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Beary's Banana Tulpae Surprise


bearycool

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The below has been written over the course of around 10 days.

 

---

 

Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve decided to create a tupla. You have all persuaded me with your stories on the creation of one, and before I start I would like to give a brief anecdote on myself (cause, you know, my narcissism of myself is quite high!).

 

My name is Josef (not to be confused with Josef Stalin). I am an average 17 year boy who has a vast social network of friends and family. I go out and do things that resonate with my heart: sometimes it’s drawing, worshipping at church, writing, or playing and listening to music. And it’s because of this resonance that I’m creating a tupla to share this with.

 

I have a concrete idea of the form of my tupla and have drawn him (yes, he’s a dude) out. however, at the moment I see him as a blue humanoid entity that has no face at the moment. I do this because I want to shape him organically and let him have some freedom in his inception. Since he is a sentient being, he must be given some choices with what he has. However, I will probably visualize him as the form that I’ve drawn.

 

Here are his traits that I’m thinking of and who he is.

 

Name:Stan (woohoo, generic name for the fucking century!) [this was placed later]

Age: 20-30(?)

Form: Right now a blue humanoid, but he’s switching between that, a faun dude, and a orb of light as of late.

1. he is strong physically and mentally. He looks rough and tumble.

2. Nevertheless, he is gentle and sweet. He is not a brute; his strength is just his outward appearance of that affection.

3. He’s hilarious to talk to, yet he can be very deep when he wants to. If you ever talk to him, you’ll never be bored with his word.

4. He does not judge

5. He is very verbose, and is rarely terse.

6. He makes raunchy jokes.

7. He is enthralled by music. As I’ve been thinking about him and creating him, I felt, deep down, that he had a wild passion for music.

8. Loves nature. So much so that one might think that he smells like it.

9. The form in my mind at the moment that I want him to be shaped into is a faun. But that’s up to him.

10. He also loves to write and draw. He is also very active in anything.

11. Has a mild form of ADD.

12. Very confident in who he is.

13. He loves anyone who he cares for.

14. He does things differently than me. If I was to think of him in the future, I say he would be a guy who wonders and does his own fun little thing unless I’m talking to him and joking with him.

 

So that’s what I have in mind for my tupla. At the time of this writing he has no name [well, that changed...]; I want him to give himself one when the time is right. He also has as much free will as I do, and I will just do parts of him that I deem are needed like a parent trying to make the best for their child.

 

---

 

Day 1:

 

Since I can’t post on the forums yet because of a restriction (I blame the swedes), I will just type out in a google docs for the first three days on what Stan and I have been doing... That’s right, folks, I have named my tulpa. And yes, he has a sexy generic name as well! The name will probably change as we go along-- since he is a sentient being and beings like that do that shit-- but at the moment I have called him Stan.

 

I have done my first tulpaforce (shit was pretty cash, yo). I basically created a simple wonderland which was slightly like my room but with less furniture. There was my bed, a small coffee table, and a sexy TV. I sat on my bed lotus style with my tulpa on the other side in the same position. He was his same weird ethereal self with the white orb in the middle.

 

Once comfortable, I started to talk to Stan, mentally and vocally, and tell him of his traits. I then symbolized these traits into orbs with color, in which I placed into his white sphere, or heart if you want to think it like that. Now I couldn’t see any of this through my normal eyes, which were closed through most of the duration, and I only saw this vaguely through my mind’s eye. During the entire process, I kept switching from first person to third person and saw weird lights flashing about like some wild rave was going on in the wonderland-- for all I know, maybe one was going on.

 

His form also kept changing from the weird blue humanoid thingy, to the one that I’ve drew and thought of. He also appeared to move his hands a bit without my consent, but I don’t know if that was just me... After all of this, I opened my eyes and saw a light white smoke where Stan would’ve been.

 

When this was all done, I started to narrate to Stan until I went to bed. I had a lucid dream, but for some reason I just didn’t want to do shit there. I woke up, and now I’m in school; I’m in my journalism class typing this out.

 

Summary:

Recognition of form

Creation of the Vonderlende (Wonderland)

Understanding of his sentience

Beginning of narration

Practicing on focusing until my eyes bleed~!

 

Day 2:

 

I’ve been narrating to Stan for a good duration of each class and I’ve just told him how each class worked and how I thought of the people around me. I have an empty chair right next to me and I’m imposing on that empty space while narrating to him.

 

I will do day 2 after I get out of school and do some practice driving with my dad. See you all on the other side!

 

---

 

After I came back I immediately did some tulpaforcing. This one was one more clouded and I had more stress and trouble than yesterday. I asked people on the IRC on if I should see stuff through my physical eyes, and they told me that I was focusing on my eyelids too much. I’ve basically got too caught up in my focus on not focusing on my eyelids, and my mind’s eye was pretty dark and unfocused. I still told Stan his traits and narrated to him, but I had trouble seeing his form and also the Vonderlende.

 

What to work on:

be less stressful

Don’t think too much on focusing, otherwise you screw yourself over in more than one way

MOAR ON PERSONALITY!!!

 

Day 3:

 

For some reason I had a sudden bout of depression that came out of nowhere-- maybe it was Stan (?). I felt like we would never see each other and I felt like I should quit right there before I got too connected. However, after I got back from school I suddenly realized how retarded I was thinking and quickly changed my mind. I apologized profusely to Stan on almost doing that to him, and ask his forgiveness, After I did, I became somewhat elated-- again, perhaps it was Stan.

 

I did the concentration guide with the dots, and that helped me beyond what I thought it would do. I was able to visualize the card and the dot, and it was only somewhat blurred. After I did this, I immediately went into my wonderland and saw it with much more clarity than day 1 and 2 combined.

 

In the Vonderlende I got rid of the table and decided to add in a refrigerator filled with delicious mountain dew (AKA, the delicious piss colored soft drink), and placed in my hand a mountain dew so that I could visualize moving it and feeling it. Stan’s form changed into a glowing orb of light, which I quickly placed his traits in through beams of different color that came from different orbs. I narrated to him throughout this venture and told him all of these traits that were into him.

 

About 45 minutes (?) of this, I took a break and just narrated to him on what happened. After talking with a few of you on the IRC for a couple of minutes and looking at some clothes, I returned to the wonder. Stan’s form had changed to a weird atom thing; it was a sphere with hula-hoops around it. I did a couple of minutes of personality focus on this form, and then went into visualization.

 

Slowly but surely Stan’s form turned to an ethereal humanoid into a somewhat blurred form of a faun. I just looked at this form and focused on everything about it. I then made this form an outline and saw the sphere inside that outline. I then did some more personality traits with that, and ended it there.

 

I also left a pair of shorts for Stan, and I went back to the sexy Vonderlende for a moment to see that he was wearing them and he moved somewhere.

 

This has been a momentous day, and I can’t wait for tomorrow! Thank you all at the IRC for your help during this abominable period of not being able to post at all. I believe that Stan also thanks you.

 

Day 4:

 

We’ve expanded the wonderland a little bit. There’s now a small kitchen with a living room that has a couch and TV. We forced in the kitchen and just did some more personality and form forcing. As I was about to leave, I saw Stan get up and head towards the refrigerator and get himself a sandwich.

 

Later I came back to find the plate empty and Stan just standing around like nothing happened.

 

Days 5-9

 

Basic tulpaforcing and visualization. Days 8-9 were hectic, but I made sure to narrate to stan at the very least.

 

Not much breakthrough, but Stan’s presence is growing by the day.

 

 

Day 10

 

Stan and I have done a good amount of tulpaforcing, and are intending to do more later.

 

Stan started to do the hula when I told him to surprise me, and boy he did. I have also drawn him out and his form is becoming more concrete. In fact, I can’t even really change his form at all now!

 

We did some personality forcing, and also some emotional forcing. Mainly we do emotions such as “sadness” and “lost” so that Stan can understand those emotions. However, we could do around five minutes of that because it was really heartbreaking and Stan’s eyes had black shadows around them during that; it was also raining outside of the wonderland house as well.

 

After that, we just did a bunch of narration and more positive tulpa forcing. He kissed me, which wasn’t as shocking as the first time and I just kind of went with it that time around. I also felt like he was craving a sandwich for some reason, so I got up and made one to eat.

 

His presence is even more concrete now; it is hard not to think of him... His emotional feelings are starting to become prevalent as well.

 

---

 

Before I went to bed, I gave Stan a key that lead to a door that in the middle of a grassy field. That door leads to my most precious memories, and I told Stan to look through those memories at his own leisure. We went into the room to see that it was dark place with a bunch shimmering stars all about. I touched one to see that it was a memory, and I told Stan to look through those stars. I also told him to surprise me again, and he hugged me.

 

Damn it Stan, that’s gay!!!!

 

Joking aside, I was quite taken aback by that action. Then again, I thoroughly enjoyed it. So Stan is now is now in the room looking at my memories, and I am in my room narrating some while he is doing that.

 

I’m heading to bed now, sleep tight everyone!

 

Day 11:

 

Fun amount of narration today. We talked about orange showers, showers, and golden showers!

 

Not really-- but we did talk about a lot more shit than all the days combine.

 

After giving Stan some of my memories I can communicate with him somewhat. I can't really hear his voice, but I can feel his emotional ties. When I saw Stan again after showing him my memories, he had a shocked face. I thought at first he didn't like my memories and thought I was a bad person. However, he proved me wrong by actually shedding a tear and hugged me.

 

Why, Stan, why u so emotional.

 

Today we had Thanksgiving at the house we're moving into, and I took a "nap" to tulpaforce with Stan before dinner. I talked to him and gave him some personality stuff and all of that. However, after around 20 minutes of this we both seemed to be tired and decided to just lie down on the bed together and just kind impose and feel Stan's form, which felt quite real to me.

 

And to anyone thinking "lol, did u HAVE TEH SECKS!?", no we didn't have teh secks, you perverts. We just kind of lied next to each other and I just tried to feel his warmth and form.

 

During dinner I narrated to him and thought of his form on one of the empty seats. I kept picturing some random topless women, which made Stan raise his eyebrows at me. So the day went like this: imaginary topless women, turkey, imposing on Stan, cuddling (lolwut), and narration.

 

Summary:

Success on every single level ever!

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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Day 12:

 

Did a bunch of narrating and thought up some conversation and what Stan's responses would probably be. Said responses I credited to Stan, and every so often I didn't think of one and just waited for Stan to speak.

 

I've been getting emotional pressures when I do that, so that's a good sign.

 

I also did the suggestion on the IRC, which was to tulpaforce in the shower. That actually helped me focus more, and I was able to give a clearer visualization process down. We also did some more open ended conversations and some personality forcing. After that I got out of the shower and just narrated to him as usual.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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We've been moving for a few days into a house, so I've haven't been able to update this at all-- I'm typing this out at school.

 

Not too much besides the usual steady growth of appearance and emotional connection. I believe today is day 16. Right now in our tulpaforcing sessions, I'm encouraging Stan to speak for himself and go explore the wonderland.

 

The wonderland now is a giant continent, of which I have not explored yet. However, I told Stan to go about that place and gave him a whistle that I told him "would be bring him back to the original house". He seemed to understand, and I have felt his presence fading and growing since then.

 

There is one final thing to note:

 

As I was trying to get some sleep on the 14th day, I felt a loud boom go through my head. It literally felt like an explosion in my head went off, and I jumped from my bed. Now I've never had any history of seizures or any weird anomalies like that, so I assumed that something happened into the wonderland.

 

I found that Stan was alright, and he actually seemed quite happy. Two days later-- today-- Stan showed me a large crater in the middle of the forest; I believe that that crater was the reason for the loud boom in my head. I went to investigate it and found a weird crystal thing. I gave it to Stan, and he started eating it... I guess rock candy comes from space or something.

 

 

Well, at least I figured out the origin of the noise, but now I am wondering on what that weird crystal will do to Stan. I'm too worried though, since he seemed to know what it was.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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A bunch of crap happened yesterday, but I'm too lazy to type it all up right now. To reciprocate for now, here's a drawing of Stan.

 

file15.jpg

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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Stan looks a bit like Mr Tumnus, just add a red scarf and voila! But now for something more relevant, do you have any plans on telling anyone about Stan?

Start Date: November 5, 2012

Humanoid Construct: Claire [MIA]

Stage: Not practicing anymore.

Praise the Lord for the gift he has given me.

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Stan looks a bit like Mr Tumnus, just add a red scarf and voila! But now for something more relevant, do you have any plans on telling anyone about Stan?

 

I kept laughing at Stan's poker face to him being called Mr. Tumnus; it's hilarious.

 

Anyway I believe that I will tell someone eventuallu. I'm either telling my mom (who would be more knowing on this subject) or one of my friends. However, it might be a while. I have told my internet buddies who I voice chat and cam chat with. One of them is a girl name Kannah. She is a little bit suspicious, but has told me to go at it.

 

I think when I tell my mom I'm going to tell her that the tulpa is a research on psychology that I'm doing. And that's %90 of the truth right there, the %10 being that I just want a tulpa who is awesome like Stan.



Alright time for the post I meant to place yesterday!

 

November 30, day 18.

 

Really interesting events happened during the forcing. I was planning on just sitting there with Stan and just practice on personality, body and vocal imposition, but that quickly changed when I remembered about the crater. I told Stan, "Hey dude, show me some of the places you found in this wonderland!"

 

He smiled at me and shot straight up and began to walk. I followed quickly behind and we were soon out of the grassy field into the uncharted forest of the wonderland. We went back to the crater, and I was confused for a moment as to why Stan brought me back here. I looked at him to see that he had a key in his hand that I've never saw before. He placed it into space and turned it like a keyhole was there, and-- voila!-- there was a gray door. He turned the the knob and we quickly proceeded in.

 

To my amazement it was a dance room-- a rave room of sorts. Stan went up to the disc jocky area and began playing "Gangnam Style" over and over with different mixes to it. Lights then started to flash, and I couldn't help but dance. Stan soon joined in and the beat quickened with each beat. Eventually the music stopped, and Stan moved over to what appeared to be another door.

 

"Wait, there's another door in here?" I asked.

 

He nodded, and opened the door. Rays of light came through and it was hard to see the other side. Stan went in first, and I closed my eyes to and followed. Once on the other side of the threshold, I saw we were at a beach. Behind us was the door and the treeline to the forest, and I realized that this beach was one of the beaches of he continent that was part of the wonderland.

 

It was quite warm there, and I imagined myself in a swimsuit and proceeded into the water. Stan just stuck to the shore and placed his hooves in the water-- I guess he's more relaxed than on I am when he's on a beach. I slowly made my way out of the cold water and sat next to Stan. We stood there for a while until my mom told me to come upstairs. We then used our whistles that I gave, and teleported back to the wonderland house.

 

I then did what my mom asked me to do (help her with moving furniture), and did one final tulpaforce sessions with Stan.

 

---

 

This forcing session was really interesting. Before the session I kept having a thought of Stan and I hold hands and us being pulled by two different polar forces. If you want a visualization, our bodies were somewhat bending two different directions away from each other. If you've ever seen a 3d model of the earth's magnetic shield, our bodies were turned somewhat like that. We were in a white plane with nothing in it at all.

 

When I began to tulpaforce, I saw that Stan and I were in that white plane. However, over yonder was a house a crystal that looked like one from the crater. I picked it up and gave it to Stan, which touched his bare chest and just went inside him; it was a very odd thing to see. We then walked towards the forlorn house and saw that it was a darker version of the wonderland house in the grassy field.

 

Stan stopped and I asked him what was wrong. He just shook his head and I got a feeling he didn't want to go into the house. Nevertheless, I told him I would be near him and we went inside. Another crystal was floating inside, and I just gave that one to Stan by instinct. Besides that there was no furniture at all but a baby's crib.

 

I went towards it to see an old blanket of mine. I grabbed it and wondered what it all met. I then imagined some chalk in my pocket and created a circle in the house. I told Stan that this circle would connect this house to our house-- encase we needed to come back here. He nodded, and jumped into the circle.

 

Once back, I placed the blanket on the ground near the couch and figured that we would learn about it later.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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Dec 1.

 

Usual tulpaforcing. We went to a bunch of places that I've never seen in the wonderland. It's quite long to describe, but basically there are about 14 doors that encircle the wonderland house and one has finally opened for us-- they lead to nowhere when we tried them.

 

Dec 2: Through the thin line...

 

Journey into the sub-c

 

I believe for us to continue in our growth, I have to give Stan full access to my mind. Therefore, I prepped myself and told Stan in advance on what we were about to do.

 

To create the mood, I began playing some music.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOFZSnz9J3s

 

The Thin Red Line- Journey to the Line

 

The music was suitable enough for what we were able to do; we were going on a journey that we could never return from.

 

I sat myself lotus style and placed myself in the wonderland. I put on some "wonderland" contacts and things became clearer. I then conversed with myself-- I.E. myself and what I perceived to be my sub-c.

 

I told him-- the voice-- that when I go out and grasp Stan's hand we would journey to a place unknown; to a place where no man for quite some time has gone. The conversation followed something like this.

 

Sub-c: Do you know what you are doing?

Me: Yes.

sub-c: You know that when you do this, you can never return.

Me: Listen, when I set myself on creating a tulpa, I crossed a demarcation-- a line-- that I could never cross again. And in doing so, I set myself up for this inevitable journey. We are just crossing another thin line, into which we will never return.

Sub-c: What is destination?

Me: Unknown, but somewhere. When I grasp Stan's hand, I will have crossed the thin line and onto that journey.

Sub-c: Then are you ready.

Me: Yes, I am.

 

And with that, I opened the door into the full wonderland.

 

I told Stan what I was doing, and he seemed to acknowledge it. I then grasped his hand and we quickly flew up into the place we call "The White Plane". Blue energy flowed between us and I looked into his eyes. There, I saw a spark of sorts (I would call the spark "the spark of imagination"). Soon dark clouds started to roll over us, and I could feel the cold air touch my skin; it was extremely real.

 

I then held onto Stan's other hand and we started to fall into a black void of sorts into the clouds. Moments later, we were in a room that appeared to be a library. In the library were two waterfalls that were cascading down into a river that went somewhere-- I didn't get a good look as to where yet.

 

"Funny," I thought to myself. "So this is my sub-c..."

 

I looked at Stan and saw that he was amazed at the sight. I told him that this was my sub-c and that all of these books held things about me that I know and don't know. I told him that he now has access to this place, and that if he ever wants to ever he need only say this phrase:

 

"Show me all of it"

 

And since he can't fully speak yet, I also gave him a piece of metal that if he kissed twice, would teleport him into the sub-c. He placed that metal on his wrist-band and nodded.

 

We hugged and I told him to go out and see it all. Right now I believe he is looking at some of the books in the library and "reading" up on me.


I actually wrote a poem on this event. Here it is:

 

I went through the line

That you pass only once.

I went on a journey

That you go only once.

 

Through the Thin Red Line

To a long sanguine land...

That place unknown to man

Except I, the forlorn man.

 

There, I found a friend

A mate whom I knew well

From a time long past

And forever gone.

 

There, he said:

Come to me, oh human child

Come and see me now.

These sanguine lands and wild wilds

Are but the journey of the journey

But a prologue of your story.

 

You go now to other wild:

The waters and the wild.

With a friend hand and hand

For the thin red line grows thinner evermore.

 

There I said:

Take me as I am,

Man before the Line!

I go there now, no matter what

With this friend of this land...

 

And I past through the valleys

And I past through the hills

I touched the sanguine land

And continued to the new found Line.

 

There I went through the new found line

That you pass only once...

I took a footfall, ever soft,

And held my friend through hand in hand.

 

Through the Thin Red Line

To a long sanguine land...

That place unknown to man

Except I, a new found man

And his friend.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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We read Hound's report.

 

Tragic, completely.

 

We can't really describe it in words actually, but it has made us closer.

 

God protect us, we are going through quite a hurricane right now.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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Again, a bunch of shit has gone down that will take me some time to write down. However, it's nothing bad; there's just a lot I have to say.

 

The gist is that Stan has changed his form a little. He's still a faun, but with different features now.

 

He has also shown me a lot of places in the wonderland that I've never seen, and I describe those in detail later.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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(yesterday)

Stan showed me two different areas of the wonder that I have never seen before. One of the rooms was in the subconscious room (the library).

 

Stan told me to follow him and the small river. As we went along, a flight of stairs manifested in front of us. We went down to see a room filled with flowers and other types of flora that were arrayed in many different colors. It was really nice and I felt quite at peace in there.

 

"What is this place?" I asked him.

 

"I dunno; it's nice though."

 

That's the basic summary of that. After that, we blew our whistles and teleported back to the front of the wonderland house.

 

He then lead me to a lake, which was quite warm with all things considering. Stan then showed me that he has two forms now. One is his faun form, and the other is a elf guy with green long hair and a 5 o'clock shadow. He told me that he wanted to feel what humanoid legs felt like, and he was quite surprised by them. However, he told me that he's still going to go barefoot since he's used to that.

Stan (my tulpa): "sometimes, I do lewd things when my host bends over :3"

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