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Cardscov and Jasmine's progress log


cardscov

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Hey fellas! I'm not going to really introduce myself, I'm only posting this because my mind is always scattered and the production of a tulpa requires organization. So, naturally, I'm going to write down all this stuff so I can glance at it if I need help.

 

Tulpa characteristics:

 

Name: Jasmine

 

Form: Animal (arthropod)

 

Personality Traits (spend 10-20 minutes fleshing each of these out):

Curious

Naive

Kind

Caring

Compassionate

Intelligent

Religious

Skeptical

Logical

Intuitive

Impulsive

Hyperactive

Optimistic

Emotional

Cute

Loving

Forgiving

Persistent

Ambitious

Bull-headed

Confident

Prideful

Shy

Friendly

Harmless

Vulnerable

Perceptive

Organized

Overbearing

Cool-headed

 

 

I'm sure there's more to come, as I continue to over-think things with my tulpa. I've noticed I tend to either share these traits or find myself being the exact opposite of them. I'm somewhat afraid of making a tulpa and then not liking what I've done.

 

Two of the biggest hurdles I need to overcome is my inability to focus on tulpaforcing for extended periods of time and my trouble visualizing the tulpa's parts. I know the general anatomy of my arthropod of choice, which is why I decided on it in the first place, but it seems there's a mental block between that knowledge and being able to formulate a picture of it.

 

With time and practice, I hope to be able to get her up and running in several weeks

 

I welcome anyone's advice!

 

-Cypher

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Naive

...

Skeptical

 

Don't these traits contradict? Or are you thinking of them in different contexts?

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -- Dumbledore

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Don't these traits contradict? Or are you thinking of them in different contexts?

 

Definitely context. If you look through you can find many traits that seem mutually exclusive, yet for some reason it makes sense for me to put them in there.

 

Jasmine is naive because she's optimistic, her positive outlook tends to blind her to the really bad stuff. However, she's skeptical when it's appropriate: when she feels there's a risk of her being fooled, when something seems too good to be true. A lot of these traits show up on layers, the traits which seem more bubbly and adorable show up on the surface, but when she's going through some issue or trying to solve a problem, a whole other set of traits surface.

 

So it's just like people. We exhibit different traits in different situations :)

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Definitely context. If you look through you can find many traits that seem mutually exclusive, yet for some reason it makes sense for me to put them in there.

 

Jasmine is naive because she's optimistic, her positive outlook tends to blind her to the really bad stuff. However, she's skeptical when it's appropriate: when she feels there's a risk of her being fooled, when something seems too good to be true. A lot of these traits show up on layers, the traits which seem more bubbly and adorable show up on the surface, but when she's going through some issue or trying to solve a problem, a whole other set of traits surface.

 

So it's just like people. We exhibit different traits in different situations :)

 

Sounds like you've got the right mindset of thinking of her as layered and thinking of context. People seem to be rewarding good results by putting a lot into the development of personality.

 

Also, bravo on making an arthropod tulpa. That's the first one I've heard of so far that I can recall. What is she specifically, if you don't mind me asking, or is she kind of an original creation that just happens to be of that category?

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Yeah, unfortunately I'm not very well-worded when I try to explain her personality to her. It feels like so many of these things are so connected that at least half of those traits up there are redundant.

 

I suppose I'll go so far as calling her an arachnid. I'm playing close to my chest as far as the details simply because I don't know where else I'm going to go with this information.

Haha, but rest assured, my choice of form for her is purely lazy on my part. Choosing an arthropod as a form for a tulpa makes movement simulation much easier; you don't really have to worry too much about making muscles visibly contract. With arachnids, it's even easier because their legs are controlled hydraulically. That, and their body language is pretty obvious when you've seen 'em enough.

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Yeah, unfortunately I'm not very well-worded when I try to explain her personality to her. It feels like so many of these things are so connected that at least half of those traits up there are redundant.

 

I suppose I'll go so far as calling her an arachnid. I'm playing close to my chest as far as the details simply because I don't know where else I'm going to go with this information.

Haha, but rest assured, my choice of form for her is purely lazy on my part. Choosing an arthropod as a form for a tulpa makes movement simulation much easier; you don't really have to worry too much about making muscles visibly contract. With arachnids, it's even easier because their legs are controlled hydraulically. That, and their body language is pretty obvious when you've seen 'em enough.

 

That's interesting. Is she a pure arachnid or will she have some human features too? Like, is she an actual spider or more of a drider (spider centaur thing)?

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I have gone through a few sessions, but I seem to be incapable of retaining focus for longer than 15 minutes or so. I'm managing to spread my sessions throughout the day and passively letting my tulpa know that I'm letting it listen in on what I am doing.

 

What I've been doing to help imprint the personality involves a tiny bit of visualization. First, I imagine a perfectly spherical in my mind, and the traits that I explain are strings of text that shine with a certain color. I press this trait into the egg and watch it glow with that color. As I list the personalities, the glow changes its hue. Unfortunately, my ability to really get specific with these traits seems to be nonexistent, it's really hard to put the ideas behind the personality into words. Later, I'll just speak a few words and spend the majority of my time dwelling on the ideas before imprinting it.

 

I've tried a little bit of visualizing her form. It's going to be tough, I need to simulate about 16 or so moving parts, as well as the joints and stuff. Still is a load easier than the alternative choices >_<

 

I'll post another update tomorrow


 

That's interesting. Is she a pure arachnid or will she have some human features too? Like, is she an actual spider or more of a drider (spider centaur thing)?

 

Oh nono, that's almost more complicated than making a person with normal legs >_< I'm making an anatomically correct spider based on a single species, but I'm going to allow her to have a few morphs and idiosyncrasies. She won't be defined by a single species by the time she's finished.

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Whew, it's been a while hasn't it? I haven't been neglecting my tulpa, but I must say it's really hard to keep to an hour of forcing a day with work and school =_=

 

So far my tulpaforcing sessions are going well. I notice my ability to visualize varies per session, so that's a mite worrying. One session I was able to visualize (approximate) environments from memory, as well as animating my tulpa's shell to follow me around. Sometimes talking to my tulpa in its form makes it less boring than talking to her in her spherical yellow form.

 

Oh right. No response from her so far! But honestly, that's to be suspected. I'm barely a week in and my tulpaforcing sessions suck. I have a very hard time being concentrated solely on my tulpa, my attention wavers to a lot of other stuff. So I have a problem with daydreaming and distractions even in the midst of meditation, and that's delightful

 

On the positive side, when I discuss her personality/narrate, I find out new things about her. New connections in traits, maybe even new traits altogether. I don't really know if she can have any influence at this stage of infancy, but it'd be pretty neat.

It's pretty hard, but I've also tried to have her hang around for my daily activities. I think tuning her into what I'm doing daily is better than just talking about it, the only downside is that I have to keep my attention on her to keep her around. Again, baby steps.

 

Seeing as I have ADHD, that might be a pretty solid obstacle between myself and the tulpa, however I won't conclude anything until I hear her speak her first words. Maybe hyperactivity would balance it out.

 

Currently the only focusing agents I have are piracetam, caffeine, and choline. Piracetam and choline together may have very subtle effects when it comes to visualization, or they may be simple placebos. I'll continue experimenting with dosing them.

 

As a side question, does anyone else have ADD/ADHD? How does that impact your ability to tulpaforce?

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This forum is 90% autism, if it makes you feel any better.

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