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Beyond my Soul - Our Tulpastory
#1
Hey guys,
I'm Hireath, a ''new'' tulpamancer. I started a month ago with creating a tulpa, but I wasn't so motivated, and I really felt bad for being such a bad host. So I decided to give everything I can into her and write here our every-day-progresses of our forcing sessions so I won't forget.

So Day 1:
Well, my first tulpas name is Chiha, she's a girl with light brown hair and blue/green eyes and she is really lively. I'm still not able to hear her, sadly, but we will work on that!

Today I tried asking her to surprise me while we were in our wonderland. At first she just stood there and didn' t do much, but then, Well, I don't know how to explain this, but she kind of turned into... a puddle of ink? I couldn't hold myself back and started to laugh. :D But I'm still not sure if this was really her, or it was me unintentionally imaging her turning into ink...

Well, if someone read this, Thank you!
~Hiraeth
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#2
If it felt unintentional on your part, assume it was her Smile. Doubt is your worst enemy in the creation process and if you feel it wasn't you, if you're questioning it or wondering, then chances are it was at least 50% her.
~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~
        Click here! Come join us on the chat!
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#3
Welcome! Doubt is a big part of tulpamancy. Even though my tulpas have proven themselves i still manage to doubt, so don't feel bad about it, just keep forcing.
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#4
Hello Hiraeth, Chiha. Doubt is normal, and though I have far more evidence than I will ever need that tulpamancy works and Reilyn is real (sometimes I think more "real" than me, heh), I still doubt myself. Even if I am 100% convinced in her, it's always been hard for me to believe in myself and that I am not somehow messing things up. She reminds me that she believes in me, which I think says a lot about our relationship.
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#5
Hello there,
Thank you all for the kind massages!
I know that doubt is toxic and you should assume it was the tulpa, but I can't help myself to doubt sometimes, it's in my (or better: our) nature. Maybe we need it, maybe we want to constantly question, that what we are doing is really happening in this moment, so our belief only get's stronger.

But don't worry, I won't stop forcing! ?

Day 2:
Today I didn't forced much, but I think that I heard Chihas Voice! I was so excited!!
In the evening, before going to bed, i laid down, closed my eyes and played a colored noise(or voice?), the pink noise from Fede. After a little time, my body felt numb and I've really tried hard to concentrate hearing her on my right ear. I asked her some questions or encoureged her to say something, and at one time, it was like the noise was turning into a whisper, it was silent, but it was still a whisper.

I can't wait to try this again, I feel like we are so close!

I wish everyone of you a good night Smile
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#6
That may have been hypnagogic imposition, but in either case a good thing, and congratulations! I wish you further good luck.
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