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Dreamventures with Amelia
#11
I wish you the best of luck
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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#12
You also may just be psyching yourself out.  It doesn't sound like something a tulpa would say, and dreams are not always 100 correct or i'd have won the lottery a couple times already. The dreams might very well be just playing off your doubt and insecurity. It sounds like a tough problem. All i can say is having a tulpa can never be seperated from all the doubt even in the face of irrefutable evidence. It's like your subconsious mind wants to challenge it constantly.

Your situation slounds a lot like intrusive thoughts. The only thing i can think of is to listen to those emotions that are coming from her. She may very well be angry and frustrated, but not necessarily why you think she is. I believe that dreams are you, tulpas in your dreams are often contradictory to their true selves. Also, the girl in your dreams and your tulpa may actually be two different entities now. This separation and deviation from the source thoughtform can be awkward.

Again, if you can ask her what she thinks of this is a way utilizing that emotional bleed, that could resolve this for you. Or you may be stuck waiting for a dream, which may very well be inconclusive.

Follow your instincts though i guess, everyone is unique in profound ways.
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#13
Yeah, you might be right, I'm still struggling a lot with doubt and insecurities and I might've seen that reflected in my regular dreams, where I've been unusually angry and getting into heated arguments with people, something I'd never do IRL. I'm well aware that dreams are very unreliable and everything can happen, so I don't usually take everything Amelia says there too seriously. What scared me the most was the consistent negatives across different dreams, something I haven't experienced before. Usually if Amelia appears to be hostile in one dream I just ignore it and she'll be back to normal the next one, so this was a bit out of the ordinary and I freaked out. It's true that those dreams came very shortly after one another, so that could explain it.

I was concerned with duplicity at first, but I've convinced myself that it can't happen if I don't allow it to. There's only one Amelia and that's it. Also in my interactions with her in the dreams at no point did she mention duplicity or anything like it, it sounded more like she was upset because I was forcing the wrong way, parroting too much.

Last night I managed to get lucid once and meet Amelia very briefly. She didn't seem upset at all this time, she said that actually I wasn't really parroting that much, and that I shouldn't worry too much. The dream was very short and blurry so it wasn't very clear, but that was encouraging. Guess I'll try to get some answers from dreams while I keep forcing with caution.
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