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AttackDoughnut's Excitingly Titled Journal Thread


AttackDoughnut

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A good day to all!

 

Here, I will be posting my progress with my tulpa(e) on a... whenever I feel like basis.

 

Now that my riveting and engaging opening lines are out of the way, on to the actual progress reports!... Actually some background first.

 

Background

 

I had heard of tulpas around two years ago, and had considered making one. I'd always had trouble maintaining friendships. Since I was young, I was frequently sick and couldn't go out much. Despite that, I had some people I considered my friends. But in high school, I got so sick I had to drop out sophomore year. During the 6 months I spent basically unable to stand by myself, not one of those people I thought was my friend did anything to check up on me. When I came back to school, every last one of them were just like, "Oh, you're back? Where were you?" I don't know about normal friendships, but when someone you see every weekday is gone for SIX MONTHS, you inquire about it at the least.

 

Even in college, I've had trouble with friends. Out of the many awesome people who I hung out with, I only even talk to two of them anymore. Most of them just stopped talking to me, and two of them shut me out completely because of an argument we had about ten dollars... So I'm out two good friends and ten dollars. Life has been great in the social spectrum!

 

Since high school and realizing I was totally alone, I've always wanted a best friend. And since discovering tulpas, it seemed like the perfect solution. I do realize the severity of the situation; a friend that's with you always and will be forever. So I took nearly two years to mull it over, and finally decided to go for it.

 

And so, I've begun!

 

 

Progress from 5/31/14 to 6/4/14

 

The first day, I decided her name and form. She's a young (I'm bad at pinning numbers on ages) anthropomorphic fox girl with blue-green eyes and digitigrade legs. Brown hair and dark brown "boot" fur patterns on her arms and legs. I was flipping between Amy and May, and felt that Amy was better. Still though, I accidentally call her May on occasion, and sometimes even May-me. I've a feeling she gets a little huffy when I do that.

 

The first night I continued to narrate to her as much as I could, and about an hour before I went to sleep, I actually got some head pressure! That was exciting.

 

The next two days I spend in a mixed state. I narrated, visualized, thought up my wonderland, and read basically every tutorial on the web.

 

Yesterday, though, I read a guide that mentioned that having a tulpa chat in the IRC might be good for having a tulpa get better at communication. I pitched the idea, and immediately thought against it. I paused, thinking that was strange. Amy is a very outgoing and excitable, and would almost certainly jump at the chance to talk to others. I realized that she had just told me that she wasn't confident enough in her ability to talk yet, and didn't want to try that just yet! I immediately did a little dance at how quickly she was able to do something like emotional response. We had fun the rest of the day. And while she hasn't had another one yet, I made sure she knew how proud I was of her.

 

Today, we practiced meditation and loaded up some self-hypnosis stuff. I've a feeling I could be really good at it, considering how easily I can entrance myself in meditation. Looking forward to doing that tomorrow!

Tulpas

Amy

Nine-Tailed Kitsune

Sigma

Anthro Cat-Bat

The Kippies!

Jazz (M), Viola (F), Chime (H), Fife (M), Iris (F), Robyn (F), Aster (M), Sage (F), Dune (M), Snowbell (F), Rosemary (F), Glyph (M), Volt (M), Circuit (F)

The Baybees~

Marina, Acorn, Anais, Lily, Chip

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6/5/14

 

Did a lot of active forcing today! Which is hard, seeing as how, while I don't have ADD or anything, I've an overly creative mind that tends to wander from story idea to character idea to setting up scenes to blah blah blah. I can never really focus on one thought process for very long.

 

I tried doing self-hypnosis for the first time. I'm not quite sure I actually got hypnotized, but I sure did get insanely relaxed and was able to focus super hard. I spent a good two hours narrating with Amy without even realizing how much time had passed!

 

It's been a pretty great day, if I do say so. I can almost hear her trying to talk to me. Like little whispers of thought that aren't quite mine, but I can't focus on them enough to understand. I've a feeling it upsets her a little that I can't hear her; I keep getting emotions of huffiness and grumpiness whenever I think I hear something but can't understand it.

 

I've just been cuddling her and scratching her ears to try and make her feel better, and it's been helping. I just wish this could go faster! More for her sake. I dislike it when she's upset!

Tulpas

Amy

Nine-Tailed Kitsune

Sigma

Anthro Cat-Bat

The Kippies!

Jazz (M), Viola (F), Chime (H), Fife (M), Iris (F), Robyn (F), Aster (M), Sage (F), Dune (M), Snowbell (F), Rosemary (F), Glyph (M), Volt (M), Circuit (F)

The Baybees~

Marina, Acorn, Anais, Lily, Chip

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Just be patient. It took me about two weeks of forcing before Jason began "speaking".

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Hello Deliciously Violent Pastry!

You seem to have made great progress. I hope that by the time I've been at this as long as you my tulpa will be interacting with me that much. I'm confident that we will, but still. It's really encouraging to see you just a few days ahead of me and already doing so well. Thank you! It does help. :)

Date Started Forcing: 6/04/2014 at ~11:35am EST

Tulpa's Name: Tyrone

Progress so far: Tulpish

Working on: vocalization

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6/6/14

 

SO LAST NIGHT WAS INTERESTING.

 

Whilst listening to music and competing in a heated alphabet/pony battle with Jean-Luc *shakes fist*, I realized that after my self-hypnosis session, I hadn't ACTUALLY TRIED TO TALK TO AMY. All I did was passively narrate! I shut off my music and the TV and quieted down my never-ending onslaught of random thoughts. And before I could even say anything, I hear in my head, "I want you to know, I'm here, don't worry", in a girl's voice.

 

After my heart resumed beating, I asked Amy if that was her, and got, "Yes. I love you, *insert my IRL name here*!" And then I almost cried.

 

I am SO glad I was alone last night, because the spectacle I put on would have made my family worry. A lot. Less jumping for joy and more facial expressions cycling between ecstatic and near weeping with a smile on my face. All while still trying to talk, which didn't work so well on my end.

 

Amy and I didn't talk -much-, I was too excited and let my emotions block out a lot of her speech, making it so I was parroting a lot. But when I bunkered down and focused on her form and face, I was able to hear her.

 

Found out a few things. She dislikes the hot tub on the patio of our Wonderland home. Says that she's already covered in fur, and being in hot water just makes her pant (she gets a little embarrassed when she does fox-like things like tail-wagging or barking). So I told her she doesn't have to go in, but I'd like to keep it, since it helps me relax. She also told me she hates the grey metal coloring of the ENTIRE HOUSE. I tried to make it future-y chrome, which I rather liked. She said it was "icky". I told her to change it herself, and I'd see if I liked it.

 

We kept talking about nothing in particular, and a few minutes later, I checked back on the living room and IT WAS PURPLE. SHE ACTUALLY CHANGED IT HERSELF. As happy as I was with her, it was a bit too purple for my tastes. Around the shade of purple as Twilight Sparkle's hair, for reference. I proposed a compromise and changed it so that it was more of a translucent purple painted over the grey. The result was a nice grey with a clear-ish purple varnish over it. I rather liked it.

 

I decided it was time for sleep, and buried my head in my pillow. Oh, the whole wonderland discussion took place whilst lying on my bed. Amy still seemed awake though, so I thought I'd humor her and see if she wanted to try some possession. She seemed skeptical, not sure if she could do anything. I told her I was mostly joking, but it's not like it could hurt to try. My left arm being the only thing besides my head not under the blankets, I told her to try moving that. Slowly but surely, I felt a tingling in my elbow. I tried SO HARD not to get excited, but instead just kept encouraging her to keep at it. In under a minute, she had my arm up in the air! It wasn't much, she couldn't extend my forearm, but my elbow was pointed straight up in the air and I had nothing to do with it.

 

Pulling all of my effort not to just bolt out of my bed and do a stupid jig, I told Amy to try doing something. My arm sluggishly moved toward my head, and my index finger went semi-straight. The finger then poked my left eyelid and pulled it open. I asked Amy what she was doing, and just heard giggling. Then, she turned the back of my hand towards my forehead and laid it to rest there, letting the rest of my arm flop behind my head. I then heard, "Oh lawd! I feel so faint and girly!" In an overly-southern accent. Amy like teasing me, confirmed.

 

That's not the best part though. I asked her to move my arm back to where it had been after she first moved it, which she did. Then, I told her to try to make a fist, since she had only moved my index finger so far. It was slow and twitchy, but she did it eventually! While praising her for her efforts, she slowly moved the fist over my head; it hung barely a centimeter above my left cheek. My arm went limp, and my fist smooshed the side of my face. I ask Amy if she just punched me with my own fist. She said yes as flatly as she could manage.

 

She put my arm back in its resting position, and I had yet another idea. I had her try to move my face, just to be sure that I wasn't being silly and moving it by myself or something. I had her try to make a facial expression on me, and I'd try to guess what she was doing. That way, I wouldn't be influencing the movement in any way! The first one, she lifted the left corner of my mouth up, and I immediately guessed smirk. She huffed, and reset my face to neutral. My upper lip then curled up and I guessed snarl. She huffed more, and reset my face again. I could then feel my jaw opening, and had no idea what she was doing this time. She got happy that I didn't know what she was doing and continued. My jaw slowly opened over the course of about a minute, and then my tongue stuck out. She had trouble sticking my tongue out and opening my jaw at the same time, so my jaw went slack and squished my tongue. But she redoubled her efforts and managed to keep my tongue out and open my jaw quite a ways. After some thought, I guessed, "Amy, is this VOMITING?!" She was ecstatic that I guessed it and my face went slack. Then this happened, "Amy, you JUST said that grey was 'icky', and then you made a VOMIT face?" "Um... yes?" She was very embarrassed.

 

After teasing her a bit, I had another idea. I have blocked her from going into my memories so that she wouldn't be shaped according to what's happened to me, more what she's supposed to be herself. Anyway, I thought since she has a REALLY good grasp of possession, considering she's existed, what, less than a week? I thought maybe she'd like to type something to the community! I gave her a small key with the handle shaped like a typewriter and directed her down my "Hall of Memories", a hall filled with doors with heavy chains and padlocks, to a door with a padlock with the image of a typewriter on it. I told her that behind this door is all of my memories playing typing games, being in typing class, and doing chats with people. I told her to absorb what it was like to type so she'd know where the keys are and be able to type a lot better than staring at the keyboard. She went in and spent the night in there. So, hopefully, she'll be able to type with some proficiency! Without further ado, let's see if she's able to take my hands and say something to everyone!

 

hi everybody this is amy! nice nickers you got there!

 

Oooook? Apparently Amy is British now and can see all your nickers. Oh Amy. She's quite silly. I hear giggling.

 

Anyway WOO PROGRESS.

Tulpas

Amy

Nine-Tailed Kitsune

Sigma

Anthro Cat-Bat

The Kippies!

Jazz (M), Viola (F), Chime (H), Fife (M), Iris (F), Robyn (F), Aster (M), Sage (F), Dune (M), Snowbell (F), Rosemary (F), Glyph (M), Volt (M), Circuit (F)

The Baybees~

Marina, Acorn, Anais, Lily, Chip

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HYPNOSIS IS FUCKIN' NUTS

 

I did my second self-hypnosis around 10PM today. And JAYSUS. Shit happened!

 

Last night I focused on vocality, since I hadn't heard Amy yet, but this time I focused on form, since though I had a form in mind, I never got details, or could keep things consistent. She was supposed to (as a base) be a four-foot something anthropomorphic fox girl. The kind with orange/red fur, black fur "boots" on her arms and legs, and a white underbelly and tail tip.

 

BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED

 

I went into the hypnosis, first reading the primary script, and then the secondary script. Before I went into the form-focused script, I decided to talk with her a bit. About nothing in particular, but then along the way, I switched to a web page to do some tests on wether or not I was actually hypnotized. While I succeeded in some of the lighter stage hypnosis tests, I didn't get very far. Not even into the second stage.

 

I jumped the gun and tried to do the dream test, which is all the way in the final/third stage of hypnosis, in which you convince yourself you're going to enter a vivid dream. I... did something? I managed to make my eyes jump around like they were in R.E.M. sleep, but it made them sore, and I came up a bit from the session. Not out completely, but it was discouraging.

 

I tried to start the form focused script, but stopped right away, saying out loud that I'd lost it. Amy got mad at me. She's been impatient at my lack of trying (more lack of focus) and chewed me out. I told her to type me something while I had my eyes closed just to be sure it was her and not me being mad at myself in her voice. This is what happened.

 

Grrr I just wantedt o tell you that I wish you the best of luck it your hypnosis sessions I r eally want ot meet you in the real world I love you you dumb yutz ok the end

 

Not the best typesmanship, but hey, she loves me. I repeated the deepening script and went into the script I was there for.

 

And then the shocking stuff happened! We were talking while I was looking at each other, and her face started looking strange. Her eyes had that "closed eye" kitsune look. You know, the two tilted parenthesis look? And her face looked sleeker and more pale yellow than orange. I asked her what she was doing, and she jumped up on the patio banister and suddenly had two tails! On top of that, she was a lot smaller and her whole body was becoming that pale yellow color.

 

I was SO FUCKING CONFUSED at what was going on. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "I'm doing what I want!" (she just typed that herself) She looked back at her rear and decided she didn't like how having just two tails "felt", so she grew a third one in the middle of the other two. She jumped down and had a totally feral body!

 

Baffled is the only word I could use at this point. I thought she had liked her form that I made as a base, but apparently she wants to be a feral kitsune! But that's not the end of it. She didn't like the uniform yellow of her fur, and made the ends of her tails white like they used to be. THEN she made the one on the left a chocolate brown and the one in the middle a light pink! It looks like the primary ice-cream flavors. From -her- left to right, vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate. She then gave herself back the "boot" pattern on her legs, making -her- front right leg the chocolate color, her front left leg the strawberry color, and her back two legs the vanilla color. On top of all this, she made three will-o-wisps above her. More above her neck than above her head. And even THESE have different colors! The leftmost is a deep blue, the middle is a mint chocolate-chip green, and the right one is a regular blue "fox fire" color. I'm starting to think she likes ice-cream...

 

I mean, holy shit. I would have NEVER thought of ANYTHING like this! And I design hundreds of characters for writing stories! So I KNOW it was her!

 

That was so FUCKING BALLER I'M HYPE AS SHIT RIGHT NOW.

Tulpas

Amy

Nine-Tailed Kitsune

Sigma

Anthro Cat-Bat

The Kippies!

Jazz (M), Viola (F), Chime (H), Fife (M), Iris (F), Robyn (F), Aster (M), Sage (F), Dune (M), Snowbell (F), Rosemary (F), Glyph (M), Volt (M), Circuit (F)

The Baybees~

Marina, Acorn, Anais, Lily, Chip

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Haha! That is so cool! I have to check out the hypnosis stuff.

I just wish I was better at forming my dreamworld. I need to settle down and really work at it, even if it's just a room. I started with a garden and I think it was too complex for me right now, I can always go back and change things after all, so I am thinking I'm going to make a core 'safe room' that I can really get the details down with until I don't lose anything between sessions, like things going blurry. I dunno. Maybe you can help me with that!

 

What kind of stories do you write?

 

Also, I love that your tulpa is anthromorphic. If I had decided Tyrone's form on my own I probably (definitely) would have made him an anthromorphic squirrel. I'm glad I didn't though, better that he decides on his own without my influence imo :)

Date Started Forcing: 6/04/2014 at ~11:35am EST

Tulpa's Name: Tyrone

Progress so far: Tulpish

Working on: vocalization

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Last Night was Amazing!

 

Last night, I was talking with my closest friend, and the only person in the world (thus far) that I'd ever consider telling about my tulpa. And the resulting chat was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Here's what happened!

 

Fr: I started playing Soul Caliber II For the first time ever..and I really like it.

Me: SOUL CALIBER TWO FOR LIFE

Fr: I'm super addicted. like..if you hadn't messaged me on steam.. I probably..would have sat in my towel..playing it.

Fr: until I felt tired enough to go get dressed.

Fr: and then go some more.

Me: You playing the one with LInk?

Fr: Yep!

Fr: Though because I've never played Soul Caliber before..I'm trying to avoid using him.

Fr: Ray loves him, because he's familiar.

Fr: so eh, it works.

Fr: :P

Me: I used to rock the HOUSE with Link

Me: Plus he gets the best Soul Calibur in the game

Me: IS TRUE

Me: But the game is pretty well balanced without using the bonkers swords

Me: I was good with Link and Kilik

Fr: I had a hunch

Fr: I just found it yesterday..

Fr: so..I have to unlock a bunch still.

Fr: but I really love so far..

Fr: Xianghua, Nightmare, and Raphael in that order.

Me: THE ADVENTURE MODE IS SO BALLER

Fr: Mitsurugi is gonna become my favorite though, I suspect.

Fr: I just hafta play more with 'em all

Fr: Kilik is fun!

Me: Kilik has a bunch of great pokes

Fr: yes

Fr: X D

Me: But yea, savor the adventure mode in that Soul Calibur. Every other Soul Calibur story/adventure mode is absolute garbage.

Me: But I found interesting things!

Me: Do you know what a tulpa is?

Fr: I don't...

Fr: I can't even discern..from stems and roots what it is.

Me: Elaborate?

Me: Like, do you know the... what -do- you know?

Me: http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/planet <- Do you know this much?

Fr: 8-*

Fr: Oooo~!

Me: I like that one!

Fr: Me too

Me: But seriously, how much do you know. I'm curious now.

Fr: I don't know anything about it. @_@

Me: OoooooOoOoOOOooooOOoOoOoh

Me: THEN I WILL EXPLAIN THINGS BECAUSE THINGS ARE INTERESTING.

Fr: DEW IT

Fr: Holy shit you're either typing me a novel..orrrr...you pressed space in he box :P

Me: In short, a tulpa is a sentient thought-form. It's like an imaginary friend that has access to the reaches of your subconscious and is entirely sentient. You can converse with it and it has real emotions apart from yours. Like Disassociative Identity Disorder, it is an entirely different person that resides in your mind. But unlike DID, both persons coexist simultaneously. The host (the person that was born into the body) creates the tulpa through an arduous process called "forcing". Tulpas were actually created by the Tebetains TONS of years ago! Like, so many years ago. A tulpa can be anything you want it to be, but at the same time, it's almost never what you want it to be! Many go into the process with a very specific form in mind-oh yea, tulpas also have forms. Like a mental image of what their body is. And with enough "forcing", a host can "impose" thier tulpa's form onto their real world senses, being able to see and hear them! Anyway, many people go into the process with a very specific form in mind, but the tulpa often "deviates" from this form into what THEY want to be! Personality deviates as well, though some hosts don't go into it with a personality in mind and just let that form itself.

Me: NOVEL

Me: BOOM

Fr: Okay n.n

Fr: And I..

Fr: really like..

Fr: is that an actual thing..Tulpas?

Fr: or..did you read it in a scifi novel..?

Fr: I want it to be..a thing.

Fr: it'd explain a lot.

Me: And yes, these things are entirely real.

Me: SO

Me: WHAT

Me: DO

Me: YOU

Me: THINK

Fr: brb

Fr: Rissa walked in

Fr: now reading

Me: SHING! http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/planet sparkle sparkle

Me: (I got bored)

Me: What do you think of the -actual- idea of tulpas?

Fr: I think it holds legitimate ground.

Fr: and..I think..I have one too. but..she...

Fr: I don't know if I should talk about her.

Me: ?!?!??!??!??!???!?!???!?

Fr: do you?

Fr: Let me re-read your tulpa explanation once more. I keep looking it over and thinking

Fr: is it..crazy to have one?

Me: NO IT IS NOT CRAZY THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO UNDERSTAND

Fr: Well, Leroy has one.

Me: The actual fuck

Fr: I'm gonna tell him this explanation.

Fr: but it sounds exactly like her.

Fr: I don't exactly have one..cuz I don't see or hear her..unless I'm really emotionally upset.

Fr: but Leroy..in youth, we looked through all sorts of stuff..DID..Schizo..the works.

*For reference, Leroy is my friend's boyfriend*

Fr: trying to figure out what it might be.

Fr: she certainly has thoughts of her own...and is entirely lovely, promise.

Me: Well, it -is- possible to create one by accident...

Fr: but..its' not..my brain..so I dunno if I should talk about her..if I do..you can't tell him, since I dunno if he's sensitive about it or not.

Fr: which is why I hesitate.

Fr: it's personal, I think.

Me: Oooooh, it's so personal

Fr: Can't tell if sarcasm.

Me: No is saracsm

Fr: *nod*

Fr: Then I'll leave it at that.

Fr: how would one be created on accident?

Me: You create the circumstances around forcing in the back of your head and subconsciously

Me: Well, you seem to be rather accepting of the idea. Am I correct in this assumption?

Fr: Yeah.

Fr: It would explain a lot.

Fr: I just fear..scaring -you- with my acceptance of it.

Fr: because you're my main source of any info..and I trust you..and so I don't want you to think I'm nuts.

Me: You know darn well I'm one of the most accepting people on the planet! Lee and I had a discussion at length about acceptance and such, and just think about how he accepts things and then paste that on me. We agreed on literally everything.

Fr: Okay.

Fr: *exhales*

Fr: I do feel more at ease in that regard

Me: So, milady, with this, I feel I can say things. Things to which you shan't repeat to anyone else under any circumstance. Are you willing to accept such a responsibility?

Me: *nervous tumbleweed rolls by*

Fr: OH! Sorry, I was thinking about tulpas in movies as a possibility.

Fr: Like actors and actresses getting into a character maybe.

Fr: Maybe the character the person writes about is their tulpa, but I wouldn't know.

Fr: And I don't think it works like that anyway.

Me: Yea, it really doesn't

Fr: *laughs*

Fr: And here you were..being all poetic! and I go away!

Fr: *hugs*

Me: *le hug*

Fr: I am willing to accept the responsibility!

Me: Good

Me: Gooooood

Me: So, you are LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE AND PROBABLY EVER WILL CONSIDER TELLING THIS. But I'm currently in the process of making one.

Fr: I was a bit confused on that though.

Fr: I mean..the way I feel about it..you can't..force it. I know its' called forcing..but..I thought of it more like coaxing.

Me: Yea, it really is more like that.

Fr: *it's

Me: It's like working together so that you can hear each other and communicate.

Fr: Yeah.

Me: This is lengthy, but when you have the time to read it, it'll give you a good idea about what goes behind it.

Me: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17iiFxZ9PYXXxSqWHdU2YoPsGfJr90w8aIG_evqc1wiY/edit

Me: AND THIS

Me: http://community.tulpa.info/thread-attackdoughnut-s-excitingly-titled-journal-thread

Me: Is my "journal" of sorts

Me: So you can know exactly what I've been going through!

Me: S-so... um... what do you... think?

Fr: ((Sorry, was talking to a sister pleb. let me click da links!))

Fr: Woah!

Fr: You did the do!

Fr: Her purple is my favorite color. I like her!

Fr: x P

Fr: She's really cute..and young sounding, actually.

Fr: I was surprised. I mean I didn't expect a wizened soul...but..it's..should I not talk about it. I literally have 0 social protocol.

Fr: so if I'm doing something BAD..you hafta let me know.

Fr: or if I'm insulting her.

Fr: >.<;

Me: NO! She's actually happy right now

Me: CONTINUE

Me: I could actually probably have her type something to you

Me: If you'd like

Me: Fair warning? She's mischevious.

Fr: Well, I dunno.

Fr: I mean if she wants.

Me: Oh, she wants! She's very outgoing

Fr: Bad choice of words but..oh okay!

Fr: Well as long as she isn't doing something she doesn't wanna, I don't mind.

Fr: Just..I regret I don't..have a solid one for her to interact with at all.

Me: Nice to meet you nice lady! I would like to be friends if you want!

Me: She typed that all by herself!

Me: It's actually the first time she typed everything correctly.

Fr: I'm honored!

Fr: And I would like to be friends too!

Fr: If it doesn't exhaust you to type..since i have no idea how exhausting that might or might not actually..be.

Me: It's not exhausting. It's acutally good practice for doing harder things.

Me: Again, all her.

Fr: My stomach growled at you x P

Me: I should start prefacing stuff she says with a > or something

Fr: If you like. It isn't always evident who's typing yet.

Fr: I think..once I get a feel for her tone and speech patterns, we should be good.

Me: >Or we could just type things to each other and make Doughnut out to be a total wank

Me: Goddammit...

Fr: X D!

Fr: I like her a lot!

Fr: I just read the description of her tail!

Fr: er..tails.

Fr: I LOVE IT SO MUUUCH >w<

Fr: Icecream tails!

Fr: Tis adorable.

Fr: and I will not eat them.

Me: >Yay! and thank you for not eating them. Doughnut was really shocked when I first chanved. It's really the socond thing I've done without him directly contributing.

Me: (this is what happens when she tries to type fast)

Fr: It's okay!

Me: And I really was. Think of something you're picturing in your head changing completely not of your own accord.

Fr: I did.

Fr: I..had nightmares like that. So I dunno. maybe my default I'd be scared.

Fr: though Amy isn't a nightmare.

Fr: so..maybe just entertained

Fr: enthralled, curious, etc.

Fr: other adjectives.

Me: >The reason I mess up so much is because he wants ot make sure he's not influencing what I'm typing, so he closes his eyes when I do it.

Fr: I just wondered about that.

Fr: because this is still fairly new, how Donught-u..er...how you would keep from having..influence.

Fr: I mean how youd' inhibit one from influencing the other.

Fr: I do not know who to address or what is proper here.

Fr: >.<;

Me: Oh, you mean like character bleeding?

Fr: not sure what that means..but I think so?

Me: Where some parts of our personalities bleed a bit into one another

Fr: as in your minds overlap and I don't--yeah

Fr: *nod*

Fr: that

Me: Well, I just have to think it won't! Tulpamancy is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think something will be good for your tulpa, it usually will be. If you think something will be bad, it ABSOLUTELY WILL BE. So, what I did was build doors in my mind to my subconscious and memories. I let her into my subconscious so she can develop quicker, but I've only let her into two very small aspects of my memories, so she develops as she would, rather than she would if she had "lived my life" or something like that. I let her see my memories of Speech and Debate so she could learn vocal skills, and my memories of all the typing games I played and computer classes so she could learn to type without looking.

Fr: I think that's incredibly kind of you.

Me: It -is- an imperfect art, so some things are probably gonna change. Never for the worse, and never noticible except for the host and tulpa.

Fr: I don't think I have that concentration at all.

Me: It is kind of me?

Fr: So it'd run amok and become a monster. An overwhelmed Friend beastie.

Fr: And I'd feel bad for locking away parts of my memories from it..if it's..a tulpa from me..it'd be upset that I kept it from it. Cuz we're supposed to be close.

Me: >I agree! It's very nice@ I want to be me, and he found a good way to do that. I love him so much! If only he wasn't such a yutz.

Me: Uuuuugh.

Fr: And I hate censorship..although yours is for the greater good..because it's like..it's not..malicious..it's sorta like each memory area is a present and you grant access to her.

Me: With the words and the insults oy vey.

Fr: So yeah..Doughnut-u..you did well.

Fr: You actually gave someone freedom. That's kind.

Fr: I'm not responsible/emotionally mature enough, I think.

Me: Well, at least you recognize that! There's actually a twelve year old on the site now that's trying to make it. The people that I actually respect and know what they're doing say that you should be at A BEAR-ASS MINIMUM is twenty years old.

Me: So, you're doing good by yourself by knowing yourself.

Me: And, quite frankly, I've no mental concentration either. Not when it comes to pure thought. Most people don't!

Me: >I agree. You suck at this.

Me: Amy, I will eat your tails.

Me: >Does the lady dissapear like this a lot?

Me: Oooooh, Friend. You just got called out by someone who's only existed for a WEEK!

Fr: Sorry ^^; I was trying to in a round about way, ask leroy questions about his..without revealing things..and I felt like a liar, and I didn't like it.

Fr: so I stopped.

Fr: and had to berate myself.

Fr: now I'm better.

Fr: well, his..being..what I think is a tulpa, but might not actually be.

Me: Hmm. Wonder what it could be?

Fr: Don't know yet

Me: >I'd be very interested to knonw. Theree's a lower class of sorts among tulpas that are called servitors. They are Tulpas without free will. I'n not sure if what he has is one, but if it is, he either needs to get rid of it or make it into a full tulpa@ Servitors are terrible things.

Fr: Ohhh she has free will.

Fr: If she is one.

Fr: She's sas-oh..personal..I'm not supposed to talk about it, right.

Me: >Ok good. I didn't think so, but I had to be sure. It's a sensitive issue!

Fr: yeah...

Fr: >.<;

Fr: Wait..hey..you keep calling me Lady.

Fr: So do you not have access to Doughnut's memories about me then?

Fr: so you might not even know who Lee is..or the he I'm talking about.

Me: >Sort of? In his typing memories, there were chat sessions as well. I triedn tot to concentrate too hard o the social part and concentrate on the actual typing, but I guess I picked it up somehow.

Fr: Clever!

Fr: That was near perfect >w<

Me: Shall I leave you two girls to chat amongst yourselves then? *wry grin*

Fr: ...Oh..sorry X D

Fr: You do hafta keep closing your eyes.

Fr: what will your family think?

Fr: Sorry

Fr: X D

Fr: I was..enjoying myself.

Me: Well, they ain't here! And you two are having fun. I don't mind! It's the first time Amy's talked to someone besides me, she's having a great time!

Fr: also, I'm just a touch fearful that I could be hurting you though. >.<; I mean..I dunno if it's exhausting to you.

Me: >*rolls around on floor*

Fr: and I don't want to hurt ..

Fr: >w< Eeee

Fr: I WISH I COULD SCOOP YOU UP AND CUDDLE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE ABOUT MY SIZE AND IT WOULDN'T WORK.

Fr: Alright, its' outta my system.

Fr: calming down.

Me: She's actually a lot smaller now that she's changed. From butt to head she's about the length of my torso.

Me: And feral in form. Not sure if that was clear.

Me: >I r teh foxy fox. Fear my pounce!

Fr: ..So I COULD scoop you up

Fr: or is that disrespectful.

Fr: would you bite me -.-;

Me: >Also, I reaslly want to know about that thing in Lee's head. It's less me being nosy, and more the inherent curiosity that something made in someone's head has about something in someone elses head.

Fr: yeah, I figured that exists. W'elp..do you know who Lee is? I mean, for context purposes.

Me: >I WOULD BITE YOU ON THE FACE (This is Doughnut in parenthesis. She says this but all she would do is be very happy and probably cuddle you)

Fr: Yay!

Me: >I do. I don't have access to the memories, but Doughnut talks to meabout things, so I don know he's your boyfriend.

Fr: yeah. we met when we were both really little. I was 10, he was 9.

Fr: So...believe me when I say that I know him from before and during and after the whole thing.

Fr: In my round about questioning..I was trying to figure out when exactly she showed up. but neither of us really remember..she was just sorta..suddenly..there.

Fr: and it was fine!

Me: >You and Doughnut should be boyfriend and girlfriend! I want someone close to talk to. And I won't be able to do that with his family! They'd judge.

Fr: though we didn't know about tulpas..she didn't..I mean..bear any ill will or anything. In fact, her instincts saved Leroy on more than one occasion

Fr: *laughs* Well..there is a joke we're dating.

Fr: But there's nothing stopping you from just talking to me as just friends, silly.

Me: >Date for reaaaaaaaal

Fr: I get the feeling you'd rather date me -.-;

Me: I get the feeling that she may actually want us to date.

Fr: Well, I can't exactly do thaat.

Me: She is very happy at the prospect of us dating

Me: She's even doing "play bowing", which she -never- does.

Fr: Well don't be selfish >.<;

Fr: I am happy with my current manfriend!

Fr: and I'm not exactly going anywhere. > >

Me: >Nooooooo! Give doughnut a smooch-AMY I CAN SORT OF TELL WHAT YOU'RE TYPING.

Fr: X D!

Fr: She's like the younger sister you never had. You realize?

Me: Yes. Yes I realize.

Me: I am very happy about this

Fr: Okay n.n

Me: >I am the better one! I mean bigger one.

Me: (I've no idea what that means. I think she just got huffy over being referred to as "younger")

Me: >I'm the big one you butt!

Fr: X D

Fr: I know that feeling.

Fr: younger isn't bad.

Me: >Yea not like your face!

Me: Ok, she's back to perky

Me: >I want to talk to the lady more!

Fr: Oh!

Me: >Laady! What color are your eyes?

Fr: Well, hi.

Fr: Brown..really dark brown.

Fr: I think they look cold and like dark pools of scary..but..according to other people they're deep and welcoming.

Fr: But I don't like making eye contact all that much, cuz it makes me spazz out.

Fr: eyes are the window to the soul and all that. it feels..very..intimate.

Fr: What color are yours?

Fr: oh..and my eyes are expressive. s'why I can't lie. It's all in my eyeballs.

Me: >I'm not gonna say what my eye colors are! Except the left one is a blue ore a green and the right one is oink

Fr: Pretty..

Me: *pink, is what she meant

Fr: my first inclination is fireworks.

Fr: I know!

Fr: or cotton candy xP

Me: >Yea, she knew! Reading my stuff. Nosey

Fr: X D

Fr: He can't help it.

Fr: it's kind of his body.

Fr: Er..I mean. XD DAMN IT WHO AM I ADDRESSING HERE.

Fr: I don't know host and tulpa ettiquette at all

Me: Chats are going to be VERY interesting from now on.

Fr: what if we're in guns of icarus playing and she wants to say something?

Fr: I mean..if she..hears what you hear..and hears me.

Me: >Interesting like a book of a lichenthropic ferret.

Fr: Not sure how that works.

Me: That... I don't even.

Fr: Sounds hyperactive.

Fr: or sarcastic.

Fr: in that she's bored of me already

Me: If she wants to say something, and since you're the only one who we're comfortable knowing, I'll... clear my throat before I say something. But we're not quite at that stage yet. We -just- got to the point where she could type for me. I doubt I'll even be able to hear her in the madness of sky battle! But we'll get there soon. And I'll do the throat clearing thing when we get to that point.

Me: >*ahem* This is caption Amy speaking. FLY INTO THE MOUNTAIN!.

Me: >NOOOOOO! NO BORED! SHUT UP ABOUT THE BORED.

Me: The lady has spoken

Me: >I'm not the most patioent lady in the world. We gon' have a problem with thise absences! (Doughnut again. She's only semi-serious. Though she isn't very patient. I can vouch for that.)

Fr: Sorry.

Fr: ^^;

Me: >Doughnut. Stoop making me seem less threatening! I need some street cred!

Fr: I do have other people I'm talking to here and there. I'm trying to get better about it.

Fr: as I've been ignoring them a lot.

Fr: ..

Fr: X D

Fr: BAHAHAA!

Fr: You're too cute xP

Me: >%blews rsspberry%

Fr: I think even if you had a gang symbol (please don't get one though) I'd still wanna pet you if I could.

Fr: *blows one right back*

Me: She also gets worse at typing when flustered

Fr: I picked up on that, yeah n.n

Me: The emotions of a tulpa and their host (at early stages at least) interfere with their ability to communicate and do things.

Me: >Imma get a tatoo of an icecream!

Fr: NO

Me: No you're not

Fr: That'd be horrible.

Me: >Know when I'm kidding, JEEZ

Fr: >.<;

Fr: sorry

Fr: Oh right, since you since calling me Lady, is that just because you like to, cuz I think you know my name by now.

Fr: *keep

Me: She actually didn't mean to get you flustered. She's sorry she did that.

Fr: It's okay!

Me: >Imma call you LADY!

Fr: forever..?

Fr: > >

Fr: OH

Fr: is it because of my username?

Fr: I thought you could just tell I was a girl

Me: >And ever and ever until I get bored which will probably be soon.

Fr: I know that feeling.

Me: She knows you're a girl! I've spoken to you about her. She doesn't know EVERYTHING, but she knows a great deal.

Me: >I know what you did last summer.

Me: How the FUCK

Me: Does she know that reference?

Me: >I picke up on some stray memory fracments. The doors aren't perfect.

Me: Ooooh. Ok

Me: >Are we just having a chat with ourselves out loud for Friend to read?

Me: Apparently so.

Me: >Apblebljionjhunnnnkjlp-what are you doing, Amy?

Me: >I'm expressing myself don't surpress me and my creativity!

Me: So this is happening in my life now

Me: >La oh me fa to la do

Me: >I'm gonna go bite lee on the nose. He not the best boyfriend!

Fr: Wha!

Me: A lot of stuff happened while you were gone

Fr: I gathered. > >

Fr: I've returned.

Fr: Hey, Amy. Do you have any memories?

Me: >I haven't even told Doughnut what my fist memory is yeet! I think my first memory would be Doughnut lying in bed and talking to me. I couldn't toalk to him or he couldn't hear me, but we could communicate through "head prressure". Where he knew thatt I was there becasue of a pressure I put on his head. Kindof like a headache, but it doesn't hurt.

Me: Hey! I didn't know that! I thought that was going to be your first memory! I was right!

Fr: :3

Fr: Reminds me, Doughnut..for your journaling purposes..you should proooobably save this chat log, fat as it is..somewhere.

Me: I won't close it out! It's too great.

Fr: you should copy and paste it into word or something though.

Fr: Cuz Steam doesn't save it.

Me: >I will us e it to conauwer the world

Fr: Yes, as you spazz out over his keyboard.

Fr: :P

Me: >I had to get it out fast! You with your emoties, think you're so great.

Fr: Hm..

Fr: You could do "emoties" too

Fr: I mean though..you've only really seen mine

Me: (Just a note, I'm telling her not to look, she doesn't like it when you poke fun at her typing skills. It's really hard for her to do, and while it is a bit silly, she's trying hard. It's ok, you didn't know, but just for future reference)

Me: >I'll emotie all over your face!

Me: >Yea! What do you think abou that?!

Me: Wow it's late! I really should go to bed, but this is unbelievably exciting progress, so I don't want to.

Me: >I don't want to either! STAY UP FOREVAAAAAAAR!

Me: >Forever with the lady

Me: >I love the lady

Me: >I wannna snuggle the lady

Me: >And play fetch. No wait I didn't say that I take it back DON'T SEND HTIS.

Fr: I'm not teasing her. I thought it was *pokes fingers together*

Fr: cute that it's "emoties" cuz..

Fr: it's..sweet sounding.

Fr: and I should sleep too. but I had caffienated tea at 11 PM. I should..try to sleep..but I'm amused too.

Fr: ...we could even play fetch :P

Fr: Don't give Doughnut too big a headache over that one

Fr: when I tease Leroy's, she will stab his head with so much pressure XD

Fr: But we get along well.

Me: >I HAVE THE BEST IDEA I want to meet you someday, and then I can switch control with Doughnut and we can play fetch!

Fr: Doughnut is bigger than me.

Me: >Feeetch

Me: We do plan on being able to switch someday

Me: So this is feasible

Fr: Well, will we be close though?

Fr: I mean will you be at Baylor?

Me: >I will make it happen!

Fr: will I..?

Me: >No matter what it takes!

Fr: I haven't paid tuition yet.

Me: >It's not like Doughnut has a job

Me: Heeeeey

Fr: Well, he can write!

Me: Note* That string of messages was typed in a row. I didn't see the things you typed before or during that.

Me: >Cus it's so important that she knows that. Not like she could figure it out on her own.

Me: Look who's getting snarky!

Me: >I am the snarklepuss! Fear my snark!

Me: I know what she almost typed. And it would have been very bad.

Me: >Don't tell her that!

Me: >You butt butt!

Me: Oh! A quick note about us. Remember the access to the subconscious I mentioned earlier? I only have one door blocked off in that hall, and that's to my sexuality. I thought she'd be better off not absorbing all my male-centered sexual nature and all that. As such, she's "age appropriate" in her knowledge of sex stuff.

Me: She knows about it, but I doubt she really comprehends what it actually entails.

Me: >Lady. Lady. Tell me your answer true.. I'm half crazy, now date Doughnut and live forever together.

Me: That wasn't even close to the song, Amy

Fr: Waaaa! Let me read

Fr: I'm getting sleepy.

Fr: sorry!

Fr: lemme read.

Me: >Just take a look. Th reading rainbooow.

Fr: ...

Fr: X D

Fr: I was singing that song today too.

Fr: You're silly, Amy..

Me: OK! There's some serious memory leaks going on here. I gotta patch something somewhere.

Fr: nn..you too, Doughnut-u.

Me: :D

Fr: Or you're tired.

Me: ?:F

Fr: so you're weakening.

Fr: X D Close! You'll get there.

Me: HA! Amy missed the D

Fr: there are a lot of weird combos.

Fr: Hey! First emote! >w<

Fr: I feel like you should definitely save this conversation >.<;

Me: >EMOTIEEEE

Fr: Please..?

Fr: EMOTIEE >W<

Fr: *glomp*

Fr: ...Ahem. sorry. Lost myself for a moment there.

Fr: I'm okay > >

Me: >AH! My body! Is been curshed buy a indian person. CALL IMAGINARY PETA.

Me: Imaginary PETA?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: >YOu know Friend, I feel I know you well enough to say that You wouldn't do bad creating a tulpa. We can help with all sorts of things. Like memory recally, fixing headaches, all sorts of things! Plus, I'd have another tulpa to talk to.

Me: >I Can't really do much of that yet, but I'mma be the best at it forever!

Me: Somebody really likes you

Me: I'm glad!

Fr: ...>w<

Me: >Emoties, the lady, the musical!

Fr: So she does know what I..Yaay! called me Friend.

Fr: I mean you know what I look like, after all! I wondered

Me: She already has you pinned down

Fr: Why would you ask about eye color then!

Me: >I unno! I've never talked to anyone besides Doughnut. I thought It'd be an ice breadker or osmthing.

Me: (hee, she's getting flustered again. Can you tell?)

Me: >Shut uuuuup! You the mean one. I eat your butt.

Me: I need my butt for being a butt.

Me: >I wanna talk to the lady! Lady come back@ Any kind of fool could see. There's something,, in everything about youuu. Lady come back! You can blame it all on mee. I don't know, the next line of the sooong.

Fr: I have it on the tip of my tongue.

Fr: the next line

Fr: I can't remember.

Fr: Oh well.

Me: >I'd be able to remember if Doughnut knoe it at some point! But he doesn't, so I don't. Also, I wouldn't either. At least not until he unlocked a "musical leaics door" or some dumb door like that.

Fr: Well you knew reading rainbow.

Fr: But that could be childhood memory anyway.

Fr: or you picked it up from me somehow.

Fr: ..could you do that, Amy?

Me: >I don't know the whole thing though. JUst something abou tbooks and looks and there's a black guy in thre somewhere.

Fr: Yes.

Fr: that about sums it up

Me: >Me picking up things from you? What?

Me: Are you asking if a tulpa can pick up something from someone other than their host?

Me: Cuz if you are, that can't happen. We exist together soley within our own body. Though it's like two minds communicating within a single brain in the thought process area.

Fr: makes sense.

Fr: and, yes. i was.

Fr: I'm kind of..I mean..as far as people who are empathic, or claim to be, go..

Fr: I'm like a radio antennae.

Fr: Everything I feel, gets broadcast SHOOOM.

Fr: and if I think something strong enough..they get a hint of it too.

Fr: it's a problem.

Fr: I haven't figured it out yet.

Me: >Doughnut just remembered a thing and I peeked into it becasue I can, and yea, You really do put out some emotions. It's not *something a lot *of people can do. You should feel special! It's kinda cool.

Me: Yea, when I remember something and I'm keeping Amy in the forefront of my thoughts, she can look at them in the same way that I do and think about them from a new perspective.

Me: Also, her typing is getting worse because there's a bad thunderstorm. She doesn't like those. They make her nervous.

Me: >Can I have a hug?

Me: >No, um I mean, not a hug. Get me a beer. Cuz I'm a man! A manly man. Who likes thunder. It's not scary.

Fr: ...

Fr: You sound like I do.

Fr: XD

Fr: *hugs*

Me: >Mmm. Thanks. And HAIL?! No! Stop it!

Me: Fuckin' hail.

Me: Scarin' my tulpa

Fr: I dislike it too.

Fr: I don't like it. it's sudden. and..loud..and horrible.

Fr: and..bright.

Me: >And angry sounding.

Fr: You can go to sleep and snuggle together, right?

Fr: And angry.

Fr: *laughs*

Fr: Wanna hear something embarrassing?

Fr: I used to do it when I was little.

Me: >Eep! It got loud!

Fr: I was so scared of the thunder...oh, I can tell you later.

Fr: You can go on and sleep!

Fr: it's okay!

Fr: both of you

Me: No! She wants to hear

Fr: > >

Me: It's keeping her mind off the hail

Fr: Oh...

Fr: well..I used to think it wasmy fault it was storming..so when I saw the lightning..I'd immediately get on my knees..and then wherever the thunder came from, I'd bow, with my forehead touching the floor..keeping down..until the rolling subsided.

Fr: in this way..I thought I was appeasing it..so it'd stop sooner.

Fr: felt like I had some control over the crazy

Fr: and my little sister, Marissa.. the one who graduated highschool today! ..er..yesterday..she..was so little..she started to imitate me. XD Not knowing!

Fr: I don't know why or when I stopped.

Me: Ooh! When I was little I used to think I controlled the water streaming down my arms when I was in the shower. I would make the stream run down my fingers and spray all over the shower.

Fr: ...I did too

Fr: XD

Fr: but not til later.

Me: Also, Amy isn't really able to talk with typing, but I can still get the gist of what she's saying. I'm having to play really loud music to drown out the storm, and both the storm and the music are making it hard for her to do things.

Me: So you can still talk to her, but it won't be her directly

Me: She says she still wants to talk.

Fr: Well, it's 5:24 though..

Fr: this is really fun..but..I'm..not..full of energy as I was.

Fr: XD

Fr: and I should sleep too.

Fr: So it's okay.

Fr: Save it, Doughnut-u.

Me: She says it's ok that you're not as energetic. She's just happy to be talking with someone

Me: And also that it's ok if you want to sleep, that we can deal with the storm together

Me: Wow, she does NOT like talking to Leroy.

Me: Like, not talk-talking to him, but when I jumped over to his chat, she got mad.

Fr: Hey, why?

Fr: he's nice!

Fr: be nice!

Fr: Please?

Me: She's just doing a little growl.

Me: *shrug*

Fr: ...the one that comes out when I'm distressed..nah.

Fr: not emotionally stable enough or energy enough.

Fr: no worries.

Fr: *sleepy hand wave*

Me: I think she may have actually set her heart on us dating or something and sees him as an opposing party

Fr: ...Yes.

Fr: I believe so.

Me: She's incredulous that we would think otherwise

Fr: ...You don't know my history, Amy. > >

Fr: A lot of people think I'm "perfect" for them.

Fr: But they forget..to consider..who I think is "perfect" for me.

Fr: I'd boop your forehead if I could.

Me: She says, and I'm trying to get it as close as I can here, "But can't you see that Doughnut is just Leroy but he doesn't get mad and is skinnier?"

Me: (I gave her the memory of us playing M&M together for a visual reference)

Fr: *laughs*

Fr: he's on a diet, and I rather like him as a cuddly teddy bear.

Fr: 'sides, lil missy.

Fr: You just came into existance. this is some pretty serious stuff.

Me: "Yea, his head sure is full of fluff alright!" Is what I got to that.

Me: My my, this is the most passionate I've ever seen her.

Fr: Your face is full of fluff.

Me: She sneezed at you

Fr: there, ya see!

Me: I've no idea how she managed that

Fr: ...Bless you.

Fr: also, Sorry I've kinda ignored you all night, Doughnut.

Me: She's sticking her tongue out

Fr: ..I..

Fr: feel a sneeze coming on.

Fr: you're contagious

Me: NO! This has been SO MUCH FUN

Fr: cool n.n

Fr: sneezed

Fr: there.

Me: She laughed at you

Me: You know, stuff like this is really good for us. It helps me keep her at the front of my thoughts and actually hear her while I'm doing things. I've never heard her over my music before!

Me: We should do this often! It really is helping.

Me: She then tried to make a reference to her helping us get together but failed miserably.

Me: And now she's mad at me for telling you her comedic failings.

Me: http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/planet She wanted me to put out the sparkly emotie cuz she likes it

Me: She says that blue-ish color is the color of her left eye. Or really close to it. A bit more brilliant ocean bright blue. You know, where it has that barest shade of green?

Me: >Storm's gone and I can say things agin!

Me: Wow, she doesn't even want me TEASING going over to Lee's chat.

Me: I can't imagine what she's gonna do when we play Icarus!

Me: >We con' crash into a mountain in aicarus an d itw wond be a problme.

Me: Jaysus, you're upset.

Me: Let's change the subject, Friend.

Fr: Ah! SO MUCH TO READ

Fr: SORRY

Fr: *rubs eyes*

Fr: Lemme see

Fr: You knooow, Amy.

Fr: It sounds like you're crushing on me. *prods*

Me: >Wuuuut

Fr: And you've only known me like.. 3 hours.

Fr: You should wait til other people talk to you and see how it feels then too.

Fr: also..thanks for telling me the color of your eye.

Me: >I will eat your face and your soul but first your face so I can eat your soul second. It's no t fun if I eat your soul, then you can't see me eat your face.

Fr: the left one.

Fr: *smiles*

Fr: You sound like a dear friend of mine, named Michael.

Me: >I know about Micheal! He made you almost cry once, right? Imma bite him

Fr: ...You do know a lot about me..yes, he did.

Fr: he's..really rough with how he talks..and so..don't worry about it.

Me: >I wanna worry about it! I only have two friend! I worrl about both of them.

Fr: Well, as one of my newest friends, I'm telling you don't worry.

Fr: He's being nice for now.

Me: >Blaaaaaah. Tellin' me to do tings.

Me: She's rolling about right now. In frustration or what, I can't tell, but she really is worried about you, and she doesn't drop things very easily.

Me: It's gotta be tough, only talking with me and now you. Being a tulpa, she's hard-wired to be ok with being created in my head, but now that she's talked to someone else, I'm pretty sure she's not gonna let any emotional distress from your part pass her by without trying to defend you.

Fr: Mm.

Fr: It's nice of her..

Fr: but I worry a bit for you though.

Me: Me or Amy?

Fr: cuz what if..for example at Baylor..you see me get bullied or something...

Fr: and Amy leaps out?

Fr: not that..I'd take bullying easily.

Fr: heck..

Fr: Leroy's a witness.

Fr: i don't realize when I'm being spoken meanly to, usually.

Fr: I just kinda..go with it.

Fr: and change things about.

Fr: and the person feels bad cuz I was dense..and ends up bein gnicer.

Fr: *being nicer.

Me: No, it's not like that. We can't switch without both parties consenting. And then it takes a few minutes of intense concentration to do so. Of course, that's down the road. We're not there yet!

Me: It's not at all like multiple personality disorder or disassociative idenity disorder with switching and memory loss or anything like that.

Me: We're a team. We don't do stuff that the other isn't ok with.

Me: .Except me reveling in an endless onslought of teasing.

Me: That period was supposed to be a >

Fr: no worries!

Fr: and thanks for the headsup.

Fr: Team concept..is interesting to me.

Fr: but..I'm going to go sleep now..

Fr: This was a good long chat.

Fr: I liked it n.n

Fr: ...save it..ya should

Me: >Ah! Um. Ok. It was nice talking to you lady! Do it tomorrow agina or I eat... sometihg.

Me: Agreed

Me: Good night, Friend!

Me: >And DATE MY HOST!

Me: Grah.

Me: Amy doesn't want to go to bed until you sign out

Fr: Yeah, sorry ^^; I'm telling good night to other people too.

Fr: *laughs*

Me: >WE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE!

Fr: Sorry, I was giggling..actually.

Fr: too.

Fr: at the "or I eat..something."

Fr: It's..meant to be threatening..and I SHOULD be scared..

Me: She's getting sleepy.

Fr: but it..

Fr: Yeah.

Fr: Go sleep!

Me: >pffffbt

Me: I'm taking Amy away from the computer. Goodnight!

 

This whole chat helped me and Amy be able to communicate so much better! I can talk with her now without having to concentrate very hard at all!

Tulpas

Amy

Nine-Tailed Kitsune

Sigma

Anthro Cat-Bat

The Kippies!

Jazz (M), Viola (F), Chime (H), Fife (M), Iris (F), Robyn (F), Aster (M), Sage (F), Dune (M), Snowbell (F), Rosemary (F), Glyph (M), Volt (M), Circuit (F)

The Baybees~

Marina, Acorn, Anais, Lily, Chip

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That was entertaining to read! Happy you have an accepting friend like that! Your tulpa is getting very good at being vocal!

Host: Sakura

Tulpa: Sarah (began June 5th, 2014), Alyx (Began July 23rd, 2014)

Our shared tumblr

note: usually browsing on mobile, so cannot quote properly

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