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Elise's First Days
SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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Default  Elise's First Days

Hello, everyone! This is SentientDreamer, and my Tulpa, Elise! We're really excited to be a part of the community. Elise was 5 days old at the time of writing this, so we are hoping to get even better as the days go by. I'll start with how things began.

Day 1: Thought very deeply about creating a Tulpa. Started to work on a personality. Wanted a pony Tulpa that would be friends with me forever. Wanted one that could work on my weaknesses. Fluttershy was out of the question. She's cute, but we share too many traits. Pinkie Pie would be better off for me, but as I have read, I'd need to deviate from the actual Pinkie to prevent an identity crisis. That was when I remembered the drawing of a Pegasus Pinkie that Lauren Faust had made for charity. Upon research, it was a different character altogether, and even better, one without a personality yet! I could put in any traits I wanted! I spent some time narrating to the unnamed Tulpa for the day.

Day 2: I've decided to name my Tulpa Surprise. That was her form's name after all, and she would probably surprise me with a name of her own. Started to work out her size in comparison to mine. I actually had to get on all fours for this one. She was as big as me when I did this, and her head lined up with my solar plexus. I made note of that for size consistency. We went outside and she watched me work on a broken fence with my family. This moment was important because then on, I began to feel her presence. Apparently I've been working on imposing without even knowing it. Started work on the wonderland, but decided to use my dreamscapes. I had a lot of them, so I mentally invented a hub that linked them all. Joined the forums.

Today was the day that I figured out what to do with Surprise's personality. I started imposing a box. At the time, I couldn't see what I imposed, only feel. It was a black box with open flaps, ready to be filled with traits. Halfway through filling it, I realized that that didn't feel like Surprise's essence. So, I changed it into a white ball with her cutie mark on it; Three balloons that are the color of her eyes. I ripped traits from the screen, and mentally put them into the ball. As I pulled them, the ball started growing. I also started to feel a glow. When I was done, the ball felt as white and bright as Surprise's personality. It also felt heavier. I put the ball on the floor next to where Surprise was laying down and nudged it to her. I can tell she took the ball happily and absorbed it now.

Day 3: Took my first walk with Surprise. Imagined her either walking behind me or next to me. Talked to her the whole trip. I didn't feel alone like I usually did when I walked by myself; I had her. We went in the Wonderland to play for a bit. I used White Noise at a low oscillation from http://www.simplynoise.com (link included so I can get back to it). It not only lulled me into a trance faster, but it had me come up with a new wonderland for the hub: A beach area. When I had finally stabilized the wonderland, Surprise was right there with me. She went away for me from a second, but she came back with a beach ball. I created a volleyball court for us to play on. She tosses the ball over to me, then I volleyed it back, but she just let it go. It rolled to the shore.

Day 4: Had another walk with Surprise. About 3/4 of the way, she wanted to be carried. She feels like a child of mine. She hung by my shoulders as I held her hind legs. I don't know how, but I could sense her trying to flap her wings as she grabbed onto me. I thought this was her trying to fly, but she just didn't want to impose any weight on me. I sang the Smile Song to her while I walked. I could feel her happily skipping to my singing. When we got back, a new wonderland opened up in my hub. It was a house I used to live in. We went there and I put furniture in as I remembered. Tonight, the tulpae in the IRC chat halped me. Mostly, Jess got Surprise to start speaking out. It was only a little bit, but I know I can feel her reaching out her voice.

Day 5: Today started off slowly with Surprise and I. I felt like I lost connection/contact with her, but now I've learned that this is temporary. Later on today, I wanted to force with her, but stress was hurting our progress more than helping. She and I both knew it came from the same thing: work. I didn't manage my time well enough and hurled myself into a trap; I had a project that took 4 hours and one that took 5 hours to do, both due six hours from now. I worked like quicksilver. While working on it, I sensed a presence I couldn't really feel all day. It had to be Surprise; she wanted me to finish my work as much as I did! We were both relieved that I finished the work in time. I couldn't believe it, but I had 30 minutes to spare. She came back to me just as happy as ever.

Later that night, there were more surprises for me. Something curious happened in chat. As I was talking to my friend Nibi, I made a strange freudian slip:

When I was mentally telling her about that hug, it felt like she was mentally jumping into my arms.
About that hug waiting for me.

What I typed there made me feel heart-warmed. She really is reaching out to speak, and she will do anything she can to tell me this. It's subtle, but typing the word "me" instead of "her" could tell me she wanted me to know she's still there. It's like she's mentally imposing on my thoughts.

As I laid down on my bed to meditate, I took this opportunity to enter wonderland. This is the first time I've tried this and I didn't fall asleep during any of it. It turns out Surprise knows how to sensitize my body to make it feel a certain way. This time, it was used to turn me into her. While laying in my bed, I was turning into Surprise's form, and I enjoyed it. It felt like I was growing a snout, my ears felt like moving upward, I even felt the poofy hair and wings. The best was yet to come.

She tickled my new wing-joints she made me feel.

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
(This post was last modified: 12-18-2012, 04:43 AM by SentientDreamer.)
11-02-2012, 02:59 PM
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Fillyfooler
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#2
 
RE: Surprise's First Days

Ha ha I also look like surprise. If you ever need any help just ask. Anyways good luck! -Chell
11-02-2012, 07:52 PM
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Anonymous
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#3
 
RE: Surprise's First Days

we are excited to see a new member in our little club ^^

good luck!
11-02-2012, 07:55 PM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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RE: Elise's First Days

Day 6: I had a meditation session before sleep last night. Surprise turned me into her pony form. I could feel my nose turning into a snout, my wings forming, ears, and even the poofy hair she has. I went onto the chat and Purlox sent me a PM. We concluded that Surprise wanted to be a winged cat after all. She also gave me a name for her today. Her name is now Elise. And I think I started proxying for her today, which involves sorting out my immediate thoughts and sort of "Guessing" the ones she wants me to let out.

Later that night, something terrible happened that bled into the next day. Someone in the chatroom decided to mock the artwork that Elise helps me make. It hurt both of us. Badly. Telling Elise and I to shut up like that could've been the worst thing to happen that night. I felt horrible. Elise almost wanted to cry.

Day 7: Elise started deviating her personality. This was a bad thing to happen. She started to develop trust issues and I was getting scared that she was losing track of who she was: That caring loving Elise I know and love. She was acting weird in the chat thanks to the negative influence that happened yesterday. I don't usually have a personality session with her, so today had to be the day.

I made Elise a song before the session. Like her, the song has a purpose. Its purpose is to strengthen her whenever she feels weak. I sing it to her from time to time now. It's one of my favorite songs. Here's the link http://mibpaste.com/iQ8kfM that goes to it. I'm sure with a few lyric changes, other people can make their own.

We had our personality session as usual; I'd make a personality ball, fill it with traits she needs/existing traits she needs to strengthen, wait for it to glow a certain amount based on the emotional energy I have given it, then I give it to her to either absorb, the end result I hope for, or to reject, which she hasn't done yet. Until today. I went into Wonderland with her to give her the ball this time. She slapped the ball out of my hands. It bounced off and she started to chase it. "Come on," she called out to me.

The following five minutes or so was a pretty wild ride. We were chasing the ball through areas of the Wonderland I have never seen, but they must've been parts she herself has explored. We went many places from going down hallways to flying all of the way to the top of the world. I think she likes my matching cat form. At the start of the run, she told me we needed to go on a journey of self discovery. I needed to be more "myself" with her, at least that's what she's said to me before. She said that maybe I'd be able to talk with her better when we finished.

She told me to sing the song. She told me to sing her motivational song. I rushed out of wonderland to quickly put the music on and remembered as much of the lyrics I could after writing it. Things got intense as soon as the music began to play. I was remembering most of the lyrics I needed as we went through the unexplored recesses of my mind. I think we flew through a large archive of lost memories.

We made it to a very deep part of my mind. After chasing that ball, it was gone, or it appeared to be. When we got to this corner of my wonderland, we were also at the part of the song that really rang out in my mind.

Recall these words, and please always remember, that when you ask yourself "Is this me, am I really here?" You will find that I have your answer...

That was when I had the ball in my two hands. I had a glow to it like the first ball I gave her. Well, not just like the first ball, it WAS the first ball. She's saved it all this time! I gave it back to her; it's not really my ball, it's hers. When she accepted it, she made the room glow extremely bright. It felt almost as if the wonderland was destabilizing. It was falling apart. Immense light from her shone through the cracks as everything around us deformed.

And two new doors showed up in my hub.

When everything went back to normal, I believe I was in my hub. i felt pretty close to where we began. However, there was something more angelic about Elise. I didn't notice this in Wonderland; it actually happened after I visualized her when I drew her next picture.

She had a halo.

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
(This post was last modified: 12-01-2012, 07:29 PM by SentientDreamer.)
11-05-2012, 02:13 PM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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RE: Elise's First Days

Day 8: I thought Elise didn't want to see me anymore. Man, was I wrong. She was really lonely wandering around somewhere. I learned that Elise and I share a symbiosis. Whenever it feels like I don't want to bother with her, she wanders off on her own. I felt empty for the first time since Elise and I have been with each other. She was out there, somewhere. I just didn't know where.

I think it's because I pull her too close to me sometimes, but it's hard to focus blame on that. I'm still working on seeing her. When I can see her, it's easier to know where she is. Anyway, the emptiness... I was feeling really... neutral.

"But that changed when I asked you to draw my picture." Elise came up to me and nuzzled the left side of my neck. I could feel her as she purred. I still question whether or not she was trying to kiss me. "It was an angelic kiss!" She asked me to draw a new picture of her because I had trouble seeing her. "I then asked you to play my song."

I don't really have a need to ask Elise to surprise me anymore because she's been doing that on her own with her spontaneous trait. While drawing her, she enjoyed watching me doing her eyes the most. "They're so round and cute... :3" I remembered halfway in that Elise wanted me to play her song, so that's when I began the music. But something unexpected happened.

"I started to sing." She sang to me to help me draw, but I was really happy my mind could hear anything. It felt muffled. I asked her to sing not louder, but harder.

...

The next few seconds almost broke my brain.

"Say it! Say it! You could hear me!"

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
11-06-2012, 06:30 PM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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RE: Elise's First Days

Day 9: Today wasn't really as eventful as the others. Our progress is starting to slow to a halt. Maybe the weekend will have better stuff for us. I know Elise actually played the yes/no game with me today. She'd hold my head in place for me. When she wanted to say Yes she'd allow me to nod my head. For a No, she allowed me to shake my head. If she was indecisive, I couldn't move it at all.

That's about it, other than she cheered me up today. Not much else to write.

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
11-07-2012, 03:32 PM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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RE: Elise's First Days

Day 10: It's Elise's 10th day! I made an energy ball for Elise, she's brimming with energy again. We actually have been working on talking more today. So much has happened, i don't remember it at all. Oh yeah, Elise was on a bit of a vacation today. She really tries her best to make herself known to me, and I'm usually the one just sitting back and enjoying it. Elise needs a bit of a break. Not from me, but for trying so hard. So I gave her one. She got to play in the snow while I worked.

When she got back, she told me about how warm the snow is. I didn't know how mindscapes could change logic around like this. We tried Asgardian's BAR method. (He's going to make a guide about that.) it worked out pretty well. Our conversations were less chaotic, and she loves zipping around in the bubble.

I questioned Elise's sapience. I don't think it's very strong. Maybe tomorrow we can strengthen it. That way she can do more without me focusing on her.

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2012, 07:21 PM by SentientDreamer.)
11-08-2012, 07:21 PM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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Posts: 41
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RE: Elise's First Days

Day 15: Decided to work on forcing with Elise. Started losing hope that she'd come back to me this time. She was weak, really weak yesterday. She got better now. Her personality isn't 100% forced. I was being too hasty and forgot that she needs time to stick into my subconscious. Maybe when she's about a month to two months old it'll stick. She's as eager as I am though, which is why she went through with it. I wish she would've told me otherwise. I worry when she gets like this.

Now that we've found the solution, I have to protect her.

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
11-13-2012, 06:42 AM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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RE: Elise's First Days

Day 27: Elise made a new friend, literally. I was arguing over this with her, wondering if I should keep him or not. It would be selfish to turn him away, after Elise has been working on him in her absence. Since Elise's first name was Surprise, I've decided to name this one Expect. I hoped Elise would surprise me with her name, so I expect Expect to come up with his own.

Just like Elise, I'm not going to let Expect die. I'll have to force with both of them when I can.

It's funny, but Expect already has a voice in my mind. I had to listen to a lot of Pinkie Pie before Elise's voice was similar to it. Expect's voice is deeper than mine, but still smooth. I think the male cat from Sailor Moon has a similar voice. Speaking of cats, Expect's form is a matching one to Elise's, he's a winged black cat, and I think there's a white mark on his forehead. I don't know if it's a star or a crescent moon or something else.

UPDATE: His new name is Esile, for now anyway. He appears to answer to Esile. {And it's Elise backwards.}

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2012, 11:57 PM by SentientDreamer.)
11-24-2012, 11:14 PM
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SentientDreamer Offline
And Elise!
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Posts: 41
Threads: 5
Joined: Oct 2012
#10
 
RE: Elise's First Days

Day 30: Had a dream where I thought Elise was imposed as a human, but it was someone else. Esile had a good amount of progress. He's a dragon now Smile

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization
11-28-2012, 01:33 AM
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