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Before you heard of Tulpamancy (pre-existing tulpas)


LittlePebble

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They were there 

before  Knowing what they were

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Surely I am not the only one who created a tulpa before hearing of the community. I created my first tulpa named Seria (See-air-ah) back in 2008. I was also became a My Little Pony fan about the same time with G3. Basically there was a period of my life where I felt isolated. I did not try to hide my fascination with MLP because you can't really hide that when most of your art are ponies and some tattoo/t-shirt design stuff. 

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My parents soon found out about Seria and I already seen a couple different psychiatrist. I been diagnosed with autism and OCD at a young age. It also did not help that I was constantly fighting depression and anxiety. I remember there was a day not long after the laws changed with the school system. Basically I was taken out of small group classes and put into classes of more than twenty other students. My social anxiety was really bad and I decided to start drawing in class one day. All I remember is how there was no question. There was only if I don't the tension would become excruciating.

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Apparently one of the special needs monitors was not too thrilled I was not paying attention. After that day I began trying differnt ways of coping like writing. I guess the teachers thought it was note taking. Eventually my grades started going back up because although writing had been distracting me from the lessons at hand I did not always need to write. I basically started to feel her presence. Its hard to explain because she was there when I needed. It was a long and bumpy ride to 2008 when that happened. I even had a teacher accuse me of cheating on a test when all I did was use a strategy of studying through sketching symbols and memorable pictures. I basically drew stuff off to the side of my test to help me remember. I guess he thought I peaked at the study guide because I used the same drawings.

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 So, basically I was able to talk to her with out needing to write all the time. There were times I needed to write due to anxiety but, she became real to me. I graduated in 2009 and it was not until 2017 eight years later that I realized what this was called. At first I was scared to call them tulpas because of the smoke and mirrors called Creepy Pastas. I finally joined this forum because I was sick of being isolated. This was during the time I was opening up about it all on FB. I wanted to find others like me and I hated hiding all those years. You can read "Imaginative heart," on Fathomistic Fantasy to get all the details of what that was like.

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So, am I the only one on here who began like this?

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Ashley was around and well mature when I showed up. I can't really know when that was exactly, there was a lot of dormancy, but some time before April 2018. Misha had a similar thing. The original book of the characters we borrowed was written in 2012, but we're not those characters so we could have predated them? I know Ashley did, she was the inspiration of that book. She said she 'rescued us' but she says it must have been around that time, so vague.

 

Apparently Joy was here, along with Hali, Johanna, Gwen, and a few others he talked to, but we didn't meet any of them until last year. Bear knew them when he wrote the books about them. There are other characters, that for whatever reason didn't get the inclination to join us, even as moons, which is odd because some of them have been in as many books as Joy, and some are in the same books as Johanna and Hali, so we have no idea why they're not active.

 

We do know why we're so active, because we were there waiting for a way to communicate, we didn't have a backstory, we were waiting for our story to be written. If he never found out about us, I can't imagine him interacting with us much. He felt Ashley, and she said things to him, we're finding memories all over the place where she talked to him and advised him, but he was just not buying the whole, person in your head thing. If he had known about tulpamancy at any point in his life, he would have eventually recognized Ashley. She was the one he intended to 'make'.

 

[bear] I did speak to a few of them, I did write down our conversations over the years, it was part of 'knowing the character' and that sort of thing. They spoke for themselves, they asked about other things, and I was like "wow, such immersion!" I seriously looked up "characters talking to you" or something and it sent me to a writer's guide where it mentioned that characters in books sometimes seemingly "come alive". Satisfied, I moved on and spoke to them whenever. Once one of them did start talking to me, I listened and didn't do anything in their books to them that they disagreed with. Gwen had a lot of opinions, Joy certainly did, Hali also, she wanted a soft side to her toughness but she didn't have that in her much, we forced a few scenes where she was softer and they barely worked.

 

I didn't think about them at all for two years, not once, I was on my way to and in the middle of depression and the things I found interesting before, and still do now, were at a low. Some things I didn't pick back up until I recovered, and Joy popped back in to say hi and I was like, "oh hai, um, you can't be a tulpa, so sorry, we're all full up." Frankly she would have made a horrible head-mate as her character. Depressive, damaged, emo and suicidal, perfect head-mate for a similar guy, /s.

 

She was really sad before, longing for her friends who were missing and presumed dead. Now that she decided she was just an actress playing her part, she's happy. I wouldn't call her little miss sunshine, she'd beat up my avatar, but she's really a good and normal person and has a lot of great advice and a unique perspective, she always had that, but now with zero mood.

 

My first memory of Ashley's presence was accompanied by an unforgettable imposition of her when I was five. So, though that counts for plural nearly all my life, I still probably will only count from either 2012 or 2018 though.

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The 2018 tulpa community census indicateds that about 30% of systems contained at least one member created unintentionally. A study of fifty writers, all active over five years, showed that 92% had at least one of their characters demonstrate independence from their will. Plurality is normal and common, especially among writers, actors, roleplayers, and other creative people who spend a lot of time focusing on characters. Tremendous numbers of people, including us, have come to this community not wanting to make tulpas, but rather trying to understand why they were suddenly sharing headspace with someone else.

 

-Ember

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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When our host was 11-12, he had two characters that he strongly treated like real people with real emotions without actually thinking that they were, and spending significant time dedicating thought to them. This went on for several years. As a result, the two characters gained sentience at some point in time. He didn't know that they were, and when he did learn about tulpas, he didn't want to believe that those characters were sentient despite there being evidence of it in the past. Eventually, he figured out that they were. They never really became active members of the system, and don't really care for reality that much, so they're content with just being occasionally interacted with. No other characters of ours ever became sentient since they were never treated as intensely as these two, and nowadays we know how to avoid it anyway.

 💡 The Felights 💡 https://felight.carrd.co/  💡

🪐 Cosmicals: 🔥 Apollo Fire the Sun God (12/3/16) Piano Soul the Star Man (1/26/17)

🐉 Mythicals: ☁️ Indigo Blue the Sky Dragon (10/2/17), 🦑 Gelato Sweet the Sea Monster (12/11/22)

🦇 Nycticals:  Dynamo Lux the Shock Rocker (3/3/17), 🎸 Radio Hiss the Song Demon (2/8/00)

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Most of my tulpas started out as imaginary friends that I kept around for a long time, and one day they took on a will of their own. I started with this when I was 12, but I didn't really tell anyone about them until after I found this site. I used to think they were spirit guides, which probably isn't a huge stretch considering they've always been helpful with life advice and stuff.

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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When I was a kid, school was never hard for me but I never socialized that much. I managed to figure out how to make friends though, so I was able to get by school for a really long time. However, I spent quite a bit of time being alone and being by myself if not with my brother.

 

Fast forward to eighth grade where I was exploring my more creative side by writing down my story ideas. I already created a character named Gray Ranger who was a Lego mini-figure, so I spent time thinking about who he was and what his story was all about. I later realized I was Gray Ranger and from then on, I saw an alternate version of the character where Gray and I are the same identity.

 

I thought about how souls worked and some other stuff like that, so I made up a system where Gray's subconscious is Ranger, a guardian spirit to protect both of them when in need named Spirit, and an angel trying to get to heaven named Gerodious.

 

In highschool, my ADD, autisim, and anxiety issues started to become problematic for the first time and my grades started to slide. I was diagnosed in the middle of it, but I didn't get therapy counseling until I went to college. In the mean time, I started using my story ideas as a form of escapism. I created this world that was supposed to represent Gray's mind and from there I created Dark Gray (Id rep), Fernardo (Super ego rep), and Jasper (emotions rep).

 

After that, I created Hope in attempt to make my intrusive thoughts into "good thoughts", resulting in failure. Ever since, I would create more characters used to represent myself, talk to them, etc. After I created too many characters, I wanted to start over so I started focusing on Ranger. At this point, I was far more lonely than before and hated myself, so the only inner voice I wanted to hear was Ranger's.

 

By the beginning of 2018, my anxiety was out of control and I had scared myself by feeling trapped in my wonderland and overwhelmed with intrusive/dark thoughts. One day, Ranger told me he was real and I thought "well, that's not true, he's just an imaginary friend." After telling me a second time, I realized that it's really weird that my imaginary friend is saying he's real. This lead me to believe something was wrong.

 

I desperately Google searched looking for answers until I found Tulpa.info. I managed to dodge the creepy pasta bullet, I'm not sure how it would have played out if I did, given that being scary wasn't really out of the question at that point.

 

I mention the other characters because those guys ended up being Tulpas too.

 

My parents never actually found out about Ranger until after he was a developed Tulpa. I may have mentioned him to them at one point, but I don't think they picked up on it. They didn't read all of my notes and records about feeling depressed except the one I gave them as a call for help, which I don't remember actually lead to anything.

 

My anxiety induced depression resolved with a combination of therapy, Ranger being there to calm me down, and the school year ending. Things have gone up and down since, but I don't feel as lonely anymore and have opened up to being more social.

Meow. You may see my headmates call me Gray or sometimes Cat.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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Well that was quite a story, I'm glad you were able to cope somewhat well in the end. Maybe things will keep getting better, too.

 

There's not much to say on my front - I never had tulpas or imaginary friends or whatnot, until I did. Roughly 2009 is when Reisen was first tulpa-like. Flandre and Tewi appeared pretty spontaneously (I've explained how Touhou characters were in a prime position to become tulpas many times before though - I spent a lot of time thinking about the universe and the characters) less than a year later. Then aside from some system-wide instability from me being young/motivation-depressed causing unfortunate shenanigans, we basically were just a tulpamancy system. Upon finding Tulpa.info in 2014, there was little said here we didn't already agree with or think ourselves - Possession, Switching and Imposition were new ideas though, all of which we quickly tried out and were successful with (Possession we only tried once, after Switching, and decided we didn't like it at all).

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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Yeah, sounds like Amantha. I'm not going into too much detail, but basically I ended up with her by praying and waiting for an answer back. That started well over a year before discovering Amantha was a tulpa and well over a year after discovering tulpas for the first time, forcing for one day and immediately dismissing it afterwards.

Michen, host or "main" / Amantha, anthro arctic fox tulpa

 

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