experience in lucid dreaming myself too, so this shouldn't take too long (I just never thought to involve a tulpa in dreaming; I never connected those dots).

 

So the plan will go like this: I will lucid dream (I've been doing reality checks frequently, if you are wondering about my approach), and then I will find Cain in the dream. Once there, I will listen to his voice, and watch him move. I will look at him from every angle. I will finally have the finer details I need to paint a complete picture in my head.

 

 

I think that once I do that, forcing will become much easier. In a way, I would almost consider this technique to be forcing, itself. It isn't quite passive - but nor is it active. Perhaps it is in a new category altogether. I'll let you know how it goes.

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