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Crow's Report


SilentCrow

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I could come up with a clever name, but cool thread names are overrated.

 

I've been passively researching tulpas for a while now, because the concept just seems so cool to me. I don't know which side of the fence I am with explaining tulpa's existence. I believe in ghosts and stuff, so I think it might be metaphysical, but of course there's no way for me to know, so I'll be treating this as a psychological phenomenon, because that seems to be what all the cool kids are doing.

 

As far as my motivations for creating a tulpa; I could go on and give personal reasons about how lonely I am, and how I'm not the most mentally stable person out there, but the most prevalent reason is just that I'm curious. I'll always be asking "what if?" until I do it. I'm not just doing this on a whim either, I've been reading up on this for a while. I'm aware that it's a lifelong commitment, and I've come to the decision to go all the way with this.

 

So I created Aurora a little over a week ago, and I meant to do start this report then. But I've been putting it off. Anyways, Aurora is a human gal with a glowing blue aura (because why not?) As far as her personality traits, she's overall very positive, but also non-traditional and free-thinking. Someone who is open to new ideas, and loves philosophy. I shaped her personality traits to fit my ideal best friend. Of course, if she turns out to not fit these traits, that's totally cool. But I'm gonna at least force these traits until she shows signs of sentience.

 

Summary of things up until now (day 9)

 

I active force every day in our wonderland. It's an autumn forest, because autumn is the best season. I'm not sure what to fill my wonderland with, so I just keep it foggy like Silent Hill until I figure out what to put outside of the main area. I have an interesting method of entering my wonderland which involves walking through a dark hallway that leads to a door. I enter the door and I'm in my wonderland. The dark room just gives me time to become more immersed in my imagination and warm me up for visualizing. I usually find Aurora sitting on a bench. I greet her and begin personality forcing. I force a trait a day, explaining what a trait is and how it affects the way she acts. The I do a visualization session where I blank out the wonderland and just focus on her, trying to visualize every detail. I don't know if I read a guide about this or if it's something I just started doing, but it seems to help me visualize her form better.

 

After the daily routine we walk around the wonderland and talk about stuff. It's usually a one-sided conversation. One time we tried something new. I got the idea to do this from one meditation session I had where I spontaneously started visualizing a place I've never seen before. I think my subconscious generated it. It was like a setting I'd see in a dream, only I was fully conscious and not totally immersed like I would be in a dream. I decided to do a similar thing in the wonderland. I created a door that leads to a place generated by my subconscious, and it's a new place every time we enter. It's really cool seeing where it leads. It's like an adventure. The only problem is that it leads to a lot of head pressures. Am I crazy, or do other people do this too?

 

I also passive force at work. I narrate about basically everything I can think of. I keep it up until I get tired. Then it's hard to keep up the narration.

 

I had a strange occurrence the other night, and I'm not sure if it's related to tulpamancy or not. I saw blue flashes of light when I was going to bed. I've had hypnagogic hallucinations before, but it's been a while since I had one. It's probably just a random occurrence, but it could be that my brain is being rewired or something. IDK, just a theory.

 

Also, Aurora doesn't normally talk, but sometimes I get like, thoughts that I didn't consciously produce. I've had thoughts like this before I created Aurora, but never thought much about it. I'm never sure if these thoughts are coming from her, or if it's my subconscious, but if it's a positive thought, I just pretend it's her because I don't see any harm in it. I don't want to dismiss it if it is her.

 

I'm not sure how often I'll post updates, but probably whenever we make a breakthrough.

 

I'll also do a questions section in posts when I need input. Some of the things I ask probably have been asked before, but tulpamancy is always changing and old techniques and tips change all the time. So I want to have the most current information. And some of them are just for the sake of curiosity.

 

Questions

I usually active force for around 45 minutes a day. Is this a good amount of time? I've seen some guides advising that I force for at least an hour, but I can't seem to make it that long.

Will it take longer for Aurora to form if I don't force an hour a day?

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Welcome. Aurora sounds rad.

 

To answer your questions, no one's going to know if that's a good amount of time to force except you. If it works for you, go for it. The amount of time won't change how quickly she develops, that's up to your own brain and how open it is to being transformed (in my opinion). Some people's brains are really hard-wired and makes it difficult, others' flow freely and thoughtforms pop out like a woman who forgets to take her pill.

 

The end result is always the same, though. So just go at your own pace, be respectful of Aurora, and be patient.

 

Those thoughts that you didn't think up on your own? Yeah, that was probably her. Unless she's saying horrible curse words every ten minutes or planning world domination, it's safe to assume.

 

Overall just keep working with her, it'll be fine. Good luck.

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