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Blaycon & Runa


Blaycon

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[align=justify]Introduction: I heard the word "Tulpa" for the first time on Sunday, March 15th 2015, Since then I've had the idea of making my own Tulpa.

 

Day 0 (Monday March 16th 2015)

 

After reading on the bests ways to start I've created my Wonderland based mostly on my own house with a few tweaks here and there. The place is full of light and space for my Tulpa to feel confortable, I plan on expanding it when I get more practice but I consider this to be a good starting point.

 

Day 1 (Tuesday March 17th 2015)

 

I took a small tour around my Wonderland to make sure everything was in order before I started and it seemed like it was, so I decided to begin with my main goal.

I decided my Tulpa will be female and so I started choosing the name. After maybe an hour I finally chose the name "Runa" since its meaning hold mystery, wisdom and sounds cool.

 

Then I proceeded to choose her traits and skills mostly complementing my own (I know she may deviate so this is just the founding). The next day I'm planning on making my jump to what I think is the next big step.

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[align=justify]Thank you! I do plan to stick around xD and I wish your journey goes very well too Aranhil.

 

Day 2 (Wednesday March 18th 2015)

 

I started forcing late at night, I laid down on my bed and listened to some music to help me concentrate, I closed my eyes and entered my Wonderland. Every time I enter I try to do so at the same place I left before, I have no idea if this may help or not (or if many do it), but I think its what makes sense.

 

Once in there I went to a special room (an empty basement :O), calm and with a dark background so I could concentrate better in what I was doing.

 

I began visualizing a small glowing yellow orb, floating right in the centre of the room. I started to narrate to her, I began with her name "Runa", then I introduced myself. After that I started feeling a bit nervous and didn't know how to continue or what to say. I Suddenly felt a push, that head pressure I've read so much about (never got it during the wonderland making, so this was the first time). It actually came with great intensity, I could even feel pressure all the way down my spine for a brief moment, I liked that sensation, I took this as a sign and calmed down. (could that be her so early? whatever the cause, I'm glad it happened)

 

I then created a few "bubbles" around her, each with a single attribute or skill inside, I presented each bubble individually to her, I explained to her my own meaning for each and why I wanted her to have it. I kept feeling the pressure, maybe not as intense as the first moment, it became "normal" and lasted the whole process.

 

Once I finished I took her up to the main level of the house and gave her a small tour. At the end, I took Runa to her room and wished her a good night. I entered my own room, and went to bed.

 

I plan on reviewing these attributes on day 3 and I'll probably start giving her a form, but I would like to draw her before I do any big changes, just to make it easier to visualize her. I'll post the drawing here once I finish (It will be my first time drawing a person so wish me luck xD).

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Every time I enter I try to do so at the same place I left before, I have no idea if this may help or not (or if many do it), but I think its what makes sense.

 

I think that creating some kind of object permanence through keeping your entrances and exits consistent is actually a pretty good idea. If nothing else, it'll help keep your wonderland 'realer' to you. I'm gonna start trying to do this.

 

I Suddenly felt a push, that head pressure I've read so much about (never got it during the wonderland making, so this was the first time). It actually came with great intensity, I could even feel pressure all the way down my spine for a brief moment, I liked that sensation, I took this as a sign and calmed down. (could that be her so early? whatever the cause, I'm glad it happened)

 

Pretty sure people are gonna agree with me here, since it's a pretty commonly expressed idea, that just assuming that it's her from the start is the best thing to do. It'll give you more confidence in the process, and give you more confidence in Runa. There's no harm in assuming that it's her, and just rolling with it.

 

Interesting report, though.

We're all gonna make it brah.

 

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Pretty sure people are gonna agree with me here, since it's a pretty commonly expressed idea, that just assuming that it's her from the start is the best thing to do. It'll give you more confidence in the process, and give you more confidence in Runa. There's no harm in assuming that it's her, and just rolling with it.

 

And so I will ;)

 

On another hand, drawing people is still out of my reach, I'm not giving up on it yet, but for the time being I made this image on The Sims 4 so I can continue working on her visualization as planned.

 

Meet Runa :D

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She's pretty! Would you mind if I draw her?

 

Go ahead :)

I'll be looking forward to it.

 

Day 3 (Thursday March 19th 2015)

 

I took Runa to the basement and started with a small review of the last day, once again I introduced the traits one by one. Once I was done with that, I started visualizing her new form. I did so step by step, first it was only the shape, still made of the same light as the orb and once I thought it was stable enough I started adding skin, eyes, mouth, and every other feature I could think of. The progress I made was quite good I think, but it obviously won't be done on the very first day, its quite hard to keep everything in place while adding more. I ended up with a really basic appearance.

 

Progress so far: I can see the house in my wonderland on a first person point of view quite easily due to its resemblance to my real home, even the things that I modified stay in place and look good. The outside is a bit harder to keep stable, locations remain the same but the distance between them and the size of some seem to change constantly everytime I look at them.

 

Nothing seems solid yet, Its like I can see everything correctly but at the same time I can see the black background of my closed eyes behind it. There were a few moments when this background disappeared briefly and I had a clear image, so I think all I need is to keep practising on this daily, no problem here.

 

As for Runa, I'll keep working on her form until I can see her clearly and I'll passively narrate to her when I can. Once she's "solid" to sight I'll start working on other senses like smell and touch.

 

I'm open to any suggestions or questions you may have. :D[/align]

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[align=justify]Day 4 (Friday March 20th 2015)

 

I was busy mostly all day preparing for an event that will take almost all of my weekend so I had no time for any active forcing today. What I did instead was going passive and narrated my whole day to her explaining everything I did and why I did it, I also visualized her walking or sitting by my side when I could afford to do so, I could even see her shadow once. :D

 

I have no idea of how much free time I'll get during this event (If I get any at all), but at the very least I'll keep doing what I did today so those days are not wasted (Wasted in this matter of course, since this event is something I've been waiting for months)

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  • 5 weeks later...

Been a while since I last added something but I just didn't know what to report until now. During this month the progress with Runa has been quite slow, mostly because of lack of time for active forcing and me being stuck not knowing what to do, this month was however good to try different stuff, see what works and what not. So far I've discovered my visualization is a lot better when sitting in a dark and quiet room, I can't concentrate as much as when I lay on my bed but in exchange almost everything I see through my mind's eye is stable and "solid". When I lay down and try to do the same, objects seem to fade easily and get deformed. The theory I came to is that I am used to see the world when I have a vertical position (standing or sitting) and when I lay down it's only to rest or sleep. Trying to see objects while I'm laying down when I'm not used to it is probably causing these oddities. Because of this I plan to keep visualizing while sitting until I get enough practice to get into a more comfortable position.

 

Since I had little time for active forcing, most of my days have been narration whenever I remember to. At first it was quite hard, sometimes I would start talking to Runa while walking to college and find myself thinking random thoughts a few seconds later. I think I spent more time apologizing to her for spacing out than actually doing anything useful xD. Practice made things better, I still drift frequently but now I'm able to notice and get back on track just as fast.

 

I've been trying to help her talk during the last week by thinking of random words and phrases that I consider to be easy and helpful and then doing a bit of parroting with different voices to see which one fits the most. I also try to visualize the objects (from the words I say) to get some practice there too.

 

Day 35 (Monday April 20th 2015)

 

This was one crazy session, It all began when I was trying to sleep a bit earlier than normal, but I just couldn't, the heat, the random thoughts that come at night and me not being tired at all made it impossible. I decided to have a session of active forcing while I was waiting to get tired (I normally don't do this since I will normally end up sleeping fast not making any progress and waking up full of regret). Despite what normally happens I tried to keep the session up for as long as I could with what I had been doing for the last sessions, I was also trying to make a few questions now and then to see If I got and answer, but had no success there.

 

Things started to get weird here:

 

I started to talk about my day in general out of nowhere (yes I started drifting from the main session, but unlike other times I kept talking to her so I just continued with it) I suddenly heard a random sentence in a female voice that interrupted my talk, it was too sudden and lacked sense (I can't even remember what it said) I had no idea of what to think there, I just got silent for a while, still surprised. After 3 or 4 seconds of awkward silence I asked her if she was the one that spoke, I heard nothing this time, so I just assumed it was her trying to speak for the first time, this made me feel quite well. Then it happened, I fell asleep, but only for a while, I woke up maybe an hour later, I wasn't sure, it was still dark and I didn't open my eyes to take a look to the watch, I just knew it was still too early. Just as I was about to go to sleep again I heard another random sentence, same as with the first one, I don't remember what it said and this time it didn't even notice if it was male or female, it just appeared in my head as a silent noise (not sure if it makes sense). I then remembered I was in a session and decided to continue where I left it.

 

For the next events I have no idea what was real and what was a dream since I started jumping form one state to the other for the rest of the night, but in both the dreams and the real world I would find myself continuing the session.

 

I would find myself speaking to her normally in a room of my wonderland, then in complete darkness (probably when I woke up) and sometimes at some random scenery like and open field or places like that. I kept hearing sentences from time to time (still not a single one I can remember) by this moment everything was so unstable and weird I couldn't even understand some of them. This kept happening until I woke up and saw the sun through my window.

 

I have no idea of what happened here has anyone experienced something similar? I'd like to know what you guys think of this event. I consider this to be a mark of progress since I am assuming it was her saying all that stuff, but it still was confusing.

 

Finally I thank you all who took some time to read this huge post and I apologize if it was too much. :D

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